Today was supposed to be my appointment (FINALLLLLYYYYY)) to get seen about this vertigo-and they just called to say doctor is out sick today and we have to cancel. Gahhhh. Waiting for a call back about any possibility of rescheduling for sooner-cuz the next "normal" appt was for another 8wks out. So frustrated!
Today I penned this jingle to an hommage to the old Folger's commercials: The best part of waking up is a fussy baby in your lap. Ok, so my fussy baby was in his crib, but had to make the song work.
@kjd291 that's infuriating! I had the same kind of thing happen with my eye dr... they rescheduled me twice and then I went into labor the day I was supposed to go in so I finally have an appointment next week. I can only imagine how frustrating it is when you have a constant issue like vertigo.. I'd pitch a damn fit and get seen asap! Give me their number I'll call them too lol
Has a pediatrician appointment today to have DS's shoulder checked. My appointment was at noon, and I wasn't called back until 1:45 PM!! AND I hadn't had lunch before going
DH was really good at first with helping with things & he'll still do things if I ask him to, but he's been getting more & more absent/distant/grumpy - almost as if he's depressed. He's off work this week & next and he's run errands and gone to the gym on separate solo outings each of the last 3 days (he's at the gym now) and he basically said last night he no longer wants a second kid anymore after this (even though I'm the one doing pretty much everything for the baby). Last night especially was tough. DS started crying/screaming/hiccuping straight from about 8:30 - 2am (except when he'd take little breaks to be attached to a boob) from being too hot, hungry, and/or going through multiple diapers, etc. - throughout yesterday he had 13 diaper changes! So DH attempted to go to bed around 10, as I was doing a final daytime feeding with DS in the basement. I thought I'd put him down after he was done nursing but DS kept peeing/pooing immediately after each change & kept working himself up - wouldn't stop flailing his little arms around, crying hysterically. Around 12 I took him out of our room so at least one of us (DH) could get to sleep & I just felt at a loss trying to soothe him & try different things to calm him down, eventually giving up on the idea of me getting any sleep so around 2 I just sat with my angry little guy on my chest in the chair in his room. I think we both dozed off for about 20-30 minutes at some point after, but then of course it was time for another feeding. By 4:30 he was finally content & sleepy so I put him in his bassinet next to my side of the bed and we both got 2 hours of beautiful unbroken sleep! After we woke up as I was feeding him he peed & it went through his diaper, blanket, & my clothes. So I woke DH up a bit after 7 to have him hold/burp DS for a couple minutes so I could change out of the pee covered stuff. We changed DS's diaper together & then DH went back to bed for another 2.5 hours. I'm feeling pretty good & positive overall and surprisingly awake (and DS is just too cute & forgivable so I can't be angry at him for depriving me of rest) but I'm getting so mad at DH for what seems like him being inconsiderate & selfish. I know this week is likely the hardest one & I sense DH is not happy but he's one who doesn't ever vocalize how he's feeling so idk what's actually going through his head. I just wish he'd help out more during this time while he's off work. Whew this is so long lol I'm done rambling now.
Baby had horrible sleep last night, worse night yet. This morning he was screaming crying, I was so sleepy, I didn't respond for a while. Now feeling like bad mom of the year and worried I ruined my relationship with him. I deeply regret not responding and wish I could go back in time and undo it. I just hope I can repair any emotional damage I've done.
So night before last, my fiance and I went to go have dinner with his family. The whole visit was just a mess. When we got there, the baby was still asleep and his grandmother tried to wake him up, then got upset when my future MIL and I wouldn't let her. After that, I took him downstairs to finish his nap. Whe he woke up, I fed him and then he had a major poo blowout. He even got it on his socks! Fortunately, I always carry a spare outfit for him in his bag.
After I got clean clothes on him, I took him upstairs as it was time for dinner. First, everyone swarmed around the baby and kept talking to him all at once, making stupid faces at him, and at the same time my fiance's grandmother was trying to tickle him. I was backed into a corner (literally), so I couldn't get away from them. And of course the baby got overstimulated and started crying hysterically. My fiance's grandma actually had the audacity to remark on how cute it is when he cries and his face turns all red. I gave up trying to be polite at that point and just pushed my way out of the corner and through them. The grandma tried to follow me, but my fiance saw it happen and was kind enough to intercept her.
While everyone was dawdling on their way to the table, my fiance's grandpa picked up the dog so he could try to stick her in the baby's face again. As soon as I heard him tell her that they were going to go look at the baby, I promptly turned around and walked into the kitchen with him. After I did that, Jack got really pissy with me and my fiance for the rest of th night. He didn't say anything about me keeping the baby away from the dog, but we all knew it was because I didn't allow him to stick the germy little rat in my child's face again.
Then we ate dinner. I'm in the process of transitioning to a vegan diet due to health issues, which I got a earful about from my future inlaws. Dinner was loaded with beef and cheese. I ate enough that I couldn't be accused of being rude, but unfortunately it made me really sick. So that was just great.
And of course my fiance got into it with his mother, and I got stuck with the task of calming him down.
I just hate going over there. I have to spend the entire time keeping his whole family at arms length from the baby. They act like he's a doll that they can just play with however they want. They show no consideration for whether or not something is good for him, so I'm terrified of putting him down while we're there. They think that just because I'm not holding him its an invitation for someone else to, even if he's asleep. They all swarm around him and get him overstimulated, and then think its adorable when he cries. The only way I can get them to back off is to go down to the bedroom my fiance and I shared while we were living there and lock the door. Half the time someone tries to follow us in there. They're just so damn disrespectful to him and me.
And to add to the aggravation I'm still feeling, we're going back over there tonight. My fiance is supposed to just be signing paperwork, so the baby and I are waiting in the car. I'm not having a repeat of Monday night. Oh, and we got roped into going there for Easter, a holiday that they know I don't celebrate for religious reasons. FML
My one glimmer of hope is that my fiance is also concerned about their behavior and isn't getting along well with his family. He has talked about not having the baby around them because his grandfather is being so nasty to him. I would never ask him to do that, but of course I'd support that decision if he made it.
Sorry everyone is having such a hard time. @serenity13 My DH tried to say the same thing about only wanting one when we had hard times with our first (mainly newborn phase), but he got over it because he ultimately knew that our whole lives would be better if we had two kids who could play together. Don't listen to him or worry about that now. My DH never bonded with our first till she was probably 4 months old. It gets much better and the Dads definitely start buying in more as they get older.
DH was really good at first with helping with things & he'll still do things if I ask him to, but he's been getting more & more absent/distant/grumpy - almost as if he's depressed. He's off work this week & next and he's run errands and gone to the gym on separate solo outings each of the last 3 days (he's at the gym now) and he basically said last night he no longer wants a second kid anymore after this (even though I'm the one doing pretty much everything for the baby). Last night especially was tough. DS started crying/screaming/hiccuping straight from about 8:30 - 2am (except when he'd take little breaks to be attached to a boob) from being too hot, hungry, and/or going through multiple diapers, etc. - throughout yesterday he had 13 diaper changes! So DH attempted to go to bed around 10, as I was doing a final daytime feeding with DS in the basement. I thought I'd put him down after he was done nursing but DS kept peeing/pooing immediately after each change & kept working himself up - wouldn't stop flailing his little arms around, crying hysterically. Around 12 I took him out of our room so at least one of us (DH) could get to sleep & I just felt at a loss trying to soothe him & try different things to calm him down, eventually giving up on the idea of me getting any sleep so around 2 I just sat with my angry little guy on my chest in the chair in his room. I think we both dozed off for about 20-30 minutes at some point after, but then of course it was time for another feeding. By 4:30 he was finally content & sleepy so I put him in his bassinet next to my side of the bed and we both got 2 hours of beautiful unbroken sleep! After we woke up as I was feeding him he peed & it went through his diaper, blanket, & my clothes. So I woke DH up a bit after 7 to have him hold/burp DS for a couple minutes so I could change out of the pee covered stuff. We changed DS's diaper together & then DH went back to bed for another 2.5 hours. I'm feeling pretty good & positive overall and surprisingly awake (and DS is just too cute & forgivable so I can't be angry at him for depriving me of rest) but I'm getting so mad at DH for what seems like him being inconsiderate & selfish. I know this week is likely the hardest one & I sense DH is not happy but he's one who doesn't ever vocalize how he's feeling so idk what's actually going through his head. I just wish he'd help out more during this time while he's off work. Whew this is so long lol I'm done rambling now.
I didn't know if this is the solution, but my husband is sleeping in tyre guest room until baby is sleeping longer than2 hour stretches. For all of our sanity. He is a better daytime parent with sleep.
@disneybaby84 - babies don't start forming memories until they are 2 so don't stress about it. So I'm going to tell you a secret - babyhood is HARD. Everyone makes it seem like every day is great and full of unicorns and rainbows. But you know what? Some days plain suck - and you have to take care of you sometimes. Some days I prop a bottle up with a blanket while DS is next to me so I can eat once during a 12 hour spurt while dh works because DS acts like the world is ending some days if I have the audacity to put him down. I used to feel guilty about it. Now I feel like a multitasking rock star - both of us are eating. Win.
@serenity13 - I echo others - it does get easier and men bond more once baby starts interacting more. This phase will pass and you'll turn around and see you actually miss it as you're baby is smashing his first birthday cake.
@Ivorytower2@longliveregina@marshmallowfarts thanks! It's already been better since he got home actually, I fed DS and DH has been holding him since then & allowing me time to shower, eat, & rest a bit. I was literally crying over some spilled milk I had collected when he got home & we talked & hopefully things won't feel as overwhelming for us as long as we're in this together & supporting each other. It's definitely hard, but I know it'll get easier...at least that's what everyone says haha
@disneybaby84: Just want to say.. have confidence in yourself as a mama! They aren't perfect beings, and neither are we, which means we will make mistakes. I totally have moments that I regret with my first. BUT.. I am still the one he wants when he is upset or hurt or just needs some extra snuggles and love.
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 1 Samuel 1:27 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Echo what others have said. It can take Dad's a while to bond. Mine didn't feel connected to our first baby until she started laughing around 12 weeks. Before that he was really questioning our decision to have a baby! Fast forward 4 years and he's the freaking dad of the year, putting in ponytails and pretend-drinking tea with 3 girls.
Just echoing the echoes! It's hard for the dads to bond and help out-especially when you're a BFing mama. I just set the expectation that DH wasnt going to do a single thing at night and he'd get sleep. That way I don't have expectations of anything else. My hubs is a second time dad, but he still is in that weird place and keeps saying he can't wait till baby is older so he can interact:bond and help more. DD1 is a daddy's girl now and he is so great with her!
I just hate going over there. I have to spend the entire time keeping his whole family at arms length from the baby. They act like he's a doll that they can just play with however they want. They show no consideration for whether or not something is good for him, so I'm terrified of putting him down while we're there. They think that just because I'm not holding him its an invitation for someone else to, even if he's asleep. They all swarm around him and get him overstimulated, and then think its adorable when he cries. The only way I can get them to back off is to go down to the bedroom my fiance and I shared while we were living there and lock the door. Half the time someone tries to follow us in there.
Ugh. As a FTM this really bothers me. My MIL/FIL and SIL all do this and it really irks me. I'm so sorry that you have a rough time with the family. It sounds like you and your partner are on the right track and having the same mentality on who should be involved with your LO is a good start! People can be such idiots when it comes to babies and respecting us mommas!
Ugh. Basically have been awake since 4-ish this morning. DH snoring/heavy breathing is irritating. I feel like he should be awake too in my misery but nope. He wakes up when Molly is fussy to tell me what she needs. Maybe get your ass up and help. Every time he does help he gets her out of bassinet and changes her and then immediately goes back to sleep and resumes snoring. I think I'm annoyed because I want to be sleeping.
Re: Weekly bitch fest 4/10
The best part of waking up is a fussy baby in your lap.
Ok, so my fussy baby was in his crib, but had to make the song work.
@kjd291 that's infuriating! I had the same kind of thing happen with my eye dr... they rescheduled me twice and then I went into labor the day I was supposed to go in so I finally have an appointment next week. I can only imagine how frustrating it is when you have a constant issue like vertigo.. I'd pitch a damn fit and get seen asap! Give me their number I'll call them too lol
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
Last night especially was tough. DS started crying/screaming/hiccuping straight from about 8:30 - 2am (except when he'd take little breaks to be attached to a boob) from being too hot, hungry, and/or going through multiple diapers, etc. - throughout yesterday he had 13 diaper changes!
So DH attempted to go to bed around 10, as I was doing a final daytime feeding with DS in the basement. I thought I'd put him down after he was done nursing but DS kept peeing/pooing immediately after each change & kept working himself up - wouldn't stop flailing his little arms around, crying hysterically. Around 12 I took him out of our room so at least one of us (DH) could get to sleep & I just felt at a loss trying to soothe him & try different things to calm him down, eventually giving up on the idea of me getting any sleep so around 2 I just sat with my angry little guy on my chest in the chair in his room. I think we both dozed off for about 20-30 minutes at some point after, but then of course it was time for another feeding. By 4:30 he was finally content & sleepy so I put him in his bassinet next to my side of the bed and we both got 2 hours of beautiful unbroken sleep!
After we woke up as I was feeding him he peed & it went through his diaper, blanket, & my clothes. So I woke DH up a bit after 7 to have him hold/burp DS for a couple minutes so I could change out of the pee covered stuff. We changed DS's diaper together & then DH went back to bed for another 2.5 hours. I'm feeling pretty good & positive overall and surprisingly awake (and DS is just too cute & forgivable so I can't be angry at him for depriving me of rest) but I'm getting so mad at DH for what seems like him being inconsiderate & selfish. I know this week is likely the hardest one & I sense DH is not happy but he's one who doesn't ever vocalize how he's feeling so idk what's actually going through his head. I just wish he'd help out more during this time while he's off work. Whew this is so long lol I'm done rambling now.
After I got clean clothes on him, I took him upstairs as it was time for dinner. First, everyone swarmed around the baby and kept talking to him all at once, making stupid faces at him, and at the same time my fiance's grandmother was trying to tickle him. I was backed into a corner (literally), so I couldn't get away from them. And of course the baby got overstimulated and started crying hysterically. My fiance's grandma actually had the audacity to remark on how cute it is when he cries and his face turns all red. I gave up trying to be polite at that point and just pushed my way out of the corner and through them. The grandma tried to follow me, but my fiance saw it happen and was kind enough to intercept her.
While everyone was dawdling on their way to the table, my fiance's grandpa picked up the dog so he could try to stick her in the baby's face again. As soon as I heard him tell her that they were going to go look at the baby, I promptly turned around and walked into the kitchen with him. After I did that, Jack got really pissy with me and my fiance for the rest of th night. He didn't say anything about me keeping the baby away from the dog, but we all knew it was because I didn't allow him to stick the germy little rat in my child's face again.
Then we ate dinner. I'm in the process of transitioning to a vegan diet due to health issues, which I got a earful about from my future inlaws. Dinner was loaded with beef and cheese. I ate enough that I couldn't be accused of being rude, but unfortunately it made me really sick. So that was just great.
And of course my fiance got into it with his mother, and I got stuck with the task of calming him down.
I just hate going over there. I have to spend the entire time keeping his whole family at arms length from the baby. They act like he's a doll that they can just play with however they want. They show no consideration for whether or not something is good for him, so I'm terrified of putting him down while we're there. They think that just because I'm not holding him its an invitation for someone else to, even if he's asleep. They all swarm around him and get him overstimulated, and then think its adorable when he cries. The only way I can get them to back off is to go down to the bedroom my fiance and I shared while we were living there and lock the door. Half the time someone tries to follow us in there. They're just so damn disrespectful to him and me.
And to add to the aggravation I'm still feeling, we're going back over there tonight. My fiance is supposed to just be signing paperwork, so the baby and I are waiting in the car. I'm not having a repeat of Monday night. Oh, and we got roped into going there for Easter, a holiday that they know I don't celebrate for religious reasons. FML
My one glimmer of hope is that my fiance is also concerned about their behavior and isn't getting along well with his family. He has talked about not having the baby around them because his grandfather is being so nasty to him. I would never ask him to do that, but of course I'd support that decision if he made it.
@serenity13 - I echo others - it does get easier and men bond more once baby starts interacting more. This phase will pass and you'll turn around and see you actually miss it as you're baby is smashing his first birthday cake.
Baby #2 - March 2017
1 Samuel 1:27
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DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19