Mental Health Check-In

mothernorth · March 2017

I've seen these check-ins on some other boards, and think it couldn't hurt to start one. Sometimes you just need somewhere to leave all the crazy. Consider this your safe place!

Ladybug2821 · March 2017

I didn't realize how much having a baby and no support system would affect my relationship with H. I feel like we argue more now than we ever have and I thought it would be the opposite. I'm sure we just need some time for just the both of us but that is hard because I don't feel comfortable leaving her with anyone since I don't really know anyone. I know I will need to figure it out for the sake of our relationship. I have a friend from work that has offered but I just don't feel comfortable asking even though I am comfortable with her watching S. I may just have to suck it up.

mothernorth · March 2017

@Ladybug2821 It really does put so much strain on a relationship sometimes- trying to adjust to the reality and responsibilities of parenting is stressful on its own, but then add in the fact that both of you are new to this, trying to figure it out, and may not particularly agree with one another and it's even MORE stressful. It really is so important to spend time together as people and lovers though, and forget about being parents for a bit. I would take that coworker up on that offer, and there is no shame in doing so. If you are comfortable with it, go for it. You need it, you both do. It is so hard to be a good parent and a good partner when you just let all of the stress of it build up with no release. You have to take care of you, too mama. I can only imagine how hard it is without a support system, but use whatever resources you do have and never, ever feel guilty about it! I hope things start looking up for you guys soon ♡

fitlady21 · March 2017

+1 for not realizing how hard a baby is on marriage. I'm actually going on a weekend getaway with just the hubbie for our first trip away. Do I want to leave her? Hell no. But I know our marriage needs some attention with zero distractions. And I keep telling myself that although I love my daughter, our marriage has to come first because if my marriage isn't happy.. then that inevitably effects everything.

mothernorth · March 2017

@fitlady21 Exactly.

Ladybug2821 · March 2017

I don't think we had a Monday BF so I'm just going to put this here. I already know I'm going to be such a complainer today that I warned conworkers in advance lol. Sleep was horrible last night. S wouldn't stay asleep in her pack n play after 11. I really don't think that thing is comfortable so I think I'm going to move her to her room sooner than I wanted. So she slept with me which means I never fell into a deep sleep so no restful sleep for me. Woke up with a head ache and my back hurting. On top of that since yesterday I've been dealing with pain in my lower abdomen. It feels like its very heavy so I googled and could possibly be prolapse. I hope that is not the case. I didn't gain much weight during pregnancy or have a natural birth, and it's 5+ months pp. Wouldnt this have happened sooner? FX I was just sore for some reason. It does seem to be better today and I think I will start doing pelvic floor exercises just in case. Oh yeah and my stomach hurts wahhhhhh

mothernorth · April 2017

@Ladybug2821 I hope your day got better =/ also, if it makes you feel any better, it is probably not a prolapse you are experiencing and likely something far less sinister- I've gone to see my OB over abdominal/uterine pain before post partum, and come to find out I was just constipated

Now I'm not saying YOU'RE just constipated, just that it *could* be something harmless that will pass. Here's to a better Saturday!

Ladybug2821 · April 2017

@AllyTheKid Thanks! My day did get better but I am still dealing with the pain. My cousin suggested it could be a cyst which could also make sense based on the symptoms. I will wait and see if it improves.

mothernorth · April 2017

@Ladybug2821I used to get some gnarly cyats, but being pregnant and then going straight to birth control has kept them away. Pretty sure the only thing keeping a PCOS diagnosis from being made on my poor lumpy ovaries is/was the the fact that I was so slim when I last had them investigate. Other than that, I had all the tell-tale signs.

mothernorth · April 2017

@That went off topic and I didn't even finish my initial thought- yes, it could be a cyst based on what you described... cysts can be quite uncomfortable, but harmless for the most part, I hope you start feeling better soon no matter what though!

brzvice · April 2017

I like this thread

Lol! But seriously i've been bringing job stress home and have been a capital B at times basically because H was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I need to work on my tude' for sure. Don't want to set the wrong example on LO.

Ladybug2821 · April 2017

The exhaustion is starting to wear on me and I am forgetting everything. I'll be mid-sentence and lose track of what I'm saying. I know I shouldn't compare S to other LOs but I feel discouraged when I read other LOs taking great naps, falling asleep on their own, and STTN. It didn't help yesterday that the babysitter had a rough time getting S to sleep for her second nap. H and I still have a hard time with her sometimes. She is just such a fighter when it comes to a lot of things which isn't all bad, but I just wish it wasn't with sleeping. I didn't know how good I had it when she would only take 30 min naps but would sleep 8 hours straight at night. I wish I knew why that changed. I am almost 100% sure that I will be doing some sleep training in May. If H can't handle it, then he needs to just put on some headphones and go in the bedroom. He tends to be the one that has to get her when she's crying. Our relationship seems to have gotten better but I still get annoyed when he is off in the evening because he messes up our routine. If she wakes up just a short while after going down for the night, I let her cry for 10 mins and 85% of the time she's been able to put herself back to sleep. When he's home, I tell him to leave her be, give it 10 mins, and he can't make it past 3.

Kgridley27 · April 2017

I truly hope it gets better for you soon. Going without sleep is never easy, especially when you're not sure when the next truly restful sleep you might get is. I'm sorry, you've probably mentioned this in other threads but is she still in your room? Like, if H insists on getting up to soothe her, is there a way for you to stay sleeping and not really be bothered?

Also, if it makes you feel any better I am totally comparing my LO to your rockstar being able to pull herself up into a sit!

Ladybug2821 · April 2017

@Kgridley27 We just moved her to her room a few days ago. The sleep in between wake ups is better. Now I'm having to go across the house to her room for feedings so it's waking me up more in the MOTN. Leading to it taking awhile for me to go back to sleep. H thinks she needs to eat every time she wakes up so he's really no help when it comes to that. On the weekends I basically take over so he can relax and then go to work. I told him this weekend he will have to give me 2 hours to take a nap. I'm still bitter about losing my opportunity to nap when him and his family changed plans on me.

Kgridley27 · April 2017

Preach. Don't come between me and my sleep. I turn into a mean monster so quick.

fitlady21 · May 2017

This has been just a hard week for me! Might be due to lack of sleep but I just want to cry all the time! I have absolutely NO energy and just want to cry and sleep but can't do ether. I feel like I'm missing out on so much by working and that's really hard to deal with. Time is flying and I'm worried me not being home will negatively effect things.

also, as mentioned in another post, I'm so over pumping! It's awful. I'm not sure whay to do about it but it's negatively effecting my mental health. Yet if I quit, I'll be devastated because I love nursing her! Any advice? I pump while driving in my car and I just feel so lonely and degraded with my boobs out while driving down the road.

Ladybug2821 · May 2017

@fitlady21 Is it possibly for you to cut out a pumping session? I hated pumping when I first came back to work. I was able to go from 4 to 3 sessions and it has been better. Still annoying but I don't loathe it like I did. Lack of sleep can really play into your emotions and I completely understand how you feel. S had a horrible weekend sleep wise and was up at least 5 times both nights. I'm lucky if I got 4/5 hours of broken up sleep. It really effected me yesterday while I was at work because I was in such a bad mood. Last night she was back to 2 wake ups. Still sucks but I'll take that any day over 5+. So I'm feeling better today. No real advice on that front except just realize it won't be this way forever. I know that's easier said than done and hard to think that way in the moment but tomorrow is a new day and hopefully it'll be better. I'm still waiting for that night when I wake up and she hasn't. When will that happen?? Lol

fitlady21 · May 2017

@Ladybug2821 I might try cutting one out. I currently pump 3 times (every 3 hours) and am making 8-10 ounces more than she eats so I really don't need that last pump.

And im with you! I'm pretty sure I will panic whenever I wake up before her for the first time haha

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