Cancelled FET - looking for some love and support

nmtay · June 2017

Ok i know I'm not the only one this has ever happened to, and I know my infertility journey has been much less painful than plenty of others, but this really sucks right now! I'm young and healthy and out "diagnosis" is still unexplained infertility, but we've been trying for nearly 2 years, nearly a year of fertility treatments, 1 fresh IVF - CP, 1 FET - NP. So I'm getting rather nervous over here about anything ever working. We have 4 frosties left, so we still have another couple chances, but the cancelled cycle this month is going to cost us several thousand dollars more on our next cycle because of insurance crap, so now I have to deal with that on top of the emotional rollercoaster exacerbated by all the hormone crap, plus i have depression and anxiety. So extra blech. Commiserating stories and/or sympathy/encouragement would be much appreciated!

Also does anyone know how "normal" this is? Basically my lining was too thick so they said I need another period to shed it first.

shauna43 · June 2017

I'm sorry...i do know your struggles. Not particularly with lining. I've been trying for 10 years...5 failed ivf. Then I had to wait a cycle to get my tubes removed in jan. Then now I'm waiting because I'm doing the ERA test. So prob won't transfer til august.

What was your lining? And what will they do to prevent it getting to thick this time?

I'm sorry (((hugs)))

prudence9-2 · June 2017

@nmtay so sorry about the canceled FET!

at what stage during the cycle was it cancelled? At my baseline appt I was also told that my lining is too thick and I have been worried about it since

krenee124 · June 2017

@nmtay I'm sorry

i dealt with day of cancellation for my IUI due to semen analysis and an FET cancelled due to my lining too thin. Hang in there. It's such hard news to hear, I know! You're in the best spot - the Bump - and asking for support. My nurse told me - take as many days to be sad but the second I start to feel okay, I need to run with it. My body and future baby need me. That helped me take my time and then turn around and try again. So far, it's worked! Have a glass of wine or beverage you love! You deserve some R&R!

kaseycoco · June 2017

@nmtay I'm so sorry to hear about your cancelled cycle. There's so many factors that go into a cycle, and it's hard to feel like you can't control it. I have heard of cycles being cancelled for the lining being too thin or too thick, so I don't think it's that uncommon. As @krenee124 said, it's good to let yourself be bummed for a few days and do what you enjoy to help move forward. I had to be benched for a few months and as frustrated as I was, I tried to remind myself that it's better to solve any problems before transferring one of my precious embabies.
I have had a very similar journey: just under 2 years of trying, 10 months of fertility treatments/tests etc. 1 failed round of IVF and 4 frosties! The IF journey has definitely brought me down many times, but we can only hope it works eventually and keep moving forward. Good luck to you, and definitely enjoy some R&R!!

nmtay · June 2017

Thank you everyone so much! It's really helpful to remeber I'm not alone and there are other people out there who this kinda sucks for too ❤

@shauna43 and @Prudence9 I jist had my baseline appointment and I didn't pay attention to how thick it was, because the ultrasound technician didn't really tell me, she just took the pictures and said they'd call me after the doc looked at them and my blood work, but our nurse said that it looked like I hadn't even had a period, so that's definitely an issue! She said that there's nothing to do really but wait until my body sheds it, but she did say thay it could be because I just had a failed FET and my hormone levels weren't balanced right when I came out of it my estrogen was too high with relation to my progesterone, so that could have caused something weird to happen...she did say that there's no reason to expect my next period won't fix it though, so hopefully that works for you too, @Prudence9!

@krenee124 and @kaseycoco yes thank you! Sometimes I feel like my husband (or actually usually extended family or friends with holidays and such) expect me to be up to doing things and visiting people like the day after getting bad news on the baby front! DH is actually pretty amazing 99% of the time at being strong and supportive cause it's harder on me than on him, but sometimes I do feel like I just need someone to give me "permission" to be selfish about this mess I have to deal with. I only have 1 IRL friend dealing with any of this, and they decided to adopt instead of taking the fertility treatments route, so sometimes I just feel like no one understands me and what I'm going through

prudence9-2 · June 2017

@nmtay i hope you get your period soon and is cleared for FET then!

i have a feeling my FET is about to get cancelled too. Waiting for a call from my dr

prudence9-2 · June 2017

Got the call from the Dr with biopsy results.. My June FET is cancelled. not gonna happen. Dr told me I have some cell growth in my uterus they don't really know what it is. They think it's from a previous pregnancy... she was at loss... ahh really didn't expect results like that from the biopsy.

Anyway, plan is to stop prep for FET. And instead take progesterone for a week. Then get my period. And a week later have hyseroscopy and see what's going on in there. She said I could tough it up and do it with only local anesthesia. But I can have full if i prefer.

Then, depending on the results, she will put me on antibiotics in case I did have an infection. And if all looks ok, we could do FET then.

If im lucky I will have FET in July.

Good thing I did the biopsy. I wouldn't have been able to get pregnant with those leftovers. So I'm glad we found out. But right now, all I wanna do is cry. But I'm sitting in front of the computer at work. No one here even knows about all this shit. Ahhh.

So sad right now.

nmtay · June 2017

@Prudence9 oh my goodness I wish i saw this yesterday! That sucks

nmtay · June 2017

Gah i just typed this huge message and it didn't post all of it! Just a sec...

nmtay · June 2017

@Prudence9 oh my goodness I wish i saw this yesterday! That sucks

nmtay · June 2017

Happened again but this time i copied it first! So i apologize if it takes several tries...it may be the emoji that are an issue lol

@Prudence9 oh my goodness I wish i saw this yesterday! That sucks I did a biopsy a couple months ago before my first FET and oh my goodness it was SO FREAKING PAINFUL! Thank goodness it came back normal, but to have it lead to another painful procedure is so much worse! (hugs) on the plus side though, at least they did find something to "fix", so hopefully that gets taken care of and figured out quickly, and if it does then maybe your next cycle will be perfect and magical! And assuming my body figures things out this time, I'll be slated for July too, so we can be buddies!

Keep me posted on how the hysteroscopy (did i spell that right?) goes! Good luck! Also, if you think it would help, it may be worth it to tell someone at work about it. I work from home now, but my boss totally knew about everything because I was so sick from all the drugs that I was throwing up several times a day, so it was pretty impossible not to tell her, and for the most part it was really nice to be able to talk to her when I was particularly frustrated, and even though she totally couldn't relate, she could sympathize with the fact that I was dealing with something that was really difficult and especially something someone my age shouldn't have to worry about! If it's not feasible/reasonable though, then you can always vent to me! (slash all of us) I feel for you, this totally sucks, but it will work out eventually!

prudence9-2 · June 2017

@nmtay thanks! Hope I will be able to have next FET in July and then we'd be cycle buddies

the biopsy was super painful for me as well.

Few years back back I had hysteroscopy to remove few polyps and I was out for that. This time they suggested that I am not. I'm still not sure about it. So will talk to an OR nurse on Monday to find out more details. If they totally sedate me, maybe I can be up for that...

i know now this is a good thing that we found out before I used another embryo. But I was already injecting Lupron for 19 days. And was so close. And now it is far away again. All this waiting around is really tough.

I know I should probably tell someone at work. But I only work with guys (I'm a software engineer). I do tell them I have procedures etc... but not what they are...

nmtay · June 2017

@Prudence9 dang yeah that definitely sounds like something that would be better to be out for! Good luck and let me know what you find out tomorrow!

That's super rough. I hate needles more than I can say with words, so I totally sympathize with the frustration and misery of extra injections that turn out to be for no reason...and seriously! The waiting thing is ridiculous! It is so frustrating that if anything goes wrong with one cycle, you have to wait a whole month (or more!) to try again. Plus you have to essentially break up with all your plans and ideas and hopes for "this cycle", and deal with the emotional rollercoaster there. Sometimes I just get so angry at my body...but then I have to try to remember that it's important to still love myself through all of this mess...

Dang that definitely complicates things! I was a sewing teacher, so I had the exact opposite! It's amazing how much harder it is to talk about how your uterus doesn't work to someone who doesn't have one

but seriously I'm sorry that a support network is much less feasible in that realm. (hugs) and at least we are on the computer, right?

prudence9-2 · June 2017

@nmtay thanks! And yes, at least on here I can talk to women that are going thru the same process... that def helps!!

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