FFFC 05.19.17 — The Bump
October 2016 Moms

Re: FFFC 05.19.17

  • The big kids had their last day of school yesterday, and even though I am happy about their summer break- I am going to miss the time I had alone with just the babies.
  • **Warning, this will probably be long**

    So I'm not really sure how I feel about this, not sure if its jealousy or some feeling I can't put my finger on.  H's sister had twins 2 years ago and had a C-section.  She just had a second set of twins this morning, and was able to do a VBAC.  I don't know much about VBAC but from what I have heard its difficult and I would imagine it would be more so with twins that were 7 & 8 lbs.  When H told me they were inducing her, I thought it was strange and was more so worried because of what I've heard regarding VBAC.  I even thought H didn't know what he was talking about and really she was scheduled for a C.  But for some reason I needed to know for myself and asked her.  And then she confirmed today that she did have a VBAC.  I don't know why it bothers me.  Maybe because I wanted to give birth vaginally but wasn't able to and probably won't be able to because the consensus from the DR for the reason why I couldn't was because my pelvis is too small.  I don't even know why I care really and its stupid.

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  • AllyTheKidAllyTheKid
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited May 2017
    @ladybug2821 That's not stupid, and I can understand why that might make you feel upset or even a little jealous, if that were the case. When the views of how you WANT to give birth don't line up with the ways the Doctors say you can, that obviously causes an imbalance or discrepancy in what you were originally imagining as ideal, and that's never a good feeling. But then to see somebody else do it, with twins against all odds, that just kind of rubs salt in that wound.
    That being said, I know you are also very happy for your SIL, and look on the bright side- this is absolutely more reason to get a second opinion about the option of VBAC for you! Who knows, you might be the next one having a VBAC with twins ;)
  • @allythekid Oh Lord!  Don't jinx me now LOL.  I am happy for her and can't wait to see them when they are able to come to FL. 
  • My FFC...with no intention of discounting your feelings re above.  I never gave much thought to the "type of birth I wanted."  I think every other mother I know besides my immediate family has waxed poetic about their dreams for giving birth and birth plans, studied labor techniques, etc.  My birth plan was get the baby out of me and keep us both alive, please and thank you.  It was somewhat traumatic for my body but nothing was better or worse than I wanted because I wanted exactly nothing out of it besides a baby.  And I regret that attitude not at all.

  • @Kgridley27 Honestly, I didn't have a solid birth plan either and also felt like if I have to have a C then so be it. I think it was the events that happened during and after that were hard for me to deal with. The epidural didn't work for me and I ended up with a spinal tap for my C. At home, the swelling was insane from all the fluids and due to the trauma my body broke out in horrible hives. Plus the recovery sucked. And my big toe is still numb to this day along with having incision issues. I think if my C and afterwards would've went smoothly, it wouldnt bother me so much. I didn't look into birth techniques or anything like that. My birth plan was give me all the drugs so I don't feel pain. And now that I just typed that out, that is probably why I'm bothered. I wanted the epidural to avoid as much pain as possible and it did nothing for me. 
  • That sounds so awful.  I'm sorry you had to deal with that.  Hopefully next time (if you'd like there to be a next time), things go much more smoothly regardless of whether you are able to do VBAC.
  • If it makes you feel any better, I can relate in that respect, sans the c-section anyway.
    With DD, my ONLY plan was to get an epidural, then come what may, just give me a healthy baby. Well, long story short we basically delivered DD ourselves with no meds at all due to straight up negligence on the nurses part. My body was wrecked by the end of it, and I was physically and emotionally traumatized by the experience for a long time. Which made my second pregnancy terrifying for me, but I had the smoothest, most actually enjoyable labor and delivery with #2. Then #3 was easy peasy after all that! Hold out hope for better round 2 :) Now that you and they know what issues you encountered with S, they can better accommodate your body's needs the next time!
  • @allythekid I'm sorry to hear about what happened with DD.  Thanks for sharing because this first experience definitely has me rethinking anymore so its good to know how different the next situation can be.
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