1. TTGP It's not always easy and fast. My direct family seems to get pregnant quickly, so I honestly didn't realize that average healthy couples with no known issues could take a while to actually conceive.
2. Pregnancy How severe morning sickness can be for some people. I haven't had to experience it myself, but this board has opened my eyes to a lot of struggles people might face.
3. Labor/Delivery It sucks so bad. It hurts, and I like to feel clean, and there is so much gross gunk gushing out of your body. Seriously every gush I said "oh it's so gross, I'm gushing" and the nurse would say "ok I'll get that cleaned up for you in a second" I probably drove her just as crazy as she drove me. And everyone will make you want to punch them.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms Your boobs could have different amounts of milk they produce, and then be lopsided.
5. Life with a newborn that you will go from a fun carefree person, to a paranoid, protective, boring person. 9 o'clock at night is late, and every choice you make has you thinking about how it will affect your baby. Even clothing, I don't wear any top with buttons because I don't want them digging in his face. If I eat this will he not want my milk? If we go out we need to do it immediately after he eats and has his diaper changed.
1. TTGP That it would be a somewhat stressful, sometimes sad and semi long process. I figured my husband and I would get pregnant quickly and easily....and it took us a while and through many months of me crying each time my period came. But we succeeded and have our beautiful little girl now
2. Pregnancy How amazing of an experience it is, even through the ucomfortable stuff. Feeling and seeing my baby grow and move inside me was the most incredible thing....I felt so amazing to experience that
3. Labor/Delivery Back labor is awful and even with an epidural, that doesn't cease at all. And how even after your water breaks, you gush over and over...and it feels pretty gross. I also could've never imagined what a c section would feel like....it was an indescribable experience but once my baby was out and I heard her cry and got to hold her, I didn't feel all the pressure and tugging anymore
4. Postpartum body/symptoms The amount of bleeding you have in the days and weeks after birth, even after a c-section. And how awful the pain is when the nurses push on your uterus in the hospital, I was warned but boy it really really sucked, and the constipation/gas after having a c section
5. Life with a newborn How your body adjusts to sleeping in increments, how I could care less about doing much else other than being with my daughter and caring for her, how much of a mama bear I became and constantly am near my baby or hovering to check on her even when she is asleep, and how absolutely amazing it is to be a Mom even when I am dead tired and have a screaming baby who is demanding to be fed quicker than I can pull my boob out. I also assumed breast feeding would be easy, and although she bf no problem, I have to supplement a little everyday bc my supply isn't up there enough to be sufficient. It broke my heart at first but I am greatful to give her my breast milk as 75% or more of her intake and I want only what is best for her and she is growing like a champ
1. TTGP Don't be afraid to shut down all the people asking you when you're going to have a baby. That's just added pressure to the situation
2. Pregnancy How sometimes you will love it and hate it at the same time. And the weird random symptoms you get that aren't the "typical" well known ones
3. Labor/Delivery That even if your water breaks you still leak until you deliver. And how little I cared about having nurses help me pee or people seeing me with my boobs out. After giving birth those things didn't seem weird or intrusive anymore
4. Postpartum body/symptoms Just how much your boobs can start leaking out of nowhere. And as @kswiger06 mentioned, the lopsided boobs which I currently have
5. Life with a newborn How lonely and boring it can be at times. And I knew breastfeeding wasn't going to be easy, but it's been more draining than I expected
We were NTNP for about a year, but it's ridiculous how many people ask "When are you going to have a baby?" Like literally after we got married we had people asking! It's really no ones business but ours!
2. Pregnancy
How much morning sickness sucks! I was so sick for the longest time that I ended up losing weight and it worried me that DD wasn't getting the nutrients she needed.
3. Labor/Delivery
How many needles are involved! I hate needles! I had a relatively uncomplicated birth (vaginal, no epi, total labor from water breaking to DD being born was about 16 hours) but I was still poked and prodded to no end!
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
All the bleeding. It sucks. And I was surprised by the PP swelling as well.
5. Life with a newborn*
*I'm going to switch this to life with a preemie. I wish I would have known ahead of time that she would have been born early (even though these things are not usually predictable). Like I mentioned earlier water breaking to birth was only about 16 hours, so I only had a few hours to mentally prepare for her early arrival before labor really kicked in. When she was born she was taken straight to the NICU almost immediately (we got to have a quick family photo luckily). I have heard of some families being able to tour the NICU if they know ahead of time their LO will arrive early, but I had no idea she would come early and had to embrace the NICU in stride. I know I really shouldn't complain because some babies stay much much longer, but those were the 5 longest days of my life (which included Christmas Day). We were so incredibly fortunate that the only thing holding her back was her feeding, but I still worry about her even though she's perfectly healthy.
1. TTGP welllll this baby was a surprise so I don't have much to add here. But being on TB made me appreciate jits how hard it can be.
2. Pregnancy everyone thinks that because you're carrying another human they can comment on and need to know EVERYTHING. The Starbucks guy by my work always winked and asked if I wanted decaf. Nope, sure don't. My boss was also legitimately offended that I didn't tell her when I lost my mucus plug Also at a certain point you'll feel like just a vessel, and that's not so bad. Just embrace it.
3. Labor/delivery the epidural didn't cover my back labor. That was an unwelcome surprise! I joked with the nurses during my induction that I wanted all the drugs because I have a super low pain tolerance. Turns out all the drugs didn't help! But even with the pain (which I thought was absolutely brutal), you'll feel so determined and like such a warrior. My body knew exactly what to do to get this baby out, I just had to listen. It was so cool.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms high school sex ed classes should focus on scaring kids with the postpartum stuff instead of labor. The bleeding, the stitches, the terrifying first poop (and emerging from the bathroom that first time feeling like you conquered the world). The hardest part for me though was balancing taking care of my body after delivery with taking care of a newborn. Nobody prepares you for that.
5. Life with a newborn breastfeeding is HARD. Everyone has an opinion about every choice you make. Your body will adjust to your new sleep schedule. You'll see your SO in a totally new light (and may fall even more in love with them because of it.) nothing that you thought mattered actually matters anymore, except your baby. I grew way closer with my mom after becoming a mother myself. All the hard stuff can never compare to staring at your sweet baby sleeping in your arms.
1. TTGP I always thought when my time to have babies came, it'd be a breeze. *tw* but when I lost two babies in a row, I began to get desperate. My life revolved around getting pregnant. Sex became a chore and it really strained my relationship with H. I'd wake up every morning to pee on a stick and I spent way too much money on tests. I was unhealthily obsessed. I wish I knew how mentally exhausting ttgp was. It was not a fun experience for me and I wish I had relaxed and enjoyed it, but I just couldn't. Hindsight is always 20/20 though and I'll know better for our next ttc journey.
2. Pregnancy SCIATIC NERVE PAIN. I had no idea what that shit was. But around week 10 or 11, I felt this pain in my butt and it didn't leave until 2 weeks of. It was so severe toward the end of my pregnancy, I couldn't get off the couch without help or put pants on. It was impossible to switch positions in bed. It was excruciating and no amount of chiropractic adjustments helped. I'm so glad that part is FINALLY over.
3. Labor/Delivery I didn't know you bled before the baby came out. I didn't realize that when your water breaks for real, you'll lose big clots and bleed a ton. I saw it and was scared that something was wrong. I asked the nurse multiple times if that was normal and the goop floating around in the tub water was just disgusting. I secretly wonder if H was grossed out being in the tub with me, cause I sure as shit was.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms I didn't realize how good I'd feel. I felt so fantastic after I popped that baby out. I felt lighter than air and that I could finally breathe. It was amazing. I thought I'd be in bed for days agonizing over my excruciating giant floppy vagina. I know every experience is so different but the first pp pee and poop was not that bad. Yeah it burned at first but it was fine. I tore and needed stitches, but I found the peri bottle to be a nuisance and stopped using it and the foamy spray after like day 2 pp. I was really scared of pp vajayjay based on reading others experiences, but it was seriously not that big of a deal to me. I love being not pregnant way more than I ever though I would.
5. Life with a newborn I never knew how much I could love a human being. I consider myself to be a pretty self-centered person. I've come to terms with it. Accepted it. Embraced it. It's something my friends and family have come to love and laugh about with me. Then I met my baby and life wasn't about me anymore. I don't care about anything or love anyone more than I love my tiny human I made with my uterus and I literally couldn't understand it until I experienced it. It's incredible.
And smelling that fresh new baby gives you a high better than anything experimented with in college.
1. TTGP: I think I actually did learn most of what I needed to know from TTGP here on TB! I'm glad I knew not to panic if it takes a while. It took us six months-a very average amount of time-and I knew each month I got a BFN that it was totally normal.
2. Pregnancy: This is very specific to me, but I wish I hadn't taken passing the GTT as a license to Eat All The Donuts. I keep thinking that my horrific late-third tri diet is responsible for why my baby is so big. He is fine and very healthy, but a 9 pound baby might have made for a smoother delivery that put him less at risk.
3. Labor/Delivery: I wish I knew that to prepare for an unmedicated birth I needed to both learn to breathe through the pain AND work on my own self-doubt that crept in when pushing got tough. It was more of a mental challenge than physical for me.
4. Postpartum Body/Symptoms: I wish I knew that peeing after birth would be all sorts of weird for about a week, but not forever. I was afraid I'd permanently damaged my bladder when I needed to cough to make pee come out for a few days!
5. Life with a NB: I wish I knew that the sleepless nights start to improve very quickly but that getting housework of any kind done is nearly impossible even after a few weeks.
1. TTGP To be patient and that it would happen eventually. It only took us three months but I was so high strung that I made the process very stressful and not fun.
2. Pregnancy Even if you do everything "right" things can still go wrong and it's not necessarily what you'd expect. I had never even heard of pprom until it happened to me. I wish I had enjoyed the uncomplicated part of my pregnancy more instead of worrying so much because it made no difference in the end.
3. Labor/Delivery I had no idea I would feel like such a bad ass afterward. It was a complete high like I've never felt before. Pure joy.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms That baby weight doesn't fall off just due to breastfeeding and you can't expect your body to look, feel, or act the same. I would have said I knew this, but I didn't really get it until now.
5. Life with a newborn Forget everything you plan to get done during your leave. Ask for help. Get out of the house and interact with the world. Hanging out snuggling with the baby isn't "doing nothing".
1. TTGP As a 37 year old, I was expecting this to take awhile longer. I was really surprised at two/three months in, after not much "trying" that we were KO. I guess you just really never know.
2. Pregnancy I didn't expect the lack of sleep through all three trimesters; I wish I'd known how hard I would be struggling just to get through my days. I also didn't know how much I'd worry: all the tests, everything I ate/drank, slipping on snow and landing on my butt, people smoking outside of buildings, etc. Every single thing that could possibly impact the baby, which was everything, drove me nutty.
3. Labor/Delivery Pushing doesn't feel natural or like a relief for everyone. This was the hardest part for me.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms It's easy to forget to take care of yourself. On day two of being home, H was threatening me with a trip back to the hospital because I was loopy from either dehydration, low blood sugar or high blood pressure. Eating, drinking and resting were more important to me and the baby than I realized at first.
5. Life with a newborn There is no schedule. This still drives me crazy. I like routines and patterns and knowing what's next. Now my life is full of constant unease and mystery solving: why is the baby crying this time and how do I get her to calm down?
1. TTGP-Both of my children were happy surprises, as we weren't TTGP...this time around DH will be having a vasectomy.
2. Pregnancy -I never thought 2 pregnancies could be so different for the same mama. My oldest was 2 weeks overdue and still didn't want to come out with induction. This time, I was in the hospital for 19 days trying to keep him in till 34 weeks.
3. Labor/Delivery-I had no idea a cesarean would hurt so badly. I went epidural free with my first (vaginal birth) but I didn't respond well to the spinal for my cesarean this time around and then had a lot of tissue stuck in part of my bicorniate uterus and I felt so much pain and pressure while the doc was delivering and then trying to get all the tissue out.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms- So much swelling from all the fluids they pumped me up with prior to surgery. Again, I never experienced this with my first so I wasn't expecting this.
5. Life with a newborn-I'm stuck in 2 very different developmental stages. Evenings are spent helping big sister with homework while nursing baby. I think it's really just hit me how big the age difference is.
1.TTGP - how obsessive i would become about it, googling false negative pregnancy tests and hiding that i was taking tests the day my period was due. It took 4 months but it happened straight away for so many others i know that i expected it to be the same for me and worried like crazy when it didnt.
2. Pregnancy - i did not enjoy pregnancy at all. I didnt expect to but the level i hated it surprised me.
3. Labour/delivery - that you wont have a shred of dignity left and you wont care that strangers (midwives, doctors etc) see you be sick over yourself, have to help you get to the toilet, poke about your privates. I was always a bit prudish and now not a care, everyone has seen everything.
4. Post Partum - the bleeding. The day after i had the baby i was taken to get washed & the place was like a murder scene when i came out! I was so embarressed as i couldnt even clean it up a bit & someone else had to clean up after me. Also the constipation! If i couldve got a spoon up there to scoop it out i wouldve the pain was so bad!
5. Life with a newborn - how you feel like no one can care for the baby the way you do. Dont try to do everything yourself, im not superwoman despite my best efforts. It takes a while to get into a way of going & feel like you can actually manage.
1. TTGP The "two week wait" is the pits. Every period had a sense of disappointment, and like a couple of previous posters I got really obsessive with it.
2. Pregnancy Morning sickness, general discomfort, PGAL anxiety. OMG the anxiety. Sleepless nights.
3. Labor/Delivery I got extremely lucky in this department, but reading through others' birth stories has given me a lot of perspective.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms I got very lucky as far as physical recovery goes. Lots of anxiety and it was a good week before I got more than an hour of sleep at a time, I found myself constantly checking that she was still breathing. It wasn't until I made the decision to co-sleep that we both started sleeping decently.
5. Life with a newborn: The smell of your baby is the most intoxicating thing on the planet. I wanted to bottle up the smell of her and hoard it. Also for some reason getting puked/peed/pooped on wasn't nearly as terrible as I thought it would be.
1. TTGP People who say "Just relax and it will happen" deserve a good swift punch in the throat. Also, people who dismiss miscarriages at 5-6w as "chemical pregnancies" and "not really a miscarriage".
2. Pregnancy It feels awful at the time, but when you are sitting around with a newborn who hasn't slept more than an hour in daaaays, and you see a tv show with a character in the 2nd trimester, you'll go "aaawww, I kinda miss that" - note, second trimester ONLY. The only reason I'll willingly do 1st and 3rd again is for the baby. But the second was pretty okay. Everyone smiles at pregnant ladies, and I wasn't getting the "oooh, you're so BIG" comments yet, and it didn't hurt to walk.
3. Labor/Delivery You can tell yourself "Healthy mum, healthy babe" until the cows come home, and tell yourself you've divested yourself of expectations and are just going into it with an open mind, but you probably still have *some* picture of how it will go, and that's okay. Don't let people who scoff at birth plans convince you you have to be okay with however it goes, as long as you get a baby out of it. And then, if it doesn't go the way you hoped, it's okay to be disappointed. Trying to deny that you are might make your recovery worse than if you just confront those feelings and acknowledge them.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms The joint pain!! I know it's not a common symptom, but I've had serious joint issues PP, and no one prepared me for the fact that my worst SI pain would come after baby, not before. Super fun to have those joint pains and no sleep and a screaming newborn... I spent a lot of time googling it to get reassurance that I hadn't just broke my body.
5. Life with a newborn: Yes, the no sleep sucks, but you'll find yourself more capable of going on little snatches of sleep than you ever thought possible before baby. In November, if I got 4 hours of sleep I was utterly miserable. Now, if my husband takes him and I get 4 hours I feel like superwoman.
1. TTGP Like @MLRocha , I was 37 when we started TTC, and 38 by the time we did. It actually happened faster than I thought it would, and seeing that BFP is still one of the most incredible moments of my life. We had been NTNP for two months, then actively trying for three, and then it happened. I am glad, in hindsight, that I didn't tell many people we were trying. The people I did tell never made me feel pressured, and knew not to ask me how it was going or whether I had had any luck yet. (Oh, and I only came up with this gem after I got BFP: "So when are you going to have a baby?" "Probably nine months after I get pregnant.")
2. Pregnancy I didn't realize how much sleeping would suck. It was amusing that everyone who said "sleep while you still can!" was a penis-haver. I stopped sleeping through the night around month 4, what with constantly having to pee, hip pain, body temp issues.
3. Labor/Delivery My last month was such a roller coaster- they'd brought up a possible C section because of my low placenta, which ended up not being an issue. Then the baby was stubbornly breech until 37 weeks, so we scheduled a C. Eight days before, I had a scare and went in for a US, and she had flipped. We didn't cancel the C, which was good, because at my next appointment she was breech again. Then we went in for the C on 1/23 and she had flipped, so they sent us home. Two appointments later, she was breech again and they scheduled the C for the next day. I have never heard of that happening, and even the doctors were mystified. It was definitely not the worst problem to have, but thinking I was going to have that C and then being sent home was really emotionally jarring.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms So many women in my life have had Cs, so I was aware that there would be crazy pain and limited mobility. I wasn't prepared for the sheer volume of blood, and having to keep a full on bed pad in my pants for two days. I would tell anyone needing a C to get up when they tell you to just to get the feeling in your legs back, but to have your SO/family/docs/nurses hand you the baby whenever possible. I think I got up to get her more often than I should have, and I hated that I was associating that pain with taking care of her.
5. Life with a newborn Nothing can prepare you for this. It's really been amazing. I sit there during 3am feeds just whispering in her ear how much I love her. And the political climate has had a huge impact on my feelings about her future. When I found out I was having a girl, I was optimistic that she would be born during the administration of the first female president. Then the Cheeto won and my heart shattered. There is so much more at stake for her now, and I am so determined to do everything I can to repair/slow the damage that is going to be done to this country. And I will do everything I can to help her fight whatever new challenges she'll face now, simply because she is female.
Married: 2011 TTC #1: 3/2016 Me 39 - DH 44 BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17 DD born 2/3/17
1. TTGP That the two week wait is hell. Also that trying to get pregnant can make your period late and give you false hope. Man the rants I have in my journal about Mother Nature being a complete b**** and psyching me out... yeah.
2. Pregnancy That it's not as miserable as all that in the first trimester? I mean I won't lie I got off very easy for my pregnancy so there wasn't a lot I questioned.
3. Labor/Delivery That losing your mucus plug doesn't mean labour is imminent in the next few hours. I mean I probably misinterpreted the prenatal nurse in our classes, but when she was describing the situation I was sure that when you lose your mucus plug get ready! I called my poor husband out of work freaking out and called my midwife all concerned who informed me that it could be hours, days, or weeks(in my case it wound up being a day). Actual labour and delivery was basically as I expected it to be. I expected a fair deal of pain and I got it, I only wish I had been taught proper breathing techniques! It would have been so much better for me if I didn't basically start hyperventilating through each contraction. It was so bad I couldn't take proper pulls of the laughing gas and it was all but useless.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms How hard it is to do anything regarding going to the bathroom with all those stitches down there O.O You really take going to the bathroom for granted until after you have a baby... well, if you tear that is.
5. Life with a newborn The broken sleep is a big one for me. I mean I knew I would be tired, just not the kind of tired one can become when waking up every couple of hours... that and getting frustrated sometimes. I feel like the worst mother alive when I feel myself getting irritated when my son cries after I've thought I've taken care of all of his needs. He's a baby, he can't help it and I can't believe I am not more understanding about it. I mean I know the lack of sleep contributes to stress and nerves, but I really find myself hating myself for thinking what I do
1. TTGP That the two week wait is hell. Also that trying to get pregnant can make your period late and give you false hope. Man the rants I have in my journal about Mother Nature being a complete b**** and psyching me out... yeah.
2. Pregnancy That it's not as miserable as all that in the first trimester? I mean I won't lie I got off very easy for my pregnancy so there wasn't a lot I questioned.
3. Labor/Delivery That losing your mucus plug doesn't mean labour is imminent in the next few hours. I mean I probably misinterpreted the prenatal nurse in our classes, but when she was describing the situation I was sure that when you lose your mucus plug get ready! I called my poor husband out of work freaking out and called my midwife all concerned who informed me that it could be hours, days, or weeks(in my case it wound up being a day). Actual labour and delivery was basically as I expected it to be. I expected a fair deal of pain and I got it, I only wish I had been taught proper breathing techniques! It would have been so much better for me if I didn't basically start hyperventilating through each contraction. It was so bad I couldn't take proper pulls of the laughing gas and it was all but useless.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms How hard it is to do anything regarding going to the bathroom with all those stitches down there O.O You really take going to the bathroom for granted until after you have a baby... well, if you tear that is.
5. Life with a newborn The broken sleep is a big one for me. I mean I knew I would be tired, just not the kind of tired one can become when waking up every couple of hours... that and getting frustrated sometimes. I feel like the worst mother alive when I feel myself getting irritated when my son cries after I've thought I've taken care of all of his needs. He's a baby, he can't help it and I can't believe I am not more understanding about it. I mean I know the lack of sleep contributes to stress and nerves, butI really find myself hating myself for thinking what I do
When you've done everything you can think of, and you are feeling frustrated, it's ok to lie your baby down in a safe place, and take 10-15 minutes to cool off and calm down before going back, and trying to handle him. Sometimes they just cry, and it's not always easy to fix. And I'm not sure what kinds of things you are thinking sometimes, but if you're getting that tired, stressed, and worn out, don't be afraid to get help. Maybe it's just an extra set of hands, or maybe it's someone to just talk to, so you can get it out.
1. TTGP That I shouldn't worry unless there is something to worry about. We were so lucky and got prego our first real try. I thought being 30 and having never been pregnant before that it would take forever. I just worried myself for no reason.
2. Pregnancy Omg. So much. That you can FEEL implantation. Like, woke me up- that is insane. How much pregnancy controls your thoughts. I literally caree about nothing except my pregnancy and this baby. I think I did nothing at work the last 6 weeks I was there and before that, I was at 65% max.
3. Labor/Delivery I knew it would hurt. I thought I could donit without pain meds. I didn't expect how exhausting pushing would be. I had always read pushing was a relief-- not at all! I want to start doing squats now to prep for our next babe.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms I felt like I had been in a very small car accident for a few days. Mostly from using the squat bar to push. But I recovered WAY quicker than I thought I would. But omg I'm starving all the time- thanks breastfeeding!
5. Life with a newborn Two things: 1. How quickly you get used to always carrying a tiny human. My arms rarely get tired when I thought they would constantly. And I can pick up all kinds of things with my toes now! And 2. How much I would love maternity leave. It is an introvert's dream. I get to stay home with this tiny human I made and adore. I read books and people come in very small groups -- and they bring food! It is lovely and I hate that I have to go back to work in 6 wks. I wish I could stay home longer.
When you've done everything you can think of, and you are feeling frustrated, it's ok to lie your baby down in a safe place, and take 10-15 minutes to cool off and calm down before going back, and trying to handle him. Sometimes they just cry, and it's not always easy to fix. And I'm not sure what kinds of things you are thinking sometimes, but if you're getting that tired, stressed, and worn out, don't be afraid to get help. Maybe it's just an extra set of hands, or maybe it's someone to just talk to, so you can get it out.
My prenatal nurse said that in our pre-birth classes too. She explained purple crying and just having to walk away from baby sometimes. I don't know why I can't bring myself to do it like I should. I finally broke down crying at my DH today and told him what a failure I feel like because I can't comfort my own son. DH sent off a private text to my best friend who has a little girl of her own and I got a phone call almost instantly. She said basically everything you did, and despite living two hours away even volunteered to be that extra set of hands if I need it. She also warned me that frustration like I have is a sign of possible onset of postpartum depression and maybe I should talk to a nurse to get checked out. I thought I was okay, I mean I wasn't weepy or anything, but I guess postpartum depression is a little more than that. I can assure you my thoughts never go to hurting my baby, it's mostly just, "dear god stop crying!" and "mommy's going to run the hell away." even that's god awful though, and I will be talking to someone in the next couple of days to see about coping mechanisms.
@BeckS13 I'm glad you talked to your husband and he contacted your friend. It's good to have people know what you're feeling and going through. It sounds like you have a good friend. It's good you'll be reaching out to find other support, I hope you find things to help make things easier on you.
@gretchypoo not to take away from your experience, which I'm sure was lovely, but I've got to pick a bone with your statement that you can feel implantation. Since your uterine lining does not have any nerve endings, it's not physically possible for a person to feel implantation. Not to mention that there's a wide window of time within which implantation can occur, so It's impossible to pinpoint the exact time of implantation.
I dont mean to offend you, but there's enough silliness floating around TB without well-established members feeding the fire. Chances are you just had a bit of gas.
@NiceyMeany I get your concern because I don't want to spread misinformation but what I felt was real, not gas, and it happens to a lot of women. The Bump even has an article about it that I can't figure out how to link.
I felt cramping that felt like bad period cramps. I remember because it woke me up in the middle of the night and I got upset and thought my period was starting early. I asked my midwives and they told me it was likely me feeling the implantation.
Did you read the article? It's not the moment of conception. It's cramping because the egg has already implanted. It actually says if it's severe to see your doctor but that it's most likely gas (or your uterus expanding). I would say being woken up in pain is pretty severe so NiceyMeany was spot on.
Did you read the article? It's not the moment of conception. It's cramping because the egg has already implanted. It actually says if it's severe to see your doctor but that it's most likely gas (or your uterus expanding). I would say being woken up in pain is pretty severe so NiceyMeany was spot on.
I didn't say I felt conception. I said I felt implantation. I'm not an idiot. And yes I read the article. It backs up what I said.
Did you read the article? It's not the moment of conception. It's cramping because the egg has already implanted. It actually says if it's severe to see your doctor but that it's most likely gas (or your uterus expanding). I would say being woken up in pain is pretty severe so NiceyMeany was spot on.
This is the paragraph you're getting the information regarding the uterus expanding and/or gas.
If at any point in your pregnancy the cramping becomes severe, lasts more than a couple of days or occurs after a positive pregnancy test, head straight to your doctor. It's probably just gas or the feeling of your growing uterus, but it's important to rule out miscarriage, preterm labor, placental abruption, preeclampsia, and urinary tract infections.
That is after the information talking about implantation cramps. It's not saying that the original cramping at the time of implantation is just gas or the growing uterus, it's saying that if after you test positive or at any point in your pregnancy (from BFP onward) cramps are severe that you should go to the dr. It then says that most of the time those cramps are gas or expanding uterus, but miscarriage and so on should get ruled out.
I had those cramps when I got pregnant with our oldest. I'm not trying to say you can feel the exact moment of implantation, and I don't believe that article says so either, but instead it's a symptom that can be experienced as a result of the fertilized egg, burrowing into the uterus.
@kswiger06 ok, if you really want to parse the article, it also says that implantation cramps "should be minor and brief (lasting only a day two)." A DAY OR TWO. Cramping lasting that length of time would indicate a response to either the surge of hormones OR the stretching of the uterus. But it in no way indicates that a person can "feel implantation."
Further, it's worth mentioning that implantation cramping has almost no evidence-based literature to back it up. It comes up with no results on PubMed, and the only references to it in a Google search are in forums or fluffy articles on places like TB (sorry, BGs!). There is no way to definitively prove that it even exists, as "cramping" is a subjective sensation, and its cause can only be confirmed in hindsight.
Look, I'm not here to say what anyone did or didn't experience. But let's be cautious about lending validity to ideas that are specious at best.
1. TTGP: I pretty much learned everything I know about TTGP from the bump. Before that I didn't know anything. I was fully prepared for it to take 6+ months and then it happened on my first ovulating cycle. I learned how much better my body feels off the BCP though so I don't plan on going back on it.
2. Pregnancy: I was shocked at how pregnancy affects everything. I wish I hadn't been so worried for the first two trimesters. I worked myself up into tears sure something was wrong before every appointment rather than enjoying it. By the third trimester though I relaxed some and was able to enjoy being pregnant. Though by then I was in a ton of pain with back and hips and couldn't breathe when I walked. Still overall I loved being pregnant, feeling him kick was the coolest feeling in the world. Seeing him at the 20 week U/S was also one of the coolest experiences. I didn't realize he'd already look like a baby then.
3. Labor/Delivery: Even having an open mind about what you want doesn't mean that you won't feel disappointment after. I thought that since I didn't really have a birth plan I'd be fine but my labor was really difficult and both baby and I ended up with fevers after so he was taken to the NICU pretty directly and we missed the initial skin to skin and initial breastfeeding so breastfeeding has been a struggle for us. He also ended up with an IV and needed extra blood work and stuff done because of the fevers which was so hard to watch and I really felt like I failed him.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms: I was not prepared at all for all the healing I'd need. I had an episiotomy and still tore so I was very swolen down there. I also have a lot of trouble with bleeding. It keeps getting better then I lift Ridley in his car seat and feel a gush and it's back to red and really heavy. I hate being limited by my own body and relying on DH so much for help. It's been hard but I've been trying to accept it more.
5. Life with a newborn: I knew it'd be a ton of work but I had no idea how much. It's hard when you have a kid who just wants to be held all the time and fights sleep so hard. He's also started to not be happy unless I'm dancing while holding him so he screams when I sit down. We're at almost 3 weeks and DH returns to work today. I thought I'd be vacuuming and cooking a bunch of meals and stuff by now when in reality I'm struggling to just find time to take a nap, eat, and shower. Idk how we're going to get by without DH during the day but hopefully we get into a groove.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
1. TTGP- That most people truly don't understand just how long it can take to have a baby and what IF really entails. Waiting years can actually become a reality filled with thousands of dollars in medical testing and pokes, prods, and various medications. I didn't realize how bitter it would make me and how infertility would have lasting effects on how I view other people TTGP even now. Not going to lie, reading how some of you think 3-4 months is a long time makes me jealous, ragey and emotional. It isn't an easy road for some.
2. Pregnancy- How much I would feel like this walking vessel protector of my baby. How I would mourn not being pregnant anymore. That insomnia is a thing during pregnancy and it really does suck. I loved being pregnant every minute and I miss it. I also didn't realize how many complications could arise....
3. Labor/Delivery- Things can change on a dime and you can go from 0-60 in little to no time. I was sick as hell with HELLP syndrome but the moment I needed to get him out my body just knew it. I told the doc it was time and he was here 20 minutes later. It amazed me how much my body just knew what to do and how strong I felt pushing him out even at my weakest moment of my life, laying on my death bed.
4. Postpartum- I didn't even realize that retained placenta was a possibility. I also felt like my PP recovery wasn't as bad as I had imagined in my head.
5. Newborn- I wish I knew how strong I would feel about missing those first few days of his life. Everything happened so fast, but not being able to be there was excruciating. I don't think that scar will ever fade. I wish I had had a support group or therapy session while in the NICU. Not being able to hold my new baby for weeks was awful and something I truly can't see myself ever forgetting the pain of. I will say that the sleepless nights haven't been as bad as I had imagined and going through all this tough stuff TTGP, IF, and HELLP syndrome has brought me so much closer to my husband. We have a new appreciation for one another.
4/15--TTC #1 12/15--IF testing 3/16--Dx Unexplained IF Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI + Progesterone cycle Cancelled due to cysts. Started 3 weeks of BCP. 4/16--Cute Ute! Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI+Progesterone TI. Cancelled-no response 5/16--Hemmorhagic cyst and other cyst discovered. No medicated cycle. MRI scheduled to rule out septate uterus. 6/16--Septum discovered. Consultation for surgery. Surprise BFP 6/8/16--EDD 2/13/17 Kole David--1.7.17--Tiny but Mighty, born at 34+5 after HELLP syndrome Chart Stalk Me
Re: Things you wish you knew
It's not always easy and fast. My direct family seems to get pregnant quickly, so I honestly didn't realize that average healthy couples with no known issues could take a while to actually conceive.
2. Pregnancy
How severe morning sickness can be for some people. I haven't had to experience it myself, but this board has opened my eyes to a lot of struggles people might face.
3. Labor/Delivery
It sucks so bad. It hurts, and I like to feel clean, and there is so much gross gunk gushing out of your body. Seriously every gush I said "oh it's so gross, I'm gushing" and the nurse would say "ok I'll get that cleaned up for you in a second" I probably drove her just as crazy as she drove me. And everyone will make you want to punch them.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
Your boobs could have different amounts of milk they produce, and then be lopsided.
5. Life with a newborn
that you will go from a fun carefree person, to a paranoid, protective, boring person. 9 o'clock at night is late, and every choice you make has you thinking about how it will affect your baby. Even clothing, I don't wear any top with buttons because I don't want them digging in his face. If I eat this will he not want my milk? If we go out we need to do it immediately after he eats and has his diaper changed.
That it would be a somewhat stressful, sometimes sad and semi long process. I figured my husband and I would get pregnant quickly and easily....and it took us a while and through many months of me crying each time my period came. But we succeeded and have our beautiful little girl now
2. Pregnancy
How amazing of an experience it is, even through the ucomfortable stuff. Feeling and seeing my baby grow and move inside me was the most incredible thing....I felt so amazing to experience that
3. Labor/Delivery
Back labor is awful and even with an epidural, that doesn't cease at all. And how even after your water breaks, you gush over and over...and it feels pretty gross. I also could've never imagined what a c section would feel like....it was an indescribable experience but once my baby was out and I heard her cry and got to hold her, I didn't feel all the pressure and tugging anymore
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
The amount of bleeding you have in the days and weeks after birth, even after a c-section. And how awful the pain is when the nurses push on your uterus in the hospital, I was warned but boy it really really sucked, and the constipation/gas after having a c section
5. Life with a newborn
How your body adjusts to sleeping in increments, how I could care less about doing much else other than being with my daughter and caring for her, how much of a mama bear I became and constantly am near my baby or hovering to check on her even when she is asleep, and how absolutely amazing it is to be a Mom even when I am dead tired and have a screaming baby who is demanding to be fed quicker than I can pull my boob out. I also assumed breast feeding would be easy, and although she bf no problem, I have to supplement a little everyday bc my supply isn't up there enough to be sufficient. It broke my heart at first but I am greatful to give her my breast milk as 75% or more of her intake and I want only what is best for her and she is growing like a champ
Don't be afraid to shut down all the people asking you when you're going to have a baby. That's just added pressure to the situation
2. Pregnancy
How sometimes you will love it and hate it at the same time. And the weird random symptoms you get that aren't the "typical" well known ones
3. Labor/Delivery
That even if your water breaks you still leak until you deliver. And how little I cared about having nurses help me pee or people seeing me with my boobs out. After giving birth those things didn't seem weird or intrusive anymore
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
Just how much your boobs can start leaking out of nowhere. And as @kswiger06 mentioned, the lopsided boobs which I currently have
5. Life with a newborn
How lonely and boring it can be at times. And I knew breastfeeding wasn't going to be easy, but it's been more draining than I expected
We were NTNP for about a year, but it's ridiculous how many people ask "When are you going to have a baby?" Like literally after we got married we had people asking! It's really no ones business but ours!
2. Pregnancy
How much morning sickness sucks! I was so sick for the longest time that I ended up losing weight and it worried me that DD wasn't getting the nutrients she needed.
3. Labor/Delivery
How many needles are involved! I hate needles! I had a relatively uncomplicated birth (vaginal, no epi, total labor from water breaking to DD being born was about 16 hours) but I was still poked and prodded to no end!
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
All the bleeding. It sucks. And I was surprised by the PP swelling as well.
5. Life with a newborn*
*I'm going to switch this to life with a preemie. I wish I would have known ahead of time that she would have been born early (even though these things are not usually predictable). Like I mentioned earlier water breaking to birth was only about 16 hours, so I only had a few hours to mentally prepare for her early arrival
before labor really kicked in. When she was born she was taken straight to the NICU almost immediately (we got to have a quick family photo luckily). I have heard of some families being able to tour the NICU if they know ahead of time their LO will arrive early, but I had no idea she would come early and had to embrace the NICU in stride. I know I really shouldn't complain because some babies stay much much longer, but those were the 5 longest days of my life (which included Christmas Day). We were so incredibly fortunate that the only thing holding her back was her feeding, but I still worry about her even though she's perfectly healthy.
1. TTGP
welllll this baby was a surprise so I don't have much to add here. But being on TB made me appreciate jits how hard it can be.
2. Pregnancy
everyone thinks that because you're carrying another human they can comment on and need to know EVERYTHING. The Starbucks guy by my work always winked and asked if I wanted decaf. Nope, sure don't. My boss was also legitimately offended that I didn't tell her when I lost my mucus plug Also at a certain point you'll feel like just a vessel, and that's not so bad. Just embrace it.
3. Labor/delivery
the epidural didn't cover my back labor. That was an unwelcome surprise! I joked with the nurses during my induction that I wanted all the drugs because I have a super low pain tolerance. Turns out all the drugs didn't help! But even with the pain (which I thought was absolutely brutal), you'll feel so determined and like such a warrior. My body knew exactly what to do to get this baby out, I just had to listen. It was so cool.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
high school sex ed classes should focus on scaring kids with the postpartum stuff instead of labor. The bleeding, the stitches, the terrifying first poop (and emerging from the bathroom that first time feeling like you conquered the world). The hardest part for me though was balancing taking care of my body after delivery with taking care of a newborn. Nobody prepares you for that.
5. Life with a newborn
breastfeeding is HARD. Everyone has an opinion about every choice you make. Your body will adjust to your new sleep schedule. You'll see your SO in a totally new light (and may fall even more in love with them because of it.) nothing that you thought mattered actually matters anymore, except your baby. I grew way closer with my mom after becoming a mother myself. All the hard stuff can never compare to staring at your sweet baby sleeping in your arms.
I always thought when my time to have babies came, it'd be a breeze. *tw* but when I lost two babies in a row, I began to get desperate. My life revolved around getting pregnant. Sex became a chore and it really strained my relationship with H. I'd wake up every morning to pee on a stick and I spent way too much money on tests. I was unhealthily obsessed. I wish I knew how mentally exhausting ttgp was. It was not a fun experience for me and I wish I had relaxed and enjoyed it, but I just couldn't. Hindsight is always 20/20 though and I'll know better for our next ttc journey.
2. Pregnancy
SCIATIC NERVE PAIN. I had no idea what that shit was. But around week 10 or 11, I felt this pain in my butt and it didn't leave until 2 weeks of. It was so severe toward the end of my pregnancy, I couldn't get off the couch without help or put pants on. It was impossible to switch positions in bed. It was excruciating and no amount of chiropractic adjustments helped. I'm so glad that part is FINALLY over.
3. Labor/Delivery
I didn't know you bled before the baby came out. I didn't realize that when your water breaks for real, you'll lose big clots and bleed a ton. I saw it and was scared that something was wrong. I asked the nurse multiple times if that was normal and the goop floating around in the tub water was just disgusting. I secretly wonder if H was grossed out being in the tub with me, cause I sure as shit was.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
I didn't realize how good I'd feel. I felt so fantastic after I popped that baby out. I felt lighter than air and that I could finally breathe. It was amazing. I thought I'd be in bed for days agonizing over my excruciating giant floppy vagina. I know every experience is so different but the first pp pee and poop was not that bad. Yeah it burned at first but it was fine. I tore and needed stitches, but I found the peri bottle to be a nuisance and stopped using it and the foamy spray after like day 2 pp. I was really scared of pp vajayjay based on reading others experiences, but it was seriously not that big of a deal to me. I love being not pregnant way more than I ever though I would.
5. Life with a newborn
I never knew how much I could love a human being. I consider myself to be a pretty self-centered person. I've come to terms with it. Accepted it. Embraced it. It's something my friends and family have come to love and laugh about with me. Then I met my baby and life wasn't about me anymore. I don't care about anything or love anyone more than I love my tiny human I made with my uterus and I literally couldn't understand it until I experienced it. It's incredible.
And smelling that fresh new baby gives you a high better than anything experimented with in college.
2. Pregnancy: This is very specific to me, but I wish I hadn't taken passing the GTT as a license to Eat All The Donuts. I keep thinking that my horrific late-third tri diet is responsible for why my baby is so big. He is fine and very healthy, but a 9 pound baby might have made for a smoother delivery that put him less at risk.
3. Labor/Delivery: I wish I knew that to prepare for an unmedicated birth I needed to both learn to breathe through the pain AND work on my own self-doubt that crept in when pushing got tough. It was more of a mental challenge than physical for me.
4. Postpartum Body/Symptoms: I wish I knew that peeing after birth would be all sorts of weird for about a week, but not forever. I was afraid I'd permanently damaged my bladder when I needed to cough to make pee come out for a few days!
5. Life with a NB: I wish I knew that the sleepless nights start to improve very quickly but that getting housework of any kind done is nearly impossible even after a few weeks.
To be patient and that it would happen eventually. It only took us three months but I was so high strung that I made the process very stressful and not fun.
2. Pregnancy
Even if you do everything "right" things can still go wrong and it's not necessarily what you'd expect. I had never even heard of pprom until it happened to me. I wish I had enjoyed the uncomplicated part of my pregnancy more instead of worrying so much because it made no difference in the end.
3. Labor/Delivery
I had no idea I would feel like such a bad ass afterward. It was a complete high like I've never felt before. Pure joy.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
That baby weight doesn't fall off just due to breastfeeding and you can't expect your body to look, feel, or act the same. I would have said I knew this, but I didn't really get it until now.
5. Life with a newborn
Forget everything you plan to get done during your leave. Ask for help. Get out of the house and interact with the world. Hanging out snuggling with the baby isn't "doing nothing".
As a 37 year old, I was expecting this to take awhile longer. I was really surprised at two/three months in, after not much "trying" that we were KO. I guess you just really never know.
2. Pregnancy
I didn't expect the lack of sleep through all three trimesters; I wish I'd known how hard I would be struggling just to get through my days. I also didn't know how much I'd worry: all the tests, everything I ate/drank, slipping on snow and landing on my butt, people smoking outside of buildings, etc. Every single thing that could possibly impact the baby, which was everything, drove me nutty.
3. Labor/Delivery
Pushing doesn't feel natural or like a relief for everyone. This was the hardest part for me.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
It's easy to forget to take care of yourself. On day two of being home, H was threatening me with a trip back to the hospital because I was loopy from either dehydration, low blood sugar or high blood pressure. Eating, drinking and resting were more important to me and the baby than I realized at first.
5. Life with a newborn
There is no schedule. This still drives me crazy. I like routines and patterns and knowing what's next. Now my life is full of constant unease and mystery solving: why is the baby crying this time and how do I get her to calm down?
1. TTGP-Both of my children were happy surprises, as we weren't TTGP...this time around DH will be having a vasectomy.
2. Pregnancy -I never thought 2 pregnancies could be so different for the same mama. My oldest was 2 weeks overdue and still didn't want to come out with induction. This time, I was in the hospital for 19 days trying to keep him in till 34 weeks.
3. Labor/Delivery-I had no idea a cesarean would hurt so badly. I went epidural free with my first (vaginal birth) but I didn't respond well to the spinal for my cesarean this time around and then had a lot of tissue stuck in part of my bicorniate uterus and I felt so much pain and pressure while the doc was delivering and then trying to get all the tissue out.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms- So much swelling from all the fluids they pumped me up with prior to surgery. Again, I never experienced this with my first so I wasn't expecting this.
5. Life with a newborn-I'm stuck in 2 very different developmental stages. Evenings are spent helping big sister with homework while nursing baby. I think it's really just hit me how big the age difference is.
2. Pregnancy - i did not enjoy pregnancy at all. I didnt expect to but the level i hated it surprised me.
3. Labour/delivery - that you wont have a shred of dignity left and you wont care that strangers (midwives, doctors etc) see you be sick over yourself, have to help you get to the toilet, poke about your privates. I was always a bit prudish and now not a care, everyone has seen everything.
4. Post Partum - the bleeding. The day after i had the baby i was taken to get washed & the place was like a murder scene when i came out! I was so embarressed as i couldnt even clean it up a bit & someone else had to clean up after me. Also the constipation! If i couldve got a spoon up there to scoop it out i wouldve the pain was so bad!
5. Life with a newborn - how you feel like no one can care for the baby the way you do. Dont try to do everything yourself, im not superwoman despite my best efforts. It takes a while to get into a way of going & feel like you can actually manage.
The "two week wait" is the pits. Every period had a sense of disappointment, and like a couple of previous posters I got really obsessive with it.
2. Pregnancy
Morning sickness, general discomfort, PGAL anxiety. OMG the anxiety. Sleepless nights.
3. Labor/Delivery
I got extremely lucky in this department, but reading through others' birth stories has given me a lot of perspective.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
I got very lucky as far as physical recovery goes. Lots of anxiety and it was a good week before I got more than an hour of sleep at a time, I found myself constantly checking that she was still breathing. It wasn't until I made the decision to co-sleep that we both started sleeping decently.
5. Life with a newborn:
The smell of your baby is the most intoxicating thing on the planet. I wanted to bottle up the smell of her and hoard it. Also for some reason getting puked/peed/pooped on wasn't nearly as terrible as I thought it would be.
People who say "Just relax and it will happen" deserve a good swift punch in the throat. Also, people who dismiss miscarriages at 5-6w as "chemical pregnancies" and "not really a miscarriage".
2. Pregnancy
It feels awful at the time, but when you are sitting around with a newborn who hasn't slept more than an hour in daaaays, and you see a tv show with a character in the 2nd trimester, you'll go "aaawww, I kinda miss that" - note, second trimester ONLY. The only reason I'll willingly do 1st and 3rd again is for the baby. But the second was pretty okay. Everyone smiles at pregnant ladies, and I wasn't getting the "oooh, you're so BIG" comments yet, and it didn't hurt to walk.
3. Labor/Delivery
You can tell yourself "Healthy mum, healthy babe" until the cows come home, and tell yourself you've divested yourself of expectations and are just going into it with an open mind, but you probably still have *some* picture of how it will go, and that's okay. Don't let people who scoff at birth plans convince you you have to be okay with however it goes, as long as you get a baby out of it. And then, if it doesn't go the way you hoped, it's okay to be disappointed. Trying to deny that you are might make your recovery worse than if you just confront those feelings and acknowledge them.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
The joint pain!! I know it's not a common symptom, but I've had serious joint issues PP, and no one prepared me for the fact that my worst SI pain would come after baby, not before. Super fun to have those joint pains and no sleep and a screaming newborn... I spent a lot of time googling it to get reassurance that I hadn't just broke my body.
5. Life with a newborn: Yes, the no sleep sucks, but you'll find yourself more capable of going on little snatches of sleep than you ever thought possible before baby. In November, if I got 4 hours of sleep I was utterly miserable. Now, if my husband takes him and I get 4 hours I feel like superwoman.
2. Pregnancy I didn't realize how much sleeping would suck. It was amusing that everyone who said "sleep while you still can!" was a penis-haver. I stopped sleeping through the night around month 4, what with constantly having to pee, hip pain, body temp issues.
3. Labor/Delivery My last month was such a roller coaster- they'd brought up a possible C section because of my low placenta, which ended up not being an issue. Then the baby was stubbornly breech until 37 weeks, so we scheduled a C. Eight days before, I had a scare and went in for a US, and she had flipped. We didn't cancel the C, which was good, because at my next appointment she was breech again. Then we went in for the C on 1/23 and she had flipped, so they sent us home. Two appointments later, she was breech again and they scheduled the C for the next day. I have never heard of that happening, and even the doctors were mystified. It was definitely not the worst problem to have, but thinking I was going to have that C and then being sent home was really emotionally jarring.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms So many women in my life have had Cs, so I was aware that there would be crazy pain and limited mobility. I wasn't prepared for the sheer volume of blood, and having to keep a full on bed pad in my pants for two days. I would tell anyone needing a C to get up when they tell you to just to get the feeling in your legs back, but to have your SO/family/docs/nurses hand you the baby whenever possible. I think I got up to get her more often than I should have, and I hated that I was associating that pain with taking care of her.
5. Life with a newborn Nothing can prepare you for this. It's really been amazing. I sit there during 3am feeds just whispering in her ear how much I love her. And the political climate has had a huge impact on my feelings about her future. When I found out I was having a girl, I was optimistic that she would be born during the administration of the first female president. Then the Cheeto won and my heart shattered. There is so much more at stake for her now, and I am so determined to do everything I can to repair/slow the damage that is going to be done to this country. And I will do everything I can to help her fight whatever new challenges she'll face now, simply because she is female.
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
That the two week wait is hell. Also that trying to get pregnant can make your period late and give you false hope. Man the rants I have in my journal about Mother Nature being a complete b**** and psyching me out... yeah.
2. Pregnancy
That it's not as miserable as all that in the first trimester? I mean I won't lie I got off very easy for my pregnancy so there wasn't a lot I questioned.
3. Labor/Delivery
That losing your mucus plug doesn't mean labour is imminent in the next few hours. I mean I probably misinterpreted the prenatal nurse in our classes, but when she was describing the situation I was sure that when you lose your mucus plug get ready! I called my poor husband out of work freaking out and called my midwife all concerned who informed me that it could be hours, days, or weeks(in my case it wound up being a day). Actual labour and delivery was basically as I expected it to be. I expected a fair deal of pain and I got it, I only wish I had been taught proper breathing techniques! It would have been so much better for me if I didn't basically start hyperventilating through each contraction. It was so bad I couldn't take proper pulls of the laughing gas and it was all but useless.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
How hard it is to do anything regarding going to the bathroom with all those stitches down there O.O You really take going to the bathroom for granted until after you have a baby... well, if you tear that is.
5. Life with a newborn
The broken sleep is a big one for me. I mean I knew I would be tired, just not the kind of tired one can become when waking up every couple of hours... that and getting frustrated sometimes. I feel like the worst mother alive when I feel myself getting irritated when my son cries after I've thought I've taken care of all of his needs. He's a baby, he can't help it and I can't believe I am not more understanding about it. I mean I know the lack of sleep contributes to stress and nerves, but I really find myself hating myself for thinking what I do
That I shouldn't worry unless there is something to worry about. We were so lucky and got prego our first real try. I thought being 30 and having never been pregnant before that it would take forever. I just worried myself for no reason.
2. Pregnancy
Omg. So much. That you can FEEL implantation. Like, woke me up- that is insane. How much pregnancy controls your thoughts. I literally caree about nothing except my pregnancy and this baby. I think I did nothing at work the last 6 weeks I was there and before that, I was at 65% max.
3. Labor/Delivery
I knew it would hurt. I thought I could donit without pain meds. I didn't expect how exhausting pushing would be. I had always read pushing was a relief-- not at all! I want to start doing squats now to prep for our next babe.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms
I felt like I had been in a very small car accident for a few days. Mostly from using the squat bar to push. But I recovered WAY quicker than I thought I would. But omg I'm starving all the time- thanks breastfeeding!
5. Life with a newborn
Two things: 1. How quickly you get used to always carrying a tiny human. My arms rarely get tired when I thought they would constantly. And I can pick up all kinds of things with my toes now! And 2. How much I would love maternity leave. It is an introvert's dream. I get to stay home with this tiny human I made and adore. I read books and people come in very small groups -- and they bring food! It is lovely and I hate that I have to go back to work in 6 wks. I wish I could stay home longer.
I dont mean to offend you, but there's enough silliness floating around TB without well-established members feeding the fire. Chances are you just had a bit of gas.
ETA link: https://www.thebump.com/a/what-are-implantation-cramps
I felt cramping that felt like bad period cramps. I remember because it woke me up in the middle of the night and I got upset and thought my period was starting early. I asked my midwives and they told me it was likely me feeling the implantation.
If at any point in your pregnancy the cramping becomes severe, lasts more than a couple of days or occurs after a positive pregnancy test, head straight to your doctor. It's probably just gas or the feeling of your growing uterus, but it's important to rule out miscarriage, preterm labor, placental abruption, preeclampsia, and urinary tract infections.
That is after the information talking about implantation cramps. It's not saying that the original cramping at the time of implantation is just gas or the growing uterus, it's saying that if after you test positive or at any point in your pregnancy (from BFP onward) cramps are severe that you should go to the dr. It then says that most of the time those cramps are gas or expanding uterus, but miscarriage and so on should get ruled out.
I had those cramps when I got pregnant with our oldest. I'm not trying to say you can feel the exact moment of implantation, and I don't believe that article says so either, but instead it's a symptom that can be experienced as a result of the fertilized egg, burrowing into the uterus.
Further, it's worth mentioning that implantation cramping has almost no evidence-based literature to back it up. It comes up with no results on PubMed, and the only references to it in a Google search are in forums or fluffy articles on places like TB (sorry, BGs!). There is no way to definitively prove that it even exists, as "cramping" is a subjective sensation, and its cause can only be confirmed in hindsight.
Look, I'm not here to say what anyone did or didn't experience. But let's be cautious about lending validity to ideas that are specious at best.
2. Pregnancy: I was shocked at how pregnancy affects everything. I wish I hadn't been so worried for the first two trimesters. I worked myself up into tears sure something was wrong before every appointment rather than enjoying it. By the third trimester though I relaxed some and was able to enjoy being pregnant. Though by then I was in a ton of pain with back and hips and couldn't breathe when I walked. Still overall I loved being pregnant, feeling him kick was the coolest feeling in the world. Seeing him at the 20 week U/S was also one of the coolest experiences. I didn't realize he'd already look like a baby then.
3. Labor/Delivery: Even having an open mind about what you want doesn't mean that you won't feel disappointment after. I thought that since I didn't really have a birth plan I'd be fine but my labor was really difficult and both baby and I ended up with fevers after so he was taken to the NICU pretty directly and we missed the initial skin to skin and initial breastfeeding so breastfeeding has been a struggle for us. He also ended up with an IV and needed extra blood work and stuff done because of the fevers which was so hard to watch and I really felt like I failed him.
4. Postpartum body/symptoms: I was not prepared at all for all the healing I'd need. I had an episiotomy and still tore so I was very swolen down there. I also have a lot of trouble with bleeding. It keeps getting better then I lift Ridley in his car seat and feel a gush and it's back to red and really heavy. I hate being limited by my own body and relying on DH so much for help. It's been hard but I've been trying to accept it more.
5. Life with a newborn: I knew it'd be a ton of work but I had no idea how much. It's hard when you have a kid who just wants to be held all the time and fights sleep so hard. He's also started to not be happy unless I'm dancing while holding him so he screams when I sit down. We're at almost 3 weeks and DH returns to work today. I thought I'd be vacuuming and cooking a bunch of meals and stuff by now when in reality I'm struggling to just find time to take a nap, eat, and shower. Idk how we're going to get by without DH during the day but hopefully we get into a groove.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
That most people truly don't understand just how long it can take to have a baby and what IF really entails. Waiting years can actually become a reality filled with thousands of dollars in medical testing and pokes, prods, and various medications. I didn't realize how bitter it would make me and how infertility would have lasting effects on how I view other people TTGP even now. Not going to lie, reading how some of you think 3-4 months is a long time makes me jealous, ragey and emotional. It isn't an easy road for some.
2. Pregnancy-
How much I would feel like this walking vessel protector of my baby. How I would mourn not being pregnant anymore. That insomnia is a thing during pregnancy and it really does suck. I loved being pregnant every minute and I miss it. I also didn't realize how many complications could arise....
3. Labor/Delivery-
Things can change on a dime and you can go from 0-60 in little to no time. I was sick as hell with HELLP syndrome but the moment I needed to get him out my body just knew it. I told the doc it was time and he was here 20 minutes later. It amazed
me how much my body just knew what to do and how strong I felt pushing him out even at my weakest moment of my life, laying on my death bed.
4. Postpartum-
I didn't even realize that retained placenta was a possibility. I also felt like my PP recovery wasn't as bad as I had imagined in my head.
5. Newborn-
I wish I knew how strong I would feel about missing those first few days of his life. Everything happened so fast, but not being able to be there was excruciating. I don't think that scar will ever fade. I wish I had had a support group or
therapy session while in the NICU. Not being able to hold my new baby for weeks was awful and something I truly can't see myself ever forgetting the pain of. I will say that the sleepless nights haven't been as bad as I had imagined and going through all this tough stuff TTGP, IF, and HELLP syndrome has brought me so much closer to my husband. We have a new appreciation for one another.
Married 6.22.13
Hoping for a Herd Linky
12/15--IF testing
3/16--Dx Unexplained IF
Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI + Progesterone cycle
Cancelled due to cysts. Started 3 weeks of BCP.
4/16--Cute Ute! Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI+Progesterone TI.
Cancelled-no response
5/16--Hemmorhagic cyst and other cyst discovered.
No medicated cycle. MRI scheduled to rule out
septate uterus.
6/16--Septum discovered. Consultation for surgery.
Surprise BFP 6/8/16--EDD 2/13/17
Kole David--1.7.17--Tiny but Mighty, born at 34+5 after HELLP syndrome
Chart Stalk Me