FTM Questions for STM+ 4/26

afternoonduck · April 2017

Hey Ladies! Opening a new discussion because I had a little epiphany with my MIL.

She said she wished she had started 'prepping' her nipples for nursing from the beginning of her pregnancy. I know I will plan to BF if it works out the way I'd like (I am emotionally prepared for 'Fed is Best'), and I was wondering if anyone successfully (or not) toughened up their tits. If so, should I start now?

failuretofly · April 2017

Hahahaha oh man. I heard that one too. Ya... don't do it. If you have a proper latch, they shouldn't hurt. And if they do, it should go away within a couple of days. And if it doesn't, you should see a lactation consultant. scrubbing you nipples with a dry washcloth (how I was told to 'toughen' my nipples) is not the answer.

I remember when DS was little little, and I thought i had a good latch, and my midwife came to see us, and she watched me BF and asked how it felt... I thought okay, maybe a little pinchy but nothing I couldn't handle. She said okay enough, popped him off and replaced him with a good latch. It was like night and day. Plus, if your latch is poor resulting in painful nipples, that also means baby is probably not getting enough milk, not 'emptying' the breast and not stimulating you to make enough milk. A good latch is about so much more than just how it feels, it's about the whole process of breastfeeding being a success.

afternoonduck · April 2017

So with a good latch, chapped nipples shouldn't be a thing (or at least shouldn't be bad)?

failuretofly · April 2017

afternoonduck said:

So with a good latch, chapped nipples shouldn't be a thing (or at least shouldn't be bad)?

Exactly. I was lucky and had an amazing midwife who was very on top of making sure our latch was perfect, so I know some women who've had less supported experiences feel differently, but that was my experience. I highly recommend having a lactation consultant or someone who can support breastfeeding lined up before birth.

Jellybelly119 · April 2017

All the prepping in the world wouldn't have saved my nipples from absolute obliteration due to my son's tongue and lip ties! I probably shouldn't be answering and scaring you! In all honestly, if the baby has a good latch, your nipples get sore but it's pretty tolerable. I had no issues once his ties got revised. Also, nipple stimulation can cause contractions, so I'd personally avoid trying to "toughen" them up!

lestex · April 2017

I was fortunate/unfortunate enough to have a baby with a bad latch so I used a nipple shield for 5 weeks- it saved my nipples and eventually he learned to nurse without it. I would NOT suggest starting with a nipple shield- it's not ideal, but it saved my boobs and I didn't even know they existed until the hospital gave me one. Know that even if your baby has a bad latch or there are nursing problems, no matter what- you have options, you have support, and just feed that baby!

jljeanblanc · April 2017

That is an old wives tale as far as I know...I would focus on getting the right resources lined up (lactation consultant, midwife, nurse, friend who is currently BFing) before LO is born. I think BFing is the biggest thing FTMs are not prepared for. It may be a natural thing, but that doesn't mean its easy - you need HELP! Now I'll get off my soapbox.

Jellybelly119 · April 2017

Oh, and I'd recommend getting a LC and setting up an appt right away even if nothing seems wrong. They'll have awesome tips and help you out more than you could imagine. Find out how many visits your insurance covers and use them all!

jlemons-2 · April 2017

Definitely an old wives tale. I didn't have any issues with my nipples and I didn't do a dang thing to prepare them.

acgonzalez22 · April 2017

@Jellybelly119 All of that! DS's lip tie was the worst on my nips. Once it was fixed I had zero latch issues. Also, the breast gel pads and nipple ointment by earth mama were my saving grace.

@jljeanblanc I totally agree. Having a support system in place was huge for me. Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things ever!

grochril · April 2017

What kind of lotion or belly cream would all you STM recommend? When would you recommend starting to slab it on?

Jellybelly119 · April 2017

@acgonzalez22 It was seriously the worst! My LC stopped by the other day because she saw us outside and told me she shows people pictures of my nipples at conferences because she's never seen anything like it.

We made it to 13 months though!! I never could have done it without her help.

lablover920 · April 2017

@grochril unfortunately there is no miracle cream. Stretch marks are genetic and can show up during pregnancy or after labor. I didn't see any until after I gave birth. I used Belli and love all the products. Obviously anything helps but the end result is different person to person.

ngarciabyu · April 2017

I had general soreness and discomfort for several days with both of my babies. Nothing I would have troubled myself with during pregnancy though. Like some pp have said, if here is extreme pain and discomfort it's likely a latching issue that LCs can help with, or perhaps a tongue tie etc

b48kate · April 2017

As to the latch issue, there is an element of luck to it as well.

Three lactation consultants could not "fix" my son's latch or stop his weight loss. Breastfeeding was weeks of excruciating pain and suffering for me (followed by a month of pumping every two hours) and I regret not stopping all of it earlier.

Real talk, sometimes it doesn't work out.

There will be 5-10 ladies n this BMB who will be all about breastfeeding just to find out it won't work for some reason. I advise all FTMs to learn about formula feeding a bit so you don't find yourself confused, in tears and feeling like a "failure" during an already emotional time. Amazing science milk FTW!

missbmama · April 2017

@grochril I had awful stretch marks from my first pregnancy (thanks to an over abundance of fluids that stretched me to my limits) anyway my second pregnancy just intensified them. At the beginning of this year I started rubbing rosehip oil mixed with grape seed oil on them and they faded away to almost nothing. It's the first thing that actually gave me real results!
My lovely Great Dane got ahold of my mixture and ate it all unfortunately so I haven't done it in a couple of months lol.

NME44 · April 2017

b48kate said:

As to the latch issue, there is an element of luck to it as well.

Three lactation consultants could not "fix" my son's latch or stop his weight loss. Breastfeeding was weeks of excruciating pain and suffering for me (followed by a month of pumping every two hours) and I regret not stopping all of it earlier.

Real talk, sometimes it doesn't work out.

There will be 5-10 ladies n this BMB who will be all about breastfeeding just to find out it won't work for some reason. I advise all FTMs to learn about formula feeding a bit so you don't find yourself confused, in tears and feeling like a "failure" during an already emotional time. Amazing science milk FTW!

This. Breast feeding ultimately worked out with my son after struggling at first, but I just plain hated it! It was SO inconvenient to me. I ended up exclusively pumping for several months which I found so much better.

Then DD quit breastfeeding at 3 months. Like, just refused. So I decided to pump with her. Then I got a horrible sinus infection and had to quit altogether in order to take the steroids and antibiotics to get better.

drablnd · April 2017

Like pp poster stated. I was a bf "failure" and it caused my depression to worsen because I had put so much pressure on myself to bf that I had convinced myself I was failing my DD but in the end it was the best method all around. My DD actually slept for more than 20 min and wasn't screaming hysterical the rest of the time cause she wasn't getting enough to eat. Do research on both and go in with an open mind about everything and it will cause less disappointment and stress later on

failuretofly · April 2017

grochril said:

What kind of lotion or belly cream would all you STM recommend? When would you recommend starting to slab it on?

Okay here's my theory (completely unproven) on stretch marks. Our skin is made of cells, cells are made of cholesterol and fatty acids (well the cell walls anyways) so if you eat enough cholesterol and good quality fat (like animal fat and unprocessed vegetable fat) then your body will make good quality cells that can withstand the stretching required. Also there is a genetic element and the amount of weight gain will contribute as well. But I got zero stretch marks with DS and I really always focus on having a high intake of good quality fat. I also used anointment brand belly butter from 12 weeks on.

grochril · April 2017

@lablover920 @missbmama @kvacmak thank you all for the input! I'm sure it's 99% to do with genetics, but a little cream can't hurt

. I'll look up the products anyhow. And I agree with the good fat comment as well, what we put in our bodies goes a long way- not to mention hydrating, Im sure this also plays a large role in the bouncing back.

jljeanblanc · April 2017

@b48kate and @drablnd Totally agree. I ended up stopping BFing around 10 weeks because of DD's milk protein allergy among other things. She went on Nutramagin and then soy formula. I literally felt like a failure and cried for days and I don't want ANYONE else feeling that way. Fed is best. I second the thought of at least learning more about formula feeding - even if you don't need it, it can't hurt!

jljeanblanc · April 2017

I'll add that I'm hopeful that I can BF for much longer this time around but I won't beat myself up if it doesn't work out

Jellybelly119 · April 2017

So much yes to preparing for every way of feeding! DS went on a nursing strike everytime he had an ear infection, and I was at a total loss! What kind should I use? What kind will he actually drink? How do I mix it? I had a bunch of samples I had gotten free and we made it work between that and pumped milk, but I would have been a lot less stressed if I had given it some thought ahead of time!

Edit: typos

cutright1 · April 2017

Bfing will more than likely hurt at first, but don't get discouraged. I'm still bfing my 15 month old and we've had to use a nipple shield the whole time (unfortunately) due to me having very large breast but shorter nipples, making is hard for him to latch, so there are options. Also keep in mind that it can take up to 3 months for your breast to start regulating properly so you are leaking or getting engorged as much. But most improtantly, fed is always always always best

GraysonsMama · April 2017

Breastfeeding: My son wouldn't gain weight and I was at the Dr everyday, even Sundays, for the first two weeks getting weight checks and I met with a lactation consultant many times. I also couldn't pump hardly anything and ds acid reflux all meant we had to switch to formula.
With my dd she latched right away but want gaining weight either for a little while. I was able to pump and eventually was able to go back to exclusively breastfeeding. I'm still breastfeeding her at almost 13 months. With her though our journey breastfeeding almost ended when we got reoccurring thrush. In her mouth and g on my nipples. We spent months battling that and that stuff hurts. My advice is too leave your nipples free and out as much as possible. Especially when you're leaking a lot at the beginning.

tmk0325 · April 2017

@afternoonduck here's something I wish I would of known... it does take about 6 weeks for your nipples to "toughen" up. Those that say otherwise, must of had really good experience. Also, thursh is a real deal. For me, I couldn't even have my boobs face the shower stream because it hurt so bad. It wasn't til a few weeks in (I was also Exclusively Pumping because my boys were in the nicu) and several meetings with Lactation that someone finally suggested thursh. As soon as I got on diflucan (and I went through two rounds of it), things got much better. So, if the pain is really bad, there are probably underlying issues. I stopped EPing at 11 weeks. Don't feel bad if you need to stop breastfeeding/pumping, it is not for everyone. I had clogged ducts every other day and the last week every day and I couldn't get them out. I was miserable, so much so I'm debating going straight to formula with this one. I just want any new moms to know that it's ok if you can't or don't want to breast feed!

Taggarab · April 2017

Yeah, I don't know about all this it won't ever hurt. I bf for 21 months with my son and loved it, but those first weeks are uncomfortable. Even with a perfect latch, your nipples have to toughen up. I found that when he first latched on in the beginning it would be a quick jab of pain that went immediately away. Plus I had to cover my nips in the shower for a few weeks because I would hit the roof if a shot of water got me on one. I agree that you have to roll with the punches and some people just don't end up being able to bf, but I recommend trying for a few weeks before totally throwing in the towel.

As as far as stretch marks, none of the women in my family have gotten them on our stomachs. I did get some crazy looking ones under my boobs though. Haha! So I think genetics definitely plays a roll.

mrsorigami · April 2017

grochril said:

What kind of lotion or belly cream would all you STM recommend? When would you recommend starting to slab it on?

Following this. Because i didn't really have stretch marks with dd. But after she was born and everything went back into place i had these deep dark red stretch marks. Like the skin for these marks was very fragile. Almost like they needed
collagen! And some have actually changed over time. I need to definitely treat my skin differently this go around to help prevent this from happening again after this baby arrives. Open to any tips!

mrsorigami · April 2017

Also for the original question. I had an ideal breastfeeding experience with dd. I remember feeling a "ping" sensation at the hospital with her signaling my milk production (even though she was only getting colustrum). I did not prep my breasts or nipples. She latched great and we didn't have any issues. It was a different feeling and took some getting used to but it also felt like
the most natural thing in the world. I feel really lucky and fortunate and am very thankful we had such success at it.

So, i don't think prepping like that is necessary but it is a great idea to take a class on Bfing if it is something you really want to try/do for your baby.

everyone is different and has different levels of sensitivity and such too. And latch is the most important! Dr. Jack Newman also has a lot of great and helpful information about Bfing.

TigerCakes · April 2017

My DS was in the NICU so I started out exclusively pumping. He was released after 2 weeks and we started trying breast feeding. Unfortunately, he had a tongue and lip tie so he wasn't getting much breast feeding and it was very painful for me. By the time we got his ties fixed he had been exclusively bottle fed for almost a month. It took until he was 2.5 months old but we got the hang of breast feeding and I exclusively breast fed until 8 months. It wasn't painful at all once we got the hang of it! I wish I went longer, but I was traveling a lot for work and it got to be too much.

failuretofly · April 2017

Oh man! the nips in the shower were AWFUL @Taggarab ! So glad I read somewhere to wear a bikini top in the shower those first weeks, it was a life saver! Also, as a side note, its hilarious to try and fit your super engorged boobs in one of your pre-pregnancy bikini tops hahaha

pandawares · April 2017

If you're even considering breastfeeding, I highly recommend going to a few La Leche League meetings before you deliver. It's encouraged, and those ladies REALLY know what they're talking about! DS nursed until a few weeks after he turned 2. We had thrush for 7.5 months. It was excruciating, but we did it. A little determination can go a long way. I also had to start off on a nipple shield (flat nipples and NICU baby), and it was frustrating to get off, but I may not have been able to nurse without it. I have a friend who wanted to nurse her first two but was unable to because of bad advice. I only trust LLL publications and Kelly Mom.

pandawares · April 2017

As for skin, I'm going to start using The Healer skin stick by Perfectly Posh. My stretch marks started at my hips around 6 weeks with DS and inched their way down the backs of my legs throughout my pregnancy. They end halfway down my calves -- if I'd gone to term, they'd probably be to my ankles!

pandawares · April 2017

Worst case scenario, you won't notice the stretch marks when your baby turns two because you'll be too exhausted to look in the mirror!

cait5413 · April 2017

I echo PP's in saying no nipple prep. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by the LaLecheLeague was helpful for me in preparing (though the title still seems ridiculous to me). I went back to work part-time when DD was only a couple weeks old, so we bf'ed and pumped almost from the beginning. I only started having trouble once we got pg with this one and have had to supplement some formula. Fed is best--you do what you have to do. BF'ing is great--it's cheap, it's nutritious, it's natural, and the antibodies are awesome--but some recent research doesn't really support that BF babies do any better long-term (in terms of intelligence, etc) than formula babies. Formula is not a terrible choice. But, the mom guilt is real. Even though I know happy, healthy formula-fed babies, I still felt like a failure when I had to start supplementing (pregnancy hormones probably don't help the rational thinking on that). I think part of that was that we got pg sooner than we planned and I feel a little guilty about not having more time with just DD. I'm getting over it!

As for stretch marks, I used Palmer's Cocoa butter during my last pregnancy, almost from the beginning. I only got a few new stretch marks in the last few days (but I also used to be pretty fat, so I already had some!) It really is mostly genetics, but some lotion doesn't hurt! I love the way the cocoa butter smells, personally. They do fade over time, too.

FTM Questions for STM+ 4/26

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