::: TTCAL Check in 4/17 ::::

ladipale · April 2017

1. Introduce yourself (if new).
2. Status?
3. R/R?
4. GTKY: what is your favorite time of day? Why?

ladipale · April 2017

1. Not new. Two 2nd tri losses in 12 months. Latest was in late January

2. TWW - but we didn't have great timing this month. We are NTNP but having sex every other day or every day (my DH's stress relief) so we only didn't have great timing because I was out of town when I likely ovulated.

3. Easter is over. Holidays are hard post loss. Rave: I'm super close to having my barre certification! Its been hard work but fun.

4. Early morning. I have always loved getting up before most of the world. Its much harder now with kids but my days are always better when I'm up and ready before they are or get up and go work out and come home when they are awake.

Mack2342 · April 2017

1. Introduce yourself (if new).

not new. Just had 2nd loss.

2. Status? Kind of benched. Just waiting for AF so we can start IUI process

3. R/R? Glad Easter is over. Holidays are hard. I saw my family for the first time since 2nd loss and it was difficult. I sobbed like a baby when I left yesterday
Also I had to take DS to doctor this mornyand he has hand foot and mouth virus. He is miserable and feel. Ad cuz I can't help him.

4. GTKY: what is your favorite time of day? Why?i used to be early morning person but now my favorite part of day is when work day is over and I can spend time with DH and DS.

ladipale · April 2017

@Mack2342 - even though my loss was back in January, it was first time I saw my family as well. Including meeting my sister's new baby. It hurt so bad. so hard. And oh no on the HFM

My daughter had it in the fall and it was brutal! Hope he feels better soon! Lots of popsicles.

vlagrl29 · April 2017

Not new - CP in December - 3rd cycle TTCAL

R/R - no rants today. I had a lot on my mind last week and I wrote it all out on paper. Goals and such for this year. I'm feeling so much better mentally! Not tracking my cycle and just having sex when we feel like it. I'm feeling so much more optimistic about the future. One of my goals this year is to go on more dates with DH - the last couple years have been kinda harder for us. Some things I wrote down are simple - planting flowers, hanging up photos on our walls. Others cost money - landscape front yard saving for hard wood floors. Some are cleaning out and letting go like purging items that we've saved in the basement. Overall it just feels good to feel like there is a different purpose in my life at this current moment and as long as I keep pushing and achieving goals everything else will fall into place naturally.

GYKY - Definitely never a morning person! I feel best after I have my coffee lol. I love the night.

@ladipale - so exciting getting your barre certification

@Mack2342 - sorry yesterday was hard for you and I hope your DS feels better soon!

Mack2342 · April 2017

@ladipale. Holidays are so much harder. I should have either had a one month old at Easter or been 10 weeks. I bet it was difficult meeting new LO yesterday. It's hard to be happy for others when you are still in pain. I have a niece that's pregnant, she is due in July. Hers is an oops pregnancy so that's really hard for me. Hope you have a better week. Glad you have barre classes to help re focus

@vlagrl29. I wish I could have your attitude!

amberruka · April 2017

@Mack2342 I'm sorry you had to go through that yesterday.

1. Not new.
2. TWW.
3. Rave-I get to go help out at the travel clinic from 12-6 today for some extra money, hooray! But they just called me in earlier so gotta run...think I'm gonna use this for Depeche Mode tickets in October in Seattle

4. I LOVE the early morning, I feel like I get so much more done before people are even out of bed. On the flip side, DH and I usually fall asleep on the couch about 9:45pm....ha ha ha....I was always jealous in college/grad school when my friends could pull all nighters and I realized my body just doesn't work that way (even when I was on the rowing team in college, i would go to bed at 7 or 8 and get up at 2:30am, study, then go row at 5am).

vlagrl29 · April 2017

@Mack2342- it's not easy and it's a process for sure. I think yoga is my therapy and having a great support system. I've always been an optimistic and goal oriented kind of person. Life can be crappy at times but it always does get better even if it's not the way we have visioned it. I just don't feel like I want to do any medical interventions with TTC and neither does my OB at least not until my annual in August when he said if I'm not PG by then we can talk about it again.

ladipale · April 2017

@amberruka - I was on the crew team in college too! I can also NOT pull an all nighter. no way! I think my years as a swimmer and rower helped me cultivate my love for early mornings. Since high school I've been working out before school/work.

BelhurstBride · April 2017

1. Not new
2. TWW
3. Yesterday's weather was amazing!
4. Bedtime!

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

1. Introduce yourself (if new)
I made an intro post so I don't want to bore everyone with the whole story again but briefly - I'm Cyndie...I just lost my son at 19 weeks due to a failed cervix and infection

2. Status?
benched currently until I get cleared for sex again by my OB

3. R/R?
Mini rant: I decided to go get my nails done today while my husband was at work to try to make myself feel like a human again- i had stopped getting them done when I got pregnant so it's been awhile since I went to my usual nail place and when I showed up today the only nail technician there was clearly like 8 months pregnant....it was a rough nail appointment

4. GTKY: what is your favorite time of day? Why?
It used to be bedtime but sleep is hard right now...I'd say early evening when I get to spend time with DH

ladipale · April 2017

So much love to you @harleyquinn0621 I didn't sleep for weeks after my 16 week loss. I get it. It won't last forever - I promise...

Mack2342 · April 2017

@vlagrl29. If I wasn't going to be 42 I would not be doing medicated cycle. I just don't want to was time. I e been pregnant 3 times in two years. It's just that I don't have time on my side so the sooner we can get pregnant the better and then we just need it to be healthy

vlagrl29 · April 2017

Oh I would be the same way @mack2342
I really hope the medicated cycles work for you.

Mack2342 · April 2017

Thanks @vlagrl29

weareturtles · April 2017

1. Signature will help...
2. Today was my last day of meds since my latest surgical hysteroscopy! Woohoo! I'm still benched, but hoping AF shows up in 2 days and is heavier than it has been since my losses.
3. R/R? (See #2!)
4. GTKY: what is your favorite time of day? Why? Morning (not early morning, but morning). There's something so wonderful about starting a day out fresh and new, especially if the sun is shining, when I'm well rested and full of energy.

dpjennifer · April 2017

2. Status? Benched. WTO. CD 17.
3. R/R? Agree with you all that holidays are the worst. I know we’re not supposed to focus on “I should have…” but that’s really difficult to do in reality.
4. GTKY: what is your favorite time of day? Why? Sunset. I love the colors and it puts a pretty glow on everything, and I’m usually home from work or done running errands or whatnot and can relax and enjoy the evening.

vlagrl29 · April 2017

Oh I'm horrible. I've been feeling a bit uneasy about our finances lately. I told dh tonight I probably had the miscarriage because we're not financially in the right spot. That's probably why it's taken so much longer this time than with DD. I just am upset that we are not where I thought we'd be at.

ladipale · April 2017

Oh @vlagrl29 - your finances had nothing to do with loss.. we both know that but it can be fulfilling to find a 'reason'. big hugs. i've been there - finding a square hole for a round peg...

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@vlagrl29 that's not why at all....but I totally get it...I told DH I probably brought us bad karma bc I was reading online about second trimester losses a week before we lost our son....but the truth is sometimes the universe is just unfair -

vlagrl29 · April 2017

Yeah I know you're right. The last couple years have been a bit harder for us because of the studio he was building for his photography business. I had no idea it was going to be such a challenge mentally and financially for us. Just hoping things go back to where they were soon.

I just feel like we are starting over in more than 1 way - it's hard. That's why I wrote down a new list of goals for this year to make me feel like I'm accomplishing things. Told my mom I was going to donate my maternity clothes. She asked why are we not having more kids. I told her we want to obviously but our basement is getting too full for me and I need to make space. and there were 30 stuffed animals in a storage tote - she probably has 50 in her bedroom. We don't need all that stuff lol.

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@vlagrl29 sometimes getting rid of some stuff and getting a fresh start can make you feel better...we are donating everything we had bought for Alexander to a women's/children shelter (diapers, onsies, pacifiers)....if we get pregnant again we'll repurchase whatever we need but we're not only short on space but I also want something good to come out of all this..:...I don't know your situation but if you do need to go through and get rid of some items for space reasons it's ok

vlagrl29 · April 2017

@harleyquinn0621 - I think that's how I feel. We don't really use the basement other than storage but it would be nice to donate some things and then also sell other things so we can make money as well. We have 2 toddler car seats - DH told me not to sell the one for his car but I'd like to sell the one for my car. Other things are a toddler bike and a couple motorized cars that DD is too big for now. I'm so sorry for the loss of Alexander - I can't imagine the pain you went thru and are recovering from.

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@vlagrl29 oh on the big items, absolutely sell those.... we had been gifted a stroller set/play pen and baby swing... those are being returned to babies r us so my family member can get refunded (DH & his dad are going to do that... he doesn't want me to have to)

thank you- i appreciate everyone's care around Alexander... today is a tough day because his urn is being delivered. although the DRs appointment yesterday went well and helped .... i didnt get all the answers i hoped for (they don't know if i got an infection first which put me in early labor or if my cervix failed which then allowed the infection in) they are leaning towards infection first but i dont know because i wasn't feeling any labor pains - the important part is my OB had already talked with their high risk team and a plan is in place for biweekly ultrasounds through week 26 if, god willing, we get pregnant again to catch any changes in my cervix

vlagrl29 · April 2017

@harleyquinn0621 - that would be a great peace of mind with the extra ultrasounds. I know with my new OB he said right away as soon as I got a BFP I'd get multiple HCG and progesterone level blood tests and then U/S at 6 weeks to make sure it implanted in the right spot.

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@vlagirl29 we see an amazing RE through the first trimester so we are lucky in that respect.. we get bloodwork and lots of ultrasounds with her.... when we were released to our regular OB is when i went on the "regular" ultrasound schedule.. so we had the NT scan at 12 weeks and then the anatomy scan at 19 weeks.... it will be nice to have all the extra scans ... is your OB making any suggestions on how to move forward to help get that BFP?

BelhurstBride · April 2017

@harleyquinn0621, I am so sorry for the rough day but I'm glad you got some answers and your OB is willing to monitor more closely.

@vlagrl29, stuffed animals are the worst. Does any kid actually play with them longer than the first couple of hours?

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@BelhurstBride thank you

my milk also came in yesterday so thats been pretty painful, i'm hoping it dries up soon.... the physical recovery has helped take some of the weight away from the emotional but i know i have a few tough days ahead of me still

vlagrl29 · April 2017

@harleyquinn0621 - he said to give it a full year ttc which will be August and then we will revisit it. I know they do clomid there. We don't have fertility insurance so that would not be an option this year. Honestly I can't take the stress of that stuff. I Ovulate on schedule and had all fertility tests done which came back normal. I think we just need some extra time. OB told me I need to stop blaming myself for the loss, don't track or time intercourse and go to the beach. We don't have the finances for the beach this year but my alternative solution was for DH and I to go on more dates and have fun that way. The way I see it is I've been pregnant twice, the first one successful so it is bound to happen again and I have 3 good years of my 30s left

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@vlagrl29 i've also gotten pregnant twice... lost both with a huge gap in between tho. one was a MMC @ 8 weeks in my early twenties and then this last one.... i'm not as hopeful of being able to get pregnant again as i get older but we never know what will happen... Alexander was a huge surprise (no tracking, or timing or Meds) so that just shows anything is possible

fingers crossed you get your BFP soon !!

ladipale · April 2017

@harleyquinn0621 - the milk coming in is such insult to injury

That happened with my 16 week loss. I wanted the milk to end but also didn't.

I'm so glad your OB is going to support you in your next (God willing) pregnancy. Mine was in my last pregnancy with ultrasounds every 2 weeks. If I get pregnant again I may be in there every week - she would let me too! She is amazing - and it makes all the difference.

vlagrl29 · April 2017

@harleyquinn0621 - see right there gives me hope. It is possible without medical intervention as long as there is no fertility concerns. I know a 38 and 40 year old who both got pregnant accidentally.

dpjennifer · April 2017

@vlagrl29 Do NOT beat yourself up over worries about causing your loss. Newer research has shown that stress does not correlate with miscarriage like they originally thought. It would take a traumatic event type stress to cause problems.

@harleyquinn0621 Sorry the doctor’s didn’t have more information for you. L Wish you had more concrete information. I know there’s nothing you can do about it, but having answers always makes me feel better, especially when determining what you want to do in the future. At least you do have some sort of plan with biweekly ultrasounds. Great that your OB is working with you on this!

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@ladipale the milk coming in is really painful, both physically and emotionally... i'm trying all the internet suggestions I can find to get it to dry up but i think its just going to take time... i'm sorry you had to face the same thing...

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