@Ilky Oh no...don't say that!! Everything is going to be ok, I swear it some times seems like a big roller coaster ride we are on. I always get excited at the beginning of a cycle, then crash at the end. When it does happen for us...we will be so much more thankful. Try to keep your head up...I've been trying to stay busy and today I came into the office to escape..
TTC #1 since April 2015 June 2016 - CP 2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's IVF w/ PGS - January 2018 FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN ERA Cycle May / June 2018 ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change) FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410 U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166 Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19 EDD March 28, 2019 Baby Girl born 3/26/19
TTC #1 since April 2015 June 2016 - CP 2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's IVF w/ PGS - January 2018 FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN ERA Cycle May / June 2018 ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change) FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410 U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166 Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19 EDD March 28, 2019 Baby Girl born 3/26/19
Sorry I haven't been on in awhile, just coping with last BFN and contemplating when to start IVF. Sorry to hear about the BFNs but do hope that May brings lots of blooming for you ladies.
Ugh. In the dog days of the TWW and afraid to POAS, mostly because of my trigger. My beta is Friday, but that's a full 16dpiui, so I should be able to POAS on Wednesday at 14dpiui. Am really tempted to tonight tho!
TTC #1 since April 2015 June 2016 - CP 2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's IVF w/ PGS - January 2018 FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN ERA Cycle May / June 2018 ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change) FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410 U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166 Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19 EDD March 28, 2019 Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@kristimh80 - it's a lot, this is all a lot. Part of me cannot wait to find out, but only if it's positive. If it's a negative, I am going to be devastated, thus the POAS putting off... Every single BFN gets harder.
I honestly don't know how we keep doing it, over and over. And how it's possible for me to keep getting my hopes up, over and over. I know there's about a 20% chance I might have a BFP - 20%! That's nothing! That's 80% BFN! and yet I keep thinking to myself: "Well, I had that pain in my side, and I have been a little more emotional lately, so maybe... maybe..." Ugh.
Hang in there - BFNs are sooo rough, particularly after you've done a treatment cycle. It sometimes takes me days to recover, and I only feel hopeful again once the IUI is done.
Sometimes I wonder how long it's going to take me to feel right after all this - like when we're done. Like how long it's going to take me to mentally recover from the stress of IF, once we've fully stopped TTC. Right now, I'm thinking it might take a full year to let myself process the trauma of this, and to stop being so upset/angry/hurt/sad when someone tells me how easily they got pregnant - like, to just be at peace. This stuff is really, really hard!
@funkykey Awe I totally get that!! That's how I am going to be this cycle, try to convince myself not to POAS over and over. This last BFN was the hardest yet and I'm still mentally getting over it. But starting injectables tomorrow so hoping as soon as I get that all rolling, I'll be back on track and feeling better. We may take a cycle off if this one doesn't go thru just for sanity.
FX for you though...longer AF stays away, you are still good to go! :-)
TTC #1 since April 2015 June 2016 - CP 2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's IVF w/ PGS - January 2018 FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN ERA Cycle May / June 2018 ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change) FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410 U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166 Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19 EDD March 28, 2019 Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@funkykey you're not out yet! FX that things turn around! We've also decided to move on to IVF if this IUI is unsuccessful. I'm rooting for you over the next few days! Good luck!
I'm sorry @funkykey!! Hopefully you get good news.
AFM, I'm not really on this board anymore, but am just feeling crappy today. We are waiting to see our new RE about IVF next week. I thought I had been doing better, but DH and I did not have a very good night last night. Then this morning I wake up after a dream where I was pregnant and it was so vivid. So I was feeling pretty crappy before I went to work this morning. Then my husband tells me I am being "defeatist" lately and need to work on that. Just not having a very good day. Usually he is really supportive, but this was not the day to pick to say that. Usually I am a bubbly, hopeful person, but this journey has just taken so much out of me that some days I feel like a completely different person. Sorry, venting over!
BFN this morning at 11dpo and temp has been down for 2 days, so I'm out. We might take May off, not sure yet. We have one more IUI left before Dr wants to move on to IVF, which we won't be doing, so I'm feeling pretty discouraged.
Me: PCOS DH: No issues
August '16-January '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI/TI = BFN February/March '17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = BFN April '17: Menopur + HCG + TI (due to too many mature follicles) = BFN May '17: Took off due to cysts June' 17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = Cancelled due to 8+ mature follicles November '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI= BFN December '17: Menopur + HCG + TI= BFP!!!! Due August 2018
So sorry @funkykey & @Funnygirl34! I understand, I'm still trying to recover from my BFN on Friday. Starting meds tonight...usually I'm excited but can't get there yet. Hugs to you both!
TTC #1 since April 2015 June 2016 - CP 2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's IVF w/ PGS - January 2018 FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN ERA Cycle May / June 2018 ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change) FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410 U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166 Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19 EDD March 28, 2019 Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@baseballhoney I'm so sorry you're having a rough day and DH is not helping. Can you talk it out tonight? I understand how frustrating this is, and it's easy--and ok!--to go through periods of depression and "defeatism." Creepy internet hugs to you--I hope you're feeling better soon.
@baseballhoney we are seeing our RE about IVF next week too. What do you mean "not a very good night"? Like, were you snipping at each other? We did that a bit last week - I was over-tired and sad, and he said something in just the wrong tone, and I said: "I don't like your tone", and we snipped at each other for probably about an hour. And then we went out for dinner with friends the next night and came home and were like: "Let's forget about whatever we were fighting about, and get some sleep." and all was forgiven and forgotten. Honestly, today, I can't even remember what I was mad about. Go figure.
I think it's normal to have bad days during IF - specifically bad days with your marriage. It's a lot of money, a lot of stress, a lot of work - and very little payoff. On my good days, I'm even glad for it - I mean, we've managed to make it this far. It makes me feel like we can handle the challenges life throws at us.
AFM: AF has arrived, early! Ugh. Holy. So the BFN was accurate. We are going to move on to IVF, and will meet with the RE next week.
Surprisingly, I'm feeling more hopeful than I've felt in some time - I think because the IVF success rates are so much higher. That, and maybe because I've spent the last few months mentally preparing for what we'd do if all of our IUIs fail, which they have. (I figured, with 20% chance of success, it'd be prudent to not have a plan B.)
Anyway, April was a terrible month for us. Here's hoping that May has many, many more BFPs, to make up for April!
@Bababatty I'm sure we will talk tonight. @funkykey We were snippy with each other. I'm sure we will put it behind us tonight. That's what usually happens. IF has been hard on our marriage, definitely the hardest thing yet. You just have to get through it on the bad days and enjoy the good days. I feel like it does strengthen us, just hard to see sometimes. I hope your appointment with your RE goes well next week! You will have to let me know.
@baseballhoney - IF has been hard on our marriage, definitely the hardest thing yet. You just have to get through it on the bad days and enjoy the good days. I feel like it does strengthen us, just hard to see sometimes. - exactly.
Plus, let's be honest - husbands are great, but they're also the worst. They just need so much training! LOL!
Just catching up here. @funkykey I'm so sorry for the BFN! I'm glad you are hopeful for your IVF! I'm starting to get excited about that as well (assuming we go that route. We have our follow up tomorrow). What a roller coaster of emotions. It's all too much.
@Funnygirl34 so sorry for your news as well. April was a rough one for sure.
@baseballhoney I'm sorry about the tension with DH. I know that feeling all too well. I get so short with him if he doesn't know the exact next step of our treatment. It's like I want him to be obsessed with this as much as me... but I really don't want that. One of us has to remain sane.
*TW* me 36 | him 42 | married 5/2016
ttc with TI June 2016 - Nov 2016 = BFN Nov 2016 dx male infertility - intermittent azoospermia during intercourse & unexplained
• Dec 2016 - IUI #1 | cd 30/10 dpiui: BFP | 8w4d: MC by D&C due to blighted ovum
• Mar 2017 - IUI #2, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN • April 2017 - IUI #3, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN • May 2017 - IUI #4, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN • June 2017 - IVF #1, 5 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized, 2 high quality blasts chillin'. During retrieval, Dr. had to go through my uterus so we switched from fresh transfer to frozen. Giving my uterus a full cycle to heal. • August/September 2017 - Natural FET #1, transferred one day 5/6 embryo on Sept 3rd, Beta #1 171, Beta #2 402.6 | Saw heartbeat at 6 weeks, 3 days | BFP • April 2017 - Baby Boy Beckett was born. • August 2019 - FET, transferred one day 5/6 embryo | BFP • December 2019 - Diagnosed with low AFI of 3.41 on 12/3, cause unknown. No tear in membranes, no issues with Baby Girl. On bedrest.
Re: April IUI
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@funkykey FX for you!!!
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
I honestly don't know how we keep doing it, over and over. And how it's possible for me to keep getting my hopes up, over and over. I know there's about a 20% chance I might have a BFP - 20%! That's nothing! That's 80% BFN! and yet I keep thinking to myself: "Well, I had that pain in my side, and I have been a little more emotional lately, so maybe... maybe..." Ugh.
Hang in there - BFNs are sooo rough, particularly after you've done a treatment cycle. It sometimes takes me days to recover, and I only feel hopeful again once the IUI is done.
Sometimes I wonder how long it's going to take me to feel right after all this - like when we're done. Like how long it's going to take me to mentally recover from the stress of IF, once we've fully stopped TTC. Right now, I'm thinking it might take a full year to let myself process the trauma of this, and to stop being so upset/angry/hurt/sad when someone tells me how easily they got pregnant - like, to just be at peace. This stuff is really, really hard!
FX for you though...longer AF stays away, you are still good to go! :-)
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@funkykey Ah so close! I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you!
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
AFM, I'm not really on this board anymore, but am just feeling crappy today. We are waiting to see our new RE about IVF next week. I thought I had been doing better, but DH and I did not have a very good night last night. Then this morning I wake up after a dream where I was pregnant and it was so vivid. So I was feeling pretty crappy before I went to work this morning. Then my husband tells me I am being "defeatist" lately and need to work on that. Just not having a very good day. Usually he is really supportive, but this was not the day to pick to say that. Usually I am a bubbly, hopeful person, but this journey has just taken so much out of me that some days I feel like a completely different person. Sorry, venting over!
August '16-January '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI/TI = BFN
February/March '17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = BFN
April '17: Menopur + HCG + TI (due to too many mature follicles) = BFN
May '17: Took off due to cysts
June' 17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = Cancelled due to 8+ mature follicles
November '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI= BFN
December '17: Menopur + HCG + TI= BFP!!!! Due August 2018
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@funnygirl34 I'm so sorry about the BFN!
I think it's normal to have bad days during IF - specifically bad days with your marriage. It's a lot of money, a lot of stress, a lot of work - and very little payoff. On my good days, I'm even glad for it - I mean, we've managed to make it this far. It makes me feel like we can handle the challenges life throws at us.
@Funnygirl34 - I'm sorry.
AFM: AF has arrived, early! Ugh. Holy. So the BFN was accurate. We are going to move on to IVF, and will meet with the RE next week.
Surprisingly, I'm feeling more hopeful than I've felt in some time - I think because the IVF success rates are so much higher. That, and maybe because I've spent the last few months mentally preparing for what we'd do if all of our IUIs fail, which they have. (I figured, with 20% chance of success, it'd be prudent to not have a plan B.)
Anyway, April was a terrible month for us. Here's hoping that May has many, many more BFPs, to make up for April!
Plus, let's be honest - husbands are great, but they're also the worst. They just need so much training! LOL!
@Funnygirl34 so sorry for your news as well. April was a rough one for sure.
@baseballhoney I'm sorry about the tension with DH. I know that feeling all too well. I get so short with him if he doesn't know the exact next step of our treatment. It's like I want him to be obsessed with this as much as me... but I really don't want that. One of us has to remain sane.
me 36 | him 42 | married 5/2016
Nov 2016 dx male infertility - intermittent azoospermia during intercourse & unexplained
• Dec 2016 - IUI #1 | cd 30/10 dpiui: BFP | 8w4d: MC by D&C due to blighted ovum
• April 2017 - IUI #3, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN
• May 2017 - IUI #4, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN
• June 2017 - IVF #1, 5 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized, 2 high quality blasts chillin'. During retrieval, Dr. had to go through my uterus so we switched from fresh transfer to frozen. Giving my uterus a full cycle to heal.
• August/September 2017 - Natural FET #1, transferred one day 5/6 embryo on Sept 3rd, Beta #1 171, Beta #2 402.6 | Saw heartbeat at 6 weeks, 3 days | BFP
• April 2017 - Baby Boy Beckett was born.
• August 2019 - FET, transferred one day 5/6 embryo | BFP
• December 2019 - Diagnosed with low AFI of 3.41 on 12/3, cause unknown. No tear in membranes, no issues with Baby Girl. On bedrest.