It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
I think everyone's experience is really different regarding breast feeding. It's really hard and a ton of work but as much as I hated pumping it was more efficient for me. I pumped a ton and could bottle feed and DD would be full much longer...and sleep through the night from very early. She didn't nurse well and always fell asleep so I'd always end up having to pump anyways. It was sooooo time consuming to always do both. If she nursed she'd always be hungry again in an hour. Freemies were my life saver. I pumped in my car on the drive to and from work! I'd say go in with no expectations bc some things are out of your control. DD had really bad jaundice and had to be under lights for 24 straight hrs. I wasn't able to nurse those crucial first hours which was likely why she preferred the bottle...I had planned to exclusively nurse but that went out the window quickly!
^^ agreed! I think it's really important to keep an open mind because you NEVER know what life will throw at you. I was DEAD SET on EBFing and was annoying and smug passing up on the formula samples. I was going to make all of his food myself, clean and organic. And I did, for 9 months. But then he was sick.
Fast forward 6 years and my kindergartener is on a 100% formula diet. I get it, life. You're in charge.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
STMs when should I start looking at childcare options and any advice on how to find centers, decide on a center, questions to ask etc? Very stressed about this part.
@jess0211 - The "when" really depends on where you live. You could always call a few and ask if they have infant openings or not. Then you'll have an idea of whether you're dealing with wait lists.
When we had to find a center, we wanted one close to home, so I googled "childcare" nearby my address. I read the Google reviews on the centers that popped up close to me. I went to their websites. I went to my state's website and was able to look at all of the Keystone Stars ratings and also see any reprimands they had gotten from state inspectors. Once I had weeded out the centers that continuously got negative reviews or had a lot of issues on state inspections, I set up appointments to visit 4 or 5.
I went crazy coming up with lists of questions to ask and everything, but, truth be told, most had informational packets that had all of the information in them already. My visits were more about the feel of the place. We visited the center we ended up going with twice - once with an appointment and once just randomly - and both times the kids were happy and playing. They were independent, but weren't running wild. They were smiling and respectful (as respectful as toddlers and preschoolers could be). The infants weren't screaming. They were being paid attention to and seemed loved. And yes, over the last 4 years, I've had issues with the center, but they have been good about working it out together because they really care about my kids.
So, I wouldn't worry about going crazy with questions. They're going to get answered when the directors are trying to sell you on their place. I would spend more time taking in the feel of each place and observing the interactions between teachers and kids.
@jess0211 This really depends on where you live, but if you live in a big city now is definitely a good time. Getting on a waiting list isn't a bad idea at this point. You'll want to go see the center. Do a quick google search for some close to your house, on your way to work, and close to work. Some questions to ask off the top of my head: What is the staff-to-child ratio, is food provided, how are the children grouped (by age/development), immunizations for other kids, staff qualifications, and their sick child policy. Oh, and fees. Make a spreadsheet and let that help you decide.
@jess0211 I'm a FTM but living in a big city. Once we put down a deposit on a new apartment, I'm calling all the daycares I like in the area to put myself on a waiting list. Then we'll go and visit them all. We'll be putting down a deposit hopefully next month and that will be my first task after we do so, I know daycares in my city are pretty competitive. In some areas, the moms put themselves on lists two years ahead of time!
Any STMs suffer from SPD in previous pregnancies? During my last PG, it was pretty painful pelvic pain. Being mindful of my posture was the only thing that kept it from getting worse. A support belt and chiro didn't help. Thought I'd see if anyone has a great suggestion or just wants to commiserate!
@MississippiCatfish I had it pretty badly my second pregnancy towards the end. I was told to make a conscious effort to not do anything to widen my pelvis (stop yoga, no sitting Indian style, etc). I can't say that stopping any of those activities really helped though.
@kissthesky32 Yes! That's what I mean when I said "posture" - couldn't think of a better word. Wish there was a magic potion or something. Bracing myself for it to be worse this time around:/
@jess0211 I can't remember either... I'm in Delco. Where are you at? College friends live all over the Philly area, so I could probably get you a rec if you're anywhere around here.
For daycares - we've been through a lot of them. It's really a mix of what is important to you, what your exact situation is, and how willing they are to work with you.
Daycare #1 I chose because the workers seemed nice and it was close enough to work that I could visit and nurse him every day. He left that center when I left that job, probably about 6m old.
Daycare #2 I chose because it was close to our house (his dad worked from home and could be there quickly in case of emergency), and it was a big chain center (Goddard). I felt comfortable with the clear and documented policies and guidelines. I liked that it was a "school-like" setting as he was moving toward toddlerhood. Unfortunately, it only lasted about a year as he got a feeding tube placed and the school wasn't comfortable providing his care. I'd 100% rather they be honest and don't harbor any ill will. They worked extensively with us while he was there to accommodate his allergies and special needs, the tube was just more than they were comfortable with and their parent company didn't want the liability, so they were making things difficult.
At that time, I took a year off of working and stayed home with him. I wanted to let his medical situation stabilize. We also moved in that time. When I went back to work, we got a live-in nanny for a bit and nanny-shared with some friends (actually, women from my BMB). But I did want him back in a school type setting - by this time we knew he had autism and needed a very structured program and lots of peer interaction.
Daycare #3 I chose because it was close to our new house, and very very willing to work with us on everything he needed. Right up until we got shift nursing to attend with him - then they flipped out and kicked him out. Turns out, they were operating way over capacity with a number of state violations, and didn't want someone in the center reporting back to me all day. Big drama.
Final daycare (#4) was another big chain center, and were happy to have nurses, therapists, and whatever else I threw at them. He stayed there until he moved to Kindergarten.
Having been through all of that and touring countless more, I think choosing a new one would really be a "does this place feel right?" thing, coupled with wanting to understand how flexible they were (some places don't have a lot of flexibility for special situations because they're owned by a parent company)
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
Just a plug for kindercare (it's a national chain) we have been super happy with them and my girlfriend uses them in another state and is also happy with them.
we chose it based on hours (we needed a place open until 6:30 for the occasional late night at work) and recommendations. Also they have very strict rules and policies which I like since DD spends so much time there.
One thing I'm so happy I did was delegate the daycare task to H. He did all the initial research and visited a bunch of places (5 or 6) and then when we had our top two picked out I went and toured them both. This was really helpful getting him involved in the process and it took a lot of work off my plate!
Our most successful daycare (#4) was a Kindercare. If I need daycare again, we will just about for sure go back.
Its a very structured environment with established curriculum BUT they were wonderful about modifying it for us as needed (my son couldn't have food ingredients in his curriculum due to severe allergies). Example, they couldn't use what was planned in the sensory bin if it was food, which it often was - rice, beans, peas, corn, etc. they always found something else to make sure my boy was safe in his classroom.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
Re: FTM questions for STMs 3/11
https://americanpregnancy.org/prenatal-testing/
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
Fast forward 6 years and my kindergartener is on a 100% formula diet. I get it, life. You're in charge.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
STMs when should I start looking at childcare options and any advice on how to find centers, decide on a center, questions to ask etc? Very stressed about this part.
When we had to find a center, we wanted one close to home, so I googled "childcare" nearby my address. I read the Google reviews on the centers that popped up close to me. I went to their websites. I went to my state's website and was able to look at all of the Keystone Stars ratings and also see any reprimands they had gotten from state inspectors. Once I had weeded out the centers that continuously got negative reviews or had a lot of issues on state inspections, I set up appointments to visit 4 or 5.
I went crazy coming up with lists of questions to ask and everything, but, truth be told, most had informational packets that had all of the information in them already. My visits were more about the feel of the place. We visited the center we ended up going with twice - once with an appointment and once just randomly - and both times the kids were happy and playing. They were independent, but weren't running wild. They were smiling and respectful (as respectful as toddlers and preschoolers could be). The infants weren't screaming. They were being paid attention to and seemed loved. And yes, over the last 4 years, I've had issues with the center, but they have been good about working it out together because they really care about my kids.
So, I wouldn't worry about going crazy with questions. They're going to get answered when the directors are trying to sell you on their place. I would spend more time taking in the feel of each place and observing the interactions between teachers and kids.
@MississippiCatfish I had it pretty badly my second pregnancy towards the end. I was told to make a conscious effort to not do anything to widen my pelvis (stop yoga, no sitting Indian style, etc). I can't say that stopping any of those activities really helped though.
Daycare #1 I chose because the workers seemed nice and it was close enough to work that I could visit and nurse him every day. He left that center when I left that job, probably about 6m old.
Daycare #2 I chose because it was close to our house (his dad worked from home and could be there quickly in case of emergency), and it was a big chain center (Goddard). I felt comfortable with the clear and documented policies and guidelines. I liked that it was a "school-like" setting as he was moving toward toddlerhood. Unfortunately, it only lasted about a year as he got a feeding tube placed and the school wasn't comfortable providing his care. I'd 100% rather they be honest and don't harbor any ill will. They worked extensively with us while he was there to accommodate his allergies and special needs, the tube was just more than they were comfortable with and their parent company didn't want the liability, so they were making things difficult.
At that time, I took a year off of working and stayed home with him. I wanted to let his medical situation stabilize. We also moved in that time. When I went back to work, we got a live-in nanny for a bit and nanny-shared with some friends (actually, women from my BMB). But I did want him back in a school type setting - by this time we knew he had autism and needed a very structured program and lots of peer interaction.
Daycare #3 I chose because it was close to our new house, and very very willing to work with us on everything he needed. Right up until we got shift nursing to attend with him - then they flipped out and kicked him out. Turns out, they were operating way over capacity with a number of state violations, and didn't want someone in the center reporting back to me all day. Big drama.
Final daycare (#4) was another big chain center, and were happy to have nurses, therapists, and whatever else I threw at them. He stayed there until he moved to Kindergarten.
Having been through all of that and touring countless more, I think choosing a new one would really be a "does this place feel right?" thing, coupled with wanting to understand how flexible they were (some places don't have a lot of flexibility for special situations because they're owned by a parent company)
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
we chose it based on hours (we needed a place open until 6:30 for the occasional late night at work) and recommendations. Also they have very strict rules and policies which I like since DD spends so much time there.
One thing I'm so happy I did was delegate the daycare task to H. He did all the initial research and visited a bunch of places (5 or 6) and then when we had our top two picked out I went and toured them both. This was really helpful getting him involved in the process and it took a lot of work off my plate!
Its a very structured environment with established curriculum BUT they were wonderful about modifying it for us as needed (my son couldn't have food ingredients in his curriculum due to severe allergies). Example, they couldn't use what was planned in the sensory bin if it was food, which it often was - rice, beans, peas, corn, etc. they always found something else to make sure my boy was safe in his classroom.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]