Sleeping in separate rooms

beemaya83 · April 2017

im still trying to get the hang of this whole parenting thing. So LO took over our bed many many months ago. This momma was like whatever as long as I get sleep. At some point DH started to get uncomfortable and started sleeping in our spare bedroom. Again, whatever since I felt there was now more room for LO and I. I'm almost due with #2 and the plan is that I'll be sleeping with new baby and DH with LO. My LO still doesn't sleep through the night (note: he does not get a bottle anymore). However, I've been feeling bitter about the whole sleeping arrangements and can't help but think that I brought this upon myself. Now with new bay coming I feel like DH needs to stay in the same room with us, not only to help out but to bond with baby as well. I don't know how to bring it up to him. I guess this post is to ask if anyone has had a similar experience? Of course the best thing to do is to discuss with DH, but I don't want to her the "I told you so". To add, I do have a friend with a 3 year old and a 20 month old with similar situation. they still sleep in separate rooms...

ciennah99 · April 2017

I don't have any experience with this other than my LO not sleeping through the night either, wah! Anyway maybe some of these tips could help you or DH to transition him to his own room.
https://mbasahm.com/transitioning-cosleeping-toddler/

janat1717 · May 2017

Just saw this. I have slept with LO alone since birth. My husband sleeps downstairs. Everyone actually sleeps better this way for us. DH does extra stuff during the day to make up for it. I understand your feelings though. Do you both work? I don't work so can always catch up on sleep during nap time. He takes over for most of the late afternoon evening unless he has home repairs so we've never had bonding issues. I'd suggest sitting down and making a game plan.

Oh and I have a friend that has two big beds in one room pushed together (like a king and a queen) for her, her DH and 2 kids. I can't remember all the bedtimes and the sleeping arrangements but they have it all worked out.

beemaya83 · May 2017

@janat1717 I'm still in the living room. Gave birth to #2 in 4/11. It's working out just fine right now. My DH is doing all the work with house and with DS so like you, it works out if he gets sleep at night. I'll re-visit the sleeping arrangements in a few months.

virginiaunicorn11 · May 2017

@janat1717 do you find that sleeping arrangement has any impact on your broader relationship with your husband? I'm sorry to ask such a personal question. We have an unutilized guest room, and DS wakes at 5:00 am every day, which is brutal. We've been discussing how to use the guest room, especially when the new LO arrives. However we don't want to introduce any additional distance since it can already feel like kids can form a wedge.

janat1717 · May 2017

@virginiaunicorn11 I haven't noticed any issues with the sleeping arrangement. I think the important thing is to be on the same page about it. We had about 8 years together without DS so we are both very comfortable with our relationship revolving around him right now. This was a decision we made together though. We've take it to the extreme and aren't having anyone else watch him either which definitely takes a united front! The grandparents aren't overly thrilled.

I think seeing the interactions we each have with him plus the family time has greatly strengthened our bond. That's not to say that everything is always roses. We've done our time with counseling to work out the unexpected kinks that pop up. Talk it out and maybe a trial run?

Sleeping in separate rooms

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