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Coping- recent miscarriage and company visiting. Help! tell me I'm not crazy

smitty18smitty18 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
hi ladies. 


I need some hugs badly.  

All miscarriages are traumatic, but this is especially emotionally terrible because we've been TTc for over 4 years and have given myself hundreds of injections and had my blood drawn it feels like 1000000 times.  This was our first pregnancy and what I thought a miracle baby. 


My mmc wqs was identified on Friday when I was 8 weeks 2 days. Dr said baby measured at 7wks 6 days. There was no blood flow in baby or heartbeat. My breath got sucked out of my chest. 


My Dr tried to talk me into waiting and naturally passing. I flat out refused. My D and C is Monday first thing   


We actually have friends in town while this is all going on. The female friend is quite frankly being a B to me - she actually said this,( after I had to come home early from trying to continue to entertain our guests through tears and feeling miserable). I'm not mad at YOu. I'm mad at the situation.    Excuse me? WTF. 


I am apologizing for this happening during their visit and trying to explain I'm doing the best I can. But I'm pissed. dH agreed the commentary was out of line. But he's also processing this differently.  I feel absolutely alone right now in this heartbreak and I've been made to feel as if I'm ruining a "friend's" vacation. 

I know that unless youve you've gone through a mmc yourself it might not seem that it should be as awful as it is, but come on. I just needed a hug and for a "friend" to say- of course I don't mind heading home a little early. You're going through something very difficult. 

Am I crazy? 
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Re: Coping- recent miscarriage and company visiting. Help! tell me I'm not crazy

  • jchpgjchpg member
    @smitty18 *HUG* a million times! I am so sorry you are going through this. You ARE NOT CRAZY and absolutely are justified on being upset and sad. I am so sorry for your loss. I've recently gone through my first pregnancy and first loss with similar timing. I had not undergone fertility treatments and we were only a few months into trying ... so can't can't even imagine how hard this was for you. 

    I am am so sorry you are in a situation where you do not feel like you can properly grieve and have a friend that is not getting it. I dont care who you are but that is just uncalled for. I am so sorry you are dealing with this situation and I hope you can find some friends here and maybe over on TTCAL. It's a great supportive group of strong women where I have found a lot of comfort. 

    hugs. 
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  • splashmountainsplashmountain member
    Sorry for your loss @smitty18 I think people who've never gone through a loss just don't get it, but no matter what, they should be kind and understanding. Ignore that B and take care of yourself. Many many hugs your way.
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  • mrnmrsdawsonmrnmrsdawson member
    Lots of HUGS!!! I am so sorry you are experiencing this I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I'm sorry your friends couldn't be more understanding but unless they have gon through something like this they will never be able to be fully supportive. I think it's because for those of us who mc in the 1st tri before we even start to show, unfortunately for many of our friends and even some loved ones the pregnancy doesn't seem real to they so it's that much harder for the to process something they can't physically see. Be patience with them but by all means you have every right to feel the way you do. Again sending lots of HUGS and baby dust your way....
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