I was listening to Stevie Wonder's "Songs in the Key of Life" at work and "Isn't She Lovely" came on. That is such a sweet song and until recently I had no idea he wrote it when his daughter was born. Cue all the happy tears Love me some Stevie!
Mine completely falls under a Trigger Warning (TW) due to previous loss feels. So if you'd prefer to skip, here's your chance.
My birthday is March 18th. Last year I went out to celebrate my birthday at Olive Garden with my whole family and announced that we were expecting. I was just short of 6 weeks (but I'm always an early announcer for support reasons). The next day (the day after my birthday) I miscarried. Its been a rough year of ups and downs and the biggest up that has helped me "recover and move on" has been getting pregnant again. Anyways, I had been telling DH that I was craving Olive Garden and wanted to go on Saturday, just him and I, to celebrate my birthday. I was sitting in bed last night, and I don't even know what brought the memory back, but I immediately had an "Oh shit" feeling of "I can't go to Olive Garden for my birthday." I know its a bit of an overreaction, but I can't be in that place exactly a year later and not have the feeling of impending doom and gloom. Everything just started rushing back to me. I started hyperventilating and tears just came pouring out. Luckily, when I was able to tell DH what was going on, he was very understanding and just told me we could go wherever I wanted. I used to be a huge supporter of birthdays. My favorite "holiday" was my birthday. But now it just means something so different.
@KirstinH88 I'm so sorry. It's not an overreaction. You never know what's going to upset you and bring it all back. I understand about holidays since my angel baby was supposed to be my Christmas baby. I actually also understand about OG because people kindly brought my OG takeout after my surgery and I don't know if I will ever not associate their food with that memory. But I hate for you that your loss was near your birthday AND that you had just announced. That's so hard. You go wherever you want to go and do something distracting. I hope for you that your birthday is redeemed one day.
@HGRich Thank you. Its just tough for me around anniversary times (the due date and the loss date). I'm hoping that now that we will have a full year beyond us, that my heart can REALLY heal, but I'm not sure that is something that will ever happen.
@KirstinH88 I am so sorry that that memory was brought back for you and that your birthday is now also shared with that memory. I hope you are able to celebrate and enjoy your day on Saturday. Your precious rainbow baby will be here before you know it! Definitely not an overreaction.
@KirstinH88 I'm so sorry. It makes sense that it would bring such a strong reaction - a meal like that touches on all your senses and can be such a trigger for memories. Hugs dear.
Me: 31 DH: 36 Married 5 years DD born 8/30/13 #2 expected 4/25/17
@KirstinH88 of course. I haven't even reached my loss anniversary and I'm so dreading it. Hang in there.
Mine is actually TW related too. My work baby shower was Tuesday, and it was a lot of fun and wonderful. But my coworkers also know about my loss because they gave me bereavement leave (which was so sweet of them) and it's a small place. So I came into work this morning and found a gift from a coworker with a note about how she wanted to honor my angel baby because she knows I'm both celebrating Lucy and mourning still (we named our angel baby, but I prefer not to share it, and it might be hard for some to read anyway). The gift was a cedar carving that says "gather," and in her note she added that it refers to how we will be able to gather with our little ones again in Heaven (y'all know I work at a church, so I don't guess I need to explain anything here about what I believe), including her own baby she lost. It was a really thoughtful gesture and just meant so much to have someone remind me that they haven't forgotten my first baby, even as we were celebrating the rainbow baby. I cried for awhile and had to step away from my desk. But it was so, so sweet of her.
@KirstinH88 Hugs - I don't think it's an overreaction at all. I think it's perfectly normal and healthy to grieve what could've been while celebrating what lies ahead. I hope you get to celebrate your birthday in a way that is meaningful to you.
@HGrich Now you have me crying again. I know that its impossible to really know, but I just have a feeling that my angel baby was my girl. So I hold onto that thought of meeting her again someday, and while extremely sad, it gives me a little bit of peace. That was super sweet of your coworker.
ETA: Thank you everyone else for the love and support. I'm going to try to make it a good day/weekend without too much crying. HAHA!
Things are falling apart at work. I'm doing too much. My principal has not received 1 application for my leave position. My 2 year slipped on ice in the driveway today and smashed his head. I'm a stress ball. Ugh
@KirstinH88 & @cafedisco - thank you. He's kind of a rock. We have maternity pictures on Sunday. sigh
@cafedisco - I have been trying to tell myself that too but it is no longer working. They can't even pull it together while I'm there. Both of the paraprofessionals that work in the classroom are out on medical leave. They both extended their leave today for another week. So they come back April 3rd. I'm due April 10th. I had hoped they would be back earlier so I can have people there that know the kids and the routine. Now it's all up in the air. All of my students with IEPs are turning five and need re-evals done by their districts. Then there's graduation. It's just too much and I want to deal with as much as possible before I leave not during my leave. Ugh too much
You ladies that have experienced loss are so amazingly strong and wonderful. Your rainbow babies are so lucky that you're their moms. For real. I am in awe of how strong you guys are. And I know you'll see those sweet babies some day.
I'm also in the "no sub lined up" boat, and I go on leave in (at most) 2 weeks. I was really hoping to have a couple of days to help this person transition since they'll be closing out the year with my kiddos, but it looks like that's not going to happen. I teach AP and seniors, so there's a lot of major stuff that goes on for them at the end of the year, and I'm to the point where I'm just crossing my fingers that they get someone competent enough to handle all of that. We'll see. Like @cafedisco said, I'm trying not to stress about it too much because it's not my job to find someone.
@KirstinH88 I am so sorry to hear that I think you are absolutely justified. I found out I was pregnant after a round of IVF right near my birthday last year, and my miscarriage was confirmed on July 4th... double holiday whammy. My estimated due date would have also been my mom's birthday which we just passed in the first week of March. I mentioned that it would have been our due date to my husband, and it didn't seem to phase him the same way. He is able to just be grateful for this healthy baby, but it's differed (maybe hits us harder?) for us women I think. I totally agree with you that the only healing is time and having a successful pregnancy currently, but the sadness and fear are still in there somewhere mixed in with the joy of these coming babies. I hope you are able to have a very special birthday celebration and have something yummy you are craving even if it can't be Olive Garden.
I'm sorry to hear that your birthday is such a sad reminder of your loss @KirstinH88 I hope you have a wonderful meal that can contribute to your healing!
I'm so sorry to hear of all the loss feelings on this board. @KirstinH88 that is so tough. I'm so sorry for such a sad reminder on your birthday. And @HGRich that is such a beautiful gesture of a gift. I know it helps me personally to know our baby isn't forgotten and I think about him all the time.
I have cried pretty recently about our loss as well. March 7th was supposed to be our baby's due date. I had my midwife appointment and then drove around and cried for a few minutes. I decided to tell my mom about our baby. I have mostly kept him/her a secret because I just have wanted to. But, I think I am going to make that baby's life public soon and so I wanted to let my mom know ahead of time. I still haven't made it public, but it was nice to tell her. But I have been thinking about the baby a lot more since then, just thinking about holding him and what he would have been like. (I say "he" because my gut says it was a boy.) I have been teary several times since then and had myself a good shower cry as well. It's weird to be so sad about something while also being so excited to meet this baby.
The other thing making me cry today is DH's work. They moved the start time up to 7:00am, to supposedly be done earlier. Well, they have been ending at just about the same time anyway, so he is just working on hour longer than he was before. And being salaried they can just make him work whenever the hell they feel like it. He works late every day next week and he had to fight them because they wanted him to go 4 hours away for 3 days while I am 39 weeks pregnant. They know our situation and I can't believe they were wanting him to do that. His boss made it sound like this would all just be so nice and we go to church with him and stuff and I sort of just hate him and am so made he is taking advantage of DH and there is nothing we can do. I am 9 months pregnant, we are moving in a week and as of this week I can't barely walk. I am just in so much pain and I can't properly take care of DD let alone pack up all our stuff and do everything alone while DH works 9-10 hours a day.
Me: 28 year old SAHM/Birth Doula DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
Married: October 8, 2011
DD1: September 24, 2013 BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016 DD2: April 16, 2017 BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
@mrsstuessy Thank you. I actually am convinced ours was a boy too. I knew Lucy was a girl all along so when it was confirmed, it confirmed to me that our first was a boy and that my instinct is probably right. I know all women handle it differently and some share and some never do. But I like that I've made it public because it's actually opened up opportunities since then where four other women have come to me to talk about losses they've had since. It's been healing for both sides. I hope when you do, that it's healing and honoring to your little one.
Also I'm so afraid of that too with DH's job. I've told him his days of working 10 hours or more are numbered, and to get used to the idea of coming home at a reasonable time, but I'm afraid that just with his workload and perfectionism he won't be able to get home in the evening like I'd like after baby is born. I don't look forward to that problem when I'm prego with our second, or third, etc. And I definitely can't believe they wanted your husband to travel!!
What's made me cry seems so irrelevant in comparison to so much loss and heartache so many of you have gone/going through. You are all so strong and brave and I applaud you for acknowledging your feelings, sharing them with us, and facing them head on. Not one of you will ever overreact to these feelings, no matter what they make you say or do. You've been through something so difficult, no one can truly understand but those who have been in your same shoes. I pray that you someday will be able to experience these anniversaries with pride that you will forever be your little one's mommy, even though their time was short. Hugs to all of you!
Edited for rewording. I reread after I posted and how I wrote made it sound like you were only their mom while you carried your precious baby and that's absolutely not what I meant!
@mrsstuessy our EDD of our loss was March 7 also I have kept ours very private as well (expect for my parents, my brother and SIL, and this board), but I do believe there is something really important and special about acknowledging the babies we have lost for so many reasons like the ones @HGRich has mentioned.
I'm a blubbering mess today because, now that DH is back from his work trip, he's essentially quarantined me upstairs so that I can rest and get better and not get DS sick. I only have 3 more weekends max with him being my baby, and I've had so many mixed feelings about it (mostly just sad because he's so young and I don't know how he's going to adjust to having a sibling and I don't want it to change him because he's such a sweetheart). I know I need to get better but I'm just so upset and frustrated that I'm losing this time with him. Blah.
My bumps bacon grease burn. DD insisted she be helpful and put band aids on the open blisters.. I didn't think much of it, until I went to pull them off and realized she put the sticky part on other blisters... OUCH.
My one breakdown surrounding my birthday/loss happened yesterday at baseball. Of course. My husband is THE WORST gift giver. Basically, I never get any gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I have to either tell him what I want or buy it myself. So yesterday I asked "What are you getting me for my birthday?" His response, which was what he told me last year, was "I got you a baby." Cue immediate tears. He had no clue what he said or why I was crying. Sigh....
Adding another...I cried like 10 separate times in a matter of 30 minutes tonight.
Little man has been struggling with pretty bad gas. I've talked to his pediatrician about it twice and both times she said that babies digestive systems are immature and just need some time. The first time I asked if I should get Gripe Water or Mylicon and she said there was no need. From that appointment to the next one 4 days later, it seemed to get worse so I asked again. She said no and I said well is he in pain because he seems to be. She said that there is probably some cramping but it will go away. (She's not big on medicine/antibiotics unless really necessary - which I liked when I consulted with her prior to having him). 3 more days have passed and I HATE seeing him so uncomfortable so we got Gripe Water today after reading so many reviews and hearing how many moms swear by it. I gave it to him once he got fussy tonight and he immediately turned red, scowled his face, had bubbles coming out of his mouth (like he swallowed children's bubbles!), and couldn't breathe. He finally screamed and this cycle kept repeating. Then he vomited everywhere and every time he opened his mouth a bubble would form blocking his whole mouth, he'd turn red, stop breathing, etc. I'm hysterically crying and DH is holding him leaning forward and smacking his back. I was seriously ready to call 911. This was all in like 3 minutes. Once all those reactions were gone he just kept crying. And of course this is the first time he had actual tears coming out which just made me cry even more. I gave him a bottle and he calmed right down, but then he choked and vomited again so cue me crying again. I was GOING to go to bed, but now I'm terrified to not be watching him so who knows if I'll go to sleep. So little man has been sleeping peacefully, no grunting, squirming, screaming, crying since he had the Gripe Water, but I will NOT be giving it to him again.
@Nolegirl1185 I'm sorry you are dealing with tummy troubles. It's SO HARD to listen to them cry and not know how to help! I'm not exactly sure why your little guy reacted so poorly to the gripe water - what a giant bonus stressor. I've used it here and there for my crew & while it only seemed to help one of them for sure, it certainly didn't hurt the others. Is his umbilical cord still attached? If not warm baths are good, and doing the bicycle peddling exercises with his legs. Maybe try those Windi straw things we talked about on FB? Anyways, feel free to ignore everything I suggested, but please know I'm thinking of you. Hang in there – you're doing a great job!
@Dannylion24 Thank you! I'm better this morning, he does not seem to have had any issues since the giving it to him. His umbilical cord is not attached anymore, but he has a small scab still. I've done the bicycle legs a couple times and I'm going to google monster infant massage today haha. Yes to the Windi things, I forgot about those. I'll have to pick some up. I appreciate all advice and suggestions so no worries about that!
@Nolegirl1185 The sleep paranoia is real! I would listen to my daughter breath at night I used to get so worried. There is a product called Colic Calm that looks scary, its black, but, all natural and worked wonders for us when we thought she was have tummy trouble. Some of the other OTC meds have sugar/flavoring in them to make it more appealing to infants. Personally, I think that makes things worse for some nb. To this day, my kid has the worst poops after eating fruit cups that have extra syrup in them.
@jennielynn+ Thanks! I will have to look into Colic Calm. Right now I'm a bit scared to try anything else. I think I want to wait until he's closer to 7 weeks old. He is 2 weeks old which is the requirement for the Gripe Water, but perhaps being preemie has something to do with it? So 7 weeks would put him at 2 weeks past his EDD. IDK if it's the case, but I'm going with it!
@ekzerr I'm sorry about your fur baby. We lost our cat last summer and it's so hard. They're family.
My idiot self apparently got confused. Last Friday my OB called to reschedule my appointment from Monday to Tuesday because she needed to attend a funeral on Monday. At the end of the call she said that she would let me know if that changed because she needed to confirm that the funeral actually was on Monday. So, I assumed that meant we were good for Tuesday and that she would call me back if it needed to change again. Well, she meant that we would leave it for Monday and she would call me back if we officially needed to switch to Tuesday (oops). So, I wasn't sure what to do yesterday because I didn't get a call back either way, so I figured I would call the office before my appointment yesterday to see if they were there. It went straight to her answering service/recording for how to contact the on call doctor if you thought you were in labor, so I assumed that meant they were out for Monday and that I was good to go on Tuesday. Then I get a call about an hour later about how I missed my appointment, because of earlier confusion between me and my OB about which one was actually set because the funeral wound up being scheduled for Tuesday. No big deal; she wasn't upset because when I explained to her what I thought the deal was she realized the miscommunication and all that jazz. So, they go to reschedule me, but the only time they can get me in this week is Thursday morning, which means I need to miss work AGAIN (only one class period, but still), so I call my department chair to find coverage and get that all set up and good to go.
Then I'm just sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store and LOST IT crying because I was so frustrated with myself for getting the appointment confused and having to miss more work and inconvenience my department and just got completely overwhelmed with the 30,000 things that it feels like I need to get done in the next 2 weeks or less. I called DH, and he laughs at me and tells me that I'm being ridiculous because all I need to do is pick up DS and eat dinner and go to bed (which I appreciate...I needed the change in perspective!). So I get myself together, go get DS and go home, then DS tosses his stomach completely (which was mostly TMI: curdled milk) all over his dinner and our rug, so then I'm crying because DS is crying and I'm trying to get our rug clean while DH is giving him a bath, and I eventually give up and go upstairs to snuggle with DS and make sure that he's feeling okay. And then I'm crying because he's fine and is asking if he can eat. DH steam cleaned the rug but it still stinks, so this morning I was crying because I really liked that rug and we're probably going to have to throw it out since our dog will chew it to pieces if it smells weird.
AND I still have this sinus/ear/chest infection of doom so my constant coughing is physically painful and I am just 3,000% over work at this point in time. I'm going to work really hard over the next two days to get my final sub plans together and then cross my fingers that my OB wants me on bed rest for no particular reason so I can be done, haha. Oy. For as easy as the first 8 months of this pregnancy was, this last month is SAVAGE.
Ekzerr
member
Re: Why my pregnant self is crying 3/16
My birthday is March 18th. Last year I went out to celebrate my birthday at Olive Garden with my whole family and announced that we were expecting. I was just short of 6 weeks (but I'm always an early announcer for support reasons). The next day (the day after my birthday) I miscarried. Its been a rough year of ups and downs and the biggest up that has helped me "recover and move on" has been getting pregnant again.
Anyways, I had been telling DH that I was craving Olive Garden and wanted to go on Saturday, just him and I, to celebrate my birthday. I was sitting in bed last night, and I don't even know what brought the memory back, but I immediately had an "Oh shit" feeling of "I can't go to Olive Garden for my birthday." I know its a bit of an overreaction, but I can't be in that place exactly a year later and not have the feeling of impending doom and gloom. Everything just started rushing back to me. I started hyperventilating and tears just came pouring out. Luckily, when I was able to tell DH what was going on, he was very understanding and just told me we could go wherever I wanted. I used to be a huge supporter of birthdays. My favorite "holiday" was my birthday. But now it just means something so different.
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
DH: 36
Married 5 years
DD born 8/30/13
#2 expected 4/25/17
Mine is actually TW related too. My work baby shower was Tuesday, and it was a lot of fun and wonderful. But my coworkers also know about my loss because they gave me bereavement leave (which was so sweet of them) and it's a small place. So I came into work this morning and found a gift from a coworker with a note about how she wanted to honor my angel baby because she knows I'm both celebrating Lucy and mourning still (we named our angel baby, but I prefer not to share it, and it might be hard for some to read anyway). The gift was a cedar carving that says "gather," and in her note she added that it refers to how we will be able to gather with our little ones again in Heaven (y'all know I work at a church, so I don't guess I need to explain anything here about what I believe), including her own baby she lost. It was a really thoughtful gesture and just meant so much to have someone remind me that they haven't forgotten my first baby, even as we were celebrating the rainbow baby. I cried for awhile and had to step away from my desk. But it was so, so sweet of her.
ETA: Thank you everyone else for the love and support. I'm going to try to make it a good day/weekend without too much crying. HAHA!
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
I don't have a long term sub lined up either....It's incredibly stressful but I keep telling myself it's not really my job.
DH: 36
Married 5 years
DD born 8/30/13
#2 expected 4/25/17
@cafedisco - I have been trying to tell myself that too but it is no longer working. They can't even pull it together while I'm there. Both of the paraprofessionals that work in the classroom are out on medical leave. They both extended their leave today for another week. So they come back April 3rd. I'm due April 10th. I had hoped they would be back earlier so I can have people there that know the kids and the routine. Now it's all up in the air. All of my students with IEPs are turning five and need re-evals done by their districts. Then there's graduation. It's just too much and I want to deal with as much as possible before I leave not during my leave. Ugh too much
I have cried pretty recently about our loss as well. March 7th was supposed to be our baby's due date. I had my midwife appointment and then drove around and cried for a few minutes. I decided to tell my mom about our baby. I have mostly kept him/her a secret because I just have wanted to. But, I think I am going to make that baby's life public soon and so I wanted to let my mom know ahead of time. I still haven't made it public, but it was nice to tell her. But I have been thinking about the baby a lot more since then, just thinking about holding him and what he would have been like. (I say "he" because my gut says it was a boy.) I have been teary several times since then and had myself a good shower cry as well. It's weird to be so sad about something while also being so excited to meet this baby.
The other thing making me cry today is DH's work. They moved the start time up to 7:00am, to supposedly be done earlier. Well, they have been ending at just about the same time anyway, so he is just working on hour longer than he was before. And being salaried they can just make him work whenever the hell they feel like it. He works late every day next week and he had to fight them because they wanted him to go 4 hours away for 3 days while I am 39 weeks pregnant. They know our situation and I can't believe they were wanting him to do that. His boss made it sound like this would all just be so nice and we go to church with him and stuff and I sort of just hate him and am so made he is taking advantage of DH and there is nothing we can do. I am 9 months pregnant, we are moving in a week and as of this week I can't barely walk. I am just in so much pain and I can't properly take care of DD let alone pack up all our stuff and do everything alone while DH works 9-10 hours a day.
DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016
DD2: April 16, 2017
BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
Also I'm so afraid of that too with DH's job. I've told him his days of working 10 hours or more are numbered, and to get used to the idea of coming home at a reasonable time, but I'm afraid that just with his workload and perfectionism he won't be able to get home in the evening like I'd like after baby is born. I don't look forward to that problem when I'm prego with our second, or third, etc. And I definitely can't believe they wanted your husband to travel!!
Edited for rewording. I reread after I posted and how I wrote made it sound like you were only their mom while you carried your precious baby and that's absolutely not what I meant!
Baby Boy due 04/07/17
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
Little man has been struggling with pretty bad gas. I've talked to his pediatrician about it twice and both times she said that babies digestive systems are immature and just need some time. The first time I asked if I should get Gripe Water or Mylicon and she said there was no need. From that appointment to the next one 4 days later, it seemed to get worse so I asked again. She said no and I said well is he in pain because he seems to be. She said that there is probably some cramping but it will go away. (She's not big on medicine/antibiotics unless really necessary - which I liked when I consulted with her prior to having him). 3 more days have passed and I HATE seeing him so uncomfortable so we got Gripe Water today after reading so many reviews and hearing how many moms swear by it. I gave it to him once he got fussy tonight and he immediately turned red, scowled his face, had bubbles coming out of his mouth (like he swallowed children's bubbles!), and couldn't breathe. He finally screamed and this cycle kept repeating. Then he vomited everywhere and every time he opened his mouth a bubble would form blocking his whole mouth, he'd turn red, stop breathing, etc. I'm hysterically crying and DH is holding him leaning forward and smacking his back. I was seriously ready to call 911. This was all in like 3 minutes. Once all those reactions were gone he just kept crying. And of course this is the first time he had actual tears coming out which just made me cry even more. I gave him a bottle and he calmed right down, but then he choked and vomited again so cue me crying again. I was GOING to go to bed, but now I'm terrified to not be watching him so who knows if I'll go to sleep. So little man has been sleeping peacefully, no grunting, squirming, screaming, crying since he had the Gripe Water, but I will NOT be giving it to him again.
My idiot self apparently got confused. Last Friday my OB called to reschedule my appointment from Monday to Tuesday because she needed to attend a funeral on Monday. At the end of the call she said that she would let me know if that changed because she needed to confirm that the funeral actually was on Monday. So, I assumed that meant we were good for Tuesday and that she would call me back if it needed to change again. Well, she meant that we would leave it for Monday and she would call me back if we officially needed to switch to Tuesday (oops). So, I wasn't sure what to do yesterday because I didn't get a call back either way, so I figured I would call the office before my appointment yesterday to see if they were there. It went straight to her answering service/recording for how to contact the on call doctor if you thought you were in labor, so I assumed that meant they were out for Monday and that I was good to go on Tuesday. Then I get a call about an hour later about how I missed my appointment, because of earlier confusion between me and my OB about which one was actually set because the funeral wound up being scheduled for Tuesday. No big deal; she wasn't upset because when I explained to her what I thought the deal was she realized the miscommunication and all that jazz. So, they go to reschedule me, but the only time they can get me in this week is Thursday morning, which means I need to miss work AGAIN (only one class period, but still), so I call my department chair to find coverage and get that all set up and good to go.
Then I'm just sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store and LOST IT crying because I was so frustrated with myself for getting the appointment confused and having to miss more work and inconvenience my department and just got completely overwhelmed with the 30,000 things that it feels like I need to get done in the next 2 weeks or less. I called DH, and he laughs at me and tells me that I'm being ridiculous because all I need to do is pick up DS and eat dinner and go to bed (which I appreciate...I needed the change in perspective!). So I get myself together, go get DS and go home, then DS tosses his stomach completely (which was mostly TMI: curdled milk) all over his dinner and our rug, so then I'm crying because DS is crying and I'm trying to get our rug clean while DH is giving him a bath, and I eventually give up and go upstairs to snuggle with DS and make sure that he's feeling okay. And then I'm crying because he's fine and is asking if he can eat. DH steam cleaned the rug but it still stinks, so this morning I was crying because I really liked that rug and we're probably going to have to throw it out since our dog will chew it to pieces if it smells weird.
AND I still have this sinus/ear/chest infection of doom so my constant coughing is physically painful and I am just 3,000% over work at this point in time. I'm going to work really hard over the next two days to get my final sub plans together and then cross my fingers that my OB wants me on bed rest for no particular reason so I can be done, haha. Oy. For as easy as the first 8 months of this pregnancy was, this last month is SAVAGE.