Multiples + three-nager.... please help a hubby out

njsoon2be5 · April 2017

Intro:
Wife is due in Sept with multiples. She stays at home with a 3-going-on-13 toddler girl.
I work 24/7 (ok 12/5, but feels like 24/7).

Issue:
I want to do what I can to help out but it seems she's stuck w/ 90% of the load.

Question:
To all the mommies-to-be out there... what is the 1 thing you'd appreciate THE MOST from your partner during this time?

thanks in advance
-Chase

mrsmarygs · April 2017

Dishes. It takes only 15 or so minutes. But going from a cluttered sink, to a clean kitchen with the dishwasher running, will make a world of difference in getting any meals made.
Also just saying thank you. Letting her know that you appreciate and see all the hard work she does around the house.
These are my two things that I love seeing done and hearing, but every woman is different. Why not talk to your wife and see what she values most. Even just hearing you ask about how you could help her out means something.

kelseyrayay · April 2017

time to herself.

lap018 · April 2017

When you are at home (even though we know you've been at work all day long and that has to be tough) every once in a while take over the kid duty fully. Walk in tell her to go take a (Luke warm -yay pregnancy-) bath and give her a book (or whatever she likes to do) and then you take over the kid for the rest of the night (dinner, bath, book, bedtime etc) this does not have to happen a lot just every so often so she can have a mental break

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

i agree with dishes.... it's fast but makes a HUGE difference

btw congrats

ColoradoHiker · April 2017

I agree with PP. Ask what you can do to help your wife out. Dishes/ general cleaning? Keeping your daughter occupied for a while, so she has time to put her feet up/ take a hot bath/ have a girls' night friends? Think of things that she truly enjoys, and see if you can make it happen for her.

wyomama0427 · April 2017

I'm sure you know what kind of things she appreciates, like getting up with the toddler so she can sleep in on the weekends and bringing her coffee and breakfast or something. It really is the little things that I don't have to ask my husband to do that I really appreciate. Also agree so much with cleaning here and there.

Incandescent · April 2017

On your down time help her. Play with the three year old, make dinner, do that house project she's been wanting you to do. Seriously do that freaking house project!! Lol I'm projecting now.

beccam1230 · April 2017

All very good suggestions. Dishes is a big one for me.. or laundry because I just don't have the energy to do it myself so often. A biiiig thing, when she asks you to do something or just doesn't have the energy to do what she used to, don't act like you're annoyed or bothered by what she's currently not doing. Also, sleep!! A little extra can go a long way.

Souptin · April 2017

Have an adult conversation with her about anything but kids.

jutondreau · April 2017

I love what other people have suggested. How about hiring someone to come to the house to do the cleaning every other week? You can ask wives of your friends who they'd suggest, look on care.com, etc. Also, plan a babysitter to come one day to the house so she can have some me time/spa day etc.

moto_mom · April 2017

My SO works about 60hrs a week. I work very part-time and for the most part consider myself a SAHM. At night, he usually gives me a solid hour to myself while he plays w/the kids. That time I get alone is so appreciated. Sometimes he'll even surprise me and clean up, do dishes or continue laundry. When the kids go to bed he also makes an extra effort to spend quality time w/me. He's such an awesome Dad and spouse

wyomama0427 · April 2017

Incandescent said:

On your down time help her. Play with the three year old, make dinner, do that house project she's been wanting you to do. Seriously do that freaking house project!! Lol I'm projecting now.

Ded

I am so guilty of doing that in my comment too hahahahaha! DH rarely gets up with DS and lets me sleep but I just wanna jump on him those mornings he gets up with DS and I wake up late and he's got breakfast burritos made and the dishes done. Drag him back to the bedroom.

wyomama0427 · April 2017

Also you should send her our way!!! We'd love to have her here (:

JNR6510 · April 2017

I second the dishes / general cleaning. I know a lot of days I am just too exhausted to clean or do much when I get home from work. When DH cleans the house while I am away, it is absolutely amazing!

DPandMB · April 2017

Cleaning. Oh the cleaning.

wineren · April 2017

I have a friend who is a sahm and her hubby does the bedtime routine every night he's home. She loves it because it gives her some time and he loves it because it gives him time to bond. And their little girl loves it because she gets Daddy time. I totally agree with laundry and dishes though... We don't have a dishwasher so dishes have sucked as my bump grows and laundry has the same thing getting it out of the washer.

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Multiples + three-nager.... please help a hubby out

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