Damnit I had a good one yesterday.... and didn't write it down. I'll think of it and be back, I'm sure!!
ETA: Literally as soon as I hit post, I remembered: I think third trimester is easier/better than first tri. I didn't even throw up in first tri but now I have the excitement of actually meeting her to get me through plus I mostly love all the movements on the inside. AND people know why I'm miserable instead of it being a big secret!
I don't like double door refrigerators. The refrigerator is too narrow when one side is fridge and one side is freezer. I either want the bottom pull out drawer or give me an old school refrigerator!
I don't like Jimmy John's. Now, I don't like deli meat which means either their tuna or italian has to kick butt and well, I just dont think it does. They're better than Subway, but Firehouse is my favorite or Which wich.
@nda_roxybabe - I also dislike Jimmy John's and am always given a hard time about it. I'm really particular about meat (don't like JJ or Subway meat), so usually get a veggie or veggie patty at Subway. Which Which or Potbelly are much, much better.
My UO: I don't think men going out of their way (ie running ahead or going around to the other side of the car) to open the door for women is "chivalrous" - especially when these men refuse to hold the door open for other men. Just hold doors for other humans who are walking in behind you, no matter what kind of genitals they have. Selectively doing so for women = basically implying they are weaker in some way. It makes me uncomfortable.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
My UO: I don't think men going out of their way (ie running ahead or going around to the other side of the car) to open the door for women is "chivalrous" - especially when these men refuse to hold the door open for other men. Just hold doors for other humans who are walking in behind you, no matter what kind of genitals they have. Selectively doing so for women = basically implying they are weaker in some way. It makes me uncomfortable.
I'm all for moms planning/hoping for/ executing the birth experience of their dreams. However, I think that birth is a medical event and should be at a hospital or birth center. I think home births are very risky for mom and baby. I have several friends who unexpectedly hemorrhaged during birth and would not have made it to the hospital had they been at home. My best friend is also a NICU nurse and lost babies that didn't make it to their unit in time because they were home births. You can absolutely do you, but this is my opinion.
And because I'm going for a double whammy and hoping work isn't too nuts today so as not to post and ghost: I think there's a lore similar to lactivism that surrounds the OB vs. Midwife and Hospital vs. Birth Center opinions. I don't think you can make blanket statements about all OBs or all midwives. Just like fed is best, so long as you are in a medical facility (to include a birth center) and have access to appropriate medical care, birth is best. How you do that is up to you.
I'm all for moms planning/hoping for/ executing the birth experience of their dreams. However, I think that birth is a medical event and should be at a hospital or birth center. I think home births are very risky for mom and baby. I have several friends who unexpectedly hemorrhaged during birth and would not have made it to the hospital had they been at home. My best friend is also a NICU nurse and lost babies that didn't make it to their unit in time because they were home births. You can absolutely do you, but this is my opinion.
And because I'm going for a double whammy and hoping work isn't too nuts today so as not to post and ghost: I think there's a lore similar to lactivism that surrounds the OB vs. Midwife and Hospital vs. Birth Center opinions. I don't think you can make blanket statements about all OBs or all midwives. Just like fed is best, so long as you are in a medical facility (to include a birth center) and have access to appropriate medical care, birth is best. How you do that is up to you.
So much yes to all of this. There are so many unknowns in the birth process- even if you have the textbook pregnancy, it doesn't take much to create a medical emergency during delivery. I'd even go so far as to say that, in my opinion, home birth is a selfish, naive choice. I don't understand this trendy notion that birth is not a medical event....it absolutely, 100% is.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
I know there can be complications/pains surrounding them, but my UO is that the catheter was the second best part of my epidural last time (and I'm looking forward to it again!). HELLO! After 9+ months of frequent bathroom trips, they stop cold turkey! I remember telling my husband I wished I had had a catheter for home use while pregnant!
I know our ladies here have done their due diligence on choosing their birth experience and they all sound quite realistic about their expectations. It's SO not for me though and I do usually side eye those sorts of decisions, though it's harder when I like these ladies so I do respect their decisions and I think they've put proper thought into it. I had an uber crunchy friend tell me I don't want to birth at the hospital I'm birthing at because they're not natural friendly (they're actually fairly open either way) and that I should birth at local birthing center place. Yea, that's SO not for me. I told her I'd rather be strapped to a sterile metal table in a hospital than have a real bed and nightstands in a center. I've seen SIL on the verge of transfusion after baby #1, serious *TW* with #2, issues with #3...had she not been in a hospital, IDK... I know that's anecdotal, but it's enough for me.
Along these same lines... Sigh, I had another UO, but I forgot...
I disagree with planned inductions before 40 weeks, UNLESS there's a medical issue (we've had a few here!). My Dr. will only let me go a week past my due date and I am grateful for that. I know a lot of people would argue I should be allowed to further beyond that, but I feel at a certain point it's just so much safer to have baby on the outside.
After SIL had her *TW* with #2 we were all a horrible nervous wreck with #3 and #4. #3 they did weekly amnio's after 36 weeks to see if she was ready to come out. She was going to skip the amnio's with #4 and let her come on her own, but after a scary period of no movement she opted for an amnio again only to find out the lungs weren't 100%, which sucked. Luckily the little lady ended up coming on her own shortly after and was fine!
Phew, anyways...I think beyond 40 weeks, even if there's no specific medical issue its fair game. The lack of control at a certain point is scary.
I'm all for moms planning/hoping for/ executing the birth experience of their dreams. However, I think that birth is a medical event and should be at a hospital or birth center. I think home births are very risky for mom and baby. I have several friends who unexpectedly hemorrhaged during birth and would not have made it to the hospital had they been at home. My best friend is also a NICU nurse and lost babies that didn't make it to their unit in time because they were home births. You can absolutely do you, but this is my opinion.
And because I'm going for a double whammy and hoping work isn't too nuts today so as not to post and ghost: I think there's a lore similar to lactivism that surrounds the OB vs. Midwife and Hospital vs. Birth Center opinions. I don't think you can make blanket statements about all OBs or all midwives. Just like fed is best, so long as you are in a medical facility (to include a birth center) and have access to appropriate medical care, birth is best. How you do that is up to you.
I love so much of all of this. Just make sure baby and mom are properly monitored/cared for, and let everyone do what they feel is best.
I disagree with planned inductions before 40 weeks, UNLESS there's a medical issue (we've had a few here!). My Dr. will only let me go a week past my due date and I am grateful for that. I know a lot of people would argue I should be allowed to further beyond that, but I feel at a certain point it's just so much safer to have baby on the outside.
I used to be in that camp until I became someone with a scheduled cesarean at 39w1d this time. I logically can't wrap my head around how that is a backup plan when I want a TOLAC but apparently there is a lot of research and evidence that suggests it is safer to do a repeat cesarean, if needed, before 40w.
So I guess my point is I didn't go to medical school and there is a lot I don't know so while some things seem counterintuitive to me I have to at some point trust my provider. Maybe my UO is that I think the "let baby bake as long as possible" thing is overblown. There is a lot more nuance than that philosophy allows.
I kind of put home birth in with anti vaxers in that it's unchecked privilege. There are so many third world moms who would probably love to be able to have a child in a controlled environment versus risking their life. And I know for a fact that many of these moms walk miles to get their children vaccinated to prevent them from dying from preventable disease.
I disagree with planned inductions before 40 weeks, UNLESS there's a medical issue (we've had a few here!). My Dr. will only let me go a week past my due date and I am grateful for that. I know a lot of people would argue I should be allowed to further beyond that, but I feel at a certain point it's just so much safer to have baby on the outside.
I used to be in that camp until I became someone with a scheduled cesarean at 39w1d this time. I logically can't wrap my head around how that is a backup plan when I want a TOLAC but apparently there is a lot of research and evidence that suggests it is safer to do a repeat cesarean, if needed, before 40w.
So I guess my point is I didn't go to medical school and there is a lot I don't know so while some things seem counterintuitive to me I have to at some point trust my provider. Maybe my UO is that I think the "let baby bake as long as possible" thing is overblown. There is a lot more nuance than that philosophy allows.
I got confused. You agree with me that beyond 40 weeks (unless a medical issue, which I would consider yours) letting the baby bake is overblown?
I kind of put home birth in with anti vaxers in that it's unchecked privilege. There are so many third world moms who would probably love to be able to have a child in a controlled environment versus risking their life. And I know for a fact that many of these moms walk miles to get their children vaccinated to prevent them from dying from preventable disease.
This is quite possibly the best argument against home births I have ever read.
I kind of put home birth in with anti vaxers in that it's unchecked privilege. There are so many third world moms who would probably love to be able to have a child in a controlled environment versus risking their life. And I know for a fact that many of these moms walk miles to get their children vaccinated to prevent them from dying from preventable disease.
Thaaaank you.
ETA: I think this goes along with the argument of "well women have been giving birth this way for centuries". Yet look how far we've come in terms of mortality rates, infection, etc during pregnancy/delivery. The medical field has advanced SO much, I can't understand not taking advantage of it.
I kind of put home birth in with anti vaxers in that it's unchecked privilege. There are so many third world moms who would probably love to be able to have a child in a controlled environment versus risking their life. And I know for a fact that many of these moms walk miles to get their children vaccinated to prevent them from dying from preventable disease.
Thaaaank you.
ETA: I think this goes along with the argument of "well women have been giving birth this way for centuries". Yet look how far we've come in terms of mortality rates, infection, etc during pregnancy/delivery. The medical field has advanced SO much, I can't understand not taking advantage of it.
I hate that argument. That's what crunchy friend kept trying to tell me "Womens bodies are made to do this. The women in my family have done it for centuries with no intervention". Yes and yes, buuuut...the mortality rates! Same goes with car seat safety, safe sleep, vacc's...
I think we're lucky to live in a time where hospitals understand the importance skin-to-skin and bonding. Though I have NO DESIRE to have a home birth and 100% agree the hospital is best prepared, my Mom had both my brother & I at home with a midwife. Her reason to me was that hospitals at the time were so cold and uncaring and would yank your baby away, spank them, and stick them in a nursery. But as I understand it no one even has the babies lined up in a nursery anymore because they now know the scientific and emotional benefit of "rooming in".
I will add that in her older age my mom has become a VERY frustrating extremist about everything being "natural", so I trust her comprehension of what a hospital actually did back then less & less as time goes on. She almost has an evangelical conviction about it and gives advice to help constantly, but instead it feels like she's trying to "save" me. She is extremely concerned that I have switched from Zantac 75 to Zantac 150. She also told me she didn't eat healthy when she was pregnant with me because the eggs weren't organic and the tuna probably had too much mercury in it. I still think eggs & tuna are healthy choices, even if you don't buy it at Whole Foods, mom! I honestly think if she had us kids now she *might* be an anti-vaxxer...Therapy session over, lol!
I agree with @nda_roxybabe that it's ultimately to each their own, but I personally also am camp hospital!
Damnit I had a good one yesterday.... and didn't write it down. I'll think of it and be back, I'm sure!!
ETA: Literally as soon as I hit post, I remembered: I think third trimester is easier/better than first tri. I didn't even throw up in first tri but now I have the excitement of actually meeting her to get me through plus I mostly love all the movements on the inside. AND people know why I'm miserable instead of it being a big secret!
For me it has depended on the pregnancy because I always get SPD and this is a huge horrible shitshow in 3rd tri, but overall I'd say I agree! Especially when I factor in this pregnancy, because my SPD has somehow been really not that bad! And I apparently look healthy so not only is it no secret as to what I'm going through, I have people saying, "you look GREAT" left and right, definitely unlike last time when I gained 50+ lbs, haha
I'm not sure if this is really an UO, but not only do I judge the f out of people who use incorrect grammar in professional context (not on something like this, FB or texts!), but I will completely dismiss people because of it. When I was in HR, if you had a typo on your resume or annual review, it was an automatic pass from me. A recruiter just contacted me and wished me luck with our new "edition" after I told him I wasn't interested until Q4 due to the pending little human arrival. Um, I disconnected on LinkedIn. Bye bye.
I kind of put home birth in with anti vaxers in that it's unchecked privilege. There are so many third world moms who would probably love to be able to have a child in a controlled environment versus risking their life. And I know for a fact that many of these moms walk miles to get their children vaccinated to prevent them from dying from preventable disease.
Thaaaank you.
ETA: I think this goes along with the argument of "well women have been giving birth this way for centuries". Yet look how far we've come in terms of mortality rates, infection, etc during pregnancy/delivery. The medical field has advanced SO much, I can't understand not taking advantage of it.
I hate that argument. That's what crunchy friend kept trying to tell me "Womens bodies are made to do this. The women in my family have done it for centuries with no intervention". Yes and yes, buuuut...the mortality rates! Same goes with car seat safety, safe sleep, vacc's...
I also hate this argument! It is such a logical fallacy. It's like, "I didn't have a carseat and I turned out fine!" Survivor bias! Your dead friend isn't here to say "I died because I didn't have a carseat."
All of this said, I am comfortable with the fact that I'm doing a birth center birth and I do think our bodies are "made" to do this. But I would never do it if it weren't for the hospital across the street and very good numbers from this place, as well as their emphasis on evidence based medicine in general. And that I've already birthed two children without complications in the past, so I have a pretty good track record of being extremely low risk myself. I have nothing whatsoever against hospitals (in fact my ideal situation would be midwife care in a hospital but it didn't work out under my insurance in my area) but I do think that some practices have a norm of too much intervention that ends up leading to worse consequences for the mother and/or baby (e.g. more c-sections, inductions, episiotomies, etc.)
@nda_roxybabe - I also dislike Jimmy John's and am always given a hard time about it. I'm really particular about meat (don't like JJ or Subway meat), so usually get a veggie or veggie patty at Subway. Which Which or Potbelly are much, much better.
My UO: I don't think men going out of their way (ie running ahead or going around to the other side of the car) to open the door for women is "chivalrous" - especially when these men refuse to hold the door open for other men. Just hold doors for other humans who are walking in behind you, no matter what kind of genitals they have. Selectively doing so for women = basically implying they are weaker in some way. It makes me uncomfortable.
YES I hate when men go around to open the door for me. Not that this really happens. Though the other day I requested DH to do it because our driveway is a bit on a hill and the door doesn't stay open. Getting out pregnant is kind of hard these days! So when I had him along it was awesome to have his help. But for 99% of my life no I don't want someone else getting me out of my car....
I like when Men (and women!) open the door. H always has me wait for him to open the door for me which makes me feel like a jerk sometimes, haha. He holds the door for men and women alike though.
I am a fence sitter on the holding doors thing. I hold the door for people all the time and like when people do it for me. I will straight up judge if you let it slam in my face especially when obviously pregnant or carrying something. I mean how hard is it to just do the extra push thing to make the door stay open a second longer after you are through it. I appreciate when H opens the door when I am getting into the car. It feels like he is trying to take care of me. It is not all the time, so it feels a little special when he does it. Like it is a date or something. I am not about to wait for him to open my door so I can get out though. Some people make it feel like a kind gesture and others have a way of making it feel like I am incapable. I appreciate the kind gesture people.
@emilyalso - OMG, yes with the catheter. Those first couple hours post-epidural were some of the most relaxing ever. I could finally rest, and I didn't have to get up to pee!
Going off of what @saric83 said, my UO is: Cursive writing should still be taught, learned, and practiced in our kids' daily lives. I will absolutely teach my children how to read and write in cursive. All of this nonsense about "all we do is email and text nowadays so it doesn't need to be learned anymore" is complete bullshit. How else will my kids learn to sign their names? Or write a check? Or send real thank-you notes? I understand the argument about the current state of school funding cuts, the arts always suffer, and horrible staffing shortages (lots of teachers in my fam!), I get all of that, but society is already on a downward very-steep slope (nearly vertical) in so many areas of civility, common sense, and general decency, that if no one speaks up on the lowly cursive's behalf, everyone's just gonna be "more stupider" and I kid you not the movie Idiocracy will be for real in like 50 years from now.
@saric83 I read your post weird and was like "is this in the publishing industry because 'new edition' is a cutely clever pun?" and then realized what they meant! I agree with you on both counts--that grammar detail is important in formal contexts, but that people can be a little more slack on social media/informal contexts. I get irritated when people stomp around online critiquing language minutiae as a "gotcha." All is forgiven if they have grammatical errors in their smug corrective posts, though, because that's never not hilarious.
I know this is the UO thread and no place for kitten cupcake rainbows but you guys can I just reiterate how great it is that this group is generally on the same science-y page when it comes to vaxxing, birthing, child rearing, etc. I live in a notoriously crunchy west coast city and those topics can be a minefield.
In regards to homebirth jim gaffigan has a stand up bit about it. He has 6 kids all born at home "because hospitals are where sick people go" anyway it was interesting hearing his pov but so not my thing. I wish I could have a water birth at the hospital not just labor in the water but that's not offered so whatever lol
Re: UO 4/27
ETA: Literally as soon as I hit post, I remembered: I think third trimester is easier/better than first tri. I didn't even throw up in first tri but now I have the excitement of actually meeting her to get me through plus I mostly love all the movements on the inside. AND people know why I'm miserable instead of it being a big secret!
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
My UO: I don't think men going out of their way (ie running ahead or going around to the other side of the car) to open the door for women is "chivalrous" - especially when these men refuse to hold the door open for other men. Just hold doors for other humans who are walking in behind you, no matter what kind of genitals they have. Selectively doing so for women = basically implying they are weaker in some way. It makes me uncomfortable.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
And because I'm going for a double whammy and hoping work isn't too nuts today so as not to post and ghost: I think there's a lore similar to lactivism that surrounds the OB vs. Midwife and Hospital vs. Birth Center opinions. I don't think you can make blanket statements about all OBs or all midwives. Just like fed is best, so long as you are in a medical facility (to include a birth center) and have access to appropriate medical care, birth is best. How you do that is up to you.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
I had an uber crunchy friend tell me I don't want to birth at the hospital I'm birthing at because they're not natural friendly (they're actually fairly open either way) and that I should birth at local birthing center place. Yea, that's SO not for me. I told her I'd rather be strapped to a sterile metal table in a hospital than have a real bed and nightstands in a center.
I've seen SIL on the verge of transfusion after baby #1, serious *TW* with #2, issues with #3...had she not been in a hospital, IDK... I know that's anecdotal, but it's enough for me.
Along these same lines... Sigh, I had another UO, but I forgot...
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
I disagree with planned inductions before 40 weeks, UNLESS there's a medical issue (we've had a few here!). My Dr. will only let me go a week past my due date and I am grateful for that. I know a lot of people would argue I should be allowed to further beyond that, but I feel at a certain point it's just so much safer to have baby on the outside.
After SIL had her *TW* with #2 we were all a horrible nervous wreck with #3 and #4. #3 they did weekly amnio's after 36 weeks to see if she was ready to come out. She was going to skip the amnio's with #4 and let her come on her own, but after a scary period of no movement she opted for an amnio again only to find out the lungs weren't 100%, which sucked. Luckily the little lady ended up coming on her own shortly after and was fine!
Phew, anyways...I think beyond 40 weeks, even if there's no specific medical issue its fair game. The lack of control at a certain point is scary.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
So I guess my point is I didn't go to medical school and there is a lot I don't know so while some things seem counterintuitive to me I have to at some point trust my provider. Maybe my UO is that I think the "let baby bake as long as possible" thing is overblown. There is a lot more nuance than that philosophy allows.
May '17 labor memes
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Yeah I think we are on the same page. I totally misread that as... god I don't even know. How am I allowed to drive a car these day? Sheeh.
May '17 labor memes
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
ETA: I think this goes along with the argument of "well women have been giving birth this way for centuries". Yet look how far we've come in terms of mortality rates, infection, etc during pregnancy/delivery. The medical field has advanced SO much, I can't understand not taking advantage of it.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Edit: The wink is because I will happily take all of your caramel.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
I will add that in her older age my mom has become a VERY frustrating extremist about everything being "natural", so I trust her comprehension of what a hospital actually did back then less & less as time goes on. She almost has an evangelical conviction about it and gives advice to help constantly, but instead it feels like she's trying to "save" me. She is extremely concerned that I have switched from Zantac 75 to Zantac 150. She also told me she didn't eat healthy when she was pregnant with me because the eggs weren't organic and the tuna probably had too much mercury in it. I still think eggs & tuna are healthy choices, even if you don't buy it at Whole Foods, mom! I honestly think if she had us kids now she *might* be an anti-vaxxer...Therapy session over, lol!
I agree with @nda_roxybabe that it's ultimately to each their own, but I personally also am camp hospital!
All of this said, I am comfortable with the fact that I'm doing a birth center birth and I do think our bodies are "made" to do this. But I would never do it if it weren't for the hospital across the street and very good numbers from this place, as well as their emphasis on evidence based medicine in general. And that I've already birthed two children without complications in the past, so I have a pretty good track record of being extremely low risk myself. I have nothing whatsoever against hospitals (in fact my ideal situation would be midwife care in a hospital but it didn't work out under my insurance in my area) but I do think that some practices have a norm of too much intervention that ends up leading to worse consequences for the mother and/or baby (e.g. more c-sections, inductions, episiotomies, etc.)
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
@saric83 - New edition, ha!
I know this is the UO thread and no place for kitten cupcake rainbows but you guys can I just reiterate how great it is that this group is generally on the same science-y page when it comes to vaxxing, birthing, child rearing, etc. I live in a notoriously crunchy west coast city and those topics can be a minefield.
https://www.collegehumor.com/post/6788004/tenure-review-for-fictional-teachers?utm_source=Facebook.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=CHButtonMagicBusVaccine
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin