Ok.... I will preface this with that I am forever grateful that a mealtrain was set up for me to help with dinners over the first month. HOWEVER, when the in laws offer and it is so tempting to not have to cook, you do. But then the drop off turns into a full out visit.. you just want to pull your hair out.
Seriously can't believe how terrible I sound, but I just want to eat dinner before we have to put our toddler to bed and I need to nurse. Not to mention the comments from the living room about what my son should be doing at the dinner table. Ughh
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 1 Samuel 1:27 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lol I'll jump on the b!tching about people doing nice things train. We also have people bringing us meals every day or every other day until Thursday. It's great. But here's the thing: In seven meals we've gotten three lasagna casseroles, two shepherds pies, a ham quiche, a ham, and innumerable cookies. Would it hurt to coordinate efforts a bit??? Lol, I really am grateful, I swear....
Ooh thank God I'm not the only one!!! My biggest issue has been that no one gave us the schedule of what days people were bringing food. Then, I would get a text saying "I'm bringing food at this time today". Ugh!! Don't you people realize we have a new baby, a toddler and are trying to get naps, spend time as a family, etc. A little pre warning and possibly asking if a time would work, would have been great!
MIL rant: she's not even here and she's pissing me off. She always has to make every event about her. She complained to my mom over the phone that she was the last person to know about the baby being here. Which is a bald faced lie. I watched my husband text her not too long after Avery was born. Since we were team green, her response was: "what did I have?" Just ugh! I'm sorry but I don't recall her being the one who pushed this baby out of her vag. She's incredibly jealous that my parents are out here and she's not, so she's playing the woe is me card. I don't know where she gets off lying about being the last to know about being notified, as if she couldn't be called out on it. My mom knows how my MIL is, so to make her feel good, my mom informed her that the video that my husband made using his Go Pro of my oldest son holding the baby was something that only my MIL has seen and not anyone else. My husband made a quick 30 second video using the Go Pro app on his phone and then he sent it to his mom. I haven't even seen the video, which I obviously don't need to since I was there, but when my mom told her this, my MIL's response was, "well at least I have something." Yes, because this big life event is all about you.
I was just complaining about this thing you shouldnt complain about too!! Haha. I was telling DH how I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.... but... Haha!Our church said they were going to bring meals when baby arrived! We have a pretty small church, but I still had this expectation that meant we'd have help with food for a couple weeks-but we only got 2meals the first week. Hmm.... oh well. can't complain IRL! Any bit helps! But I just had different expectations.
My bitch is about my fiance's grandpa (Jack) this time. We went over to his grandparent's house with our 10 day old baby for dinner last night. They have two dogs, one of which is very well behaved (Scout) and the other is very poorly trained (Zuzie). Zuzie kept trying to get at the baby. Despite being told no many times, she was jumping on me, jumping on the bed, climbing on furniture, and just being a nuisance trying to get at the baby. His grandparents find this horrible behavior endearing for god knows what reason.
I had to set my son in his car seat during dinner, and because they promised me they would keep the dogs in the kitchen I set the seat on the floor by me. Well of course Zuzie was still running amok, and she tried to jump into the car seat with my baby. Not gonna lie, I kicked her pretty hard at that point and told her to git. She still kept trying to get to him, so finally my future mother in law demanded that the dog be put back in the kitchen. Jack got up and grabbed the dog, and kept holding her over my son so she could look at him. My baby was crying hysterically because he was scared, so we all gave Jack the death stare and I threw a blanket over my son's face.
When we were getting ready to leave and people were saying gooodbye to the baby, Jack once again felt that it was appropriate to hold this germy little stink rat over my baby so she could see him. And once again, my son started screaming because he was scared. My fiance's grandma for some reason thought it was "so adorable how his face got all red" and was just tickled to death to see my baby so upset. I promptly grabbed the baby and took him downstairs so we could hide and grab the rest of our stuff. I didn't let anyone near him for the last 20 minutes we were there. I think I would have snapped and hurt someone.
But seriously, who does this?! He was 10 days old. He has very little immune system, and this dog is majorly nasty and poorly groomed. If he weren't 89 years old, I'd have kicked his ass for doing that.
I'm starting to get majorly annoyed with DH's family. I asked both sides of the family to get the TDAP shot months ago and my family promptly went out and got it but MIL thinks it is stupid and unnecessary so she doesn't think that BIL needs to get it. BIL is 26 years old by the way but MIL still treats him like he's a 5yo child. She treated DH the same way the whole time we dated and tried to continue this even after we got married until I put the kabosh on it (mostly). Anyways, this baby is coming tomorrow and we still can't get a straight answer out of BIL about whether he has gotten the shot or not! If he thinks he is going to hold the baby without getting the shot we told him to get months ago he is so wrong!!! I don't give a damn if MIL thinks it is stupid or not.
She also thinks that I need to bring my baby to a bridal shower that we are going to on April 1st even though she will only be 1.5 weeks old. I told her there is no way I am bringing her because 1- I don't want to steal the spotlight from the bride and 2- I don't want all those germy people touching her and asking to hold her when she's so new! But she's all "it's good for them". Whatever lady, not your baby.
I've never really had problems with her before but this week she is driving me Fing crazy!!!
Edited because I went on a rant and forgot my point...
Mine is my brother ... he means well but he calls/texts everyday to see how I am/how his nephew is. Your nephew isn't due for another week so I suppose he's good and well ... I know he's just worried because of all my health issues with this pregnancy but seriously I don't know anything about when this baby is coming he'll come when he comes .... we sure won't forget to tell you!
@ShannonJ96 I can't stand it when people don't properly train their dogs! And what your fiancé's grandpa was doing was just straight up weird. Shitty dog behavior is not cute and it's certainly not endearing to make a baby scared and cry. I don't think I'd be bringing them by their house again anytime soon.
@SienaC our MILs would be good friends. Sorry you're still dealing with TDAP drama. I am too.
She was supposed to bring my husband to get it when the babies were 2 weeks old and she refused, so someone else took him.
Boys will be 6 weeks tomorrow and my MIL still hasn't gotten it. She is coming by on Thursday under the guise of having my husband fix her computer. I'm considering taking them to my mom's so they aren't even here when she comes.
I. Am. Not. Playing.
My husband is getting pissy with me because she has convinced him that I'm trying to withhold the babies from her. Damn right, and when you get the TDAP you can come by.
@SienaC can your BIL check his immunization records? If he had the TDAP in the last 10 years he is good...OB didn't make DH get the shot since he had it a few years ago. My parents and in laws got it because they are older and would probably benefit from a booster.
Anyone else feel lime family and relatives don't know how to care for your baby as well as you do? Ex: baby was screaming his hunger cry and I was in the shower, my mom decided he neededto be sung to, to be soothed. I fly out of the shower and fix the poor kid, who is still screaming, a bottle.
@disneybaby84 Noone can care for your baby like you and daddy can!! I mean grandma is an excellent resource but when it boils down to it, you understand the cries you know their wants and needs like no other. You should definitely still get the help from friends though haha
It's a vaccination (one shot) that includes tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis. They give it out as a combo shot--but for babies the main concern is the pertussis part ((Whooping Cough))
My SIL is my bitchfest! She has been coming up to see MIL in the hospital about 2 hours from us, and coming home with FIL in the evenings. This started when LO was 8 days old, and she has been around here and there for the past week and a half. Up until that point, DH and I had not heard from her at all after having the baby. Not so much as a one word congratulations text. Then, she shows up and tries to act like aunt of the year. And my in-laws rave about how great she is with Cate, and how she is the best aunt. Sorry, we never hear from her. She lives 4 hours away, which is not that far when you live as remote as we do, and doesn't come for anything that is important to us concerning Cate (Asher is too new to have it come up yet. Lol) like birthdays and baptism, but comes for long weekends all the time for no specific reason. Last summer she expected us to have a separate birthday party 2 weekends later for DD, just so she could be there. And that was with me pregnant, and having had 2 crazy weekends in a row between her real party and my dad's wedding, so I flat out refused. She has reamed DH out via text because she thinks we are terrible and don't spend enough time with his parents, and his mother was lying to her and saying they didn't see her on Halloween and holidays like that, which was just plain untrue. She has gotten mad the past 3 mothers days because we go out of town, because, frankly, I lost my mom three years ago, and I don't really want to spend mothers day with MIL, because it is a hard holiday for me anyway, and on top of that, MIL and I don't get along that well. We make plans to take her to dinner the weekend before or after, and get her a nice gift, I just like to get away for that day with my husband and kids. Ugh! She irritates me, and every time I started to try to let it go, and move on, she does something else to stir it up again.
Probably true @kjd291 or packaged differently, like maybe just a pertussis vaccine. After all, we don't get vaccinated for fifths disease in my region like we get checked for rubella antibodies, but I know it is a bigger deal in Canada.
I'm from Canada and Tdap is not something we hear about at least where I'm from. There's no routine or recommended vaccines for mom/family/baby until LO's first set of vaccines.
Probably true @kjd291 or packaged differently, like maybe just a pertussis vaccine. After all, we don't get vaccinated for fifths disease in my region like we get checked for rubella antibodies, but I know it is a bigger deal in Canada.
we don't get vaccinated for fifths either here. In actually got it from my son the year. it preaent3d it's self as sores all in my mouth. Truly horrible, it ran it's course and was gone in a out a week. Rubella is part of our early pregnancy work up
It's part of our boosters here too-and every 10years (at least 10was the tetanus spacing for me growing up) throughout life after. But they started recommending it for pregnant women to get every pregnancy because proven protection it passes to baby in the womb, and there's been a lot of infant death here from whooping cough.
Idk if LO is going through a growth spurt or what but she does NOT want to be put down! She's gassy too so I'm sure that's part of it but mama really needs a couple of hours of quality sleep at night and I'd love to be able to do something with two hands!
Idk if LO is going through a growth spurt or what but she does NOT want to be put down! She's gassy too so I'm sure that's part of it but mama really needs a couple of hours of quality sleep at night and I'd love to be able to do something with two hands!
I'll jump aboard the MIL rant. She said she'd bake 2 weeks of food. She's dropped off 3 meals, well one was a giant pot of soup so maybe she thinks that counts as many meals? Who knows. Oh, and a gift certificate to a restaurant we never eat at?? Being rotten I wanted to hand it back to her & ask her for a gift card to stop & shop instead. Thank goodness my parents have going above & beyond with meals & we know never to rely on my MIL for anything.
My MIL showed up unannounced. She was supposed to come by at 6pm to get her computer fixed, but my husband told her that she wasn't welcome unless she got a TDAP. She said ok she wouldn't come... and came by at 4pm instead. I'm currently cuddling one of the twins shirtless and the other twin is sleeping and I'm not sure what to do to keep her away from them. FML.
@Gators&BoSox We leave our doors unlocked during the daytime because we have frequent (invited) guests.
She went to his office, he fixed her computer and helped with some paperwork (her English isn't great) and on her way out she started walking towards the babies and was smiling. I told her, "I'm sorry, you can't come over here until you get that shot." Her faced turned into a scowl and she stomped her way to the front door and slammed the door on her way out.
Apparently he gave her the phone number of my OB (she is also Polish) hoping that the OB would set her straight in Polish, since nothing we say is getting through.
This is creating some tension betweeen me and my husband. It's clear that (probably because of his upbringing) he doesn't really believe that the TDAP is necessary and feels like I'm using this as a way to punish his mother... OK.
I might relent if I thought that she had a recent dose, but I know she hasn't. This has also become the pissing match that I need to win, so I'm not letting go. I'm still shaking from the adrenaline when I told her she couldn't come see the babies.
Anyone else EXTREMELY frustrated with their DH (dear, hah!) or SO?
Mine has been sick with the "man flu" (aka the common cold to a woman) the past couple weeks. He has developed a cough but no fever so I asked the pedi what she recommended. She sent home some face masks and said use these and lots of hand sanitizer. Well he definitely is not wearing a mask when he holds her (he "can't see"?!) and I have no idea about the hand sanitizer but we have bottles everywhere.
He has not been a good help to me at all, just lays around napping or watching TV and grumbles when I ask him to grab something for me or do something that needs to be done. He gets a full nights rest in his own room since I'm up every 2-3 hours to BF. We are not doing bottles at all at this point so as not to confuse her.
H came home from work early today because he wasn't feeling well and I blew up at him. We're talking hormonal, sleep-deprived meltdown complete with tears. I'm scared I'll get sick with whatever he has or, even worse, that baby will. I called the doc and they told me to send him to urgent care. The doc there prescribed a cough suppressant and antibiotics. Hopefully they will get him feeling better very soon.
He says I'm not sympathetic to him at all and, to be honest, I'm not. When I'm sick, I take cold meds, stay active/hydrated and buck up. Not to mention he has not once asked how I'm recovering from delivery or if I'm doing okay physically and/or mentally. It goes both ways, am I right?
Sorry for the novel, I just really needed to vent. I'm trying to stay strong for baby Lexi. My mom is coming back tomorrow evening and staying to help me until next Thursday so I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and this too shall pass. Hugs to any of you moms out there who are also struggling, not matter how big or small the struggle is. I'm so thankful for our little community!
@CoconutKisses21 you absolutely have a reason to be upset! You just carried and birthed your child for 9 months! There's something to be said for that ... and he should absolutely be asking how you are doing. Hopefully he starts to feel better and will begin to appreciate all you've done! Hang in there!
@CoconutKisses21 Sounds like you have good reasons to be mad at your husband. Try to level with him, maybe once he's feeling better and has a clearer head?
@longliveregina I didn't even know the vaccine schedule... I knew they needed 2 month vaccinations and didn't realize that TDAP was one of them. I'm going to call their pedi to make sure they can get their 2 month vaccinations at their next apt, they scheduled that appointment 4 days shy of 2 months.
I honestly have no idea what to do. If they are vaccinated, the point is moot, but how can I ever trust that they will follow the rules that we set down as parents? If the twins are ever in their care will they give them medicine (if appropriate)? If (god forbid) one of the babies has a food allergy, will they avoid feeding that food, or will they give it to them? I may have my husband call and tell them that the babies have been vaccinated, so she doesn't need the shot, but any visit will be strictly monitored. I know for damn sure I will not leave the kids alone with his mother until she can prove that she's not going to undermine us at every opportunity. He will also make it clear that surprise visits/visits we said no to will not happen again.
I'm honestly open to suggestions. Any MIL pissing match stories that had a positive ending? Any tips?
@direwolfmini no stories but your MIL seems crazy and it doesn't seem like your husband is backing you up much. I can't believe she is choosing to not get a shot over seeing her grand babies. That to me is insane. I would still check with your doctor too though because I believe for infants the tdap is a series shot? Like they get it at 2, 4, and 6 months? It used to be like that anyways - my first was 7 years ago maybe it's changed! But regardless one shot may not actually protect them and they may need all of them before she is considered safe. Just a heads up!
Last night DH and I had a fight that ended with him saying he didn't want to talk to me anymore so I went to bed, and then he rushed out to work this morning when I was in the shower without saying a word to me. The fight was over our daycare arrangement which (I thought) we talked about/agreed upon back in Nov. when we selected LOs daycare. I planned to work every single weekend after my leave so I could take 2 days off during the week and we'd only need to pay for 3 days of daycare then since I could watch him two days & DH could watch him over the weekend. The fight actually started yesterday morning when he brought up how unfair it is that his weekends will be all about the baby & how he's going to go insane if he doesn't get any breaks. So I talked with my boss yesterday & will now instead work every other weekend and we'll either enroll LO for 4 days instead of 3 or I'll use PTO and/or have my parents watch him one day a week if needed. I thought that would be a compromise (even though I think it's stupid to pay a few extra hundred dollars a month more for a 4th day when we don't actually need to) but he's still pissed and he said he thinks I think he'll be a shitty dad for not wanting to watch him -he says he DOES want to watch him (but apparently just not on weekends so he can golf or hang out with friends instead?) and all he's upset over is that I have a crappy schedule. I sent him a long text this morning apologizing & trying to be super nice and reasonable, but ugh I'm really upset and idk if I'm more upset that he brought this all up now instead of in November or because he's seeming selfish to me or that he's refusing to talk to me now when we're so close to meeting our son. It should be a happy time & instead I'm crying & my emotions are all over the place...just needed to vent I guess since I can't actually vent to anyone in person.
I keep getting denial letters from my short term disability company saying that I don't qualify for STD because they haven't received paperwork from my doctor's office. That paperwork was faxed to them on 2/28! When I called them on Monday, they said they never received the fax (BS!), so I scanned it and emailed it to them. I got another letter yesterday saying they still haven't received the paperwork.
WTF do I have to do for you people to get this paperwork? Walk it over and hand it to you in person? Looks like another phone call this morning.
Re: Weekly Bitch Fest (3/20)
Seriously can't believe how terrible I sound, but I just want to eat dinner before we have to put our toddler to bed and I need to nurse. Not to mention the comments from the living room about what my son should be doing at the dinner table. Ughh
1 Samuel 1:27
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In seven meals we've gotten three lasagna casseroles, two shepherds pies, a ham quiche, a ham, and innumerable cookies. Would it hurt to coordinate efforts a bit??? Lol, I really am grateful, I swear....
I had to set my son in his car seat during dinner, and because they promised me they would keep the dogs in the kitchen I set the seat on the floor by me. Well of course Zuzie was still running amok, and she tried to jump into the car seat with my baby. Not gonna lie, I kicked her pretty hard at that point and told her to git. She still kept trying to get to him, so finally my future mother in law demanded that the dog be put back in the kitchen. Jack got up and grabbed the dog, and kept holding her over my son so she could look at him. My baby was crying hysterically because he was scared, so we all gave Jack the death stare and I threw a blanket over my son's face.
When we were getting ready to leave and people were saying gooodbye to the baby, Jack once again felt that it was appropriate to hold this germy little stink rat over my baby so she could see him. And once again, my son started screaming because he was scared. My fiance's grandma for some reason thought it was "so adorable how his face got all red" and was just tickled to death to see my baby so upset. I promptly grabbed the baby and took him downstairs so we could hide and grab the rest of our stuff. I didn't let anyone near him for the last 20 minutes we were there. I think I would have snapped and hurt someone.
But seriously, who does this?! He was 10 days old. He has very little immune system, and this dog is majorly nasty and poorly groomed. If he weren't 89 years old, I'd have kicked his ass for doing that.
She also thinks that I need to bring my baby to a bridal shower that we are going to on April 1st even though she will only be 1.5 weeks old. I told her there is no way I am bringing her because 1- I don't want to steal the spotlight from the bride and 2- I don't want all those germy people touching her and asking to hold her when she's so new! But she's all "it's good for them". Whatever lady, not your baby.
I've never really had problems with her before but this week she is driving me Fing crazy!!!
Edited because I went on a rant and forgot my point...
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
She was supposed to bring my husband to get it when the babies were 2 weeks old and she refused, so someone else took him.
Boys will be 6 weeks tomorrow and my MIL still hasn't gotten it. She is coming by on Thursday under the guise of having my husband fix her computer. I'm considering taking them to my mom's so they aren't even here when she comes.
I. Am. Not. Playing.
My husband is getting pissy with me because she has convinced him that I'm trying to withhold the babies from her. Damn right, and when you get the TDAP you can come by.
I hope your MIL gets her act together!!
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
She went to his office, he fixed her computer and helped with some paperwork (her English isn't great) and on her way out she started walking towards the babies and was smiling. I told her, "I'm sorry, you can't come over here until you get that shot." Her faced turned into a scowl and she stomped her way to the front door and slammed the door on her way out.
Apparently he gave her the phone number of my OB (she is also Polish) hoping that the OB would set her straight in Polish, since nothing we say is getting through.
This is creating some tension betweeen me and my husband. It's clear that (probably because of his upbringing) he doesn't really believe that the TDAP is necessary and feels like I'm using this as a way to punish his mother... OK.
I might relent if I thought that she had a recent dose, but I know she hasn't. This has also become the pissing match that I need to win, so I'm not letting go. I'm still shaking from the adrenaline when I told her she couldn't come see the babies.
Mine has been sick with the "man flu" (aka the common cold to a woman) the past couple weeks. He has developed a cough but no fever so I asked the pedi what she recommended. She sent home some face masks and said use these and lots of hand sanitizer. Well he definitely is not wearing a mask when he holds her (he "can't see"?!) and I have no idea about the hand sanitizer but we have bottles everywhere.
He has not been a good help to me at all, just lays around napping or watching TV and grumbles when I ask him to grab something for me or do something that needs to be done. He gets a full nights rest in his own room since I'm up every 2-3 hours to BF. We are not doing bottles at all at this point so as not to confuse her.
H came home from work early today because he wasn't feeling well and I blew up at him. We're talking hormonal, sleep-deprived meltdown complete with tears. I'm scared I'll get sick with whatever he has or, even worse, that baby will. I called the doc and they told me to send him to urgent care. The doc there prescribed a cough suppressant and antibiotics. Hopefully they will get him feeling better very soon.
He says I'm not sympathetic to him at all and, to be honest, I'm not. When I'm sick, I take cold meds, stay active/hydrated and buck up. Not to mention he has not once asked how I'm recovering from delivery or if I'm doing okay physically and/or mentally. It goes both ways, am I right?
Sorry for the novel, I just really needed to vent. I'm trying to stay strong for baby Lexi. My mom is coming back tomorrow evening and staying to help me until next Thursday so I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and this too shall pass. Hugs to any of you moms out there who are also struggling, not matter how big or small the struggle is. I'm so thankful for our little community!
Out of curiosity, will you relent after they get their first dtap?
@direwolfmini nice job sticking up for your babies!
@longliveregina I didn't even know the vaccine schedule... I knew they needed 2 month vaccinations and didn't realize that TDAP was one of them. I'm going to call their pedi to make sure they can get their 2 month vaccinations at their next apt, they scheduled that appointment 4 days shy of 2 months.
I honestly have no idea what to do. If they are vaccinated, the point is moot, but how can I ever trust that they will follow the rules that we set down as parents? If the twins are ever in their care will they give them medicine (if appropriate)? If (god forbid) one of the babies has a food allergy, will they avoid feeding that food, or will they give it to
them? I may have my husband call and tell them that the babies have been vaccinated, so she doesn't need the shot, but any visit will be strictly monitored. I know for damn sure I will not leave the kids alone with his mother until she can prove that she's not going to undermine us at every opportunity. He will also make it clear that surprise visits/visits we said no to will not happen again.
I'm honestly open to suggestions. Any MIL pissing match stories that had a positive ending? Any tips?
Baby #2 - March 2017
Samantha - 4/5/2017
WTF do I have to do for you people to get this paperwork? Walk it over and hand it to you in person? Looks like another phone call this morning.
Samantha - 4/5/2017