Thinking About TTC

Maggie1202 · April 2017

Hi! I'm new here, obviously! Additionally, if this is the wrong place to post this, please let me know!

I'm 28 and DH is almost 30. We will celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary in May and we had been TTC on and off for about a year and a half. We both really want kids and TTC took a lot out of me and hurt my mental health quite a bit. Having worked through that with a therapist and anti-anxiety meds, I am thinking about starting TTC again but I haven't talked to DH about it quite yet. I'm really nervous about talking to him and making him all excited about it and then having to quit again if my mental health takes a turn.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Does anyone have any tips or tricks that can help with that conversation? Or with keeping your mind steady while TTC? (I know that this is not a TTC board, but I'm more asking that question to the ladies who have siblings on the brain

)

TIA for the tips!

JennyColada · April 2017

Hi there! Welcome!

I thinking telling your DH exactly what you told us is perfect: that you want to consider trying, but that you want him to keep his expectation reasonable as well.

In my situation, my DH had been ready for kids from day 1 (we've been married 2.5 years and are just finishing our first cycle of TTC). We had a lot of conversations about my feelings of considering starting TTC. So we had to have a lot of heart to hearts that didn't involve his emotions running away with him. It was just a lot of blunt honesty and me explaining to him what I need from him in terms of support. But at the end of the day, it is an exciting thing, even if it doesn't work out perfectly. I totally understand your worries, and I'm sure he does too, so I think just being open and honest is the best way to go.

glitzandglitter · April 2017

Welcome

I agree with the PP as far as what to say to DH. I think you should be commended for making your mental health a priority and just being aware that it has been an issue in the past and mindful of the symptoms will be helpful going forward. I'm not currently TTC but in the past keeping myself busy has helped because it kept me from TTC being the only thing I would think about. Try something new - a new hobby or set a goal for your self not TTC to focus on.

ETA: to add that this board is kind of a mixed bag. We have women waiting to TTC and some who have started TTC. You are more than welcome to stay here and hang with us

TB is also a great resource when trying to keep your mind steady.

kindbytealikat · April 2017

Hi there and welcome!!! I'm sorry for what you've been through. Like it was said be blunt and honest with DH. I hope you stick around here and you should check in with TTC board because they've all been down this road too.

dreamscapes_ · May 2017

Welcome aboard! I agree with the others in that your best bet is to just be blunt with your husband. He needs to know about this. I also agree with @glitzandglitter as far as finding something to keep your mind off of it. We're not TTC yet, but I've been basically housebound for the last two months thanks to financial issues and a medical leave at work, so it's been fun finding stuff to keep myself occupied. I hope that when you guys do start, that you stay well mentally.

Maggie1202 · May 2017

Late reply, but I want to thank you all for your responses! I spoke with DH and he is totally on my side, whatever route we take.

Step one, I made a call to the fertility doctor that I was referred to!

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