We found out on Tuesday that our baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. I went in for my first appointment and should have been 9 weeks along. I feel guilty posting here or really being heartbroken because we are so blessed to have our kids. So many of my friends are struggling to conceive. So many stories on here bring tears to my eyes, and I feel selfish for wanting this baby to live so badly.
I just don't know how to process this. I feel like I did something to make this happen or ate something I shouldn't have. Logically I know that isn't likely, but my brain keeps running through the past few weeks. I also feel betrayed by my body because I still feel pregnant. I told the doctor I wanted to just give it a week, but I called today for a D&C. I can't function and my family needs me.
My husband has been amazing. He bought a beautiful oak tree and planted it in the front yard as a memorial.
I have the D&C Friday. I'm not handling this well and am seriously considering counseling if I can't pull myself out of this.
DD - 11/05/09
DS #1 - 07/12/11
DS #2 - 06/24/14
MMC/D&C 04/14/17 at 9 weeks
DD #2 - 2/13/18