Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: TTTC Checkin 05/16/2017
Cheap life hacks? Honestly I can't think of any. We just coupon and shop smart but as far as being crafty I'm all thumbs
QOTW: I rip up old t-shirts and use them as cloths for cleaning. Helps cut down on paper towels
TTC #1 Since: April 2015
Unexplained Infertility
Cycle 1&2 : Clomid 50mg- BFN
Cycle 3: Letrozole 2.5mg- BFN
Cycle 4: Letrozole 5mg- BFN
Cycle 5: HSG-normal
Clomid 100mg+ Estrace- BFN
Cycle 6: Letrozole 5mg+Trigger shot+IUI+Progestrone- BFN
Cycle 7: Letrozole 5mg, Cyst found during follicle check
Cycle 8: Birth control to treat left ovary cyst
Cycle 9: Letrozole 7.5mg+Trigger shot+IUI+Progesterone- BFN
Cycle 10: Letrozole 7.5mg, 2 Cysts found during follicle check
Cycle 11: Clomid 100mg+Estradiol+Trigger shot+IUI+Progesterone- BFN
Cycle 12: Clomid 100mg- BFN
Cycle 13-16: Natural attempts while awaiting IVF
Cycle 14: IVF-BFN
I am WTO, hopefully it will be sometime in the next week. This is our last cycle on our own and I cannot wait to get this show on the road.
QOTW: I think the biggest thing I do to save money is meal plan. When I don't then we end up going out a lot or making several grocery runs during the week, which really adds up.
Went in for all the blood work for Recurrent Pregnancy Loss today (Day 27ish of cycle) and an ultrasound on Thursday.
Blood draws for: Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH), Glucose, Luteinizing Hormone (LH), Progesterone, Prolactin, Thrombophelia Panel, Anti-TPO (thyroid antibodies), Thyroid (TSH/FT4), Thyroxine (Thyroid)
Anyone have anything else tested in their RPL panel? I've also heard that these are usually done on day 3 usually, so I wonder if the infertility clinic will want to run again.
QOTW: We try to insource as much as we can (meal prep, dog baths, issues around the house, yard work, cleaning etc) and budget
3.5 days left at my current job. I cannot wait to get out of here!
QOTW: I use coupons when I have them, and I've gotten really good at remembering to use my WalMart savings catcher app. We have been doing Whole 30 so our eating out has been cut and we are eating all meals from home. We can afford to eat out, but I am amazed at how much we've spent in the past eating out!
Me: 34 - SO: 40
TTC #1 since 8/2016
FINALLY diagnosed with anovulatory PCOS 11/2016 (Insulin resistance and multiple cysts on both ovaries)
Miscarriage on 7/19/17 at 7 weeks
Miscarriage on 10/16/17 at 5 weeks
@hoffmanr7 I'm sorry about the BFN. Boo!
@SunflowerMama428 I'm sorry you're feeling out already. I feel similarly, and it's hard because you feel like you're just wasting your time waiting for the days to pass. I really hope they either go by quickly for you and you end up with good news.
@kim41313 Hooray for the last cycle before treatments! Maybe you'll be one of the special ones who gets KU in her last cycle.
@msstephanielynn I hope you get some answers from the RPL panels and u/s, and your docs are able to formulate a plan. Please keep us updated.
@eranvo27 Oooo here's hoping that's AF finally rearing her head! I'm not sure if this is helpful at all, but at the end of my last cycle I took an OPK for funsies and had a very faint line (I'm guessing I probably always do but wouldn't know since I'm not testing outside FW). Do you usually have a faint line or would this be unusual for you?
AFM CD14 and I had IUI #5 today and it was...an adventure. Suffice to say on Sunday I started getting positive OPKs, which freaked me out since 1) my follow-up u/s wasn't until Monday morning and 2) I have always had to trigger on my medicated cycles. Came in yesterday and insisted on an u/s, which was silly because it turns out I was right in the middle of ovulating (confirmed by bloodwork) and there was nothing to see. My RE's office only does IUIs in the morning and by the time the bloodwork was back it was the afternoon, so he had me come in this morning and do the IUI. I'm dubious about the timing, but he felt it would still work. So we'll see. DH had good numbers although slightly lower than last time (7.7 million total motile), and the doctor was happy. My uterus was not. I had the worst cramps and ended up having to take a cab home lest I become the sick passenger on the subway who delays everyone. All in all, this cycle is not going well. I'll go through the motions for the rest of it, but I'm pretty sure we're out before we've even begun.
ETA QOTW: I coupon as best I can in a big city with a small apartment, and pride myself on finding very good deals for clothes and luxuries, such as Broadway shows.
@hoffmanr7 I missed tagging you in my forst post. So sorry for the BFN!!!
Me: 34 - SO: 40
TTC #1 since 8/2016
FINALLY diagnosed with anovulatory PCOS 11/2016 (Insulin resistance and multiple cysts on both ovaries)
Miscarriage on 7/19/17 at 7 weeks
Miscarriage on 10/16/17 at 5 weeks
Frustratingly, we have to wait until June 1 to start IVF with our clinic - we'll have an orientation then. After, they'll put me on birth control for a couple of weeks before the real drugs begin.
I was a little bit crestfallen because I wanted to move forward faster - I was hoping to have a retrieval before my birthday in July, but now it looks like it'll be later than that. I am trying not to be too disappointed - I mean, it might be nice for my body to have a chance to recover a little bit more from the clomid and cysts and everything.
Anyway, so I guess more waiting for me. Blah.
QOTW: I don't know about "hacks" - a lot of what we do is the same as is recommended in all sorts of personal finance writing. Pay down highest interest debt first, do meal planning, bike to work instead of drive, only used cars, etc.
One thing I've found though is that when we have lots of groceries - and groceries we like! - eg. good coffee, nice fruit, etc - we're way more likely to always eat in and bring coffee to work. For years I'd just buy cheap coffee and then I hated it and I would buy extra coffee out. Not anymore - spending a little bit more on nicer groceries means I spend less on fast food.
Me: 34 - SO: 40
TTC #1 since 8/2016
FINALLY diagnosed with anovulatory PCOS 11/2016 (Insulin resistance and multiple cysts on both ovaries)
Miscarriage on 7/19/17 at 7 weeks
Miscarriage on 10/16/17 at 5 weeks
Hugs to anyone who is needing them.
CD 11. Trying to minimize stress in my life - getting Lasik tomorrow and my MIL just has surgery yesterday. Lots going on and not enough time to do it all.
QOTW: Lots of saving things to re-send, especially gift bags, tissue paper, etc.
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements
I'm 12dptrigger/11dpo. I don't know if what I'm feeling is normal PMS or if everything is heightened because of the medicated cycle. Maybe it is just because my body isn't used to having ovulated.
Married since 2010, TTC since Dec 2013
Dx: PCOS
@Kate437 FX for you! I know how you feel...the trigger shot will make you have symptoms due to hcg, then when it wears off, you don't know what your feeling or imagining. These meds are so awesome, yet can be so confusing!
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
I so appreciate the support this board has provided me as I have struggled through this process. We are all at different points but can relate to how horrible and lonely this struggle can be. Thank you again to everyone who tagged me with kind words and encouragement.
@funkykey good luck with IVF! Let me know if you have any questions about the process, I'd be happy to share my experiences.
@hoffmanr7 I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN.
QOTW- I'm not really good at saving money but if you haven't downloaded Cartwheel and you shop at Target, go now and download it. Between that app and my Red Card we save a bunch of money at Target.
DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
TTC since December 2014
Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy
FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks
FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days
Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good
2 snow babies
We had our second RE appointment on Monday. All the tests came back normal, except the 50 cysts on my ovaries (yay..).
So as of tonight I have started on Provera for a week, then after I get AF I'll be starting Letrozole!
I'm so happy we finally have some forward progress at last, 10 months into this whole thing. I'm starting to feel optimistic now... Hopefully I'll ovulate by early June!
QOTW: Cost saving hacks: what can be done to save a buck or two?
All we really do is budgeting and shopping around to get good prices. We also buy plenty of things second hand too
TTC #1 since July 2016
Dx: PCOS, on Metformin since Feb 2017
I dont have a ton of cost saving hacks...but I'm always looking for deals and trying to save as much money as possible. I also try to waste as little as possible and I pick my lunch every day so that I don't spend money out. I also only go out and get coffee once a week or so as a special treat. I'm always yelling at DH for using too much paper towel or opening something when we already have one open. I think I've turned into my grandma! Lol
@tops-2 That's wonderful news!!
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@Bababatty I hope I am one of the lucky ones!
@funkykey I am sorry that you have to wait to get started with IVF. I hope the next month flies by for you!
@tops-2 yayy for a plan!
@MooFish2364 GL with the hysteroscopy! Being benched is frustrating, I hope it passes quickly for you!
@Worldtravler0522 I have cartwheel and I always forget to use it while I'm at Target!
Me: 34 - SO: 40
TTC #1 since 8/2016
FINALLY diagnosed with anovulatory PCOS 11/2016 (Insulin resistance and multiple cysts on both ovaries)
Miscarriage on 7/19/17 at 7 weeks
Miscarriage on 10/16/17 at 5 weeks
TTC #1 Since: April 2015
Unexplained Infertility
Cycle 1&2 : Clomid 50mg- BFN
Cycle 3: Letrozole 2.5mg- BFN
Cycle 4: Letrozole 5mg- BFN
Cycle 5: HSG-normal
Clomid 100mg+ Estrace- BFN
Cycle 6: Letrozole 5mg+Trigger shot+IUI+Progestrone- BFN
Cycle 7: Letrozole 5mg, Cyst found during follicle check
Cycle 8: Birth control to treat left ovary cyst
Cycle 9: Letrozole 7.5mg+Trigger shot+IUI+Progesterone- BFN
Cycle 10: Letrozole 7.5mg, 2 Cysts found during follicle check
Cycle 11: Clomid 100mg+Estradiol+Trigger shot+IUI+Progesterone- BFN
Cycle 12: Clomid 100mg- BFN
Cycle 13-16: Natural attempts while awaiting IVF
Cycle 14: IVF-BFN
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
Married since 2010, TTC since Dec 2013
Dx: PCOS