Scheduling/organization struggles

StayingFocused · April 2017

I work ~35 hours a week and between the housework, laundry, dogs and meal planning/prepping for Levi for daycare (I have to provide food) and just general work involved with an infant, I'm always 3 steps behind. I have an OCD type personality and little patience so this struggle keeps me in a near constant state of frustration/anger. I desperately need advice on how to manage it all. I'm fortunate enough that a lot of the time DH makes supper. However, since he usually cooks what sounds good, not necessarily healthy or balanced, and always managed to dirty ALL the bowls and pans, I'll probably be trying to head that up now too so Levi can eat same as us. I hate to cook! I know some of you have a lot more than me to handle so.....HOW do you keep up??!!
I'm gone by 6:30am for daycare and work and not home until close to 6pm. I do have one day a week off but that's not enough to do it all.

lm45678 · April 2017

I don't do it all, and am really struggling with it. I have an idea of the "perfect" wife and mother in my head and I don't come close to measuring up. I've actually started seeing a therapist to help put things into perspective and to help me with some recent anxiety I've been experiencing.

On good days I am able to say "fuck it, I work full time at least my kid is alive & healthy" and go on with my house messy and dinner being less than well balanced.

On bad days, I cry about how I feel like a failure with a fat ass and a messy house.

I don't have any real advice, other than I hope you realize that we are all less than perfect. All of us are struggling to do our best for our babies, but we all have weaknesses. No mother in the world has it down 100% with no hiccups. And if you meet someone who does, they're either lying to you or they have a shit ton of help!

StayingFocused · April 2017

I just want to get to the point where, on a consistent basis, my house doesn't smell like dogs, I don't have to clean the kitchen before I can cook the next meal, and at least my kids food is prepared. I feel like I can't even get there. About all I can keep up with is vacuum/mop so my kid can crawl around.

Lizbeth86 · April 2017

I don't have any advice either but can commiserate... I'm trying to figure out what I can cut out of our budget to be able to afford a cleaning service. I think it will save my sanity and our marriage bc cleaning my house turns me into a raving b**ch...

@StayingFocused, same thing here with DH and meal prep... I resent having to clean a million pots & pans for a fatty meal that I picked at bc I still need to lose baby weight. And kudos to you for at least keeping up with mopping & vacuuming... my LO's pants were so dirty one night because she basically was the broom all day for a dusty hardwood floor that hadn't been cleaned... well maybe it will help build her immune system...

I'm sorry, maybe this should have gone in the ranting thread but I hope you feel better knowing you have company!

rlbrooks84 · April 2017

So I'm a SAHM but I haven't always been and I feel your pain. Something that helped was on the weekends we would have a fun day and a list of stuff to clean around the house the other day. Are you doing meal planning and then your husband just makes what he wants? I have to meal with my husband on Sat/Sun and then I do most the shopping Sunday. If I don't get his input he'll complain that he's not in the mood for what I put on the menu but if he helps me plan then I can hold him to it. When it comes to laundry I have found a laundry schedule really helps, I set what days I'm doing what and give myself some days off. I have 2 older boys plus Charlotte so there's a lot of laundry over here. I think no matter what it's a struggle but writing a list before bed and having a schedule for things help me. I hope maybe that helps!

adiaz132003 · April 2017

A life saver for me is our meal schedule.

Mindful Mondays- healthy/vegetarian
Chicken thigh Tuesday- any chicken meal
Where's the beef Wednesday- beef or pork
Chicken thigh Thursday- same as Tuesdays
Fishy Fridays- seafood
"What's for dinner?" Weekends- we wing it or get creative

I also have and Instant Pot. Seriously ladies, you have to check this Gizmo out. I totally forgot to take chicken out today so I out the frozen chicken and out it in the pot for 20 min with some broth and seasoning, went to the store while it cooked and dinner was done and waiting when we got home. Before I got it our meals where a mess.

StayingFocused · April 2017

I think our biggest problem is it was just the two of us for 11 years of spontaneous date nights and winging it, or spicy or fatty food at home. Now my "meal planning" so far is me searching the pantry and fridge for healthy stuff I can cut up for LO's meals the next day at daycare. I do pretty decent with him but it's not a smooth process by any means bc a lot of the time it's not as simple as leftovers from dinner just bc out meal wasn't very healthy. Our time is so limited dinner always has to be something quick and easy. I'm buying heathier/unprocessed groceries but it doesn't make any kind of real meal prep any easier. Plus, bc of our late work schedules, and DH traveling out of town a lot, there is no real dinner routine. I try to eat at least a snack when Levi eats so we can "eat together" but a lot of times neither me or DH gets real supper until 8pm or later most nights. By the time I pick up Levi from daycare and get home it's 6pm. His bedtime is 7:30-8. So I get only about 2 hours to play, feed him dinner, bath, bottle, book and bedtime. That's why on my day off I spend a lot of time playing with him instead of house work bc I feel like I barely see him on work days.

meggyme · April 2017

I love my instant pot too because I always forget to pull things out to thaw. I meal plan for the week by picking 4-5 meals (depending on what we have going on) and then writing down what I need for them. I have a little notepad with spaces for each day and a tear away grocery list.

I start work Monday, so we will see how my process changes. I think we might bring on a maid once or twice a month since I can barely keep my house clean with LO in daycare and me not working. And cleaning on the weekend is impossible.

vintagevix2016 · April 2017

StayingFocused said:

I think our biggest problem is it was just the two of us for 11 years of spontaneous date nights and winging it, or spicy or fatty food at home. Now my "meal planning" so far is me searching the pantry and fridge for healthy stuff I can cut up for LO's meals the next day at daycare. I do pretty decent with him but it's not a smooth process by any means bc a lot of the time it's not as simple as leftovers from dinner just bc out meal wasn't very healthy. Our time is so limited dinner always has to be something quick and easy. I'm buying heathier/unprocessed groceries but it doesn't make any kind of real meal prep any easier. Plus, bc of our late work schedules, and DH traveling out of town a lot, there is no real dinner routine. I try to eat at least a snack when Levi eats so we can "eat together" but a lot of times neither me or DH gets real supper until 8pm or later most nights. By the time I pick up Levi from daycare and get home it's 6pm. His bedtime is 7:30-8. So I get only about 2 hours to play, feed him dinner, bath, bottle, book and bedtime. That's why on my day off I spend a lot of time playing with him instead of house work bc I feel like I barely see him on work days.

My husband and I usually don't eat until after Damien is in bed. I know it's good for him to see us eating with him but it just doesn't work for us. I'm usually cooking while my husband feeds him dinner, so at least we're all together. I'm just now venturing back into work-mode so I'm kind of anxious about how things will go, especially since like you mentioned I will have so much less time with him every day. We're lucky in that daycare feeds him 2 snacks and a warm lunch so I don't have to really worry about that (I just a small container of puree with him now until he is more experienced with other foods).

For household tasks, maybe dedicate each day to one task? Or if your home is too big to do one task in a short period of time, you could dedicate just 15-30min a day? "On Tuesdays, I spend 15mins dusting," then at least you can hit the major stuff. On another day you can do 15-30min of another cleaning task. By the end of the week, you'll have a tidy home (hopefully).

I hear you though about the limited time in the evenings, that's what's hitting me the hardest.

Maybe with dinners you can take a weekend to make a batch of sauces and marinades that can be vacuum sealed? That way during the week you can throw meat into a sauce or marinade and do a simple veggie and starch side for a quick thrown-together meal? I haven't tried it but it sounds okay in my head...I don't have a vacuum sealer thingie though...nor do I have the space to store it the jars....anywho, just an idea though!

rlbrooks84 · April 2017

For snacks at daycare are you suppose to provide regular food or could you just do puffs and baby food pouches? Charlotte really likes the apple sauce ones from Costco and they are a great size. You could cook a sweet potato and then slice it into sticks or cooked apples slices is another favorite over here. I find those two easy and then they last a few days in the fridge and you can freeze them. I'm limited to what snacks I can buy for Charlotte because she can't have dairy. I'm also at home so I can bake her stuff that's dairy free.

laurendiaz02 · April 2017

I think it's all relative. I only have 1 child and my mom lives with us, so I commend those with more then 1 child! I take advantage of nap time -- that's when I'm doing a majority of the cleaning. He naps 3 times a day for at least 1.5 hours each time, so as soon as he's asleep I'm vacuuming, mopping, dishes, laundry etc. (I don't worry about the noise waking him up). I'm constantly doing something it feels like. Working full time, I do as much as I can before/after work as far as chores/cleaning since my mom does all the cooking.

With two big dogs, we cannot skip a day with vacuuming because of all the hair. Even when he wakes up, i will continue with chores while he eats a snack in his high chair or plays in his play yard. I just finished pulling weeds outside and he's still napping so now I'll figure out what to do for lunch. Lol. Let's just celebrate the fact that our kids are alive and well. The rest is a bonus.

StayingFocused · April 2017

I'm required to provide all meals and snacks. It's a smaller daycare run by a church so 1min microwave is as much cooking they can do. I think I just feel bad when I send essentially the exact same thing days in a row but for as little as they really eat, it is what it is. Fed is best right? Lol.
@laurendiaz02 it sounds like things here. Two dogs here too. I don't do as many "loud" chores while he's sleeping since our house is so small but I definitely don't keep it quiet either. I use nap time for laundry or de clutter.
One downfall is holding him while he naps on my off days bc it's literally the only chance I get and they are only little once right?! When he's older I'll make up for it by assigning him his own chores. Lol.

Tawny87 · April 2017

I just try to have a few chores each day that I promise myself I will get done. Having it in the forefront of my mind helps me to get it out of the way early, and I figured no one has perished from the laundry not getting done.

lm45678 · April 2017

We're responsible for all of Savannah's good at daycare- so this is what i send

Breakfast- yogurt & cut up fruit
Lunch- chicken cut up & cut up or mashed veggies

If I am running short on time, I will send a pouch instead of the fresh fruit or veggies. I will also send a snack if I have something good to send.

It doesn't take too long, and it's kind of monotonous but she does just fine and eats almost all of it.

My main issue with house cleaning is that Savannah doesn't nap at home unless she is being held or is in the car seat/stroller. It's incredibly difficult for me to get anything done without the help of my husband. This afternoon my mom is taking her for a walk so I can clean before we have friends over. So I try to cut myself a break because she is so tough.

FWIW- I also expect my husband to do about half of the housework/childcare since I work full time.

Tawny87 · April 2017

laurenm2123 said:

FWIW- I also expect my husband to do about half of the housework/childcare since I work full time.

Exactly! My husband works 50+ hours at his day job and and works on freelance projects at night and he is still willing to help me around the house, I only work about 15 hours a week so I tackle the majority of home tasks but it is nice knowing there is someone there to help!

laurendiaz02 · April 2017

Rocking to sleep/holding them sounds like it's going to be a hard habit to break.

call me crazy, but I literally put Ethan in the crib, turn on his aquarium and walk out. Lol.

lm45678 · April 2017

laurendiaz02 said:

Rocking to sleep/holding them sounds like it's going to be a hard habit to break.

call me crazy, but I literally put Ethan in the crib, turn on his aquarium and walk out. Lol.

You're not crazy, you're my idol. I seriously am so mad at myself for starting this horrific habit that we are having a hard time breaking. She's also been sleeping between us in bed all week.... #momfail

Tawny87 · April 2017

laurenm2123 said:

laurendiaz02 said:

Rocking to sleep/holding them sounds like it's going to be a hard habit to break.

call me crazy, but I literally put Ethan in the crib, turn on his aquarium and walk out. Lol.

You're not crazy, you're my idol. I seriously am so mad at myself for starting this horrific habit that we are having a hard time breaking. She's also been sleeping between us in bed all week.... #momfail

You do what you have to to get sleep. The girls were bad about sleeping while being held, most likely from being 2 months early and being held all the time. With this kid we throw him in the crib and walk away, sometimes he cries a few but he gets over it quick.

StayingFocused · April 2017

It's only like twice a week. He's been sttn in his own crib in his room since 6 weeks. He does nap in his crib at home but sometimes, I just hold bc I want to, not bc he won't sleep unless I do.

StayingFocused · April 2017

DH helps a lot kitchen wise. He works long hours and is out of town sometimes a week at a time so I organize the other chores as if it were only me all the time.

lac1252 · April 2017

We're required to provide all snacks and meals at daycare too. I definitely second steaming or roasting a bunch of vegetables and sending those in. We also cut up a bunch of fruit and put it in small containers to bring daily. And we've been buying rotisserie chicken and just cutting into small pieces for her. At most, we're cutting or cooking twice a week and it takes us maybe 30-40 min. Charlotte is happy to eat most of those things cold too.

We also send pouches and yogurt and she loves them and they're super easy.

I try to make vacuuming (lots of dog hair) and laundry priorities and everything else is bonus. We get maybe an hour and a half at night with Charlotte before bedtime and now that the weather's getting nicer we go for a family walk after work and before her dinner. That time is so nice important to me so I basically say screw it to housework and get some of that done after Charlotte goes to bed and before we have our dinner.

I also have a husband who helps tremendously and does most of the cooking.

StayingFocused · April 2017

@lac1252 sounds like we have very similar days! Some days I say screw it, others I feel so overwhelmed! Although thinking it through, the overwhelming days are when everything still has to be done and baby won't eat what I made but he's crying bc he wants food and..Etc... Reading that I'm not the only one makes me feel better, lol.

bankssl1 · April 2017

I'm late to this thread.. but I work full time and H works 24 on 48 off and on his days "off" he works 8-5 so he's not much help in the cleaning department, his job is the dishes and putting his dirty clothes in the hamper!! I have to stick to a routine or things get kinda crazy. I rely on weekends to get most of the cleaning done, mostly while Jack naps. We have a roomba so I don't do much sweeping/vacuuming, but we do have two dogs so it gets dirty QUICK. I usually wait until Jack is down for the night to make his food for the week on Saturday/Sunday night. Just set a schedule for yourself on the weekends/days off. Lets be real, not much around the house gets done while they are awake!! Just remember fed, alive and happy are what matters at the end of the day!

Tawny87 · April 2017

Day one of eating off the meal plan accomplished. Sweet and sour chicken was probably a terrible place to start for someone who hates cooking, my kitchen is destroyed lol. I think frying is a no go for me!

meggyme · April 2017

Tawny87 said:

Day one of eating off the meal plan accomplished. Sweet and sour chicken was probably a terrible place to start for someone who hates cooking, my kitchen is destroyed lol. I think frying is a no go for me!

I love looking for baked "fried" recipes. I started baking our bacon and it's a million times cleaner. I've yet to try and instant pot "fried"recipes.

Tawny87 · April 2017

meggyme said:

Tawny87 said:

Day one of eating off the meal plan accomplished. Sweet and sour chicken was probably a terrible place to start for someone who hates cooking, my kitchen is destroyed lol. I think frying is a no go for me!

I love looking for baked "fried" recipes. I started baking our bacon and it's a million times cleaner. I've yet to try and instant pot "fried"recipes.

I always bake our bacon! It cooks through so much more even.

vintagevix2016 · April 2017

Our morning schedule is always the toughest when a certain someone decides he doesn't want to eat his breakfast or drink any milk. Sorry daycare for handing off a tired and hungry baby, I really did try!

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