Grossest thing EVER

Cricket99 · March 2017

I know everyone has one of those stories about the grossest, nastiest, most disgusting thing their toddler has ever done. Let's hear 'em!

Mine:
A couple of days ago I took LO outside to play because it's 60 degrees and sunny and an absolute shame to waste it. I was grabbing a drink of my water and put my water bottle down to find my toddler with dog poo squished between the fingers of both of his hands. Cue frantic screaming and running to him so he doesn't put it in his mouth. Guys, I had literally just picked up the poop and this was the only piece I missed.... it was horrible.

kaym6 · March 2017

Samuel was sitting in his highchair the other week playing or so I thought while I got dinner started. When I turned around he had pooped out the side of his diaper scooped it up in his hands and smeared it everywhere including all
over his face and IN his mouth. It was horrible haha

JanuarysBaby1 · March 2017

Omg I don't have anything nearly as bad as the poop stories. Just your typical picking of the nose and boogies in the mouth. But i literally laughed out loud reading both of these posts! I know it's only if matter of time before I have my own poopy story

fishee333 · March 2017

These are really funny!

When I was showering one day, LO was running around naked in the same bathroom. Well she peed on the floor, then immediately crouched down and started smearing and splashing it all around before I was able to hop out of the shower and clean it up. At least it wasn't poop.

l4rk · March 2017

Sometimes my LO gets sick at night but is completely fine after. So I went in one night and saw that her bed was soaked with puke. I was exhausted so instead of cleaning it, I just took off her clothes, gave her a wipe with a washcloth and then brought her back into bed with me. We fell asleep with her on top of me and it was so sweet. ...Next thing I know, I'm waking up to the feeling of warm, wet liquid pouring all over my body. Sure enough, LO was puking again, this time all over my sleeping body. By the time I fully comprehended what was happening, it was too late. I was already soaked, from chin to crotch, in disgusting chunky vomit. She kept throwing up all over me and I let it happen, while my SO onlooked in horror, because there was just nothing left to lose.

SDaniels19 · March 2017

LO sleeps in a sleep sack, so sometimes I would just have him in pj top, diaper and the sack for bed time. Well, he had a blow out one night so when I opened the sack in the morning, there were bits of poop on the sack, his legs, in between his toes, etc. To make it worse, after I got him cleaned up, I threw the sack straight in the wash- once it finished and I went to put in the dryer I realized there were undigested bits of food from his poop all in my washer! I had to pick them all out of the washer & clothes, it was not fun! I now realize I should have rinsed the sack first. I now also put pants on him even if it is warm- at least they are one extra layer to contain a blow out!

failuretofly · March 2017

Oh man... a couple weeks ago DS got a stomach bug, one night he woke and puked in his crib, I went to get him and after I picked him up he puked ALL over me... I was covered in vomit from the neck down. Needless to say I ended up catching his stomach bug...

Cricket99 · March 2017

Oh these are good. Motherhood in all of its glory!

charliesmommy6 · March 2017

These are great! Glad I'm not alone!

I've also been puked on when LO was sick and sleeping in our bed. We were both not feeling well so I just wiped us both up layed towels on the bed and went back to sleep

woke up the next morning with dried puke in my hair

stephanienjer · March 2017

I have been puked on a LOT, but this last Monday took the cake. Birdie was asleep in my bed on my chest when she sat straight up and puked on my face, hair, neck and all over the bed and herself. All I could do was lie there and let it happen so as to not spread the mess any farther. It's a new bed, and I'm so grateful my friend talked me into getting the mattress pad, even though I don't like the way they feel. I carried us both into the bathroom, stood her in the middle of the tile floor, and jumped in the shower fully clothed. Once the worst of it was gone, we did a tandem bath. Luckily she is only 5 steps from the bed even in the bath, so I was able to strip the bed while she was in full sight playing in the tub.

cyanope · March 2017

Haha...these are great! Up until last week, I wouldn't have had a story to even compare, but now I feel like I can join the club!
LO has had a bit of a cold/cough all week. One night last week, I put LO to bed, but she FREAKED out crying when I tried to walk out of her room (She never does this). The crying turned to coughing, and LO has a habit of throwing up when she coughs too much (I have discovered). I ran back in to try to calm her down before she threw up, picked her up out of her crib, and sat down in the rocking chair to calm her down. I was too late. She puked all over both of us and the chair. I would like to say that this was the end of it, but we ended up having two baths and three outfit changes that night after several coughing fits. LO was so upset that she wouldn't let me put her down. DH wasn't home, so I found myself holding a toddler in one arm, and cleaning up chunks of food/scrubbing the carpet with the other. I just kept telling myself (out loud), "We're okay. We're okay. We'll figure this all out." Needless to say, I fell sleep the second my head hit the pillow that night, and slept like a (not sick) baby.

KFrob · March 2017

I've had Harper throw up on me also. It was projectile and like many of you, I just let it happen. One night we had a poop in the bathtub happen, so I took her out, was trying to work as fast as I could to spray down the tub to disinfect it while she stood there playing with the toilet and proceeded to pee all over the floor. One of the grossest things she's done lately was take the vacuum hose that I use to get in the corners and under stuff and put her mouth around it. The grossest thing she'e ever done according to my husband (and on his watch) is take a giant handful of wet cat food and eat it. He gags just recalling her do it! lol

ekscopp · March 2017

Well I definitely needed that comic relief!! Thanks and sorry, lol! I don't have anything anywhere near as gross or hilarious. But LO has always spit up, and there have been many occasions of puke in all areas of my body that puke should never be. In addition to her eating it, or trying to anyways. I wish I could up load a video bc she just pukes all over the coffee table and starts smearing it all around like it's nothing. Kids are gross.

Mamabeagle · March 2017

Ugh...one day Matty actually ate dog shit. My sister was watching him and she was not fast enough.

Kelley421 · March 2017

Lololol I feel so much better now thanks for sharing!
One of my girls ate cat vomit..that's prob the worst.

jarob747 · April 2017

My first son (now 15) ate bird poop off the step once. Yuck!!!

failuretofly · April 2017

So DS managed to get dog poop in his mouth today

I saw it on the lawn, thought I should probably pick it up... then didn't... for whatever reason.
So that happened, at least he didn't chew it or anything! So I scooped him up and ran to the bathroom to clean him up, then put him down on the floor to wash my hands and he stands up an starts playing in the toilet water!! So I pick him up to wash his hands again and he manages to wiggle himself right into the sink so he's soaking wet. I take his onesie off and notice his diaper is absolutely FULL of crap... ugh...it's been a long evening!

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