To try or not to try this month? Need advice!

toesinthesand-2 · June 2017

I had my EP treated with MTX. I was told to wait 2 cycles/3 months once my hCG had reached 0 to try again. My levels were super low to begin with so my hCG was at 0 within 6 days of my injection. Since then I've taken a prenatal and an RX of 4mg Folic Acid daily.

I've now gotten my 2nd cycle behind me, and should ovulate next week. The issue I'm having is that I switched doctors recently, and the doctor I just saw said "well if it were me I'd say maybe wait one more cycle". That's just based on her own opinion, no new tests have been done to check anything.

Literally every doctor I've seen (from the ER to my follow-up appointments in my OB office) have all given a different answer ranging from 2 months - 6 months. It's gotten me so nervous that I'm going to make the wrong medical decision.

What did y'all do? How soon did you try again if you were treated with MTX?

dpjennifer · June 2017

Unfortunately the advice from medical professionals on this really does vary. Sometimes it's rationalized by specific medical diagnoses or situations, but other times it seems to be a 'best guess' based on either updated or outdated medical research. With an ectopic you really want to make sure you're cleared and good to go.

I know you're probably very eager to continue, but does being benched one more cycle to be on the safe side cause serious duress?

toesinthesand-2 · June 2017

@dpjennifer - Well I guess you could say waiting causes serious duress...but I guess that depends on what you'd consider serious. The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust suggest 12 weeks for anyone treated with MTX. I will be right at 11.5 weeks during my next fertile window.

My DH and I were NTNP for 2.5 years, and then actively TTC for a year when we finally got our first BPF....which ended as the Ectopic. He travels a lot for work, and I'm a wedding photographer - which means I'm contractually obligated to my couples 12+ months out. We have tried every which way to plan this out....from only TTC during months that would result in me having a baby during my off season to me turning down most inquiries so we could just TTC without the stress of planning around anything.

In a perfect world I'd say "screw it I'll just TTC and deal with the outcome" but financially that's not logical for me to turn down clients on the off chance I might get pregnant - or refund people already on the books because I do get pregnant. We're at the point where we can try in June & July and if we don't get pregnant it's got to go on hold until at least October.

dpjennifer · June 2017

@toesinthesand-2 Ugh, the work schedule thing must be a huge stressor. Now I see. Is it possible that you know someone else who does Wedding Photography that you could have take over contracts for you if you did become pregnant?

It's one of those times, like I wish I had in my life, where you just wish for a crystal ball that would tell you the future. It's definitely stressful to be trying to plan out a life and work schedule and trips and everything based upon you maybe getting pregnant. However, my therapist would say (because she's told me) that you can't just put life on hold. PG is uncertain and MC happens, so just live your life and enjoy the moment and whatever happens happens. You cant put off living for a 'what if.' Because you never know when/if you will become PG again. You don't know if that PG would lead to a live birth or a MC, or if you'd need to be hospitalized/bedrest for months. As a perpetual OCD planner, I find this to be the most difficult thing to do.

If your original OB said that 2 cycles/3 months was fine... and the new one didn't say to definitely wait a month, but more of a ho-hum "I'd maybe wait one more cycle..." and esp. if you have been trying for a while so the chance of you getting KU this cycle isn't particularly high, then maybe you should go for it?

toesinthesand-2 · June 2017

@dpjennifer It's definitely in my contract that I can have a replacement should an emergency come up. I have a huge network of photographers I could certainly reach out to if a situation came up. In the wedding industry though that's considered a last resort and you'd better be dying to have to send a replacement. The main issue is brides are crazy...lol. They spend so much time searching for their vendors it sends them into a tailspin to have to say "hey I'm pregnant, you can either keep me and be ok with a replacement should I not be able to show up OR I can refund you and you find someone else".

I was initally one of those people who tried to plan it. After not getting pregnant I definitely let it go and decided it's something that couldn't be planned and we just needed to let it happen. That's why I intentionally turned down inquiries so I could just try to focus on getting pregnant without stressing if I'd be due in a month with 5 weddings on the books.

I'm leaning towards going for it, the fear of the unknown just sucks.

dpjennifer · June 2017

@toesinthesand-2 Brides are crazy! I remember someone TTCAL complaining months and months ago that she was a bridesmaid in the wedding and the bride told her that she was sorry she had a MC and had a hard time conceiving, but she needed to wait until after her wedding to try again cause she didn't want the girl to not fit into the bridesmaid dresses she'd picked out, and be PG in her pictures!?! Ugh. Weddings make people crazy! But I am glad that you do have that 'emergency measure' in place... just in case!

Its hard when you've been in the game as long as we have. Definitely gets rid of the planning. Guess we'll see if you get more opinions? I guess I'm rooting towards Go for it! See what happens?

justsuzie · June 2017

My doctor said I needed 3 months of natural Folate intake from food while taking prenatals after my HCG hit 0. Gotta rebuild it all and some bodies can't transform the folic acid pnvs as well as the real stuff. so many differing opinions. I feel your pain. For me, I would worry that I didn't wait long enough and stress the entire time if I got pg earlier than rec. In fact we had a contraception malfunction on my last month of being told to wait and I freaked out. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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