TTCAL/ Benched AL Check-In Week of 5/29

AlohaKumu · May 2017

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What song will make you start belting out the words, no matter where you are?

KariAnn323 · May 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Loss at 5.5 weeks in December and CP in March. Diagnosed with LPD and taking progesterone after O.

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going okay I guess. Girls weekend was a lot of fun and very relaxing. They all know that we've been trying and about our first loss. The three of them are all child-free by choice, but have made it clear that they are cheering us on. Still feeling kind of like what's the point of getting KU if I can't stay KU. But I'm trying to remind myself that now there will be a lot of more testing of HCG and progesterone levels when I get KU'd so there's a greater chance I'll stay KU.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope, just waiting to O

GTKY: What song will make you start belting out the words, no matter where you are? Probably Don't Stop Believing and All the Small Things.

dpjennifer · May 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. See signature

Status: Benched. TWW I think?

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I put on some weight between ovulation and eating this weekend, and I feel like I'll never lose the 20+ pounds if I don't buckle down on it. I need to get motivated and lose this so I can get the progesterone biopsy and try again!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope.

GTKY: What song will make you start belting out the words, no matter where you are? Oh goodness, so many songs! I sing all the time (er well, make noise?)

KariAnn323 Hopefully all the tests and progesterone will help you stay KU next time! It's definitely rough to continually get KU and then lose it...

msmeeseeks · May 2017

@KariAnn323 - I'm glad girls weekend was a success! I hope you find it comforting to remember there will be more testing when you get KU next time. Will your OB see you right away next time?

@dpjennifer - I'm sorry for your losses. Forgive me for the dumb question, but I don't know a lot about it. Why does your doctor want you to lose 20lbs before getting the progesterone biopsy?

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC in March at 6 weeks

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are still going ok. A while back, I ordered a small citrine ring to remember my November baby. Nothing fancy, just a simple dainty ring from Etsy. It came today, and I love it. It's very soothing to be able to look down and see a tangible reminder.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope. Next step for me is establishing care at a new OB.

GTKY: What song will make you start belting out the words, no matter where you are? Literally any song I know. I work in theatre, we break out into song all the time. My current feel-good car karaoke song is "Don't Stop Me Know" by Queen. If I hear that song I won't just sing, I will full-on perform it.

heatherdubrow · May 2017

@KariAnn323 I'm so glad you had a good girls trip!

@msmeeseeks what a great idea to remember you me November baby in that way! I may have to steal your idea ❤️

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
MC at 8 weeks in April

Status:
Prepping for FET

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Good, feeling hopeful about this FET

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
My lining check is Monday so will know then when my embryo transfer date will be

GTKY: What song will make you start belting out the words, no matter where you are?
Piano man!

dpjennifer · May 2017

msmeeseeks Honestly, In general, I think the REIs are at the end of what they can try/test for me and at that point they just start telling people to lose weight cause at least then we feel we're doing something towards attempting to have a baby and because there's nothing else we can do. But the biopsy (rather than other tests taken at certain times of the month) give an overview of your progesterone and apparently this can change with your weight. And since our tests have come back fine when we talked to him, basically he thinks that if I lost this 20+ pounds that it would give me the same MC rate as if I had IVF. So, instead of wasting money on IVF we could just lose some weight and try again. (also, he has some delusion that if I lost the weight my 35-37 day cycle may magically go back to a 28 day cycle of being normal... but that's a pipe dream since my cycles have been odd since I first got AF when I was 50 pounds lighter than I am in HS.) But I wanted to lose some weight too (since I saw him a few weeks after my 4th MC and had put on a few pounds from depression eating), so I didn't fight it and having a few cycles benched is probably good for my mental health anyway.

petethecat · May 2017

@KariAnn323 I'm glad that you had fun on your girls weekend. I'm so jealous that you got to go antiquing and if your cool Pyrex finds!
I was just curious, regarding your LPD, were you diagnosed with that after your CP in March and were you on progesterone after O at that time, or not? Or did the diagnosis and progesterone come after? I know that your journey has been difficult and I'm sorry that you've been feeling discouraged about your ability to stay KU. I know that it can be hard to stay positive, but I think that you are right to put your faith in the extra testing that you will have when you do get KU again.

@dpjennifer Ugh- I think that everyone gained weight over the holiday weekend. Don't be too hard on yourself. It happens! All we did was hang out at the ILs and eat crap. Cookies, cupcakes, Mac and cheese, barbecue, hot dogs. Bleh. I'm ready for a detox for sure. Have you tried meal prepping? That's the best way for me to make sure I eat healthy- just one week at a time.

@msmeeseeks I love that you got a ring for your November baby.

I'm so glad that you found something to serve as a rememberance and also as soothing comfort for you.

@heatherdubrow I'm glad that you are feeling hopeful about your FET. FX that your check on Monday is all good! Also, I love Piano Man! JT is my jam!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
MC April 9th

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Things are going well. I'm struggling a bit with worrying about my short LP last cycle, but I'm adding B6 this cycle and trying to make some other healthy changes. I'm half thinking about loosely TTA for this cycle just to see what my LP does again, before going balls out TTGKU. It may just be short because things are still getting back to normal after my loss? I'm not sure if that's even a thing. I'm just nervous to really try if there's a problem that I'm not sure about yet.
Things going well- we've got our old neighbors coming to stay with us this weekend. I'm excited to grill out, drink, and chill with them.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
I've got my annual coming up in June with my new OB (since we've moved). My appointment is with the doctor that was on call and ordered all my bloodwork when I was having my MC. She was super nice and called me at home to check on me after the zero hcg came in. I'm nervous about it being a new practice, but I'm excited to get established as a patient out here.

GTKY: What song will make you start belting out the words, no matter where you are?
Really any 90's rap or R&B

catlady1215 · May 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. i posted the other day in last weeks TTCAL post without realizing. so i'm here now :-) back to back losses this fall winter. sept then december.

Status: was benched ever since. NTNP this month and hoping to move to TTC next cycle if my thyroid levels come back ok (finally) this week.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? i had a rough day the other day, thats why i decided i needed to start participating in the TTCAL thread. But i'm feeling alittle better today.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? just another thyroid follow up

GTKY: What song will make you start belting out the words, no matter where you are? i'm going to say most 90s/early 2000s music. it was the best back then. annnddd i have a slight obsession with otown so All or Nothing lol.

@kariann323 girls weekends are the best! i need to do them more often!

KariAnn323 · June 2017

@msmeeseeks With my CP I demanded to be seen for HCG and progesterone level tests as soon as I get the BFP. At this point that's my plan when I get my next BFP. I love your ring idea, I might have to steal it and do something similar.

@heatherdubrow I'm so excited for you!

@kbamomma33 So I was diagnosed after my CP. The NP diagnosed me just based on my progesterone levels though so I'm not sold on it. My LP is 13 days and I don't have an issue with spotting. FX the B6 helps your LP.

@catlady1215 FX your thyroid numbers are good.

icecubeinthedesert · June 2017

@kariann323, glad you had a great trip and it sounds like you have some really supportive friends!

@dpjennifer, I'm sorry it's frustrating to hear that news from your doc. I wonder if the weight loss idea is tied to the fact that fat cells can produce estrogens from androgens, and I think progesterone is produced from estrogen too. What doesn't make a lot of sense to me is why weight loss would then increase progesterone levels, but maybe it could trigger your ovaries to pick up the production instead, which could cause local progesterone concentrations to increase? Or maybe estrogen dominance could be disruptive to normal cycles? Just educated guesses as I haven't actually read the scientific literature on that.

@msmeeseeks, I love that you got the birthstone ring. I want to do this for each child I hopefully have someday, and considered it for my first loss as well. If only I wasn't so pessimistic about potentially having rings start stacking up on my fingers now..

@heatherdubrow, I'll be looking for your update on your appointment Monday. FX everything looks good! Sending you all the good vibes!

@kbamomma33, I'm guessing that your LP was wonky from the hormones. I haven't actually talked exact O dates after MC to know if mine changed, but it was definitely 2 or 3 days shorter my first cycle off BC. I can't remember, were you tracking it before to know if it was long enough?

@catlady1215, I'm so sorry you're joining us here, but we're here for you. Did you have a known thyroid issue before?

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MCs in Sept and March

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I've been pretty MIA around TB lately. My heart's just not into the daily posting lately. Things have been pretty rough for me the last few days. I can't seem to shake this bad mood, can't focus at work, and just generally don't feel like doing a damn thing. I don't think I've been directly dwelling on my losses, so I'm wondering if maybe the withdrawal from the progesterone last cycle and general hormone craziness continuing after my miscarriage has me depressed?

Any testing coming up/any recent results? nope

GTKY: I'll sing to almost anything. I am, after all, a former show choir gal. Lately I'm digging Despacito (either the original or Justin Bieber remix), even though I don't really understand all the lyrics, but it makes me want to get up and dance to it too. I'll take it given my mood this week. DH likes to change the lyrics to "burrito" and "taquito" though. Smh. Also anything by Amy Winehouse.

heatherdubrow · June 2017

@icecubeinthedesert I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I get not being into the dailies, I've pulled back as well. It's so hard and I'm sending you big creepy hugs!

catlady1215 · June 2017

@icecubeinthedesert I did. I had hypothyroidism and hashimotos diagnosed 2010/2011 after a random bloodtest for a work benefits reward thing. My levels were stable till the losses started in the fall though. The fact that it's taking this long to get 'normal' is one of the big reasons I dread another loss.

im sorry you're havin a rough time right now. Those days are never easy. I know I'm new here but I still say take as much time away from any boards/threads that you need. I've absolutely been there with other boards I'm on. Sending hugs.

captainfoxtrot · June 2017

Status: WTO, CD 10. I'm hoping to sneak in an attempt before I get my first period after this MC.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

a) Pregnancy tests & ovulation tests are still positive. Gonna start tracking my temps and CM as well.
b) My bleeding stopped, but then I had an orgasm and it started again (bright red).

Not sure what's going on there, so I'm gonna put myself on pelvic rest for awhile.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

I have an appointment with the midwives on Friday, who I am not happy with. I'm really just not pleased with the level of my care that led up to my MC (multiple occurrences of heavy bright red bleeding, and every time I asked about light physical activity/bed rest or asked if I should come in for a scan, I was told it was "probably fine" and wasn't necessary).

I have the appointment on Friday to get my blood tests done, but after that I plan on transferring my care to another clinic that was recommended to me.

GTKY: What song will make you start belting out the words, no matter where you are?
Pretty much most soundtracks or broadway shows! Recent ones: Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, Prince of Egypt

dpjennifer · June 2017

kbamomma33 DH and I are usually pretty good at planning what we’re going to eat, and I do well at exercise when I’m motivated. My issues come down to the weekends we’re away (or making too many exceptions on weekends we’re home) and the depression issues. Because when I’m a depression anxious mess from TTCAL or just being benched it’s like all the planning goes out the window and I just don’t give a crap. Blah. Good luck with working on having a longer LP.

catlady1215 You can also check out the TTCAL board. It’s full of fantastic and supportive ladies, so if you’re feeling rough or down you can always rant/rave/discuss there!

@icecubeinthedesert Yeah, apparently weight fluctuations and diet can change your body’s output of progesterone and estrogen. So he didn’t want to biopsy me and then turn around and biopsy me again. Because he also argued that if we go to IVF (which we’re not at this point), that we’d want to lose the 20+ pounds anyway to be in the best shape we can be in to have a successful cycle. Like I said, I wanted to lose the weight anyway, so I haven’t researched as much into it as I probably should have… It’s pretty much the last test I can do before trying again and if no dice then we’re probably going to be living childless. But, I spent 1.5 hours in the RE office where he kept pointing to the chart and telling me how fat I am… and the thought that he thinks there’s even a pipe dream of a chance that my cycle which has NEVER been normal will magically become normal by losing 20+ pounds makes me want to pummel him in the face. But, hey, I’m just a bitter hag. J Also, if the depression continues, please consider some therapy. It’s the best thing I’ve decided to do in the journey with my mood. (of course, the first therapist I saw was a total crank, so you may have to visit a few to find the right ‘fit’)

msmeeseeks · June 2017

@dpjennifer - Thanks for sharing info about progesterone biopsy. It sounds like your head is in a good place in regards to giving weight loss a try. I also put on a few pounds after MC from depression eating. I'm sure that's really common.

@heatherdubrow-

FX for your FET!

@kbamomma33 - Keep us posted on the B6! Your OB sounds really awesome and compassionate. I'm pretty obsessed with 90s rap! I have several coworkers (that are much younger than me) that respond to texts with "Coolio" and have no idea what I'm talking about when I respond "Put the flow back in ya ear."

@catlady1215 - FX for your thyroid levels!

@KariAnn323 - I want to have HCG and progesterone levels ASAP if/when I get a BFP again too. Otherwise I think my brain will explode.

@icecubeinthedesert -

I hope you do come up with a way to honor your losses. The rings I got (one with my birthstone and the other with November) are so small, they hardly take up any room at all. I'd like to get one with DH's birthstone and any future children as well, and that would still take up less space on my finger than my simple wedding band and engagement ring on my other hand. I feel like a few weeks ago in this thread we were talking about placing memorial stones in gardens? I can't remember who suggested that right now. I think that's a great idea too, but it would not work for me and DH because we can't keep a plant alive to save our lives. And that's DEFINITELY not the reminder we want! I'm sorry you are feeling depressed. Hormones really suck. FX that everything levels out and the depression clears up ASAP. *HUGS*

@captainfoxtrot - I'm glad you are switching clinics. Those people that you dealt with sound like they fucking suck.

TTCAL/ Benched AL Check-In Week of 5/29

Re: TTCAL/ Benched AL Check-In Week of 5/29

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