@pshaortao Maybe I am naive and lucky because my past BMB was pretty drama free from a catfishing/AE standpoint. Once we ended up on FB there was drama after a few months and some folks left and the group splintered but the subgroup of ladies I am still in a group with are very active over 2 years later and I also have met several of them.
@WombThereItIs Same. We had some drama and some ladies have left when we saw their true colors. The group eventually ended up splitting into two separate groups with an overlap. It has been great once the dust settled. Apparently its very common from what I've heard. I wouldnt be surprised if it happened to is too but this group has been by far the best at getting along!
I'll be perfectly ok with FB too because I know it's easier to interact there as well. Maybe I am naive too but my Facebook is pretty locked down and I know being part of a private group doesn't automatically give all members of that group "friend" access to my personal page. I'm part of small a private group of military spouses and some of them I am actual Facebook friends with and some I am not.
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I was going to mention our catfish, @pshaortao, but I was having a hard time with words. I think it is important that our board realize we are not immune to catfishing/AE drama. I think it's mostly done as an attention thing, but the idea of someone out there using my or my kids' identity skeeves me out. That's why I was so resistant to FB at the beginning and why I'll eventually embrace later once we've weeded out most of that. I was a major lurker in my past bmb and they survived on well past birth until the exodus. They had a FB group that formed later and there was still a huge splintering. Obvi, I couldn't join since I only lurked. I did lots of bmb lurking after birth. I do think Jan and Feb may have FB now, which may explain their slow down.
For those who have wondered about why people do this, I think it's about boredom and being unhappy in one's own life, not to mention needing attention. I thought about this a lot after I read the catfishing thread from a few years ago. People create these crazy alter egos that usually have a lot of dramatic stuff happening in them and feed off of living a different life online and also the attention they get from their drama.
Now that I've posted my theory I realize that it may raise some suspicion about how I would know that... I swear my drama and I are real!
@L1C4gal No clue. I just chalk it up to psychological issues. Several people due later than us have been made aware so they know to watch out for her. It'll be pretty obvious if she comes back with the same story. You (and any body else) can totally PM me if you want to know who!
To go off what @RainyDays86 said, I think it's a mental escape for some people. I'm totally going to reveal my nerdiness here, but when I was at a low point after my mom was in a coma, I escaped to online gaming. It was basically my life for like 2 years and gave me a big sense of all the things I was missing in my own life; community, accomplishment, fun, etc. I could definitely see how it might be the same way for someone creating an alter ego in real life to make a life they wish they had.
I just want to say thank you to the women who watch out for others. I had no idea we had a bad egg and so thank you to those who caught that and weeded her out. I am also thankful for this group, we have so many amazing people who share their wisdom. Stepping off the soapbox now.
@starphish18 I hope you enjoyed your bday celebration minus the discomfort! Have a better day! And yes, I would imagine a cookie makes any morning better YUMM
@mrsrep123 Sending you lots of energy and strength, you go girl!!
@RainyDays86@pshaortao@starphish18 Thanks for the explanations. That makes sense. And I second the shout-out to those who are watching out for all of us!
I've been mostly lurking and love-titting the last few days because life's been busy. My mom is in town now watching our kids while DH and I are on our babymoon/weekend getaway in the mountains.
I just went through the AE thread and that woman has some serious issues. Also, how nice that someone called us her favorite month board to lurk even though we have pretty much zero drama.
@SJsMommy - Congrats on your girls! Hope they continue to do well and grow stronger!
@starphish18 - I don't know what exact day your birthday falls on but happy 30th!
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
So glad to finally have this cleared up! I have been wondering and wondering. Then @L1C4gal said she figured it out and I was hoping she'd explain it to us! Hahaha thanks for asking @kayemjay2
Lol so I figured out a big ago what AE stands for, but for the longest time, I kept thinking "alternate entity." Which is so unnecessarily complicated!
I also had no idea ! I think once it was discovered someone should have made it a bigger deal and gave her a hassle on here to make her sweat a little bit... or maybe I just missed it?
Holy moly i feel clueless! I had no clue we had a catfish... Im with @starphish18, so curious! Someone please pm me too... I want the details!
Also...ive felt very periody today... Like tons of pressure and just general yucky feeling pkus i feel like i need to poop but i dont actually have to. Is this just normal when babies sit LOW? Dd sat so high that i never had issues down low.
@kayemjay2 and @rkstro2 I'm sorry I said that I figured it out and then didn't say what it was! I wasn't thinking. Although subconsciously I probably thought I was the only one who didn't know because I'm usually not "with it" on stuff like that, and I assume that everyone else is!
I don't find the detective work creepy at all. I figure if I put that much info about myself online, I expect that at some point someone may try to use that info in some way.
I'm glad there are people out there more savvy than me to weed out the AEs and catfish before we all get more personal with FB info. Because while some may just be doing it for attention, I don't want to increase my risk they're stealing my personal info and using it for something more nefarious. I get that I'll never be 100% safe if I don't know and trust you IRL. It's just more comforting to know that they may be caught before it gets that far.
Anyways, back to my freezer meal cooking spree. Hope everyone is having a nice day!
I've been busy with work this morning (the nerve of my boss expecting real work out of me for my paycheck!), so just catching up. I have a feeling I know who our "bad egg" was but not because I did any real sleuthing so I could be totally wrong. In any case, thanks to those of you that went the extra mile and booted her before we got further along!!
I am not a super private person, but I don't like being lied to and a I don't like a lot of drama (I like to observe the drama from afar, but I'm not a fan of being involved in it). I really only lurked on my first BMB because I wasn't sure about the quality and authenticity of the group. I was actually happy that there was an early FB group formed here because I was pretty sure that if there was drama, if would herd in that direction. I wish no ill will on that early FB group, of course, and hope it's as drama free and fabulous as our BMB is! I will be sad if this board ramps down too much...maternity leave is lonely and it's nice to have some solidarity when dealing with the inevitable newborn baby drama.
@SJsMommy - CONGRATS! Glad to hear your girls are doing well.
I'll probably still bump post baby. I'm on FB all day for work and have grown to hate it. It can be a tad too revealing. Plus I'll be a WAHM, so I'm going to need some support to keep from going crazy.
Holy Moly...I had NO idea people actually did that sort of thing. I read the July AE post and just kept thinking "this can't be real"
Add me to the list of people that had NO idea what AE stood for. I must confess I have done A LOT of googling (I mean seriously FFFC?!?! had no clue either) since this BMB is my first foray into being active on an online community. I haven't even figured out how to add those cool little things at the end of my posts
Random - I might have lashed out at a stranger yesterday...I was at Starbucks with some co-workers/friends and I ordered an iced decaf coffee (because YUM) and as we are walking out a lady stops and says "you know, you shouldn't really drink caffeine when pregnant" to which I replied "Wow, that is quite impressive that you have x-ray vision and can see what kind of coffee I'm drinking" Now this is interesting because I don't usually do that - non-pregnant me would have just smiled and kept walking. My friends jaws were on the floor. It was quite funny.
I wanted to chime in regarding our "catfish" as I am in the Facebook group as well. She definitely made more "waves" over there. She posted here about her loss and we all offered support and she fell off the face of the bump. However, people offered support obviously but she continued to post in her actual profile, not the group about her continued pregnancy. This came out to the group as a whole and it was quite unfortunate as we had later losses including a loss after 20 weeks. I think the worst part about it all was that we offered support and prayers for someone who had made it up. I am super thankful for those that did some "digging" into her story, and even messaged her on Facebook to try to find out the truth because she could have come back and done more damage to many of us.
As for why people do this, I honestly think there are underlying mental health needs. I truly feel sorry for her and her loved ones, as she obviously is struggling.
I am so happy we are mostly sunshine and rainbows here on May 17, because as much as I love reading snark and drama, I hate being involved.
I am not a super private person, but I don't like being lied to and a I don't like a lot of drama (I like to observe the drama from afar, but I'm not a fan of being involved in it). I really only lurked on my first BMB because I wasn't sure about the quality and authenticity of the group. I was actually happy that there was an early FB group formed here because I was pretty sure that if there was drama, if would herd in that direction. I wish no ill will on that early FB group, of course, and hope it's as drama free and fabulous as our BMB is! I will be sad if this board ramps down too much...maternity leave is lonely and it's nice to have some solidarity when dealing with the inevitable newborn baby drama.
This is exactly how I feel too. I only really lurked on my first BMB and once the mass exodus happened, I regretted it because I felt left behind and missed the group during the newborn phase.
I agree @kipperoo! I hope our BMB stays active, too once we are all on maternity leave! I'm sure it won't be nearly as active, but I know I'll probably have a million and one questions once little man is here, plus I'll want to share with you all! Its been so nice having a community to go to and share experiences, thoughts, and ask questions!
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
@rosemarylaff - I think that lady had it coming. As if there aren't enough people telling pregnant women (and mothers) what they should/should not do. I'd have been tempted to say "Oh, it's decaf, but I got an extra shot of Bailey's...that's fine, right?"
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
Feeding a baby every 2 hours can get super tedious, so I know I'll be using some of that time to continue bumping! I remember last time how helpful it was as a FTM to have some BTDT moms to discuss all the baby stuff with once they get here.
@rosemarylaff I've just been waiting for someone to say something to me. I've been getting a Dunk decaf several times a week. I would get regular caff (1-2 times a week) if it didn't make me feel sick. Anyways, I just know someone is going to say something and I really want to snark it to them.
Here's a random. Does baby's schedule in utero end up being anything like their schedule once they're born? This baby definitely has it's active awake times. To the point that I can know what time it is based on their movement.
I remember a lot of bumping during those middle of the night feeds in my previous BMBs. There is always someone else up at the same time. I hope the board stays somewhat active after all the babies are here.
Here's a random. Does baby's schedule in utero end up being anything like their schedule once they're born? This baby definitely has it's active awake times. To the point that I can know what time it is based on their movement.
@nda_roxybabe I was wondering the same thing yesterday! Curious to know...
Here's a random. Does baby's schedule in utero end up being anything like their schedule once they're born? This baby definitely has it's active awake times. To the point that I can know what time it is based on their movement.
@nda_roxybabe I was wondering the same thing yesterday! Curious to know...
Re: Randoms and Questions 3.13 - 3.17
May '17 labor memes
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
For those who have wondered about why people do this, I think it's about boredom and being unhappy in one's own life, not to mention needing attention. I thought about this a lot after I read the catfishing thread from a few years ago. People create these crazy alter egos that usually have a lot of dramatic stuff happening in them and feed off of living a different life online and also the attention they get from their drama.
Now that I've posted my theory I realize that it may raise some suspicion about how I would know that... I swear my drama and I are real!
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
@starphish18 I hope you enjoyed your bday celebration minus the discomfort! Have a better day! And yes, I would imagine a cookie makes any morning better YUMM
@mrsrep123 Sending you lots of energy and strength, you go girl!!
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
I just went through the AE thread and that woman has some serious issues. Also, how nice that someone called us her favorite month board to lurk even though we have pretty much zero drama.
@SJsMommy - Congrats on your girls! Hope they continue to do well and grow stronger!
@starphish18 - I don't know what exact day your birthday falls on but happy 30th!
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
https://www.thebump.com/community-glossary
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Also...ive felt very periody today... Like tons of pressure and just general yucky feeling pkus i feel like i need to poop but i dont actually have to. Is this just normal when babies sit LOW? Dd sat so high that i never had issues down low.
I'm glad there are people out there more savvy than me to weed out the AEs and catfish before we all get more personal with FB info. Because while some may just be doing it for attention, I don't want to increase my risk they're stealing my personal info and using it for something more nefarious. I get that I'll never be 100% safe if I don't know and trust you IRL. It's just more comforting to know that they may be caught before it gets that far.
Anyways, back to my freezer meal cooking spree. Hope everyone is having a nice day!
I am not a super private person, but I don't like being lied to and a I don't like a lot of drama (I like to observe the drama from afar, but I'm not a fan of being involved in it). I really only lurked on my first BMB because I wasn't sure about the quality and authenticity of the group. I was actually happy that there was an early FB group formed here because I was pretty sure that if there was drama, if would herd in that direction. I wish no ill will on that early FB group, of course, and hope it's as drama free and fabulous as our BMB is! I will be sad if this board ramps down too much...maternity leave is lonely and it's nice to have some solidarity when dealing with the inevitable newborn baby drama.
@SJsMommy - CONGRATS! Glad to hear your girls are doing well.
I'll probably still bump post baby. I'm on FB all day for work and have grown to hate it. It can be a tad too revealing. Plus I'll be a WAHM, so I'm going to need some support to keep from going crazy.
Add me to the list of people that had NO idea what AE stood for. I must confess I have done A LOT of googling (I mean seriously FFFC?!?! had no clue either) since this BMB is my first foray into being active on an online community. I haven't even figured out how to add those cool little things at the end of my posts
Random - I might have lashed out at a stranger yesterday...I was at Starbucks with some co-workers/friends and I ordered an iced decaf coffee (because YUM) and as we are walking out a lady stops and says "you know, you shouldn't really drink caffeine when pregnant" to which I replied "Wow, that is quite impressive that you have x-ray vision and can see what kind of coffee I'm drinking" Now this is interesting because I don't usually do that - non-pregnant me would have just smiled and kept walking. My friends jaws were on the floor. It was quite funny.
I am super thankful for those that did some "digging" into her story, and even messaged her on Facebook to try to find out the truth because she could have come back and done more damage to many of us.
As for why people do this, I honestly think there are underlying mental health needs. I truly feel sorry for her and her loved ones, as she obviously is struggling.
I am so happy we are mostly sunshine and rainbows here on May 17, because as much as I love reading snark and drama, I hate being involved.
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD