@GlitterFish Oh man, this board is considered dead? I can barely keep up as it is. I missed the whole CarsonsMommy craziness and have no idea what went down.
Now DST has made the time difference even bigger! I would definitely be one of the people called out in May 17 for my drive-by/late to the game posts.
I was definitely all for a private board but I think @GlitterFish and @Rae1 make very valid points I hadn't thought about.
BFP May 2013 - MMC at 8 weeks BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015 BFP November 2016 - pending...
I would rather not see a private bump group (don't even know how this really works) or FB group just yet either, for two reasons:
First, personally I read basically everything that comes up on the board and post occasionally. I could post more, but it would often be redundant to what another poster has already contributed. I try to add something when I think what I have to say is helpful or useful in some way. So I wonder if I am regular "enough" to make the cut into a smaller group. It seems like other people have had similar concerns when it's come up.
Secondly, I have been a part of my January 2016 group from the start. Honestly it wasn't until after the babies were born and things settled down a bit that the long-term group emerged. Even former regulars, leaders of the board, disappeared (understandably, with babies and work and lives!). It just seems too soon to decide who will ultimately be a valuable member of the group.
I am seriously impressed that you found her on FB. When you mentioned FB pictures before I assumed someone knew her from her previous BMB or something. But holy crap to hunting her down from random pieces of info on TB.
There was a post where her name was on a screenshot.
Ooooooh..... this makes it slightly less impressive. LOL
I am 50/50 on a private board. I mean, we didn't really realize carsonsmommy was crazy until she went crazy lol. Had we been on a private group before, she probably would have been included. So it's not like we can really weed that out without just continuing to get to know each other.
Really though??? Even with the fish and pork?? I can't believe she lasted as long as she did!
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
I think a private TB group is a good first-step if we ever plan to make a FB group in the future. It's a good way to test the waters without releasing too much private info, and if someone goes crazy they can be removed. And if someone wants in, everyone can chime in with a yay or nay. In my experience, when you move to FB people come out of the woodwork wanting to be in the FB group, and it's really hard for the FB admin to make the determination about who should be in or not. But if we're all in a private board first, the group can elect admins and narrow down who will be included in the FB group before that move happens.
I think a private TB group is a good first-step if we ever plan to make a FB group in the future. It's a good way to test the waters without releasing too much private info, and if someone goes crazy they can be removed. And if someone wants in, everyone can chime in with a yay or nay. In my experience, when you move to FB people come out of the woodwork wanting to be in the FB group, and it's really hard for the FB admin to make the determination about who should be in or not. But if we're all in a private board first, the group can elect admins and narrow down who will be included in the FB group before that move happens.
@AdaByron - Good point. We could also have an Excel sheet with a list of who we voted no to in the group. I can be in charge of that if a group is made
Me:28 | DH: 28 Married: 07-2014 TTC #1: Since November 2015 Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016 due to previous issues. ***TW*** BFP: 11/4/2016 *TW*
I am 50/50 on a private board. I mean, we didn't really realize carsonsmommy was crazy until she went crazy lol. Had we been on a private group before, she probably would have been included. So it's not like we can really weed that out without just continuing to get to know each other.
Really though??? Even with the fish and pork?? I can't believe she lasted as long as she did!
My thoughts exactly. I thought she was nuts from day one.
Like I said, I was just throwing the private group out for discussion once again. It was vaguely touched on a couple weeks ago. I am a first time bump user (joined after my BFP in late October) so I give a lot of deference to the ladies that have been through this before and know the general climate of things as our pregnancies progress and our babies are born. Either way, I still want to be a part of the group. I just hope that this doesn't damper willingness to share and interact, especially on sensitive topics.
I am 50/50 on a private board. I mean, we didn't really realize carsonsmommy was crazy until she went crazy lol. Had we been on a private group before, she probably would have been included. So it's not like we can really weed that out without just continuing to get to know each other.
Really though??? Even with the fish and pork?? I can't believe she lasted as long as she did!
True lol but she was a "contributing member" even if we didn't really like her lol I mean, if we did a private group, who would determine who gets in? Just still seems early to exclude anyone IMHO.
I'm with @Rae1 with not knowing she was crazy until she went crazy. I thought she was eccentric and a little out there, but there's maybe one or two others that I see the same way minus the repeat episodes of kooky.
yep that's where I got her name. Also went back through posts and found her hometown to make sure I had the right person. Not too impressive I know. Shouldn't have made it seem like it. I'm just glad what I did helped bring out the identity of the AE's.
RE private groups. I think they are a good idea. In my June '12 bmb we actually had a big thing happen AFTER the babies were born. Which made me glad I hadn't joined the FB group(that the crazy was a part of). Just to say even after the babies come the crazies are still being weeded out. So having the private group but not giving so much personal information is a good thing.
I have mixed feelings on private groups, for a selfish reason: I'm not sure I'm considered enough of a regular to make the cut. But in general it seems like a good idea.
What @AdaByron said. If anyone goes crazy in a private group, they can get booted right? And then they theoretically couldn't get back in. After 4+ (5??) months, I think we know who's participates and who doesn't, even for those who don't post as much.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I am 50/50 on a private board. I mean, we didn't really realize carsonsmommy was crazy until she went crazy lol. Had we been on a private group before, she probably would have been included. So it's not like we can really weed that out without just continuing to get to know each other.
Really though??? Even with the fish and pork?? I can't believe she lasted as long as she did!
True lol but she was a "contributing member" even if we didn't really like her lol I mean, if we did a private group, who would determine who gets in? Just still seems early to exclude anyone IMHO.
The ones who have started drama are excluded. IMO. That would be the ones who called names and left, the ones who made AE's after creating a shitstorm, people like that.
I'm all for a private group on TB but still not 100% on a Facebook group. I only use FB for communicating enmass to family and friends. My profile is on lock down and I use the block feature A LOT. There are just some things that I'm not comfortable sharing with everyone. Maybe, as time goes on I'd feel differently about it, but considering this thread, I'm hesitant.
Yeah even if I join (am allowed into) the private group I'll never make the move to FB. I don't know if you guys would be comfortable with someone who has no intention of getting that personal joining though
BFP May 2013 - MMC at 8 weeks BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015 BFP November 2016 - pending...
I agree with a private group well before a FB group. My social media is linked heavily to my work profiles and I'd be hesitant to get a FB account with that information involved at this point. The only hesitation I have with a private group is I really hope we would include all semi-frequent posters. I'm having gym class dodgeball team flashbacks... I sucked at gym class.
The PG could have sort of "rolling admission." So like if it gets created tomorrow, we could say anyone with XXX number of posts who has never caused drama can join. A core group gets in. If there's anyone who is questionable on the "has never caused drama" point, that core group can discuss and decide if they should be in or not. A month from now if someone says "I was a latecomer, but now I have XXX posts, and I'd like to join" they can be admitted.
On the contrary, I feel like when a FB group forms, there should not be stragglers joining months later.
Yeah even if I join (am allowed into) the private group I'll never make the move to FB. I don't know if you guys would be comfortable with someone who has no intention of getting that personal joining though
Eh. You're not the only one I'm sure. I got burned a little with my last BMB after we made the transition to FB. We have a much smaller group of about 25-30 people now that is much better. I don't know if I'll actually join a FB group this time or not though.
Personally - when the time comes for facebook, I will want it to be much smaller. Like 30 people or less. I mean, maybe by the time we get there, there will only be that many people who are super active and it will be fine. But I am already concerned haha.
On my previous BMB we had some shit go down after the babies were born also. And there was always someone who said "she shouldn't have even joined in the first place, I don't even recognize her from TB" or "I knew she was nuts from the first week when she said _______ I just didn't want to be mean and say anything!" So I just feel like we need a way to work out those kinks before we move to FB. If we start a PG, the majority of the activity would still be on the main board.
On my previous BMB we had some shit go down after the babies were born also. And there was always someone who said "she shouldn't have even joined in the first place, I don't even recognize her from TB" or "I knew she was nuts from the first week when she said _______ I just didn't want to be mean and say anything!" So I just feel like we need a way to work out those kinks before we move to FB. If we start a PG, the majority of the activity would still be on the main board.
How do people have so much time on their hands to put that much energy into conning strangers on a mom board? It's sad, and she sounds like she may need some mental health help herself.
I was thinking this same thing.
I'm not as active on here. TB made it hard to mobile bump for awhile, but I'm trying a little bit harder. So I'm open to a private group. I don't know how many posts I have though.
Me (K)-27 DH (T)-30 2 Rainbow DDs L-10/26/10 and A-03/27/14 2 Angels- 10/26/09 and 02/03/15 Surprise BFP on 10/25/16!!! Baby Firecracker is due on 07/02/17!
I've been reading the posts / comments here related to the PG. I am agreeing more and more with a PG after various opinions / points were made and feel it is a good stepping stone to a FB group (if we end up that route). Since it seems like a lotof us are either for or indifferent to a PG, I started one. Hope no one objects to me starting it. I think I can always delete it if so.
I'm 100% guilty of lurking and not contributing as much as I should. I just want to say that I'm impressed by how you all have handled all of these crazies lately.
Me: 36 DH: 40 Together since 2007 |Married June 2013
TTC #1: June 2015
BFP: 11/9/16 | EDD: 7/22/17
DD born 7/16/17
TTC #2: December 2018 BFP: 2/26/19 | EDD: 11/7/19 DS born 11/3/19
@klstone25 The thing is I would totally side eye your lurking except I won't ever forget your smiling uterus signature LOL so I actually recognize your posts however infrequent.
@maybeitsmadeline It's okay. I totally deserved to be side-eyed. LOL
eta: I was active on here at the beginning. But as more of the crazies kept occurring, I retreated back to a private group that I'm in. I am going make an effort to contribute here more. I do recognize a few names from my TTGP days, so I hope they know I'm not crazy.
I will say that for those of you considering a private group, it can work very well. It's all about how you self moderate and the structure you set up.
Me: 36 DH: 40 Together since 2007 |Married June 2013
TTC #1: June 2015
BFP: 11/9/16 | EDD: 7/22/17
DD born 7/16/17
TTC #2: December 2018 BFP: 2/26/19 | EDD: 11/7/19 DS born 11/3/19
I've mentioned before that I find lurkers to be a little creepy (particularly those who don't have a reason to lurk here, other than to see what drama we're up to). Also, when I was working on trying to weed out the non-active people on the spreadsheet, there were some people who were "active" but only had like 2 posts (if any)...that weirds me out. In that respect, I totally like the idea of a private board. I get what a few posters are saying about who would get let in, and I am sooooo against a "you can't sit with us" vibe, but I hate the drama. I think that @GlitterFish raises a good point about the board not being very active (especially on weekends), but I'm not sure that drive-by drama is my idea of "active," either.
I've been reading the posts / comments here related to the PG. I am agreeing more and more with a PG after various opinions / points were made and feel it is a good stepping stone to a FB group (if we end up that route). Since it seems like a lotof us are either for or indifferent to a PG, I started one. Hope no one objects to me starting it. I think I can always delete it if so.
On my previous BMB we had some shit go down after the babies were born also. And there was always someone who said "she shouldn't have even joined in the first place, I don't even recognize her from TB" or "I knew she was nuts from the first week when she said _______ I just didn't want to be mean and say anything!" So I just feel like we need a way to work out those kinks before we move to FB. If we start a PG, the majority of the activity would still be on the main board.
so what would be on the PG?
Any discussion of a FB group would happen there, and drama-is topics that might get warnings otherwise, anything you're not so comfortable with having on the public board like personal photos, or a vent about work. But I think pregnancy topics should stay on the main board to remain accessible to people who want to participate but just don't have the post count yet.
BFP May 2013 - MMC at 8 weeks BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015 BFP November 2016 - pending...
Re: AE's
Now DST has made the time difference even bigger! I would definitely be one of the people called out in May 17 for my drive-by/late to the game posts.
BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks
BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks
BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks
BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015
BFP November 2016 - pending...
First, personally I read basically everything that comes up on the board and post occasionally. I could post more, but it would often be redundant to what another poster has already contributed. I try to add something when I think what I have to say is helpful or useful in some way. So I wonder if I am regular "enough" to make the cut into a smaller group. It seems like other people have had similar concerns when it's come up.
Secondly, I have been a part of my January 2016 group from the start. Honestly it wasn't until after the babies were born and things settled down a bit that the long-term group emerged. Even former regulars, leaders of the board, disappeared (understandably, with babies and work and lives!). It just seems too soon to decide who will ultimately be a valuable member of the group.
That's just my two cents. Take it or leave it!
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
Edit. Spelling.
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
Also, August 17 also has one apparently.
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
Like I said, I was just throwing the private group out for discussion once again. It was vaguely touched on a couple weeks ago. I am a first time bump user (joined after my BFP in late October) so I give a lot of deference to the ladies that have been through this before and know the general climate of things as our pregnancies progress and our babies are born. Either way, I still want to be a part of the group. I just hope that this doesn't damper willingness to share and interact, especially on sensitive topics.
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
RE private groups. I think they are a good idea. In my June '12 bmb we actually had a big thing happen AFTER the babies were born. Which made me glad I hadn't joined the FB group(that the crazy was a part of). Just to say even after the babies come the crazies are still being weeded out. So having the private group but not giving so much personal information is a good thing.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
Married: 6/2016
TTC:6/2016
BFP: 11/22/2016 | EDD: 7/29/2017
BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks
BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks
BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks
BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015
BFP November 2016 - pending...
Holy crap.
On the contrary, I feel like when a FB group forms, there should not be stragglers joining months later.
I'm not as active on here. TB made it hard to mobile bump for awhile, but I'm trying a little bit harder. So I'm open to a private group. I don't know how many posts I have though.
Me (K)-27 DH (T)-30
2 Rainbow DDs L-10/26/10 and A-03/27/14
2 Angels- 10/26/09 and 02/03/15
Surprise BFP on 10/25/16!!! Baby Firecracker is due on 07/02/17!
It is titled July 2017 Moms
@AdaByron @MrsLa3 @maybeitsmadeline and whomever else I forgot to tag
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
Excellent sleuthing @michelle04us
I'm 100% guilty of lurking and not contributing as much as I should. I just want to say that I'm impressed by how you all have handled all of these crazies lately.
Together since 2007 | Married June 2013
TTC #1: June 2015
TTC #2: December 2018
BFP: 2/26/19 | EDD: 11/7/19
TTC #3: January 2024
Mirena out 1/23/24
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
eta: I was active on here at the beginning. But as more of the crazies kept occurring, I retreated back to a private group that I'm in. I am going make an effort to contribute here more. I do recognize a few names from my TTGP days, so I hope they know I'm not crazy.
I will say that for those of you considering a private group, it can work very well. It's all about how you self moderate and the structure you set up.
Together since 2007 | Married June 2013
TTC #1: June 2015
TTC #2: December 2018
BFP: 2/26/19 | EDD: 11/7/19
TTC #3: January 2024
Mirena out 1/23/24
I've mentioned before that I find lurkers to be a little creepy (particularly those who don't have a reason to lurk here, other than to see what drama we're up to). Also, when I was working on trying to weed out the non-active people on the spreadsheet, there were some people who were "active" but only had like 2 posts (if any)...that weirds me out. In that respect, I totally like the idea of a private board. I get what a few posters are saying about who would get let in, and I am sooooo against a "you can't sit with us" vibe, but I hate the drama. I think that @GlitterFish raises a good point about the board not being very active (especially on weekends), but I'm not sure that drive-by drama is my idea of "active," either.
BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks
BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks
BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks
BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015
BFP November 2016 - pending...