TW Tuesday — The Bump
July 2017 Moms

TW Tuesday

Who sucks today? 

Re: TW Tuesday

  • wolfmumwolfmum
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    Sorry if I'm stepping on someone's toes by posting this but... I have lost my shit on too many people and need to post this.

    I talk to my mother every Monday after work and I called her yesterday. She asked me if the baby got me anything for Mother's Day and I said "she got me some new stretch marks". Her response?????? "Oh.. already?" 

    ARE U ACTUALLY EFFING KIDDING ME. Just wondering. Bc last I checked I'm 7 months pregnant and "already?" Is not an appropriate response to anything and certainly not to your daughter telling u she just got new stretch marks at 7 months pregnant. she also proceeded to tell me that she was really disappointed in me for not calling her on Mother's Day (even though we got her a gift and sent her several text messages). Sorry I didn't prescribe to a BS Hallmark holiday in the way u would have liked. I called her ungrateful and said I don't have much patience for that. She dismissed me in a patronizing way and minimized my feelings per usual. So just a normal Monday.  


    Also my aunt told me today that I'm "hormonal" and that's why I disagree with her on things. Nope you just suck. And calling someone hormonal is like asking them if they've gained weight recently. Even if u think it's true, u never say it. For the record I don't even think it IS true. I'm a bitch all the time but now of course Bc I'm preg it must be attributable to that, right? I feel like it's the standard "projecting how I felt at that time on you" thing that all old people do but i feel like it's insulting (esp since my job requires that I be calm and super professional under stress). Tired of being disrespected and treated like a child who doesn't know what their own feelings are. 
    ladybrayBusyZee
  • The admin in my department has worn the same squeaky shoes every day for the last like week. And EVERY DAY she makes comments about how she hates them because they squeak and how annoying they are. Yes, they are - so maybe stop wearing them!!!
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    wolfmumglitterfish-2julybaby17-2ladybray
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  • @Potterphile that was super rude of your mom! I'd be pissed too....heck I am pissed for you! I didn't realize there was an "acceptable time" to get stretch marks  :/

    And same for your aunt - it's not hormones. I never understood the whole blaming hormones in pregnancy. Nope, not hormones, I'm just always a bitch :D
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Married 8 years - Aug 23/08
    DD - 6 years old, March 17/11
    #2 due July 19th! (It's a boy!)
    wolfmumladybray
  • @Potterphile WTF is wrong with moms?? The other day mine said to me "Wow, you got REALLY big since I saw you last week!" I said well, this baby gets bigger every day! She's like "Well maybe you shouldn't have married a big guy! Your fault!" 
    ???????????
    Hopefully it's just pregnancy hormones, but I went home and cried and cried  :(  It also made me so grateful that I'm having a boy, because it really is a miracle that I don't have more body issues growing up with my family...

    This probably belongs in WTF wednesday, but I had a day yesterday that I need to share!
    So yesterday I came out to train my maternity leave replacement because I can't really do fieldwork anymore at this stage of pregnancy, getting in and out of the car and walking so much.  So 20 minutes into the survey, she slipped and fell and broke her ankle!! We spent most of the evening in the urgent care, and now she's having surgery today. I offered to my boss that I could try to complete the work since I'm already out here, but he said not to bother... This fieldwork needs to be done so I can write the report before I go on leave, though.... But he was way more concerned about the workers comp paperwork. 
    Pregnancy Ticker

    Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin' 
    wolfmumladybray
  • @Potterphile It drives me absolutely BSC when I'm upset about something and my family says that it's hormones and I'm just hormonal.  Uh... that's not a reason why I can't be upset about this or that.  Whenever I get onto my mom about something, she will ask my DH if I'm in a fussy mood and even if he jokingly says yes, she believes him.   :/

    @rae1-3 How annoying!  Squeaky shoes are the worst.  And then to continue to wear them and draw attention to yourself?

    Me: 26  Him: 27
    Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014

    Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016

    BFP #1: 12/01/2016

    EDD: 07/24/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker
    ladybray
  • Wow.  Parents and in-laws have been really classy lately. I've had a few issues like that, too, which have also been blamed on hormones. Although that could be the case, making generalizations like that just makes me more angry. It's the same as asking a women if she's upset because she's on her period. You'd think our moms and MILs would be more sympathetic, since they were here at some point, too. 
    lanie1000stokesm21ladybray
  • wolfmumwolfmum
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    @julybaby17-2 - my mother literally remembers nothing from being pregnant. Ok not literally - she remembers how hard it was not to drink alcohol and how she had to get out of a waterbed (and hates my father for it). But other than that, nothing. So there's no commiseration or understanding. Just confused bitchy comments. she's also told me before that her comments aren't mean if they're true (and then turned around and yelled at me for saying mean things (that were true)). Talks out of both sides of her mouth, genuinely doesn't know which is true/real/right. 

    @maybeitsmadeline - fortunately I think my husband would maintain that I'm always a bitch so at least there's that..? My bitchy aunt often says that I must be hungry if I say something that she thinks is mean because the only reason I'm allowed to be a bitch is if I'm hungry. Or hormonal. There's no way to just disagree w her on the merits. So that's lovely. 

    @GlitterFish - at least you held on to the tears until you were out of sight. To me that means you were plenty in control enough. I don't want anyone to comment on my size even though most people are saying that I look small. I just don't want them to address it at all Bc they wouldn't if I wasn't pregnant and I don't think it's any more appropriate now.  I love my husband in part for always pointedly ignoring my size. He didn't care before and doesn't care now as far as I know. And ditto on the food issues- those will be interesting conversations w my family about why we don't say those things to my daughter 
    ladybrayBusyZee
  • Speaking of Mother's Day, I planned to make brunch with my brothers for my mom at her home, then make dinner at my apartment for my MIL. Night before I hear she may not come because of the rain. Then, at around 1 my husband gets a text that her and my BIL are on their way and will be at my place around 3. 

    Last time I checked, dinner is not at 3 and my BIL wasn't even coming. Had to get more chicken, rush home and throw dinner and dessert together. And she was wondering why I looked so tired...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    wolfmumladybray
  • clioclio
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    My MIL drives me absolutely bananas. She tries to do "nice" things around the house for us (like organize our cabinets, clean our oven, even paint our kitchen!), and although she means well (I think?) it just comes across as super controlling. She came for a surprise visit late last week, and in 24 hours she replaced lightbulbs, bought us a new fan when she deemed our guest room fan unsuitable, reorganized parts of the unfinished nursery, and made dinner without asking if we had plans. Truthfully, some of those things were helpful, but she could have at least asked before switching things around our house! Then last night she told my husband she'd like to replace our dishes. DH politely declined, but the great irony is that she bought us our current set because our old dishes were too old fashioned for her! Truth be told, none of these things matter to me like they do to her. I'm trying hard not to take it personally, but it feels so invasive and a reflection of my inadequate skills of keeping house.
    ladybray
  • She asked me if the baby got me anything for Mother's Day and I said "she got me some new stretch marks". Her response?????? "Oh.. already?" 

    ARE U ACTUALLY EFFING KIDDING ME. Just wondering. Bc last I checked I'm 7 months pregnant and "already?" Is not an appropriate response to anything and certainly not to your daughter telling u she just got new stretch marks at 7 months pregnant. she also proceeded to tell me that she was really disappointed in me for not calling her on Mother's Day (even though we got her a gift and sent her several text messages). Sorry I didn't prescribe to a BS Hallmark holiday in the way u would have liked. I called her ungrateful and said I don't have much patience for that. She dismissed me in a patronizing way and minimized my feelings per usual. So just a normal Monday.  

    Also my aunt told me today that I'm "hormonal" and that's why I disagree with her on things. Nope you just suck. And calling someone hormonal is like asking them if they've gained weight recently. Even if u think it's true, u never say it. For the record I don't even think it IS true. I'm a bitch all the time but now of course Bc I'm preg it must be attributable to that, right? I feel like it's the standard "projecting how I felt at that time on you" thing that all old people do but i feel like it's insulting (esp since my job requires that I be calm and super professional under stress). Tired of being disrespected and treated like a child who doesn't know what their own feelings are. 
    I'm sorry you're angry Potterphile but I have to admit the bold made me laugh out loud pretty hard!  :P  I invite my parents over for dinner Saturday and my Mom, although saying she enjoyed it, seemed less than impressed with our meal.  I couldn't swing a gift this year ... whether she understands that or not is a different story.  My sis got her a $50 gift card for a cute local clothing store and she texted yesterday to say Mom seemed completely underwhelmed and unimpressed.  This is why we hate doing things for my Mom, she's too high maintenance and no one knows how the fvck to please her!  She also balks when my BIL doesn't do something super special for my sister on MD.  We're just not like my Mom, we don't need a big deal made.  We're more of the subtle gift (if any at all) kind of people.  Being able to sleep in and maybe breakfast in bed kind-of-stuff is really all we want lol!

    As for the second part, I feel the same about periods.  My friend sent me this vid the other day about, "If men had periods ..." and it was basically a big mock fest about how women are hormonal, chocolate-eating, rampaging bitches.  Sure, it was supposed to be funny but as I get older I have zero tolerance for that shit.  If I'm being a bitch, speaking my mind or asserting myself I must be on my period.  *eye*roll*      
    Me: 29 DH: 31 SS: 12
    Met: 08/2001 Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
    TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
    Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
    ladybray
  • stokesm21stokesm21
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    edited May 2017
    @clio Organize ... cabinets?  That shit would never fly in my house! I'm so organized myself that another woman messing with my kitchen would not go over well haha!  Change the locks?! lol She's seriously over-stepping.  Not to mention, is she going to be that helpful when baby comes?! 

    My TW is the lady at the blood lab.  Since I'm now seeing my OB and no longer my GP, I tend to forget to go in for my TSH blood draws (I would just go every time I saw my GP)  She says, "Do you not have the list of dates we would have given you?"  Really?!  Is it that freaking hard to just swipe my health card and look it up?  I said, "Yeah. Somewhere at home in the bin on my counter with a bunch of other important papers."  Took her 2 seconds to look it up.  Ugh.    
    Me: 29 DH: 31 SS: 12
    Met: 08/2001 Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
    TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
    Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
    ladybray
  • @clio I get annoyed when people do ANYTHING in my house without asking. My grandmother rinsed dishes on Sunday and I was annoyed. I totally over react 90% of the time, but your MIL is way over stepping her bounds. Any chance you or DH can talk to her so she realizes that she's out of place? 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    DS born: July 8th, 2017
    Baby #2 Due: July 2nd, 2019 
    (we clearly have a problem with the month of July)
    ladybray
  • clioclio
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    @stokesm21 @kerils  Thank you! She's been pulling these shenanigans for so many years I think I've forgotten that it's not normal. Mind you, it's not like we live in disorganized chaos. I know that she thinks it's an expression of love but it certainly doesn't come across that way. DH is well aware that his mother is overbearing- it's why we choose to live over three hours away! 
    stokesm21
  • My MIL and my parents helped us move 2 years ago. I am not shy about taking charge and making sure things are done my way with my parents but my MIL is a different story. TBH my husband was the one who told her to come (without talking to me about it) which is fine but added to my stress. She was trying super hard to be helpful but ended up just putting things in random places to get them out of the way. I am not the most organized person but I am still finding random things in the back of my cupboards. I asked my Mom to come down for this baby so I know things will be done and done right. Don't let anyone monkey with your shit if they are untrustworthy! My MIL isnt bad but she isn't welcome to rummage through my kitchen again.
  • @stokesm21 you are not alone. I saw the same period skit you were talking about and was super annoyed. I get that it's supposed to be funny, but blaming emotions on periods AND the assumption that chocolate is a cure for cramps, pms, etc. was just really insulting. Don't get me wrong, I love me some chocolate, but it doesn't make menstruation any less of an ordeal. 
    stokesm21
  • @GlitterFish Argh! The situation with your replacement sounds like a nightmare. Hopefully you can get a replacement replacement soon to be able to start getting things wrapped up for your leave. 
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