I think it's tacky/rude to talk about numbers in a variety of situations. Income, bonuses, weight, how much you paid for your house/car/anything, grades, test scores....
Totally fine to be like "I got a raise!" or "I lost weight!" or "we got a great deal!" but I cringe if you tell me actual numbers.
I don't completely understand the process, but I think Beachbody "Coaches" are stupid. My sister must have started the different programs maybe around xmas, and suddenly she is an expert?? I also assume it's some type of pyramid scheme - my sister seems to love those.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
I hate most superhero movies. Actually I hate most movies in general. Anything that is a remake/sequel/superhero related, which seems to be all movies these days. I wanted to go to the movies with DH last night, and literally every movie playing at our local theater was a sequel or remake.
Me: 31 DH: 31 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 CP 3/2019
@SpongeWorthy I completely agree. Nothing seems to be original these days, and all the sequels are just too much! It's an area where DH and I are very different. He loves going to the movies and I really don't like it. I don't get a lot of alone time with DH and when I do, I don't want to have to keep quiet and not talk to him! Every now and then, a movie will seem worth it, but they are few and far between.
@GlitterFish It's a MLM company. I hate every single one of those. They're all pyramid schemes in my book. Beach body and Isogenix piss me off the most though because those reps with message you without any prompting. Before I announced my pregnancy, my cousin (who's a BB "coach") thought it was a good idea to check in since I was "gaining weight." They're not nutritionists or personal trainers. They're every day people who think they can adequately coach you on healthy living. It's honestly dangerous IMO.
@MamaRN13 - same here. H looooves movies and I'm not a big fan. He especially loves superheroes and sci-fi and most of those bore me to tears. I can handle most superheroes but I'm so sick of the same movies over and over. There's always a new Spider-Man/Xmen/whatever.
Speaking of movies, I am actually looking forward to seeing Baywatch because I think it's going to be really funny. Sign me up for any comedy with The Rock and/or Zac Efron and/or Kevin Hart. That would probably be my UO, my terrible taste in movies.
@GlitterFish completely agree. Beach body coaches should be renamed cheerleaders. A coach implies that you have knowledge and experience that can guide someone else. There's no way that doing fitness DVDs and drinking shakes has given you any knowledge or experience on nutrition or exercise training.
@AdaByron I couldn't agree more. I was always taught to never discuss religion, money, or politics with anyone so I cringe every time someone does. And DH was not raised the same way so his parents have always told him how much they make a year and everything and i think it's awful. He says it made him popular in school because "other kids knew he was rich" literally the person I would have despised in school.
@SpongeWorthy +1 for hating superhero movies. I think they're so boring and I fall asleep during 90% of movies anyways.
Since we're coming up on all the baby showers: I hate diaper cakes.
I realize this makes me sound like an ungrateful brat because someone was nice enough to buy a gift for me but I don't want my diapers opened, rolled up and stacked into cake form. Just give me a box of diapers.
@LuLiLaEv YES!!!! We got one for our sprinkle and I was like wtf am I supposed to do with this now. Only positive? There was a massive bottle of wine in the middle. And each diaper was wrapped with a girls rubber hair band that was so hard to get off I ended up cutting them anyways.
My UO: if you're going to send a thank you card that is a printed out "Thank you for coming to my party. I had a great time because you were there! Love, kids name" why even bother. I'd almost rather you not send anything than send something that impersonal.
I hate diaper cakes too. And everyone always makes a huge deal about them at the showers while I'm sitting there thinking what a waste of time. For the creator and for the mom to take the stupid thing apart.
My UO based on the GTKY.... I dislike Game of Thrones.
+1 to diaper cakes!!! It's a gift that I have to waste time unrollinging and finding a box for!
MIL made a diaper cake for my shower (but wouldn't do the wine bottle @nktrodden826 bc she thinks you can't drink while breastfeeding... but thinks it's fine while pregnant). She also made a diaper wreath that is cute as a decoration but she expects me to hang it on the nursery wall (not happening - it's tacky looking).
She told me she has a ton more rolled up diapers at home she is undoing bc she initially planned on making a diaper PALM TREE for the shower (the shower she was just a guest at BTW so bringing decorations is rude!).
I feel like I need to eta that I appreciate the thought and effort behind the diaper cake/wreath, but I just think they're silly.
@ginger1228 According to my breastfeeding class instructor, you can eat and drink whatever you want while breastfeeding - wine included (she did say probably just one glass at a time though)! (Unless of course your baby has an actual sensitivity/allergy, but sometimes what we think is a sensitivity is just caused by a bad latch and associated symptoms.)
@ginger1228 According to my breastfeeding class instructor, you can eat and drink whatever you want while breastfeeding - wine included (she did say probably just one glass at a time though)! (Unless of course your baby has an actual sensitivity/allergy, but sometimes what we think is a sensitivity is just caused by a bad latch and associated symptoms.)
My LC at my BF class (which was fairly crunchy) said that there should be no alcohol for MONTHS if not FOREVER while BF. At which point everyone in the room laughed. My friend who came w me (also pregs) yelled BULLLLSHITTTTT right out loud.
I will be light drinking as needed and then if I need to really drink, I will have pumped milk for that time. No tears will be cried for any milk I have to pump and dump Bc I'm drunk and my boobies are about to explode.
If you can drive you can feed. I repeat... IF YOU CAN DRIVE YOU CAN FEED. That's probably a conservative rule even. Don't get completely shitfaced and nurse your baby. But if you want a glass of wine, drink it.
@Potterphile My LC said the same thing, no alcohol for at least 6 months and after that very sparingly if at all. I was sad b/c I was excited for all the pumpkin and christmas beers I missed last year.
If you can drive you can feed. I repeat... IF YOU CAN DRIVE YOU CAN FEED. That's probably a conservative rule even. Don't get completely shitfaced and nurse your baby. But if you want a glass of wine, drink it.
If you can drive you can feed. I repeat... IF YOU CAN DRIVE YOU CAN FEED. That's probably a conservative rule even. Don't get completely shitfaced and nurse your baby. But if you want a glass of wine, drink it.
This, and also, there are VERY VERY VERY (etc.) few times where "pump and dunp" is an actual necessity. I did it ONCE, after an all day wine tour. Normally, even if you get trashed, you can wait to nurse or pump once you are sober again (as long as you're not uncomfortable).
^^ This is actually good to know. I'm not usually a drinker but MIL makes a lot of sangria in the summer and they have a pool, so I was looking forward to spending some time out there with some sangria, but worried about "pumping and dumping". I guess I'm a little naive in the breastfeeding department. But it's nice to know one glass is harmless!
I haven't really missed wine during this pregnancy since I haven't been much of a drinker in recent years, but I have a feeling I will be drawn to it much more than before once the sleep deprivation/stress kicks in, so it's good to hear from STMs about this. It's also interesting that some folks say "no wine" - amazing how the info we get can vary so much even in a formal class setting. I'll go with what my instructor said on this one though
I love movies! Don't care what movie it is, I love going to the movies and getting popcorn and a soda (and maybe some candy to dump in my popcorn). Ever since DS came (5 years ago!), we barely go because of time, but I love it.
I agree with the drinking/breastfeeding. There are very few times with DS that I had to pump and dump. I would feed him before I drank and then by the time he was ready to eat again, I was good to go.
I don't mind diaper cakes. I had somebody make me a diaper motorcycle for my DS. It had blankets, bibs, bottles, stuffed bear (riding the motorcycle of course), and socks on it. So it wasn't just diapers and the other stuff came in handy. I have made diaper cakes several times, but I make sure it's not just diapers. I usually do receiving blankets/bibs as well so there is other useful stuff.
I can't think of an UO right now, but wanted to chime in on the other stuff!
+1 to diaper cakes.....such a waste of time and I really don't want rolled up diapers.
My UO is that I don't see the appeal of having anyone in the delivery room besides DH. Not my mother, MIL, siblings, aunts, friends, whatever. I rather streak through the hospital hallways naked.
Married 8 years - Aug 23/08 DD - 6 years old, March 17/11 #2 due July 19th! (It's a boy!)
Re: alcohol. I found I didn't really want to drink much in those early months anyway because BF made me super hungry/thirsty all the time, and it was summer and I preferred to drink water or something more satisfying and thirst quenching. Also because of the sleep deprivation, drinking would just make me more sleepy. So for me it was really not much of an issue. But I like to order a drink when we go out to eat, and I absolutely would not hesitate to do that.
For me it was really just a couple of special occasions that I had to kind of monitor myself and think about whether I should feed or not. And on those occasions we already had a babysitter and bottles prepared and everything. There was only one time that we stayed out really late and I pumped and dumped just a little bit when we got home because I was uncomfortable. You don't have to empty your breasts in that situation. As the alcohol works out of your system, it also leaves your milk.
My LC said drinking while breastfeeding is fine (as long as it's like, a drink, and not 5) and that there's no need to pump and dump, but try to time it so that feeding is at least an hour after the drink.
That passes the common sense test and she knows what she's talking about, so I will choose to follow her advice
My LC said drinking while breastfeeding is fine (as long as it's like, a drink, and not 5) and that there's no need to pump and dump, but try to time it so that feeding is at least an hour after the drink.
That passes the common sense test and she knows what she's talking about, so I will choose to follow her advice
Am I the only person not ever just having one drink? I can't think of a time I had less than 2 and even that's like home alone after work on a Tuesday before my husband gets home and asks if I'm drunk. If we're going out to dinner I'm probably having 1-2 drinks before we get there, 2 drinks there and maybe one when I'm unwinding (from the stressful dinner, duh) when we get home. We regularly sit out by the fire pit in the backyard and drink and drink, just the two (now three!?!?) of us. We don't blackout (often), but we certainly get drunk.
UO: I just fail to see anything scandalous about a relative mentioning on FB that they are expecting a new family member soon. If it was first trimester and the parents to be hadn't told everyone yet, that's different. But at this point in our pregnancies, it's no secret. It would never even cross my mind not to mention a pregnancy on FB if it's public enough that I'm going to your baby shower this weekend. I would be completely baffled if someone got mad at me for it.
My LC said drinking while breastfeeding is fine (as long as it's like, a drink, and not 5) and that there's no need to pump and dump, but try to time it so that feeding is at least an hour after the drink.
That passes the common sense test and she knows what she's talking about, so I will choose to follow her advice
Am I the only person not ever just having one drink? I can't think of a time I had less than 2 and even that's like home alone after work on a Tuesday before my husband gets home and asks if I'm drunk. If we're going out to dinner I'm probably having 1-2 drinks before we get there, 2 drinks there and maybe one when I'm unwinding (from the stressful dinner, duh) when we get home. We regularly sit out by the fire pit in the backyard and drink and drink, just the two (now three!?!?) of us. We don't blackout (often), but we certainly get drunk.
Nonetheless the P&D tips have been helpful.
That was my lifestyle once upon a time, too. After DS, I didn't want alcohol as much, because nursing makes you hungry and thirsty for real stuff. If I did overdo it, I would just use stored milk, and then wait until in was 100% sober before pumping or nursing.
I was lucky enough that I was rarely so uncomfortable that I had to pump and dump. I remember being under a lot of stress in the beginning, and understanding that the alcohol in my breast milk did more or less the same thing as that in my bloodstream...it just fades out over time...made me relax a lot more.
I've never wanted to drink this much ... ever!!! I have a new appreciation for alcohol. Im sitting here daydreaming about a sushi and saki dinner where the time just stops
@AdaByron Eh, I think it's just about respecting someone's stated wishes. If they haven't said anything to you about it then of course you wouldn't think that you shouldn't post anything on social media and in that situation it would probably be fine. What's the problem is when you tell people that you don't want that to happen and then they do it anyways. I guess I'm kind of thinking of it like if someone asked you to babysit their four-year-old and they didn't give you any dietary restrictions or specifications and you fed them chicken nuggets for dinner. It seems like something that would be completely fine but if they specifically told you in advance that the kid wasn't allowed to have chicken nuggets and you gave it to them anyways, that would be disrespectful. I totally get that posting to social media is the default position (like giving chicken nuggets to a child, at least in my mind) so I think if you want something other than that, you need to make your preferences known. I don't post much on Facebook and I have a lot of miscellaneous peripheral type friends (and family for that matter) on there. I didn't want my pregnancy to be the topic of conversations between a bunch of people I don't really know. Just my preference. So we asked people to keep it to themselves - of course anyone who SAW me would know I was pregnant but the percentage of people on my social media who actually see me is less than 5%. Some people just don't like to have as much info posted on social media... different strokes.
+1 on talking about numbers being tacky, diaper cakes being a pain, and not needing to abstain from drinking while BF.
I cannot wait to have a glass of wine or a beer here and there. It will be so nice. This school year has been rough without the relaxing act of sitting and having a drink. I know I will be too paranoid to have much to drink without pumping and dumping, but I will definitely be at Wine in the Woods next May. The last year I went, my buzzkill acquaintance wanted to leave after a few tastings and I am still pissed about that. I am going to drink all the wine next year!
*snip* I don't post much on Facebook and I have a lot of miscellaneous peripheral type friends (and family for that matter) on there. I didn't want my pregnancy to be the topic of conversations between a bunch of people I don't really know. Just my preference. *snip*
Wouldn't this be a reason to not ever post anything about yourself on social media? I just can't imagine why someone I barely know on social media would be having a conversation about me with other people I barely know. I think it's sort of a "spotlight effect" situation. In general, I think even though this pregnancy is all-consuming in my life, nobody else really gives a shit. People have babies all the time. It's really not that big of a deal. And also, people read all kinds of things about everyone they know on social media, and sometimes they talk about it, and sometimes they keep scrolling and don't care. I don't see how being pregnant is some huge deal that needs to be treated differently than any other social media update.
My UO: I don't want anyone posting pictures of my daughter on social media. I am mostly worried about my MIL doing it, because my siblings and parents don't post pictures of my nieces and nephews. I think it is strange seeing pictures and posts from friends of friends I don't know. My FB is very private, and I am only friends with people I have talked to in the last 5 years or so. My MIL is friends with a lot of people, and I don't feel comfortable grilling her on her privacy settings...but I will have to have a conversation about how I don't want her posting any pictures. I already feel like she treats DH's life events as her own way too much, and I can just see it becoming an issue. She was chomping at the bit to tell everyone about the pregnancy, and I was at a higher risk of losing the baby because of my PCOS! Of course DH doesn't care at all, so I am on my own on this issue .
The only rule I've made about posting pics on fb is no nude or semi nude pics. I know people say that it's sexualizing children blah blah blah, but I'M not sexualizing them - I'm worried other people are. I am very cautious about stuff due to my social work background plus I have a family member who I never would have suspected was arrested for child porn - so you just never know who's looking at what. I don't want to have to worry about someone getting off to naked pics of my child. I really don't want anyone else posting pics period, but I know that's just not realistic, so I'm just going to control what I can. I might ask grandparents (who will be posting the most) to change their privacy settings.
+1 on the not giving a crap what other people post on their FB accounts, except the nakedness. My family is all pretty low-key with who they friends and what they post in general because I'm a teacher, MIL is a drug/alcohol counselor, a large number of my family members (and DH's) are/were in corrections, and the rest are just paranoid...so they're all cautious anyway. I also am only friends with people I either see IRL or wished I saw more, and have my privacy settings pretty high. This may be a part of why I'm more chill about it. I could understand people who are friends with random people they're not still in touch with, and having AW family members being more cautious, though. I do see your point about the chicken nuggets thing, though, @Potterphile
My UO: I really really really don't like chick flicks. I mean, there are a few that I can tolerate, mainly because my mom likes them and made me watch them growing up, so they're nostalgic, but otherwise, they're a hard NO for me. Superhero, action, fantasy or whatnot, and I'm game.
@AdaByron- To some extent, yes. I post almost nothing on my Instagram (20 pictures in two years?) and I don't post much on Facebook either. Most of the stuff that goes on there tends to be pictures of food or pictures from trips we have taken where we met up with friends or something so they're all like the group pictures and weddings we've been to. My pregnancy just feels a bit more personal to me than some of the things I normally post about. Posting something feels like an invitation for people to analyze it and if I have the choice I would decide that I would prefer if they didn't do that ... and since I had the choice about posting to social media or not, that's the choice I made.
I don't judge people who do post about it for making the decision to post. But if I can control a little bit of the information that goes out there about my child, including my pregnancy, that feels right to me.
ETA: in my situation, the thing that we were trying to prevent was somebody else breaking the news of our pregnancy on Facebook before we did. Granted we didn't do that until 5 to 6 month but we thought that they should respect our wishes for us to be the first people to post about it on social media WHEN we chose to. I know obviously people will post about it now.
I 100% agree on no nude/semi-nude pictures being posted online, by anyone. I'll probably *want* full control of any pictures that are posted, but at the same time, I posted two pictures of my niece (at 8 months) without getting approval from my brother/SIL, so I can't expect well-meaning friends/family to run everything by me.
My LC said drinking while breastfeeding is fine (as long as it's like, a drink, and not 5) and that there's no need to pump and dump, but try to time it so that feeding is at least an hour after the drink.
That passes the common sense test and she knows what she's talking about, so I will choose to follow her advice
Am I the only person not ever just having one drink? I can't think of a time I had less than 2 and even that's like home alone after work on a Tuesday before my husband gets home and asks if I'm drunk. If we're going out to dinner I'm probably having 1-2 drinks before we get there, 2 drinks there and maybe one when I'm unwinding (from the stressful dinner, duh) when we get home. We regularly sit out by the fire pit in the backyard and drink and drink, just the two (now three!?!?) of us. We don't blackout (often), but we certainly get drunk.
Nonetheless the P&D tips have been helpful.
@Potterphile I'm the same way. I blame our profession.
AdaByron
member
Re: UO Thursday
Totally fine to be like "I got a raise!" or "I lost weight!" or "we got a great deal!" but I cringe if you tell me actual numbers.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
CP 3/2019
@GlitterFish completely agree. Beach body coaches should be renamed cheerleaders. A coach implies that you have knowledge and experience that can guide someone else. There's no way that doing fitness DVDs and drinking shakes has given you any knowledge or experience on nutrition or exercise training.
@SpongeWorthy +1 for hating superhero movies. I think they're so boring and I fall asleep during 90% of movies anyways.
I realize this makes me sound like an ungrateful brat because someone was nice enough to buy a gift for me but I don't want my diapers opened, rolled up and stacked into cake form. Just give me a box of diapers.
My UO: if you're going to send a thank you card that is a printed out "Thank you for coming to my party. I had a great time because you were there! Love, kids name" why even bother. I'd almost rather you not send anything than send something that impersonal.
My UO based on the GTKY.... I dislike Game of Thrones.
MIL made a diaper cake for my shower (but wouldn't do the wine bottle @nktrodden826 bc she thinks you can't drink while breastfeeding... but thinks it's fine while pregnant). She also made a diaper wreath that is cute as a decoration but she expects me to hang it on the nursery wall (not happening - it's tacky looking).
She told me she has a ton more rolled up diapers at home she is undoing bc she initially planned on making a diaper PALM TREE for the shower (the shower she was just a guest at BTW so bringing decorations is rude!).
I feel like I need to eta that I appreciate the thought and effort behind the diaper cake/wreath, but I just think they're silly.
I will be light drinking as needed and then if I need to really drink, I will have pumped milk for that time. No tears will be cried for any milk I have to pump and dump Bc I'm drunk and my boobies are about to explode.
I agree with the drinking/breastfeeding. There are very few times with DS that I had to pump and dump. I would feed him before I drank and then by the time he was ready to eat again, I was good to go.
I don't mind diaper cakes. I had somebody make me a diaper motorcycle for my DS. It had blankets, bibs, bottles, stuffed bear (riding the motorcycle of course), and socks on it. So it wasn't just diapers and the other stuff came in handy. I have made diaper cakes several times, but I make sure it's not just diapers. I usually do receiving blankets/bibs as well so there is other useful stuff.
I can't think of an UO right now, but wanted to chime in on the other stuff!
Married 8 years - Aug 23/08
DD - 6 years old, March 17/11
#2 due July 19th! (It's a boy!)
For me it was really just a couple of special occasions that I had to kind of monitor myself and think about whether I should feed or not. And on those occasions we already had a babysitter and bottles prepared and everything. There was only one time that we stayed out really late and I pumped and dumped just a little bit when we got home because I was uncomfortable. You don't have to empty your breasts in that situation. As the alcohol works out of your system, it also leaves your milk.
That passes the common sense test and she knows what she's talking about, so I will choose to follow her advice
https://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/lifestyle/alcohol/
Nonetheless the P&D tips have been helpful.
I was lucky enough that I was rarely so uncomfortable that I had to pump and dump. I remember being under a lot of stress in the beginning, and understanding that the alcohol in my breast milk did more or less the same thing as that in my bloodstream...it just fades out over time...made me relax a lot more.
Re: discussing finances
Im sitting here daydreaming about a sushi and saki dinner where the time just stops
I cannot wait to have a glass of wine or a beer here and there. It will be so nice. This school year has been rough without the relaxing act of sitting and having a drink. I know I will be too paranoid to have much to drink without pumping and dumping, but I will definitely be at Wine in the Woods next May. The last year I went, my buzzkill acquaintance wanted to leave after a few tastings and I am still pissed about that. I am going to drink all the wine next year!
My UO: I really really really don't like chick flicks. I mean, there are a few that I can tolerate, mainly because my mom likes them and made me watch them growing up, so they're nostalgic, but otherwise, they're a hard NO for me. Superhero, action, fantasy or whatnot, and I'm game.
I don't judge people who do post about it for making the decision to post. But if I can control a little bit of the information that goes out there about my child, including my pregnancy, that feels right to me.
ETA: in my situation, the thing that we were trying to prevent was somebody else breaking the news of our pregnancy on Facebook before we did. Granted we didn't do that until 5 to 6 month but we thought that they should respect our wishes for us to be the first people to post about it on social media WHEN we chose to. I know obviously people will post about it now.
@ginger1228 couldn't agree more.