Pregnant after a Loss

How do you turn off the worry?

I am having a lot of trouble worrying about every little thing. I'm hyper aware of everything my body is doing and I get super anxious when my boobs aren't as sore as they were 10 minutes ago, or I've been having the chills lately. A friend of mine has a blog about her multiple losses, and while I know that it helps her, I read it and feel more scared because I'm afraid what happened to her might happen to me. I have an appointment with a counselor on June 21st, so unfortunately that's not helpful at this point. I try talking to my DH or my sister or my friends and they just keep saying "You need to try to be more positive. You need to stop stressing. It's bad for you" Well, pardon my French, but NO CRAP. I know that. No one has any other advice about my concerns. I guess I'm just wondering if any of you have any tips on trying to relax and trying to block out all of the worries and anxieties. I'm only 6 weeks in and I'm absolutely terrified that this pregnancy will end in MC just like the other one. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated.<3
Me: 28 DH: 29
Married: 4-25-2014
TTC: March 2015
BFP: 2-18-16
Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
D&C: 4-2-16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17



BabyFruit Ticker

Re: How do you turn off the worry?

  • I know I'm not active (yet) on this board, I've been a lurker for a few years. I have four miscarriages under my belt, the last one just happened in April and I'm also now about 5-6 weeks pregnant. I analyze everything as well and drive myself crazy! For me, what has been getting me through is just trying not to focus on it and keeping busy. I have organized and decluttered rooms in my house, cleaned things that haven't probably ever been cleaned, and often take walks. Good luck and even though it's difficult, stay positive! 
    DS Maxwell - 08/25/2009
    Wedded Bliss - 05/19/15
    MC - 05/15/15 & 7/29/15 & 11/25/15 (You were wished for, hoped for and loved)
    BFP#4; EDD 10/21/16 - Praying for a miracle.

  • ***lurking***
    I'm so sorry for both of you ladies and your losses. I'll be sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. 
    I've had a MC at 8 weeks and lost my son at 39 weeks due to a cord accident during labor. 
     My 3rd pregnancy with my rainbow DD was full of anxiety. Counseling, my hospital's perinatal bereavement group, journaling, listening to music, walking outside and being in nature all helped me. The anxiety and fear will be there, but hold tight to your hope. So many hugs to you both. 
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  • @WinchestertoPittsburgh and @msunshine123 Thank you so much <3
    Me: 28 DH: 29
    Married: 4-25-2014
    TTC: March 2015
    BFP: 2-18-16
    Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
    D&C: 4-2-16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17



    BabyFruit Ticker
  • CPR79CPR79 member
    When I first posted on this board, someone told me that the worry/anxiety/etc will never fully go away (and they're right), but the only thing you can control is your today.  "Today, I am pregnant."  It's definitely not a magic bullet or anything, but saying that to myself often helped.  Journaling also helped, when you write you can be positive, negative, terrified, hopeful, anything you want to be.  I also had 2 good friends that went through losses and had subsequent pregnancies that were good resources.  Sometimes just letting your feelings out on this board to others who understand helps. You just need to find out what works for you. Good luck!
  • @CPR79 Thank you =)
    Me: 28 DH: 29
    Married: 4-25-2014
    TTC: March 2015
    BFP: 2-18-16
    Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
    D&C: 4-2-16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17



    BabyFruit Ticker
  • My advice is probably irritating to hear too, but I'll share what works for me. I have had 4 mc and am 12 weeks pregnant now. When I finally came to the realization that there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop a mc from occurring, my whole outlook on my pregnancy changed. I still worry, as I think most of us on this board always will, but the truth of the matter is that we just have to let nature do it's thing...regardless of what that means. If something is wrong, there is nothing we can do to stop it. We can only appreciate each day we get to carry our gifts and pray that it lasts. My husband and I also enjoy celebrating our milestones (seeing the hb, making it past 8wks which I have never done, and hitting the second trimester.) Try to enjoy every moment. I hope you find some peace within yourself too. It's a tough journey. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy.
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