***TW***
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my experience, I am sorry it's so long. I want to let each of you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers so heavily. The heartbreak I've experienced in these last few weeks has been unbearable, that I cannot even fathom the pain of loss that each of you have endured.
Hi ladies, I am new to this board and hope it's okay to post here. I have two daughters, 20 months old and 5 months old. I am still breastfeeding my 5 month old, so AF had not returned yet, but she's been sleeping through the night for a couple months. A few weeks ago I just had a feeling I might be pregnant, so I began testing and got a faint positive FRER on Wed, May 10th. After being incredibly fortunte conceiving both my daughters very easily, and testing early with my last, the faint positive line confirmed my suspicions. I videoed sharing the news with husband, and we were over the moon and feeling so freaking blessed conceiving so soon after my last pregnancy. I tested again the next morning expecting to see a darker line, like in my previous pregnancies, but the line was even fainter. I probably took about 50 pregnancy tests over the next few days, some would show faint positives but mostly BFNs. We started to worry, but decided that on Mother's Day, the 14th, I would take 1 more test, and we would trust that result until I could get my bHCG test done on Monday. Sure enough we got a positive result, so we decided to embrace it and share the news with our parents since we would be seeing them for Mother's Day. I went first thing Monday to have my blood drawn, then went straight to the party store to buy numbers 1, 2, and 3 balloons for the reveal photo I had been dreaming of, and I kept checking for the results online to confirm the pregnancy. I took our beautiful reveal photo and shared the news with a few more close family members. Then Tuesday morning, my midwife called to let me know that my hcg was at 0, and I had experienced a chemical pregnancy. It was so hard to grasp, but we were completely devestated. By Wednesday, the 17th, I had not bled at all and didn't know what to expect since AF had not returned since before my last pregnancy. I really felt like maybe the test was wrong and I was pregnant until I passed the remains of my early pregnancy that evening. Being super confused, and realizing how ready we are to grow our family, I started using opks that weekend, and got positive opks Sunday-Monday, the 21st-22nd, which seemed very quick following the CP. Well this past Saturday morning, the 27th, I got another faint positive FRER, and stupidly got my hopes up again. By 7pm I got my first AF in a year and haven't gotten another BFP since. I am SO confused how all of this could have happened so fast, and I just really don't know what my body is doing!! I plan on continuing prenatals, tracking ovulation, possibly taking baby aspirin daily and giving it one more month before visiting my OB. Does anyone have similar experiences? I'm at a loss.
Re: ***TW*** 2 Chemical Pregnancies and AF within 3 Weeks??
Unless you had an issue with something needing baby aspirin, I wouldn't worry about it in this situation. I mean, to be honest, you've had 2 healthy children very easily from what you said. MC are VERY common, especially that early on. If you need some emotional time to heal, then you should probably just take a few cycles off, and then try again naturally as you had been doing. Until you have several losses, and previously having 2 live births and no problems, you shouldn't worry.
Why would you give it one more month before visiting your OB? Why are you visiting her/him?
Also, FYI on this board we don't use baby dust. It's considered insensitive and a trigger for those who have had to cremate their babies.
And, is it possible you could take the picture down? It really rubs me the wrong way. I know you were all excited about announcing... but as someone who's had 4 MC and never gotten to do any type of announcement it is REALLY really painful to see, and this board is not really the place for it.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
Ps I'm glad for you that you've had 2 healthy babies. But don't rub it in my face.
You were very fortunate to conceive so easily. From my experience, others and research, conceiving can take some time. I'm not sure you can have two cps in such a short time but that would be a question for your doctor.
I wouldnt panic if you dont get pregnant pregnant next month.
Please be sensitive to others request and remove the pic.
Some of us dont have any living children and have never had the opportunity to make such announcements. I, myself have not even had a good ultrasound.
I know these ladies are awesome and have helped me tremendously. However, we are a community that gives and takes. We will help you through this process.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
I am distraught I hurt any of you women. This part of the journey has been unexpected and confusing as you all know more than me. I reached out to my mother and grandmother throughout this time, and everyone has been very insensitive and did not understand the loss whatsoever or what I was feeling. When I updated my app to loss, I was directed to you all. I will consult my doctor, and bring my questions to him.
The first thing my husband and I felt after devastation was guilt because we already have children, so I again send my apologies for not being sensitive. We are just open to as many children as God blesses us with, and loss is something we never considered. Now that we have experienced loss, we have been hurting and praying for all of the woman who are enduring any walk of loss or infertility.
Thank you vlagrl29 dpjennifer Chawk17 SP128 for sharing your thoughts, and I am so sorry for the pain I caused.
please stay and we will help each other through this difficult journey. I hope that your stay with us will be short and sweet.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
It's definitely a big shock to have a MC because it's not something one ever thinks will happen to them, especially if you've had successful and easy pregnancies/births before.
Also, as you've now experienced a LOT of 'outsiders' have no clue the pain you are going through and can be very insensitive and hurtful. Heck, I've had 4 losses and my mother is an insensitive twat most of the time, even though she's trying to be 'helpful.'
I hope that you stick around, as this group of ladies is exceptionally helpful and knowledgeable. If you have any questions about your MC please feel free to ask.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
dpjennifer I am deeply sorry for your losses and that your mom does not offer the support you deserve. Thank you for taking the time to share your knowledge!
SP128 vlagrl29 thank you for helping me understand how the board works and welcoming me!
I have never shared before, but I did not include some details that might better explain my concern or confusion. After my first pregnancy, even months out, BD was physically impossible and just attempting anything was excruciating. I finally sought the opinion of my OBGYN and was diagnosed with uterine prolapse and rectocele. After a couple months of pelvic floor therapy, a colonoscopy, and weaning my 6 month old to take medication, the condition was worse. My doc scheduled me for surgery to correct the prolapse with the hope of maybe one more pregnancy to follow, then a hysterectomy to permanently relieve symptoms. A month before my surgery, I traveled to a specialist for a second opinion and was diagnosed with vulvar vestibulitis, and he saw no prolapse or rectocele. He treated me with suppositories and oral medication and explained that from breastfeeding, my estrogen levels became so low, that I was in a menopausal state and everything had atrophied. Surgery was cancelled, and once my symptoms subsided, we were able to conceive. With that second pregnancy, preterm labor threatened the whole time, and my daughter was born 5 weeks premature and had a quick nicu stay. My midwives told me that with the next pregnancy I will need a cerclage and progesterone, so I guess my concern is that something hormonal may be off already. But as I am typing this, I realize that these questions should definitely be brought to my dr. I am just reluctant to trust a doctor this time around. I tried to ask my midwives about what might going on, but they brushed it off. So I turned here.
More than anything, after months of thinking I was completely broken after my first pregnancy, and now going through this, I am definitely frustrated. But my husband and I feel like we experienced miracles that brought us to the correct diagnosis last year. We will always remember the dark time that we thought all hope was lost. For that, I feel so stupid to have forgotten how tough it can be to see other growing families, not knowing when your time will come. I know my experience is truly "small potatoes" compared to the crosses many women bear. I would like to contribute to the other women on this board and offer my support in any way. What is the best way to do this?
TIA
Your body is probably all kinds of messed up right now after the 2nd kid and recent pregnancy. Just be patient and kind to yourself and your body.
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
TTC: 3/23/2013, BFP: 2/28/2014, EDD: 11/6/2014, ADD: 11/7/2014
TTC: 2/1/2016, BFP: 3/4/2017, EDD: 11/11/2017, No HB @ 8 weeks, MC: 4/8/2017
TTC: 5/24/2017, BFP: 4/14/2018, EDD: 12/22/2018
It's almost impossible to trust a doctor with something so personal when you've already gotten varied opinions about it. It just sucks not knowing what's going on with your body. I hope they can figure things out. Maybe try a 3rd opinion?
Hopefully they can figure it out and you can get your rainbow baby soon.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1