Mental Health Check in Week of 5/1

Jens_Hoes · May 2017

How's everyone dealing with the last stretch of pregnancy? Dealing with NICU stresses? Dealing with PPD/PPA? Dealing with having a newborn?

BabyMC517 · May 2017

Meh...that's how I feel today. In such a grumpy mood...

SWoodd2012 · May 2017

I had an extremely overwhelming Saturday morning. Enough that my mother took one of the older kids to help with my stress level while DH was at work. The way I was venting has her thinking I have PPD. DH and I haven't noticed anything different from before baby...but I'm going to talk to my doctor at my 6 week appt next week anyway. Other than little man not letting momma sleep and mommy guilt for feeding issues we're doing well.

jayandaplus · May 2017

@SWoodd2012 I know it's easier aid than done, but try not to have guilt or feel bad about feeding issues! I'm sorry your Saturday was rough, but I'm glad your mom noticed and stepped in-- PPD or not, there's nothing wrong with her helping out when the stress level is high. I hope this week goes better!

@BabyMC517 I hope your day gets better, and if not, your week. Hang in there!

OmegaRose3 · May 2017

Been a little overwhelmed lately and DD has been on an anti-nap kick that is driving me absolutely nuts. She won't sleep so instead she decides to be unbearably grouchy and then someone always has something to say about it which doesn't help at all, just makes me feel like I'm failing at the one thing I'm tying so hard to get right.

@SWoodd2012 I hope things get easier for you. Try not to feel guilty over feedings, things will get into a better rythm. Glad you have family to help out!

@BabyMC517 I'm grumping right there with you! Hopefully things will be lwas meh soon

kns1988 · May 2017

@SWoodd2012, Sorry you're having feeding issues! I know the feeling.

This was our first full day home from the hospital and also in our new house. The house is coming together great, so most of that stress has been lifted. I spent half the day crying out of sheer exhaustion and desperation with feeding, though. It had both DH and I concerned about PPD, but hopefully it was just lack of sleep and hormones.

Things really improved this afternoon after we had our pediatrician appointment. Jay gained an ounce and a half and is up to 4 lb 7.5 oz, his temp was good, and he passed his bilirubin test so no more sticks in the foot. We talked to the doctor about how unsustainable the triple feeding was and that we wanted to try pumping and bottles, and the doctor was supportive of it. I went out and bought a Nuk bottle and Jay has had 2 amazing/easy feedings this evening. He's also still latching for a few minutes beforehand to stimulate my milk production, and I'm pumping afterwards. I feel so much more hopeful that I can do this.

SWoodd2012 · May 2017

Thanks @kns1988, @jayandaplus, and @OmegaRose3 I'm just guilty for not trying..I gave up and went the convenient route...I haven't pumped in 4 days

I let life "get in the way"

@kns1988 so glad to hear that doc was supportive of a new route for you guys! sending positive thoughts. I hope it was just the stress and exhaustion. hope feedings go much better for you!

@BabyMC517 hope your "meh" and grumpy day got better! those happen from time to time, hope tomorrow is much better!

@OmegaRose3 I'm sorry to hear about the nap issues... been there! You're not failing! everyone always has to have their 2 cents but do you best to block it out. hope tomorrow goes better and that DD isn't grouchy for you.

chailife34 · May 2017

@kns1988 @SWoodd2012 pumping in addition to nursing is so overwhelming. It's seriously a full time job, every 2-3 hours. What I would do for a full night's sleep.

Well, here goes my little rant.. to be honest I've been keeping a little distance because I've been so down lately and I don't want to bring negativity to our sweet happy board.

First let me say how grateful I am that we are finally home after so much time and effort and energy and emotion. So happy to be done with hospitals. I know the journey is just beginning for some mamas and has been ongoing for others, sending love to you all.

Now for the feelings.. I have been on pure survival mode since having Isaac and am still so numb. Pumping around the clock, clingy toddler, and tired spouse just start it.. we had drama getting him home (he failed the car seat test twice so after a huge ordeal, they sent us home with a car bed that I'm not convinced is safe and we have to return for retest in two weeks, which also means I'm not taking him out of the house for that long); we all had food poisoning with endless vomiting and diarrhea, as if it wasn't hard enough to stay hydrated and find sleep; and on top of the sundae of the last couple of days, today our bathroom sink, which is a glass bowl, shattered everywhere while DW was cleaning it so now we have no sink in our bathroom and have to replace it when we have no extra money. What the actual hell is going on in our lives? Why are things so hard right now?? It's like we're on the craziest rollercoaster. I swear we are good people and praying this isn't some karma come back.

I should be able to rest, recover, and snuggle with my new baby. Why is that so much to ask?

I can feel all of my emotions bottled up, stuffed down beneath the walls of survival. I can't even let myself start down that path. I know I'll need to but it's still so fresh and I'm the one taking care of everyone right now. Literally. If I fall apart, everyone else will too. I'm actually impressed with my own fortitude and strength these days. I don't know how I'm doing it.

Okay, enough. Thanks for reading. Now to pump and attempt sleep.

kns1988 · May 2017

@chailife34, I'm so sorry about your sink and the fact that you can't catch a break. It sounds like you're the rock in the family. Can DW take over some of the stuff that you've been taking care of? Be kind to yourself and your body. I didn't listen to the doctors and really pushed it over the weekend, and I'm so sore now... we need time to heal and rest (hard to find, I know).

mdlorenz · May 2017

@chailife34 I am so sorry to hear about all of the extra stress you're dealing with. Completely unfair. Try to focus on one thing you can control, even though there are many many things on your mind, and tackle that one thing. Then move to the next one thing. This is so hard. But you won't always feel this way.
I feel like I'm coming out on the other side of the post-NICU craziness, so trying to offer you hope that you can get through this. But I know how hard it is to believe that when you're in the middle of the storm. So many hugs.

@kns1988 Triple feeds are so exhausting. Be gentle on yourself. If you need a few days or weeks of just pumping and bottles to get you through the survival phase, that's okay. Really really okay.

You mamas are doing an AWESOME job, even when you feel the opposite. Keep your chin up, walk outside if you can, and let us (and your community IRL) know how you're doing. You'll get to the other side.

starphish18 · May 2017

@chailife34 Wow, I'm so sorry you've been hit with so many things. I agree with what others have said...maybe DW can focus on non-newborn things (like the sink), so you can mentally have that off your plate and just focus on you and the baby. And just take things one at a time. You WILL get through this hard part. And don't be afraid to let us know how you're feeling. I understand staying strong for your family and to get through this time. But we're here to listen and commiserate, and you don't have to be strong for us or worry about bringing negativity. We're here to help one another through all of it.

WombThereItIs · May 2017

@chailife34 I totally get stuffing things down because it would all be too much at once. I was really bad about that last time and some advice I hardly took but wish I had was no matter how overwhelmed and busy you are try to take a little bit of time for some self care. I know it seems like a frivolous expense of time or money but it can do wonders. Even if you just get to sit in a coffee shop with a book for 30 minutes while your wife has the kids across the street, try to take a few for yourself and recharge a little.

Random unsolicited sink thought, maybe your wife can look into if there is something like a Habitat for Humanity Restore near you? Or something similar with salvaged home fixtures? It could be a trip out for her and your toddler while you get some snuggles in with baby.

BabyMC517 · May 2017

@chailife34 what great advice you've gotten so far from PPs! I'm so sorry you're going through all of that on top of a newborn you just want to snuggle! Hopefully you can get some time in for yourself and your new LO. You can't be your best if you don't take care of you too. "You can't pour from an empty cup." ~no idea who said this, but I've always liked it and its a great reminder! Hang in there and sending so many positive vibes and creepy internet hugs!!

jayandaplus · May 2017

@chailife34 I'm so sorry you can't catch a break! It seems like months of hardship for you and your family. Hopefully this is the peak and it'll get easier, better, and you won't have these terrible things happening.

I understand you feel you have to keep it together for your family, and that you're the one taking care of everyone. But, that's not fair to you. You just had a baby, and you need to be the one is being helped. Do you have friends or family you can lean on? Have you talked to DW about how you're both feeling, and maybe about splitting up some of the responsibilities (i.e. your focus on Isaac, hers on Emilia, yours on feeding, hers on cleaning, etc.)?

I wish I could offer something more substantial, but just know you're never burdening our board. We're here for you!! Life is not all positivity, and especially given your situation, it would be abnormal if you weren't down and having a hard time. Just know that if it is too hard, you should ask for help-- you can always reach out. You can always vent to us here, but there's nothing wrong with needing real help, not just the emotional support. All we can provide is condolence and a good listening ear. There are resources in your community if you don't have family and friends. If you want help navigating any of that, let me know.

Thank you for keeping us posted. We want to know how you're doing, no matter what. Thinking about you!

Jens_Hoes · May 2017

@SWoodd2012 I'm so sorry to hear you've been struggling, but I'm glad you feel comfortable talking to your doctor. Maybe reach out to your DH or family to talk in the meantime?

@OmegaRose3 Hang in there! Cranky people make me cranky, especially this late in the pregnancy. Don't let what other's think impact you, you're doing a great job!

@kns1988 I'm glad you feel a bit relieved after talking with the doctor about the new plan. I can't imagine how difficult life must be, just know that you're doing what's best for your child.

@chailife34 I echo what many pp have said above. You need to make sure you feel ok before you can take care of those around you. We are here for you, so don't feel like you are ruining our butterflies and rainbows!! It is good to know that other mothers are struggling, because true life isn't always perfect. I know I worry that I won't be able to keep it together after birth, so its good to know I won't be alone. Hugs!

0408Bear · May 2017

I too have been distant a bit. I finally feel like things are looking up for us.DH has been back to work so my mom is helping, which I'm grateful for but she and I don't always see eye to eye. Being readmitted with Clara was so hard last week and I cried the whole time we were there. Nurses and Drs kept asking if I was ok and I was irritated because I knew that it would pass. I'm glad I got the tears out. I'm learning to take it all day by day and when both girls are in my lap I'm trying to appreciate the stillness of the moment.

To everyone struggling, know you aren't alone and May 17 rocks! I'm grateful to have a safe place to go to share.

jayandaplus · May 2017

@kns1988 I'm glad you have a good doctor who helped you with a new plan that feels better. I hope it works out to be better for all of you! I'm glad you're in your new home and it's coming together well. I hope things get easier day by day, but remember to be gentle to yourself. There's a lot of change (baby and otherwise) in your life right now, and that puts anyone in an emotional flux. You're doing awesome!

@0408Bear I'm glad to hear things feel like they're looking up! Hang in there!

SWoodd2012 · May 2017

@chailife34 I'm sorry things have been so rough! I second the other posts. Take some you time..even if it's just 5 minutes. Easier said than done, but it helps! Thinking of you guys with all the crazy. When were already stressed or loaded down everything seems to hit then; know you're not alone!

@0408Bear glad you have a good outlook now! Definitely appreciate the stillness. Hope things get easier. Keep the positive going! Day by day is the way to go!

Hugs and we'll wishes to all! We've got this..baby steps

Mental Health Check in Week of 5/1

Re: Mental Health Check in Week of 5/1

Choose Another Board

Search Boards