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December 2017 Moms
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How do I prepare my 2year old for a brother/sister?

kate0506kate0506 member
in December 2017 Moms
Hi ladies,

My DH and I are over the moon to be expecting our second child, but one of our concerns (mainly my DH) is how do we prepare our 2 yr old son for a new baby in the household?
I'm sure its the same for most of you that toddlers can be very needy and demand attention all the time.

My DS is currently being screened for possible autism as he doesn't understand much language and doesn't yet have any speech. Also has alot of behavioural issues. But he is a very loving little boy who loves interacting and is very demanding.

So im just interested in any advice someone in a similar situation could offer or stories of people who have struggled or succeeded with this? Even ladies who havent got children with learning difficulties. 

Look forward to your thoughts ladies  :)
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Best Answers

  • lestex lestex member
    Answer ✓
    Our son was 19 months old when we brought home #2. He didn't have much speech at the time which definitely made it a little difficult because he wanted to be held while I was nursing and didn't understand any explanation I gave him as to why I couldn't hold him. We bought him a baby doll with a bottle so he could "feed his baby" while I fed his brother, (didn't always work but sometimes it did), we bought a few Big Brother type books, and we prayed for patience! The transition won't be perfect but your household will get through it. Good luck! ❤️

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  • missbmamamissbmama member
    Answer ✓
    We bought our son a baby doll and a big brother book. I constantly read him the book and talked to him about babies and how mommy had a baby in her tummy and would play babies with him using his doll. He was 2.5 when his brother was born and was also slow to begin speaking(totally not the case now). I wasn't even sure what we did helped but now I think it did. He's an awesome big brother and from day one has loved DS2 with a fierceness that's amazing to me. 
    My other advice is to not worry so much about it. If you act as though a new baby is just part of how life goes then I think it's easier for toddlers to adjust. It's when we grown ups start making it all a huge deal that they think it is one. Most kids like babies naturally and adjust smoother than expected. You got this momma!
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  • carolinefriesencarolinefriesen member
    Answer ✓
    My daughter was 2 when her brother was born. It really was much easier than I thought. We read lots of books, and she really liked the episodes of Daniel Tiger when his baby sister was born.
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  • LittleKickLittleKick member
    Answer ✓
    Following as I'm having the same worries
    i already have 3 kids but they have huge age gaps
    my eldest is 16, my middle is 10 in a few weeks and my baby is 16 months
    the new baby is due almost two years to the day that my last was due
    my son is very much a mummy's boy and spends his whole day stuck to my side and is my husband cuddles me he gets upset because he doesn't like other people having my attention, he is very loving and spends 90% of his day wanting to give me cuddles and kisses and if we go out shopping as a family and my hubby is pushing the trolley if I stop to look at something and they carry on, even just one step my son freaks out
    im just worried his not going to like having to share me with a little baby in a few months 
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  • readermom1readermom1 member
    edited May 2017 Answer ✓
    @kate0506 busy bags are simple activities stored in a bag for toddlers or preschoolers so they are always ready to go. They are engaging activities that your child can do independently and quietly. There are a million different ideas for them online, and if you make a bunch you can rotate them out, so your child always has something special when you need them to be independent. I was thinking about making a bunch and having them available for when I need my older kids (2 and 3 1/2) to play quietly after the baby comes, but I've never done them before so I wondered if anyone else has had success with them.

    ETA: I think having something special might help the older siblings adjust better and feel less jealous when I need to give attention to the baby.
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Re: How do I prepare my 2year old for a brother/sister?

  • kate0506kate0506 member
    Thanks @lestex . Thats a great idea with the doll idea. Definitely worth a shot. I think it will be a very positive thing for him in the long run having a brother or sister to play with and interact with. But going to be a challenge at first I think. Nether the less, they are so worth it.  :)
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  • kate0506kate0506 member
    Thank you @missbmama, great advice. I do think we as parents can worry about things far too much. Will definitely be getting a doll and doing some roll play with that, will see if I can get a book. At the moment he wont pay attention to stories as he doesnt understand. But hopefully by time baby arrives he will have a bit more understanding as he will be 2 & 1/2 by then. Will definitely start to just let things be. He loves other kids so im sure he will be a great big brother.  :)
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  • kate0506kate0506 member
    Thanks @carolinefriesen, thats a great idea. My ds does seem to learn more with cartoons and learning dvds etc. Might see if I can get some big brother videos on youtube.  :)
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  • kate0506kate0506 member
    @Littlekick bless your ds, he loves his mamma so much. I think maybe some of these ideas the other ladies have mentioned maybe of real help to you. Does your ds go to nursery? Maybe would be a good thing to put him in for just a few hours a week so it gets him used to being away from you so hes not quite so attached. 
    My son is starting next week three afternoons a week. Mainly to help with speech and learning development, but also I think it will get him used to me not being there all the time. Would be great to keep eachother updated on progress. As @missbmama said, I think we need to not worry so much. Im sure our little ones will adapt just fine. Good luck, and keep me posted  :)
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  • readermom1readermom1 member
    I agree with @carolinefriesen that Daniel Tiger is awesome! (It's on Amazon prime.) We used the doll idea and also talked a lot with DS about how the new baby was his baby and our new baby and I think that helped too. We plan on doing the same things with DD this time. For DS I want to stress that he gets to be my "big helper" this time since he'll be 4 by the time baby arrives.

    Has anybody done "busy bags" before? How did they work out for you? I was thinking about putting some together for the kids to use quietly while I'm nursing/putting baby to sleep.
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  • kate0506kate0506 member
    Thanks @jkresyman. Ive not heatd of busy bags. Whats that? 
     :) 
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  • HRM2L0HRM2L0 member
    There wasn't much we could've done to prepare my son for our daughter who was born just after his second birthday. He had no interest in dolls or babies, and he knew there was a baby in my tummy but to him that just wasn't a big deal at all. I think having siblings is just a natural, instinctive thing to kids, especially that young.  When the baby arrived he couldn't care less and it took about six months for them to really interact much. 


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  • kate0506kate0506 member
    They sound like a great idea @jkresyman, will definitely have a look at some ideas for those. Thanks  :)
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  • kate0506kate0506 member
    @HRML20 I'm hoping that will be the case with my son. Hoping by then he will have a bit more understanding and I can explain to him hes going to have a brother or sister  :)
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