@CPR79 - You could have a guest book and leave the sign with that? I'm not sure if people usually do guest books or not but seems like a good place to put a sign like that. Some baby books have a place to list shower guests - that could be the guest book.
Today started off okay but I'm starting to feel like crap. My back hurts and I'm exhausted. I'm having twizzlers for lunch. I went to the grocery during my lunch hour and it wore me out. I passed the twizzlers and couldn't resist.
@CPR79 No experience with this, but I have a suggestion. Maybe at every seat you could put a small card that says something like "Help us keep the secret! We've been keeping the news of our LO off social media until they arrive, but we need your help to keep it up! Please don't post anything about the shower so we can have our big reveal when baby is born!". Or something like that. Make it more about them helping you out and being in on the secret than having to stick to a rule, and they'll be more willing to do it.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@CPR79 definitely change your permissions on social media so that people can't tag you or post things to your timeline (and therefore be posted on your friends' news feeds). As far as telling people, we just told them. You can put up a nice note at the front or you can make a short little announcement when you do your thank you speech... just let it be known. Also, you'll obviously see people who are taking pictures especially if they're asking you to pose for pictures so little reminders there don't hurt either. There are people who will respect your wishes and there are people who will not understand or respect them. For those people, there's nothing you can do.
@PurplePumpernickel My mom was Laura Ashley obsessed and all of my bedding/room decor came from them until I was about 12, haha.
@CPR79 Agree with above! Change you settings for sure and maybe even make a verbal announcement at the shower when everyone is there. You can absolutely say it in a kind way so that no one gets bent out of shape and if they get bent out of shape anyway... tough stuff, it's your kid and your news to share when you're ready!
... wait. Are thank you speeches a thing at showers? Asking for a friend.
I don't think it needs to be fancy and drawn out but when I had one for my first pregnancy, as soon as I was done opening gifts I just thanked everyone so much for coming and said I was so excited that this baby was already so loved, something like that. I think I also brought flowers for the hosts, nothing huge.
... wait. Are thank you speeches a thing at showers? Asking for a friend.
Hahaha tell your friend that I think it's just a general thank you once you're done opening gifts. I thanked each person as I opened their gift and then just said thanks again at the end. I didn't give an Oscar Acceptance thank you speech.
@PurplePumpernickel what they said. After the last gift I just said a general 'thank you all so much for coming and for the generous gifts. This baby is so loved already'. Nothing crazy.
@PurplePumpernickel According to MIL its traditional for the father to come at the very end, and for us to thank everyone together, and this is what we did. It was just "thanks for coming and all the help getting ready for baby he's already so loved" and end.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@nktrodden826 I did! It was also a combination birthday/primary baby sitter gift, but it was my MIL and I gave her a grandma starter kit
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Oh cute idea, @kerils! My best friend and my mom hosted my sprinkle and my mom said Jess did 95% of the work and spent all the money while my mom handled the paper stuff (invitations, rsvps, food labels, ordering the cake, etc) and my mom doesn't need a gift but I feel like my friend does. She's currently TTC her second baby so if it's a different gender I'll definitely be throwing her a sprinkle too but I don't want to wait a potentially a year to repay her!
@nktrodden826 With my first I gave my friend who hosted a gift cert to a massage place. She hosted it alone and put a ton of time/money into it so I spent a little more on the thank you than I might have otherwise.
@satsumasandlemons I just found the Janie and Jack sale section and it's exactly what I was looking for. They have the same outfits from 3-6 months up through 12 and all the sizes show up when you view each item. The clothes aren't inexpensive but with the sale and for a gift I'm definitely going this route.
And I looked up Laura Ashley-- very limited selection and sizes, but "she's" still around.
@nktrodden826 I also did thank you gifts for the three friends who planned our shower. We helped plan one of their baby showers last year and she gave us gift bags with a treat (beer, cold brew coffee, etc.), a Starbucks gift card and a card. We did the same thing but with small candles we found at Target with really nice scents like tomato blossom.
@CPR79 FWIW, the sign you wanted to put up sounds totally reasonable to me. But I agree about changing the settings on FB because from my experience, people don't always catch signs and notes.
I firmly believe you can't control what other people put on social media, and you're just causing yourselves headaches to try. You can change your settings so that nothing shows up on your own page, but you can't tell people they're not allowed to share their own experiences on their own social media.
You CAN however hate them for doing so. That's the tact I've taken and my ire is usually pretty legit so I've had moderate/good success?
Ha, I agree! I understand that my MIL wants to post things b/c she's excited about being a Grandma, but when YOUR experiences are a direct result of things going on in MY body, I reserve the right to resent you for it. My MIL confirmed (in the comments of a post of a picture of her cousin's baby that several people (who obviously don't know her very well) assumed it was her grandkid) that she was expecting a grand kid in july, and went so far as to say which of her children it was that was expecting. I've been monitoring the post since then to see if she says anything else and my husband thinks I'm crazy (this coming from a man who makes a big purchase and then for weeks looks to see if he could've gotten a better deal elsewhere, but i digress).
My H and I both changed our settings months ago so no one could post anything on our walls directly, so I have that covered. I know if I hate social medial sharing this much I should just delete my FB, but then I wouldn't have a way to check if other people are sharing my business, it's a sickness!
My MIL confirmed (in the comments of a post of a picture of her cousin's baby that several people (who obviously don't know her very well) assumed it was her grandkid) that she was expecting a grand kid in july, and went so far as to say which of her children it was that was expecting.
My mother in law did almost this exact thing. Offered up our (then) unannounced pregnancy to the fb masses on an unrelated photo post. "Potterphile and DH are expecting in July too!!" on a pic of my SILs baby shower. I told my husband to make her delete it and tell her it was inappropriate. Done and done. And also illuminating for my husband who believed us to be VERY clear in telling people we didn't want it on FB. At some point absentminded becomes deliberate defiance. And well before that I stop sharing information. We won't be telling anyone when I go into labor for that reason. Fool me once shame on... you? Fool me twice... shame on... you can't be fooled again!
I'd actually be interested in hearing about thank you gifts for shower hosts. I've held off because my mom, MIL, and sister have tag-teamed both of mine, the second of which is this weekend. For my bridal shower, I gave my mom and my MIL each a flowering plant, and my sister got a special maid of honor gift right before the wedding. What was in the "grandmother starter kits"?
@PurplePumpernickel I gave my MIL a grandma bib, a grandma book to read to LO, a decorative sign about being a grandma, diapers, wipes, and a changing pad.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Related to thank you gifts, should I give something to MIL and my mom after birth? They are going to be helping out, and MIL is spending her whole 1 week vacation this year staying here with me right after the baby is born. I was thinking I might judge it on just how capable I am (aka how much they end up helping) but idk if it's normal to get gifts. DH is going back to work immediately, so especially MIL will probably be doing a lot.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Related to thank you gifts, should I give something to MIL and my mom after birth? They are going to be helping out, and MIL is spending her whole 1 week vacation this year staying here with me right after the baby is born. I was thinking I might judge it on just how capable I am (aka how much they end up helping) but idk if it's normal to get gifts. DH is going back to work immediately, so especially MIL will probably be doing a lot.
I mean its a nice thing to do I suppose, but I think we are trending toward an unhealthy obsession with gift giving. Perhaps that's an UO, but I think all of this exchanging of goods is just silly.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
@kerils I agree with @GlitterFish. I think your moms are just wanting to help and a thank you gift isn't necessary in this particular situation.
I also think there's this obsession with thank you gifts - when does it end? We played secret pal at work and at the end of the year, some people gave their pal a thank you gift. So basically a thank you gift for giving you a gift. Stop the madness!!!!
If anything, give them a cute pic of baby in a frame.
In response to the social media discussion, I don't mind close family/friends sharing some pics. In general, I am very private and just hope for others to respect that. FB does not know that I am quitting my job soon, got accepted to grad school, or that DH"s grandma recently had a heart attack. Most of the baby pics that I share are only visible to family. I have lots of out of state family. That said, DH's grandma and Aunt announced the pregnancy, sex, and name on my wall! Last time my mom announced our pregnancy on her wall. It was all absent mindes, bur like others mentioned, they are friends with lots of mutual acquaintances that I am not and would not have shared the info with yet.
I like diaper cakes. My family believes that all decorations should be saved and cherished. This is a nice decoration that clearly has an expiration date.
@GlitterFish yeah the gift giving is out of control. I can't keep up. Appreciation is important but it doesn't have to be materialistic, and the worst part is that eventually it stops being genuine. Sometimes people just want to hear you say thank you.
I haven't announced on FB that I am expecting yet, and I appreciate that all my friends and family that know about the pregnancy have held off on posting anything about it. I plan on announcing next week when I can say "We're excited to be welcoming baby#3 NEXT MONTH!" Crazy and exciting that I'll be able to say that!
**tw** My reasoning for announcing so late is because I'm paranoid and I'm riddled with anxiety about having a healthy, take-home baby. I had a twin loss at 16 weeks 7 years ago, and ever since, my anxiety has been sky high whenever pregnant. ***
as for pictures of my kids, nobody has really posted pictures of my kids so I feel like I've been lucky to not have to deal with that, but I can see how it would be annoying. I agree that not much could be done to stop people if they choose to keep posting pictures of my kids, and I guess I would only be upset if the person posting did not have their settings appropriately set to "friends only" and instead had it posted for the whole world to see. Not that I think the whole world would want or seek out pictures of my kids, but there is just no need to make it so public like that.
I had my sweet baby girl yesterday at 34 weeks! She's doing so well in the NICU so far!
Me (K)-27 DH (T)-30 2 Rainbow DDs L-10/26/10 and A-03/27/14 2 Angels- 10/26/09 and 02/03/15 Surprise BFP on 10/25/16!!! Baby Firecracker is due on 07/02/17!
Thanks for the responses to my question ladies. I'm going to do newborn photos and try to take more pictures of this pregnancy myself. DH said the pics of newborns looked like creepy porcelain dolls, but I wore him down. I was sold after seeing the photographer's pictures of little baby feet with wedding and engagement rings on the toes .
@kghusker1003 Congratulations!!! I know this pregnancy has been very stressful for you, so I'm glad to hear that baby girl is doing well. How are you feeling?
Me: 31 DH: 31 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 CP 3/2019
Re: Weekly Randoms 5/22-5/26
Today started off okay but I'm starting to feel like crap. My back hurts and I'm exhausted. I'm having twizzlers for lunch. I went to the grocery during my lunch hour and it wore me out. I passed the twizzlers and couldn't resist.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@CPR79 Agree with above! Change you settings for sure and maybe even make a verbal announcement at the shower when everyone is there. You can absolutely say it in a kind way so that no one gets bent out of shape and if they get bent out of shape anyway... tough stuff, it's your kid and your news to share when you're ready!
I mean, my friend is very relieved
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
And I looked up Laura Ashley-- very limited selection and sizes, but "she's" still around.
My H and I both changed our settings months ago so no one could post anything on our walls directly, so I have that covered. I know if I hate social medial sharing this much I should just delete my FB, but then I wouldn't have a way to check if other people are sharing my business, it's a sickness!
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
ETA- not sure if this matters but my shower is being thrown by a few close friends, not family members.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
I also think there's this obsession with thank you gifts - when does it end? We played secret pal at work and at the end of the year, some people gave their pal a thank you gift. So basically a thank you gift for giving you a gift. Stop the madness!!!!
If anything, give them a cute pic of baby in a frame.
I like diaper cakes. My family believes that all decorations should be saved and cherished. This is a nice decoration that clearly has an expiration date.
@ginger1228 That is too much!
**tw** My reasoning for announcing so late is because I'm paranoid and I'm riddled with anxiety about having a healthy, take-home baby. I had a twin loss at 16 weeks 7 years ago, and ever since, my anxiety has been sky high whenever pregnant.
***
as for pictures of my kids, nobody has really posted pictures of my kids so I feel like I've been lucky to not have to deal with that, but I can see how it would be annoying. I agree that not much could be done to stop people if they choose to keep posting pictures of my kids, and I guess I would only be upset if the person posting did not have their settings appropriately set to "friends only" and instead had it posted for the whole world to see. Not that I think the whole world would want or seek out pictures of my kids, but there is just no need to make it so public like that.
Me (K)-27 DH (T)-30
2 Rainbow DDs L-10/26/10 and A-03/27/14
2 Angels- 10/26/09 and 02/03/15
Surprise BFP on 10/25/16!!! Baby Firecracker is due on 07/02/17!
I was so glad to see all this action from yesterday! I guess we all got bored of our respective PGs and came back here! Ive missed it!!!
CP 3/2019