Waiting Room Wednesday ~ May 3

glitzandglitter · May 2017

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/7d/65rmafgxdg8x.gif

***General TW that this thread might contain discussions mentioning MC and loss.***

Welcome to Waiting Room Wednesday!

You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason. I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons

TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________

Are you benched or TTA?

What brings you here?

How long do you think you'll be here?

How have things been going?

Any R/R?

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood memory?

catlady2015 · May 2017

Are you benched or TTA? TTA - waiting till June - hoping H's job situation stabilizes.

What brings you here? we're close to being ready to try! Looking to do all the prep stuff to get ready to conceive so my body's as ready as it can be to try.

How long do you think you'll be here? Hopefully we can start trying in six weeks, two months at the outside.

How have things been going? Pretty good, work has been crazy so it's been distracting.

Any R/R? Rave: it's May and it's gorgeous!

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood memory? Fishing with my dad and my sister tried to cast her line and hooked her pants. collapsed in laughter in the mud for 5 minutes - she kept trying to get it out by tugging on the pole.

notthefather · May 2017

@catlady2015: Haha! That's kind of funny. 6 weeks will go by in a flash!

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? So, I see two different types of responses to this question. (1) Why are you TTA/benched? or (2) Why are you on the message boards? In response to the first question - my husband isn't ready. To answer the second question - I felt pretty alone wanting another baby so badly but having a partner who was not on board.

How long do you think you'll be here? I have no idea.

How have things been going? Good. Life has been busy. We are FINALLY getting new cabinets today.

Any R/R? None.

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood memory? Family vacations with my cousins. I had a glorious childhood and am so, incredibly thankful for it.

catlady2015 · May 2017

@notthefather - yay for new cabinets!! I grew up with a lot of cousins too and it was wonderful having them so close.

JennyColada · May 2017

OMG @catlady2015! That sounds HILARIOUS!

dreamscapes_ · May 2017

@catlady2015 I hope the next six weeks pass quickly for you

Your fishing memory sounds awesome, and totally like something that would happen to me.

@notthefather Yay for the new cabinets! It's been long enough!

Are you benched or TTA? Still benched due to chronic pain, medications, and finances.

What brings you here? You ladies help me stay sane.

How long do you think you'll be here? We're hoping to start TTC by the end of the summer, but we were talking about it last night. I need to clarify something, but it looks like I'd have to wait three months from coming back from this leave before getting pregnant so that I can take maternity leave. Which is sort of fine, since we don't know how long it'll take for me to begin the gestation process, and it'll also give us a few more months to put money away.

How have things been going? I've been on leave for almost three months now. I'm going out of my mind with boredom. I'm also a little stir crazy, since we don't have the money to do anything. Then there's the fact that I have anxiety and a history of depression, which has been creeping back up on me. I ended up calling my company's EAP around 1am last night to talk to someone. I set up an appointment with a therapist, but it's not until the end of the month. Beyond that, things are okay.

Any R/R? My husband is currently obsessed with Lego Harry Potter for the Wii. He has a tendency to get sucked into it and forget that we're supposed to do something.

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood memory? Do teenage years count? Because if so, the day I met my best friend (I was fourteen and about two weeks into my freshman year of high school). If not... No idea. My childhood sucked.

catlady2015 · May 2017

@dreamscapes_ - I feel for you! Being home on leave would totally bring out my crazy. I had arm surgery 3 years ago now and I was off for two months, one month where I couldn't leave the house. I was going SO crazy six weeks in. As someone who has suffered from depression too, it's way too easy for that savage beast to take over! Your mental health is SO important. Take care of you.

PS - teenage years totally count!

dreamscapes_ · May 2017

@catlady2015 Thanks! Part of it is the fact that I can't DO anything. Even the stuff I have free access to, I can't do. Because I work at Disney, I have free admission to the theme parks, but I can't go to them because I can't walk around all day without being in severe pain. Our swimming pool has a tendency to be closed more often than not, and when we go to the park to go Pokemon hunting, I can only walk around so much before I need to rest. It's just hard. I also have this really annoying habit of bottling things up and not letting anyone know what's going on until I explode.

In other news, Crookshanks looks like a pig in the Lego Harry Potter video game O.o

maureenmce · May 2017

Are you benched or TTA?

We are TTA for now.

What brings you here?

Just passing the time while we wait to be ready to TTC baby #2!

How long do you think you'll be here?

This is something I keep going back and forth on. The latest plan was to start May 31st, but I am wavering on that. I am dying to have another baby, but I'm worried about finances. Saving money has been really tough since we're paying for daycare now, but we're going to be paying a lot more for daycare when #2 comes along. I don't want to wait too much longer (I'm 36, we may want to try for #3 before 40!) but if I gave us just another month or two it'd be a big savings because our LO would be in the preschool section of daycare by the time baby #2 started. So...long story short, we may start in July instead of May 31st. Or, I could just have baby fever so bad I say whatever, and we just go for it. We shall see! I SO wish you could just pick the month you'd actually be pregnant, because I'd pick September and then we'd be set. Alas!

How have things been going?
Good! Been slowly but steadily losing weight and I'm just 11 pounds from my TTC goal. Also finished a big writing project and I have 2 more I'd love to knock out before getting pregnant again and get sidelined by morning sickness.

Any R/R?

Nope!

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood memory?
Oh gosh, hard to say! I have great memories of hiking with my dad and brother, great memories of my grandmother's house with a full field in the backyard you could run through, and fun memories with my mom around Christmas time with our various traditions. Hard to pick just one!

glitzandglitter · May 2017

@Maureenmce - Yes! I am such a type A planner and I would really like to just pick the month I get pregnant and that everything just works out exactly like I want it too. WTG with your weight goal!!
@dreamscapes_ I am sorry you are having a rough time. Good for you for reaching out to talk to someone. I really hope they can figure your pain management soon.
@notthefather - Yay for new cabinets! I am sorry that you felt alone. I was in the position about a year ago - it sucks! I hope your DH catches baby fever soon!
@catlady2015 - I hope your DH's job stabilizes and that 6 weeks flies by for you!

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Originally, several things. But I am past almost all of them! Right now timing with work

How long do you think you'll be here? Depends - I am still waiting to hear about a supplement position at work. If I get that, then probably August. If not, I am thinking June, at the latest July.

How have things been going? Ok - I have been so busy so time has really been passing for me quickly. Work is a little stressful - it always is this time of year. I have a lot to tie up and I am waiting to hear about the supplement and also what my placement will be. I hope to stay in my grade level but there has been talk about moving me. Where they would move me would be my second choice but I would rather just stay where I am.

Any R/R? See above

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood memory? We used to take a family vacation to the beach every year. I loved it! DH and I took our boys for the first time last year on vacation to the beach. They loved it! Hopefully we can go again sometime.

CecilB93 · May 2017

@catlady2015 I hope the next six weeks go by quick for you!
@maureenmce I so wish we could plan when to be pregnant!! That would make life so much more fun, haha.

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? DH isn't ready, finances

How long do you think you'll be here? End of summer maybe, but now I'm thinking about due dates and I may decide to wait until at least October, maybe even November or December...ugh this sucks, but I want my kids spread out throughout the year. Current DS was born Feb 28th., so I'd love the next one to be born late summer/early fall

How have things been going? Not bad, DH refuses to even discuss baby #2 which is frustrating. Work has been kind of busy lately, so not much time for anything else really!!

Any R/R? See above I guess. Rave: I have tomorrow off! No plans though, may take DS to a park if the weather is nice.

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood memory? Holidays with my moms family. I only have 5 cousins (plus my sister) so we were all fairly close, we at least get along really well. I really miss my family getting together for holidays, but it's just not possible anymore

whitealbum29 · May 2017

dreamscapes_ - Ugh I feel you! Not totally the same but I was between jobs for a few months around the holidays waiting for things to pick up, and people would say "Oh, I kind of envy you, enjoy it!" I wasn't exactly in a vacation mindset though! I didn't feel like I could afford to really enjoy it/do anything other than job search.

Are you benched or TTA? -- TTA

What brings you here? -- Waiting to try till job situation is more stable. And on the board to commiserate/support!

How long do you think you'll be here? -- A while. Unless I get an amazing job really soon.

How have things been going? -- Pretty good the past few weeks...freelance jobs are my main focus lately and I worked on a project for a few weeks and hopefully have another one coming up. Other than that so glad it's springtime!!

Any R/R? -- Um, the doorknob to our apartment seems to be broken and the superintendent usually acts like we did something stupid to mess it up, when we call him to come fix it. (All we do is use it to open and close the door! That shouldn't break it!) Haha, not really that big a deal but I'm preparing to have that conversation later today.

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood memory? -- Hmm, my family has always gone to Rhode Island in the summer, we have an old farmhouse there that's been in the family forever, so all those memories are great!

notthefather · May 2017

@dreamscapes_: Glad you made the call to your therapist. I hope this month treats you well while you wait. It makes me so sad that you didn't have a good childhood

@maureenmce: It's frustrating to have to be responsible and plan your family around other things like finances. We're in a much better place now but there was a time when we would have really, really struggled to have two in daycare at once. It sucks how something so short term can affect the whole dynamics of your family.
@glitzandglitter: Hang in there! Your year is allllmost over! I hope you take some time to relax and unwind when all is said and done. Hope you hear about that position soon so you can plan ahead.
@CecilB93: Enjoy your day off tomorrow! I've been in the same place with DH before and know that it really, really sucks. I'm sorry you're having to go through that as well.
@whitealbum29: How annoying about your superintendent! The best part of apartments is that someone else has to handle repairs. Hope the conversation goes well!

dreamscapes_ · May 2017

@glitzandglitter Thanks. Today was a pretty good day, for the most part. What grade do you currently teach?

@CecilB93 I hope your DH decides he's ready soon! Or at least at the point that he's willing to discuss it. That has to be really frustrating.

@whitealbum29 I've had a couple of people tell me that, and when I explained the situation in full, they were like "...oh. Sorry." We did get me out of the house today, though, so that's a good thing. We went to Magic Kingdom and my DH pushed me around in a wheelchair. He really is a wonderful man. Good luck with the job situation! Hopefully something more stable will come along! Did your super fix the doorknob?

@notthefather Well, I don't technically have a therapist yet. I have an appointment with one, but we'll see how it goes. The EAP said that if it's not a good match, they'll give me a new referral. So we'll see what happens. As far as my childhood, such is life. Not everyone has a wonderful time as a kid, for one reason or another.

glitzandglitter · May 2017

@dreamscapes_ first grade and I love it!

whitealbum29 · May 2017

@dreamscapes_ Oh that's great that you got out and did something fun! Haha, after fiddling with it for like 30 minutes he finally just went and got us a new one! Probably a better idea than haphazardly fixing it the way he did a few months ago.

notthefather · May 2017

**Um, meant to post this in weekly fitness. Oops!**
Amiright?

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/uc/p7rdxx305fbu.jpg

dreamscapes_ · May 2017

@whitealbum29 It was nice to get out of the house! Of course, today, I'm at home again, but that's life. DH is stuck at work late. We were going to go see Guardians of the Galaxy tonight, but I don't think we'll have time by the time he gets home. I'm glad your super fixed the doorknob! That's always a good thing, when things get fixed the way they're supposed to.

@notthefather That loaded as I was eating lunch, lol. So, yes.

CecilB93 · May 2017

Well I finally discussed with DH. I forced him to listen to me because I knew he'd like what I had to say. I think that he thought I was going to beg to start trying now or next month or something, but I know that now is not the best time for us and I wanted him to understand that I know that. Originally I was thinking end of August, now I'm thinking later. Depending on if my period regulates to once a month (rather than once every 3 months like this last one) then probably October. If I'm super irregular still then I'll push to try a littler sooner, probable mid-end September. We'll be better financially and that puts our kids birthdays a few months apart. This is still only my second official period since the birth of DS 14.5 months ago, and the last one lasted 16 DAYS!!!

glitzandglitter · May 2017

@CecilB93 - Yay!! I'm so happy you had the talk and now have a timeline

dreamscapes_ · May 2017

@CecilB93 Is he willing to discuss it, now that he knows you're not looking at doing it right now? I'm glad you guys were able to talk about it! Can you talk to your doctor about the irregularities in your period? It shouldn't be lasting that long, even if it has been a while.

CecilB93 · May 2017

@dreamscapes_ if it does the same thing after this one then I plan to see someone. I've always been irregular unless I'm on a pill, but never really figured out why.

dreamscapes_ · May 2017

@CecilB93 Mine was irregular until recently (I was on birth control for a long time and ended it last July), but I have PCOS. It's part of that, which kinda sucks.

JNCPro3130 · May 2017

@cecilB93, 16 days?! Yikes! That's miserable! Hopefully that doesn't happen again! I know dreamscapes already said this, but I second talking to your doctor. A period every 3 months and then lasting that long is not fun!

I'm so glad you were able to have a good conversation with your husband! I think sometimes the first conversation is the hardest. Yay for a timeline!

CecilB93 · May 2017

They've always been about 7-9 days in the past, the 16 day was my first PP period, so not surprised it was funky.

@dreamscapes_ I've had someone ask me before if I have PCOS because of the irregularity, but I've never been diagnosed. That's something that would be found during regular paps right? Or even during an ultrasound since they look at the ovaries, too? As far as symptoms go, I've got irregular periods, acne (but fairly mild, flares up during certain times), I've had depression in the past. I'm not overweight, but I don't lose weight easily at all, it's actually quite difficult for me to lose, but not impossible. But I feel like that could all just be coincidence. The depression was bound to happen since both my parents went through it around the same age I did, and acne can be caused from other things, too. I've thought about asking a doctor if I have it, but I feel like it would have been mentioned/discovered at this point.

dreamscapes_ · May 2017

@CecilB93 I was diagnosed when I was 17 and I don't remember if she did a pap, but I know she didn't do an ultrasound. I'm also in a couple of PCOS groups on Facebook and there've been a number of women who weren't diagnosed until they were in their 30s or 40s. I'm not saying that you have it, since periods can be irregular for a million different reasons, it was just the reason I was curious

I hope you get an answer, though. Kinda hard to plan for babies when you don't know when you ovulate and all that.

CecilB93 · May 2017

Oh I definitely don't expect an ultrasound just to look for it, I just know when we had our anatomy scan with DS they also check the ovaries for whatever it is they check, lol. But maybe they would think at that point that I know? Idk. I'll definitely speak with an OB if this one is long/there is a long stretch of time without another again.

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