PGAL Check-In 4/5/2017

justsuzie · April 2017

I hope it's okay that I am starting this! I stole this from another group:

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

3. EDD? How far along are you?

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

5. When is your next appointment?

6. Rants/raves/whatever

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?

vvitchhazel · April 2017

Not PGAL, but wanted to point out that it's 4/5

justsuzie · April 2017

I guess I'm still stuck in March! But so ready for April weather. Thanks @vvitchhazel

justsuzie · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

Suzie, 36 DH 33. Ectopic 9/23 treated with 6 brutal shots of methotrexate. CP February.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Sore boobs, heartburn, cramps

3. EDD? How far along are you?

12/6 or 7/2017 (FF kept going back and forth) 5 weeks

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I had a massive anxiety attack yesterday which caused me to leave work and then I stressed that I was having another ectopic because of cramping so we went to the ER. After 4 hours we confirmed a UTERINE PG!

5. When is your next appointment?

Thursday. My OB wants to verify the US from the ER. I get so stressed out at US apts. I hope I can keep it together. I always study the technicians face to read their reaction. Bad thing to do.

6. Rants/raves/whatever

Just smiling from ear-to-ear about the pg being in the right spot.

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb.
No way. I can't even keep houseplants alive! I always try to start a garden but fail miserably each year.

edit- I'm 36 not 35 (wishful thinking)

katiegeminimoon · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

Katie 29, DH 25. I had a MC March of '16. We found out there was a problem, had weekly appts for 5 weeks (pure hell), then had the MC at 11 weeks. The way it happened was pretty traumatic, so I am super scared right now.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

None really. Sore boobs occasionally. eta: forgot I also cannot seem to sleep through the night anymore and peeing more frequently.

3. EDD? How far along are you?

11/30 - 5w6d

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Eh. Some days are better than others. I will feel much better after an ultrasound. They won't do one Monday at my appt, which makes me mad.

5. When is your next appointment?

Monday April 10

6. Rants/raves/whatever

My dr office refuses to schedule me for an US and I don't understand why! I had a pretty bad situation last year so I would think they would want to check to be safe?!

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?
Nope, but I wish I did!

TigerCakes · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating) - I had a MMC in November 2016 at 8 weeks.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Pretty good! My boobs are sore and I have heartburn already. I had no symptoms with my loss so I find the symptoms comforting

3. EDD? How far along are you? 12/11 4 weeks 2 days

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I got my beta results yesterday and the #'s were great, so that has helped. Unfortunately, I will probably be pretty anxious the whole pregnancy. ***Not sure if it's needed, but TW*** I had major complications with my son's birth and will be considered high risk this entire pregnancy because of them ***End TW***

5. When is your next appointment? 1 week from today I'm having an early ultrasound! FX the baby will be measuring on track

6. Rants/raves/whatever I'm going to my SIL's birthday party tomorrow at a beer hall and I'm struggling to come up with a plan for how to hide that I'm not drinking. I was hoping they had non alcoholic beer, but they don't. I already used not feeling well this past weekend, so I can't do that again.

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb? No, I wish I did though! I'm so bad I can't even keep cacti alive.

@justsuzie Thanks for starting this! Yay for the baby being in the right spot!
@ktcakes87 I'm so sorry your doctor won't give you an ultrasound. Is there an option to go to another doctor? That would really upset me too.

vvitchhazel · April 2017

@TigerCakes Can you just carry a beer around? Maybe get something in a dark bottle, dump it out and replace it with water? Or maybe let the bartender in on your secret and see if they can swap it out for ginger ale or something?

justsuzie · April 2017

@ktcakes87 Sorry your office is being a pain. PGAL anxiety is REAL! Sorry they are being dumb.

@TigerCakes Hooray for symptoms! Hooray for good betas. Keep the good news coming!

cmillar36 · April 2017

1. I lost my daughter Nora 17/02/2016. She had Full Trisomy 18 and was stillborn. This was at 23 weeks gestation. Hardest loss of my life. It was awful.

I also had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks 19/09/2016. D&C the following day as it was incomplete.

2. I'm a nervous wreck after 2 losses in 6 months last year. Unlike my last pregnancy though I'm having some symptoms so that's a good sign I'm sure.

3. Dec 10th. 4+3

4. Anxiety wise I think I'm actually doing ok for the most part. I think I will relax a little after my appointment a week today.

5. 04/12. 1st OB appointment see doctor hopefully an ultrasound soon after.

6. None

7. GTKY not yet lol. We have a huge yard. Actually planning a memorial garden of some sort to Nora. It's still too early here for gardens though.

peachy13 · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating) I'm 30, DH is 31. We have a dog and live near Boston.
Here's the long story: we got pregnant our first cycle trying in Oct 2016 and I had all the pregnancy symptoms. I even knew I was pregnant before I got my BFP... just had this crazy feeling. All of a sudden I started getting super nervous about everything and was literally shaking in the doctor's office at our first appointment/ultrasound when I was around 7 weeks. I was incredibly nervous and was kind of expecting bad news for some reason. During the ultrasound, the technician had to search around my uterus to find something and I any positive thoughts I may have had just drained out of me. There was a sac there, but no fetal pole or anything. The doctor told me that I could just be earlier than I had stated when I called, but because I was using an ovulation predictor kit, I was pretty positive of how far along I was. They had my levels drawn after the appt and unfortunately my progesterone was really low, at a 6.5. They said if my hcg levels were doubling over 2 days that they could put me on a progesterone supplement, but my hcg was slow rising, so my pregnancy wasn't viable. So at this point I was just waiting to miscarry, but then at my follow-up ultrasound a week later, nothing had changed so my doctor strongly suggested a D&C in order to get the process started, to prevent any infections (if tissue and stuff stays in you too long) and also just to help me emotionally and physically restart. I went in for the d&c the day before Thanksgiving which on one hand was nice because it allowed me to have a few days off to recover, but on the other hand sad because we had planned to tell our families after what we had hoped was a successful ultrasound. We did end up telling close family about everything. It took a while for my body to get back to normal and I ovulated again this past January (2017) but we didn't try then and I got my first period in months. Then we tried again in Feb and March, and I got my BFP on 3/24. Weirdly this time, I wasn't that sure if I was pregnant, but took a test anyway and was stunned to see a BFP. A noticeable difference too was that the line on the test showed up very quickly, and last time it took a while to show.
Here's the short story: Trying for my first baby -- had a miscarriage last fall and got pregnant at the end of March.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Pretty good. The first time around, my pregnancy symptoms were pretty strong and now they seem more subtle and subdued, which doesn't really worry me since I obviously want this pregnancy to be a different outcome. My breasts are getting more full and sore as the days go on, and the cramping is come and go, but just mild and nothing crazy. I'm pretty bloated and constipated, and feeling hungry all the time. OH, and one thing that's been totally different from last time is the discharge. Last time I was completely dry the whole time, and this time around I'm having some wettish, white discharge. It's not sticky or thick, and it was more prevalent last week, but it seems to be kind of coming back now a little bit. It's the same kind of discharge I usually get a week before AF, which is why I was shocked to get my BFP.

3. EDD? How far along are you? Based on when I think I ovulated, I think my EDD is 12/5, but it could also be a day or two later.

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Pretty good. I'm much calmer this time around just because I know it is awful to go each day worrying and panicking about the unknown. It drove me crazy last time. But I'm especially calm because I had my levels drawn last week... this is something my doctor's office does to patients who are PGAL. My progesterone was great at a 30, and my hcg levels doubled just fine.

5. When is your next appointment? First ultrasound and appointment is in just about a week, next Thurs! I'm really looking forward to it.

6. Rants/raves/whatever I'm in two weddings this Sept and we just went bridesmaid dress shopping for both of them before I got my BFP. A little worried about the non returnable dresses... I mean, no one's fault but I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it all works out!

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb? No, I wish I did though! I usually buy nice fake plants from Home Goods and no one can see the difference.

justsuzie · April 2017

@cmillar36 Sorry for the rough past year. New year, new good things are going to happen for you.

babypi · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating) I had 2CPs prior to my DD, most recently had a MMC with D&C at 10 weeks on 12/5/17

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I think nausea is creeping in today, and I've been constipated and bloated the whole last week

3. EDD? How far along are you?

Based on ovulation I'll be due 12/6, but that could change, I didn't get my BFP until 19 dpo.

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
I'm actually pretty stressed, but excited too. I worry about how late my BFP arrived and that it means that something's going to go wrong again.

5. When is your next appointment? We just moved to a new city, so I still have to get established with a PCM before I can get a referral to an OB. This takes time with Tricare, so I'm a little worried about that too. I want confirmation soonest.

6. Rants/raves/whatever
we just moved so I guess my rant is just how much I still have to do to get things settled.

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?
not really. I have a hard time keeping plants alive because my cat eats houseplants and I forget to water outdoor plants. My DH is awesome at growing things though.

grochril · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)
Hi fellow PGALs! So happy to be here again. My name is Christi, 30 and DH 32. We've been trying since 8/2015..had a chemical pregnancy in 11/15, and then months of nothing. Finally in 6/16 we got the BFP, and I ended up MC at 9 weeks. During that time I really only had the tender breasts and constipation so I'm really hoping for all the symptoms this time around! I've been put on levothyroxine since then as they found my levels high, and also just had a thrombosis panel done where they found my blood is prone to clotting. I've been on baby aspirin since my last AF and we got a BFP on 3/26!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
fatigue, tender breasts, some cramping, and dizziness when standing- and weirdly insomnia at night

3. EDD? How far along are you?
5w0d- EDD 12/6/17

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

- it varies, some days in terrified of MC again but other days I'm OK. I find myself feeling my boobs a lot to make sure they still hurt!!

5. When is your next appointment?

- tomorrow for a follow up that was previously scheduled. Probably get a blood panel done. 4/14 is first US.

6. Rants/raves/whatever

I was at the dentist on Monday, and my hygienist is 20w. I had to tell her I was PG due to X-rays and she goes "oh, I hope you don't get the nausea!" I'm like, honey, I seriously want every symptom there is- you have no idea. I know you ladies will understand!!

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?
- Surprisingly yes. I don't do well with house plants however because my cats go after them

rainbowdashh · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

This is my 5th pregnancy after a second tri loss in November 2015 and losing my 3 week old son in October.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

no symptoms really. Just so tired.

3. EDD? How far along are you?

EDD is 12/15, so I'm not even 4 weeks. It feels too early to be participating but oh well. Today I am pregnant.

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

My anxiety isn't terrible yet, but I can feel it ramping up. My husband and I carry a genetic condition that was responsible for the loss of our infant. I'm very nervous this could all happen again.

5. When is your next appointment?

Intake appointment next Thursday, my first OB appointment and ultrasound is 5/2

6. Rants/raves/whatever

I spent a bunch of money on new clothes and now they get to sit in my closet for awhile. I've never been so happy to say that.

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?

I have the exact opposite of a green thumb!

justsuzie · April 2017

@peachy13 Sorry for your loss. It's great that you aren't that anxious this go around. FX this continues. I have huge anxiety problems and wow, it's crazy how pgal brain takes over when you have a minor twinge or ache.

@babypi Congrats! So happy you are here. Best thoughts going your way. Don't stress over the late BFP. Just focus on getting that OB!

@grochril Hey EDD buddy! Yes, I say, bring on the symptoms. The more the better! I think us pgal-ers are grateful no matter what the struggle is to get to that baby in our arms. Especially ftmS!

justsuzie · April 2017

@saltylovely So sorry for your losses. Never too early to participate. Be happy for what you have now. I've started trying to be more mindful of what is happening in the moment rather than focusing on the future or present. And of course it is difficult and anxiety takes over and I freak out about what "could" happen because of what "has happened" but I still try. I hope you can stick around with us! And woo hoo for wasting money on clothes that probably won't fit for some time to come!

rainbowdashh · April 2017

@justsuzie I'm definitely trying to stay in the present. I keep telling myself that for now I'm pregnant and anything that may happen is out of my control. It's hard, but I've had one full term pregnancy after a loss and I survived. I can do this again.

TigerCakes · April 2017

@vvitchhazel Good ideas! I think I'm just going to carry around a beer and strategically dump it out in the bathroom or make my DH drink it. Thank you!

missbmama · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)
hi! My name is Brittany, I'm 28 and my husband is 29. We got married super young and never worried about birth control. It took 4 years for us to get pregnant the first time and it ended in a miscarriage at 9 weeks. We had two boys after and had a surprise pregnancy in Jan this year that ended in a miscarriage after a health scare and 10 day stay in the hospital for me. My boys are almost 4 and 14 months.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I'm cramping a ton and have some pretty severe indigestion issues. I thinking my body is a little upset from having my gallbladder removed and now stretching for pregnancy.

3. EDD? How far along are you?
I can actually give an exact due date! Usually I end up skipping a period and then ovulating and conceiving so I can never pinpoint my due dates. But this time I know I'm due Dec 4th according to LMP

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
Eh... I was supposed to go in and have a stint removed on the 11th but I'm refusing to go under. I refuse to do anything that could jeapordize this lo's life. The anxiety creeps up most when I start having painful cramps. I run to the toilet thinking I'll find blood but there isn't any so it makes me hopeful... that and I pee on all the sticks.

5. When is your next appointment?

My first midwife appointment is this coming Monday!

6. Rants/raves/whatever

My sister just took a test and she's super early pregnant!!! So that's exciting. It'll be her first. She's 8 years younger than me and will be married a year next month. I'm excited to enjoy this journey with her.

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?

Umm NO. I kill everything. Our friends gave us some kind of plant for a house warming gift that barely needs water or sunlight... I killed it within 3 months.

justsuzie · April 2017

@missbmama Welcome! Sorry for your losses. Glad you are here with us. The toilet blood watch is my biggest anxiety. I actually went to the ER because of cramps but thankfully no bleeding. The first time I was in the ER for 10 hours dealing with an ectopic after cramps and blood. just feel like I am super aware of everything going on in my body and it is terrifying sometimes. I just want to be able to breathe. I think hearing the HB will help for all of us pgal. And after that, setting another milestone to look forward to.

babypi · April 2017

Well, I managed to get confirmation of pregnancy from the Tricare clinic and get the referral to the OB department. But now they are refusing to see me before 8 weeks, despite our history of MMC that was discovered at our 8 week appointment. Apparently Navy Medical doesn't care about my history of 3 losses until I have bleeding and/or cramps. My PGAL anxiety will have to wait several weeks to be calmed.

justsuzie · April 2017

@babypi Great news that the pg is confirmed! Congrats. Sorry about not being able to go in sooner. I have weekly ultrasound apts and they are actually super stressful for me to the point where I get so nervous I almost get dizzy. GL!

Orlaa · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

I'm Irish, 33 years old, living in Italy. TTC for 20 months, had a miscarriage (7 weeks) last March. Finally got my BFP this morning.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

No symptoms yet. Last week I had a metallic taste in my mouth 3 different times while eating. But nothing since then. I want to feel some symptoms soon to make this feel more real.

3. EDD? How far along are you?

16th of December. 4 weeks.

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I really want to just concentrate on the fact that, right now, I'm pregnant. So far not feeling anxious but then again it's only day 1.

5. When is your next appointment?

Wednesday the 12th. I'd been doing follicular monitoring at the hospital so I called this morning and they told me to come in on Wednesday. I'm relieved to have an appointment so soon. With my last pregnancy I was told I'd have to wait until week 8 but I only made it as far as week 7.

6. Rants/raves/whatever

Just incredibly happy and at the same time finding it hard to believe it's finally happened.

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?

I've been doing a good bit of gardening over the past 3 years after moving to a new house. I find I mostly enjoy buying and planting new flowers - I'm not great at the maintenance.

justsuzie · April 2017

@Orlaa I love your positivity. GL

at your apt.

flowerpower5838 · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

Hi all. I am 29, DH is 31. Just POAS yesterday as I have been waiting for AF to visit since MC in March and what do you know...it was positive, not even a squinter. This is my 7th pregnancy - 1 ectopic, 2 MCs, baby boy, 2 MCs and this pregnancy. So I am not exactly excited at this point, but alas that is PGAL.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

No symptoms as I am only just about 4 weeks.

3. EDD? How far along are you?

I believe my EDD is 12/19. Didn't have sex before that and any sex we had after probably wouldn't have allowed me to turn a test yet.

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I am honestly not anxious at all. I have an awful talent at kind of removing all emotion until after something happens. It is what it is.

5. When is your next appointment?

Going tomorrow to get some blood drawn to see if any levels that can be supplemented are low. I did not have low progesterone with my son so I don't anticipate that being the case.

6. Rants/raves/whatever

None today!

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?

I have to LOL because I totally participated in this on the November board. No. I have a black thumb and I am not "allowed" to buy any plants this year haha. I HAVE kept an aloe vera plant alive for like 2 years though so that's something.

NME44 · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

*tw* i hope its okay to participate. I have had children since my loss, but I still have that PGAL mentality when it comes to the first trimester. I had a missed mc when I was 9 weeks with my first. In subsequent pregnancies it turns out I have low progesterone, so I kind of assume that's what the problem was.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

im only 4 weeks pregnant. I'm tired, but that could be from traveling.

3. EDD? How far along are you?

4 weeks. EDD December 18/19?

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Okay right now. A little bit in disbelief I guess still.

5. When is your next appointment?

Nothing scheduled yet.

6. Rants/raves/whatever

I have to fly back home tomorrow. I hate to fly in the first place; my anxiety is doubled when I'm pregnant for no logical reason. Also, my MIL keeps telling me "not to talk like that!" when I say I hope this one sticks. I just want to be able to talk through my thoughts without judgement.

and I hate the waiting to get that first appointment scheduled. I just NEED to have my blood drawn so I can get on my supplements, PLEASE!

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?

no.

blueskies17 · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

Hi ladies, I'm a 31 y/o FTM and my DH is 39. We have had 2 back to back losses in the last 6 months, both around 8-9 weeks.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Very tired (edited to add: also extremely thirsty - always my first pregnancy symptom!)

3. EDD? How far along are you?

EDD is Dec 5. Technically 5w6d today according to LMP. I ovulate late, so it's probably closer to 5w2d.

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I'm grateful to be pg again but the nerves (with a mix of denial) are outweighing any excitement.

5. When is your next appointment?

4/18

6. Rants/raves/whatever

Nothing today

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb?
Nope, that's DH's territory!

justsuzie · April 2017

@flowerpower5838 welcome and fx for great betas. I envy your control your anxiety!

@NME44 welcome. I hate flying too! And now you can't even have a cocktail to ease the anxiety!

@blueskies17 welcome. I have had multiple back to back losses as well, one of them being an ectopic so I can understand how you must feel. It sucks we can't be as excited as we were before losses! Good luck on your journey.

NME44 · April 2017

I have a Rave! My OB called me back and I have an appointment to get my bloodwork on Wednesday! I had no idea they'd do it so soon

have I mentioned I love my OB?

edited Bc it cut off the end of my post.

omg edited again because it's bloodwork, not bloodworm.

thatlauragirl · April 2017

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating) Hi, I'm Laura. I'm 38 and my dh just turned 41. We have a 6 yr old son. Last year we lost a son at 15 weeks in May (trisomy related heart defect) and a daughter at 11 weeks in December (complications from pneumonia).

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I started feeling nauseous over the weekend and it made me happy.

3. EDD? How far along are you? Just 5w1d.

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Off the charts today. I got a call from my dr. with my labwork and my progesterone was only 7.54. I knew it was low because my luteal phase has been short and my temps have been low.

5. When is your next appointment? Repeat bloodwork is tomorrow morning and then they'll decide from there.

6. Rants/raves/whatever Do you ever wonder what it must feel like to have a pregnancy without the worry that comes with being a loss mama? I can't imagine how blissful it would be to not have these fears.

7. GTKY: Do you have a green thumb? Yes! My grandparents really got me into gardening and although I'm not half as talented as they were, I still love playing outside in the dirt.

I'm looking forward to chatting with y'all and praying with all my heart that we're all on our way to rainbow babies in our arms.

rainbowdashh · April 2017

The anxiety is real today. I'm just waiting for it to go wrong and it's such a miserable feeling.

justsuzie · April 2017

@saltylovely I'm so sorry you are feeling that way. My anxiety is pretty high too. I have an US Thursday and I am anticipating the worst. I don't have sore boobs anymore and I have some brown spotting. My DH says I am overreacting but I just have a sense of doom and gloom.

thatlauragirl · April 2017

@saltylovely, I'm so sorry. Anxiety is just the worst, isn't it? Hoping you get some relief soon.

@justsuzie, fingers crossed the spotting disappears quickly!

rainbowdashh · April 2017

@justsuzie I hope everything goes well Thursday. It's hard to push those feelings aside.

I don't have an ultrasound until May 2. I might call and beg to be seen sooner, but I'm not sure they'll budge.

rainbowdashh · April 2017

@thatlauragirl it really is! I just want the thoughts to stop. I'm hoping my first ultrasound helps.

flowerpower5838 · April 2017

@thatlauragirl YES SO MUCH. PGAL is so awful. It robs us all of the ability to truly enjoy those first few weeks and months and even beyond for many. I am always so envious of women that are just naively happy in early pregnancy. DH and I hardly acknowledge it anymore, it's rather sad.

justsuzie · April 2017

@flowerpower5838 This, everything you said. Amen.

NME44 · April 2017

@flowerpower5838, yes. All of that. I was just telling my husband that it feels weird to be pregnant when I wanted to, on purpose (previous 3 pregnancies have not been when we had hoped and one was totally unplanned. All of them were wanted, though.) So I'm just kind of trying to move forward with life as normal and hope I can trick it into not being a disaster.

blueskies17 · April 2017

@justsuzie thank you and best of luck to you too!

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