PAIF (Pregnant After Infertility) - Check In - 3/18

pawcall · March 2017

Note: This thread will include discussion of infertility and loss. If these topics are triggering for you, please take care of yourself while reading and posting here.

This thread is for those of us who went through infertility testing and treatments before becoming pregnant. Many of us have had different struggles to get to this place and face different anxiety and concerns now. This thread is for us to support each other, and we hope it will be a safe space. Though this thread starts on Saturdays, please feel free to post here at any time during the week, whether for good news or bad. Consider this an ongoing conversation. This thread is for those who have experienced infertility. The struggles we discuss may or may not apply to those who became pregnant easily. If you have not experienced infertility, please be considerate and sensitive if you feel the need to post in this thread.

pawcall · March 2017

I am having some really weird feelings around this lately. I feel weird - almost guilty - for being excited and believing that this baby will actually be ours to take home. I feel like I'm just being foolish. This isn't us, we don't have babies. We try and try and try, but we don't have babies.

I don't have a good reason to feel this way. As far as we know, our issues were with *getting* pregnant. I've only been pregnant once before, and I am looking at that baby as I type, so I have no reason to believe I can't *stay* pregnant. But still, I can't get past the IF mindset.

Anyone else?

liahay · March 2017

@pawcall yes, definitely. This was my first ever bfp and I have never suffered a loss -- so I have no reason to believe I won't stay pregnant. But I am living on a constant see-saw... excitement, confidence and planning on the highs.... and worry, anxiety, and feelings of impending doom on the lows. It's exhausting!!

I had an ultrasound this week at 5w2d... all we could see was the sac, but it did calm my nerves a bit. Hoping see a heartbeat in a week or so will help even more.

adirat · March 2017

@pawcall @liahay Yep, totally agree. Though I have never experienced a loss, my condition (which causes ovarian insufficiency) carries a higher risk of loss than the average woman so I have been constantly nervous. Even with progesterone, which stopped my spotting, I check for blood every time I pee. I had to stop wearing pink and red underwear because the crinone leakage looked pink/red even when it wasn't! Constant nerves -- because we had sort of given up hope in a way, and now it's real.

We had a 7-week ultrasound on Friday where we heard a strong heartbeat (131 bpm at 7 weeks) which made things feel so much more real and secure. There's a baby in there. It's doing OK. I don't think I'll feel totally calm until my CVS at 12 weeks to confirm viability and whether the baby inherited my condition (or worse), but I really do feel a lot better after hearing the heartbeat.. @liahay I hope you will too!

heatherdubrow · March 2017

@liahay @pawcall @adirat yes. Every time I go to the bathroom I check for blood. I'm completely convinced this isn't real. My ultrasound is Thursday so I'm really hoping we see something reassuring. Big hugs to everyone! IF is such a mind f*ck.

adirat · March 2017

@heatherdubrow With your previous IVF pregnancies, when did it start to feel "real"?

heatherdubrow · March 2017

@adirat I think when I could feel movement. Then it was this sudden whoosh of omg this is happening. That was around 17 weeks with my first.

adirat · March 2017

@heatherdubrow Thanks. That's really helpful to know.

heatherdubrow · March 2017

@adirat those baby movements are magical and I can't wait for you to experience it!

xomarisaxo · March 2017

Also doesn't feel real to me ! Got my BFP on Friday before I went for blood work which confirmed. 2nd round of IVF.

Had an early MC March 2015 (natural)
MC at 9 weeks Nov 16. ( IVF) both were abnormal embryos . Decided to do genetic testing on last 2 frozen embryos. Did a FET on March 6 and now pregnant !! Hoping it's real!! Glad I'm not the only one who is in denial!

kyersten · March 2017

Hi everyone!

I definitely feel the same as you all said here - I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I saw a couple of social media pregnancy announcements today and felt my heart drop automatically. I keep having to remind myself I'm pregnant! Hard to shake the feelings of infertility that we felt for so long.

(Edited to remove extra spaces)

HeavensAngel20x · March 2017

Had a miscarriage in December and a chemical pregnancy in February. I am pregnant 4 weeks now, found out at 3w 3D which is craZy! Was put on progesterone by fertility doctor, but couldn't do any fertility testing (other than US and blood work) because I was pregnant! Took a year to get pregnant with the losses in between. Had my son in 2015. Hope this one sticks!!

heatherdubrow · March 2017

@Einne.hh this is our weekly IF thread!

pawcall · March 2017

Based on today's appointment it sounds like my RE will keep seeing me weekly for ultrasounds for another 2-3 weeks before releasing me to my OB.

I can't get over how nerve wracking this whole process is!

Einneh · March 2017

@heatherdubrow thanks! my excuse for not seeing this thread.....pregnancy brain :X

YesOuiCan · March 2017

I'm so glad this thread is here! I was hesitant to even get involved with the birth month board because I didn't think many people here would have the shared experience of infertility, which I think has just become a permanent part of who I am now. It's really relieving to have people to talk about it with here.

@pawcall and @liahay This was my first BFP too, and I feel the same as you both... I have no reason to believe I can't stay pregnant, but I'm so so nervous about it.

kyersten · March 2017

@YesOuiCan I feel the same as you! My DH and I were just talking about how we think infertility will always be a part of who we are now, no matter what the future holds.

adirat · March 2017

@YesOuiCan Welcome! Yes, it's pretty surreal for me to finally be here so it's nice to connect with ladies who have been through similar experiences.

heatherdubrow · March 2017

@YesOuiCan welcome! I agree it's so nice to be able to relate!

jka427 · March 2017

So happy to find this thread! I tried for my first for four years (he's almost 3 now) with one 9 week loss. We couldn't get treatments because if insurance issues. This time we went straight to the RE after no success for 8 months and got pregnant on our second cycle with femara and trigger. I couldn't believe it and I still feel like it can't be "this easy" this time and that something bad will happen. I still remember that first ultrasound with my loss and I can't seem to stop worrying about a repeat of that.

my first scan is Friday at 6weeks 2 days. Hoping for a heartbeat. My husband refuses to go with me because he's so anxious about it. My mom is going to take me. No indication that anything is wrong...just my crazy brain.

How many ultrasounds are your REs doing before releasing you to the OB? I'm not sure what to expect.

Thanks!!

adirat · March 2017

@jka427 Welcome! I'm sorry this is causing so much anxiety for your husband. Here's hoping it's all good news and smooth sailing for you this pregnancy

I've had ultrasounds and bloodwork at 6 weeks, 7 weeks, and again this Friday at 8 weeks. I have a progesterone problem they're monitoring weekly to make sure my supplementation is enough. I think 8 weeks is often the time you "graduate" to an OB, but for me, I'm not sure whether this week (8 weeks) will be my last -- it probably depends on how my progesterone looks.

pawcall · March 2017

My RE will ultrasound weekly until release sometime around 8-10 weeks.

megmralph · March 2017

Those of you who used ART drugs, and got a BFP, how far along are/were you for your first ultrasound? I've never been pregnant before and understand a first us is typically 8-12 weeks... Wondering if that goes the same for ART moms?

I used Femara, Gonal-F and Ovidrel with timed intercourse and got pregnant on the second cycle. We aren't scheduled for our first us for another week, when I'll be 6w4d. I made my nurse schedule three HCG tests just to calm my nerves. They only wanted to do two when my second one showed levels doubling.

jka427 · March 2017

Thanks @adirat! That's helpful. I had a high risk pregnancy last time and since then I had gastric bypass so I want to get with my "real" OB as soon as possible. They usually see people for the first time at 7 weeks so it sounds like the timing will be good.

adirat · March 2017

@jka427 You could ask the RE if you should see your OB right away at 7 weeks. Since you had a high risk pregnancy before it might be best to see both. I don't have an OB yet (my gynecologist doesn't do OB) so I am sticking with the RE until they kick me out basically

heatherdubrow · March 2017

@adirat have you started looking for one yet? It can be hard to get in for first appointments so if you haven't yet I would try to make one for when your RE releases you. I ran into that problem last time

CubsFan7 · March 2017

@jka427 I only had one ultrasound at 5 weeks 6 days before my RE released me to my OB. My first OB appointment is April 5th. I'll be 8 weeks 6 days.

mbodem I had my first ultrasound at 5 weeks 6 days. They usually try to do the first ultrasound around 6 weeks to see a heartbeat.

JDW0325 · March 2017

Where my IVF ladies at???

So, I am still on the estrogen patches along with the PIO shots. I am supposed to change my patches every 2 days. I completely spaced and not only forgot to change my patches but removed the old and never put on the new! I took them off when I got home from work and was going to clean the sticky off my belly after taking a shower. Well, just went to sleep instead. I put them on first thing this morning when I remember. I'm sure one night isn't a HUGE deal but of course I am slightly nervous. I have a call in to my RE just so she can calm me down.

UGH! Pregnancy brain already! haha

xomarisaxo · March 2017

@JDW0325 IVF here! I'm not on the patches I'm on the pill, and I'm not sure the difference but I forgot to take them one night...my RE said it wasn't that big of a deal!

heatherdubrow · March 2017

@JDW0325 here! I'm on patches and progesterone injections. My RE said it's not a big deal just do it when you remember!

JDW0325 · March 2017

Thanks @xomarisaxo and @heatherdubrow!

The nurse just called back and said the same thing. I asked if it was necessary to get my blood drawn again to check levels (BC I AM A CRAZY PERSON) and she politely chuckled and said no, no harm was done AT ALL by not having a patch on for less than 12 hours.

At some point I will calm down and relax about all this, right????!!!!!

heatherdubrow · March 2017

@JDW0325 I totally get it! It's an expensive and physically and emotionally taxing process. This is my 3rd ivf baby and I remember that when I started feeling movement (around 17 weeks) I finally felt like I could calm down and breathe. That this is real and happening.

YesOuiCan · March 2017

@jka427 I'm glad you asked that question about when people are released to their OBs! I don't really understand this process/transition yet so it's helpful to see everyone's answers. As for me, I went ahead and made an 8 week appointment with my OB because they only had a couple appointments available at all (with the providers I want to see) in my first 12 weeks and I wanted to be sure I got in. My RE is also doing a scan at 6 weeks + 2 days, and I think my husband is nervous too!

Einneh · March 2017

Hi Ladies~
I just had my 8 weeks appointment this morning with my IVF doc and the baby is doing well and on track. My Dr has official released me to my OB and we have scheduled our 1st appointment on April 14th. (which is on my DS's 2nd birthday!)

I'm looking forward to having the monthly visit with the OB and I will be checking with my insurance company to see if they cover the Genetic blood test so we can find out the gender and make sure our baby is healthy soon.

@JDW0325 I am currently taking Progesterone cream (Crinone) once a day and I forgot a dose the other day, it has not effected the baby or my pregnancy so far. Don't worry too much if it's just one dose! our pregnancy brain kicks in sometimes lol

megmralph · March 2017

@cubsfan7 Good to know, then we're right on track! Thanks.

jka427 · March 2017

@YesOuiCan I did the same thing! I think you said you are D.C. Area? I am too and it seems like these providers are booked solid!!!

@adirat thank you!! I will see what they say tomorrow. Hoping everything goes ok!

YesOuiCan · March 2017

@jka427 Yes! DC area... It's funny, I've never had any problems getting appointments with my RE (though it's definitely always busy there), but it's like the Hunger Games trying to get in at the OB!

famiylgrl86 · March 2017

Glad I'm not the only one! I'll be 6 weeks on Monday & so far everything's been great. Betas have been on point 744, 1745, & 6319. No bleeding or heavy cramping, but for some reason half the time I'm still googling all the things that could go wrong.
As far as I know my only real problem was getting pregnant but it's like I've tried for so long to get to this point it's hard to accept or not worry about what's coming next. Hoping after my ultrasound in 2 1/2 weeks my worries will settle a little.

PAIF (Pregnant After Infertility) - Check In - 3/18

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