I am here to clarify the use of white as a dress in a wedding. The roots in a white wedding dress have nothing to do with purity but the show of wealth because a white dress is something that can only be worn a few times so brides and families would choose a white dress to show off. I believe Queen Victoria started that tradition. Somehow over the years it took on a meaning of virginity and purity. I wore white and had two children with DH when we married.
Now I have strong feelings on second showers, of any kind, and frankly am tired of talking about it. I am all for celebrating baby but having a formal occasion where people are expected to bring gifts rubs me the wrong way to say the least. People brought me gifts for my second because they wanted to and it was completely on them - I had no registry or party, they simply showed up to the hospital or to visit and brought a present. I was touched and loved it. You do not need to have a shower in order to have get together or celebrate with family, have a BBQ or invite people that want to come over on an individual or group basis to see the new addition, but I will side eye second showers unless it's a work event where you almost don't have a choice. To me the main difference is the expectation of a gift and people attending a party for you especially before the baby is even born.
I kind of agree with the second wedding thing, but I was recently in a full-blown wedding that was the bride's second and nobody had any problems with it that I know of. The bride was my SIL. Her first wedding was when she was fairly young (maybe 22) and lasted for 3 years, no kids involved. I don't know who her bridesmaids were in that wedding, but I think maybe they were college friends that she has lost touch with since then. They got divorced shortly after I started dating H, and TBH it's easy to forget that she was ever married.
So she got engaged again when she was like 30. She always said she would do a low-key destination wedding if she ever got married again, but the groom is from this huge irish catholic family, and really wanted a big traditional wedding. So that's what they did. Her bridesmaids were me, groom's sister and her BFF, and none of us knew her the first time she got married so there were no feelings about doing this "again." She had two showers, one was a couple's shower thrown by some of the grooms friends, and another was a more traditional shower thrown by someone on the groom's side. Again, none of those people had anything to do with the first wedding, so nobody thought it was odd. I'm sure most of the groom's family (aunts/cousins etc) don't even know she was married before. I don't know why that would even come up. Of course, the bride's entire family was invited to the wedding knowing that it was her second, and maybe they considered that when they were thinking about what gift to bring, but it was one of the most fun wedding receptions I've ever been to, so I can't imagine anyone harboring any bad feelings about attending.
Now I have strong feelings on second showers, of any kind, and frankly am tired of talking about it. I am all for celebrating baby but having a formal occasion where people are expected to bring gifts rubs me the wrong way to say the least. People brought me gifts for my second because they wanted to and it was completely on them - I had no registry or party, they simply showed up to the hospital or to visit and brought a present. I was touched and loved it. You do not need to have a shower in order to have get together or celebrate with family, have a BBQ or invite people that want to come over on an individual or group basis to see the new addition, but I will side eye second showers unless it's a work event where you almost don't have a choice. To me the main difference is the expectation of a gift and people attending a party for you especially before the baby is even born.
Re: STM+ Baby showers
Now I have strong feelings on second showers, of any kind, and frankly am tired of talking about it. I am all for celebrating baby but having a formal occasion where people are expected to bring gifts rubs me the wrong way to say the least. People brought me gifts for my second because they wanted to and it was completely on them - I had no registry or party, they simply showed up to the hospital or to visit and brought a present. I was touched and loved it. You do not need to have a shower in order to have get together or celebrate with family, have a BBQ or invite people that want to come over on an individual or group basis to see the new addition, but I will side eye second showers unless it's a work event where you almost don't have a choice. To me the main difference is the expectation of a gift and people attending a party for you especially before the baby is even born.
So she got engaged again when she was like 30. She always said she would do a low-key destination wedding if she ever got married again, but the groom is from this huge irish catholic family, and really wanted a big traditional wedding. So that's what they did. Her bridesmaids were me, groom's sister and her BFF, and none of us knew her the first time she got married so there were no feelings about doing this "again." She had two showers, one was a couple's shower thrown by some of the grooms friends, and another was a more traditional shower thrown by someone on the groom's side. Again, none of those people had anything to do with the first wedding, so nobody thought it was odd. I'm sure most of the groom's family (aunts/cousins etc) don't even know she was married before. I don't know why that would even come up. Of course, the bride's entire family was invited to the wedding knowing that it was her second, and maybe they considered that when they were thinking about what gift to bring, but it was one of the most fun wedding receptions I've ever been to, so I can't imagine anyone harboring any bad feelings about attending.