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To Baby Shower or Not To Baby Shower

dznutsdznuts member
edited April 2017 in Baby Showers
Hi ladies! Bare with me... this came out longer than expected. So, I'm struggling with the idea of a baby shower for a few reasons. There are the typical reasons of how awkward they are, no one really ever likes the games or pays attention past the first handful of gifts being opened, makes me feel like I'm begging for gifts, etc.

The BIGGEST issue is I'm terrified because this is my first successful pregnancy (currently 22wks along) after a couple miscarriages and long road of infertility issues. I'm afraid of this big spectacle about a baby that might possibly not be because of my history. Loved ones keep telling me not to be negative or think like that. I totally see their point, but I'm not being negative, just realistic and preparing myself in case something bad does happen again. 

My extremely well meaning mom and friends are really pushing for a shower and threatening to throw a surprise one so I can't fight it. I am very grateful for their excitement and wanting to help us. However, I  feel a party isn't necessary for them to help us out. In light of compromise, I finally broke down and created a registry for those who keep asking. They are still trying to wear me down on having a shower, and I'm considering an open-house BBQ meet and greet after baby is born where gifts are optional and/or unwrapped. This makes me feel more comfortable because then I know the baby is ok. A lot of the "pro-baby shower" people are balking at the idea and now I feel like I have to have some form of shower just to appease them. 


Here are the options I am weighing out. What do you think is best case scenario?
1) Stand my ground on no shower at all 
2) Only do an open house meet and greet after the baby is born and invite everyone
3) Let my mom throw small traditional shower for my side of the family only and then do a BBQ meet and greet after the baby for everyone 

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Re: To Baby Shower or Not To Baby Shower

  • midge519midge519 member
    I think option 3 is a great idea. It allows your family to be super excited and gives you the shower without it being overwhelming but also allowing you to have what you want. I don't blame you for being nervous about the shower. Maybe you could convince them to have it late like 36 weeks so it's close to your due date so you feel it's "safer"
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  • cseley321cseley321 member
    It's just a shower, no need to stress so much. Just ask them to schedule it for later in your pregnancy as mentioned above. I had the exact same situation  (m/c's, infertility), and didnt feel good about the pregnancy until 36 weeks or so, even though it was thankfully an easy pregnancy. Your perspective may get better as you get closer to 40 weeks.
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  • satuttle1014satuttle1014 member
    I like option 3. I think if your family is really pushing for a shower then let them. I have never been in your position but I totally get your point of view. As suggested above, just do it later so maybe you will feel more comfortable. Also, sometimes showers are like the rite of passage with the 1st baby. Definitely like the idea of the meet and greet once the baby is home. I did my shower early with my 1st because of holidays but tons of people I know do their shower more about 34-36 weeks. 1st time showers are great since you get tons of stuff that you don't have to buy :) Maybe have some say in the shower like you don't want some over the top/huge shower. Mine was at my house with 22 guests besides my mom, sister and myself. We had time for only 1 game because everybody mingles when you provide food and drinks then its gift opening mostly. 
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  • dznutsdznuts member
    Thank you for the input ladies! :)

    The closer we get to the due date, the more comfortable I start to feel. After talking more with my mom, she said we can discuss shower later down the road, so that's reassuring and a lot less pressuring.  Pitched the idea of the BBQ to friends who have been asking about a shower and they were far more people were receptive than I was expecting despite backlash from the initial die-hard baby shower people.   So we are leaning towards option 3.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    There is no rule that showers must occur before the baby is born. Many, many people have them afterward, including my sister. I like the bbq idea, and I'm glad they seem receptive, but if your mom still wants to host a shower, tell her you want it after the baby arrives. 
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