Is it bad that I love Charles Henry and Anthony Joseph? Lol! Seriously you can't go wrong with either Henry or Charles, they are both strong names. When my son was born, we had two names picked out; after he made his entrance, it was really obvious that one fit him more than the other. Maybe you can keep both names in contention?
Haha! Of course! Thanks for your input. The middle names (if we have a boy) will be after my husbands grandfathers. Our other 2 kiddies have middle names from my side. So Joseph and Anthony are it. Which I'm happy about. My husband no longer has grandparents so I think it would be really special. Anyways..... thinking it will be a game time decision.
I have a Henry, so obviously that's my vote, but Charles ("Charlie") made our list as well. Henry is definitely "trendy" right now, though, so I don't know if that factors into your decision. Both great names!
Thanks! The trendy/popular/traditional names are what we are looking for. I'm a little bit more open to more non-traditional names but my hubbs is pretty set on common names. Thanks for your reply!
Update: my SIL is pregnant!!! We couldn't be happier as it was a long 6 months for them. they are due with baby#2 in October! The downside? We still haven't agreed on our name for a baby and I'm due in 3 weeks. My SIL will find out the sex but not until she's 12 weeks. We are so happy for them but now feel even more awkward about this name decision. What would you do? Help!
* we like Henry for a boy and will keep Charlotte for a girl. My husband isn't a fan of Henry. I feel terrible for making him cave on a name he doesn't truly love.
How does her pregnancy affect your name choice? Does she hope to name hers with one of those names so you feel like you have a time limit to decide? Also don't feel bad about your hubs- he will grow to like the name!
I'm sorry I realized I posted this without the back story:
Hi ladies! I posted a while back about my SIL asking us to pick 2 new baby names as it is the same name we like for a boy or girl. They only like the name for a boy (name is Charlie). When she asked us this back in December they weren't pregnant. We just found out she is expecting! We couldn't be happier as it took them 6 months. Which made it awkward for a bit. But so thrilled I will have another niece/nephew and my kids will have another cousin.
My husband and I were disappointed with my SIL's request but agreed to find another name. We've desperately been trying but can't agree on another name for our baby.
what do we do?!?! We are so happy for them but now feel really terrible about this name situation. They will find out the sex but not till 12 weeks. I'm due in 3. The only reason why we shared our baby name was bc she pretty much called dibs on it for a boy only when we announced our pregnancy. Help!
Okay so she likes Charlie and now you guys have to pick another name? Hope that's right. It seems kinda rude to make you guys pick another name and to "call dibs" on a name, when you were pregnant first, but I also understand and support letting her have it because they have struggled conceiving which is quite nice of you and your hubs. Have you picked any other names besides Henry as alternatives?
I think at this point I would pick another name. No, you aren't required to, she doesnt own the name. But it's clearly going to harm your relationship, especially now that she is actually pregnant. I would let it go for the sake of the relationship.
@littlefriend214 man! The only name you can agree on is unavailable guess you'll just have to pick and let it grow on your husband! I personally like Theodore and Leo for a boy, Charlotte for a girl is beautiful and gives you the nickname of Charlie without hurting SIL's feelings since her kid would technically have the actual name. Sienna is also really pretty!
Thanks for the positive feedback on our name choices. I'm not sure what to do bc I know they will be bummed. I'm just SO glad they are pregnant. I think this would be very difficult if they werent
I think at this point I would pick another name. No, you aren't required to, she doesnt own the name. But it's clearly going to harm your relationship, especially now that she is actually pregnant. I would let it go for the sake of the relationship.
Why does she have to be one to let it go and pick another name though?
Honestly, you're having the baby first. If you decided on the name first, you have every right to use it. That's just my opinion though.
We have had this same situation come up with some close friends of ours but we all agreed that whoever got pregnant and had a boy first could have the name. There is no guarantee that they will have a boy and you will definitely be delivering first so you should get to use the name. Although I am also partial to the name Siena
@lindsey61811 She doesn't have to. But she's been worried enough about it that it's obviously a big enough deal to the SIL that if she uses it after telling her she wouldn't it's going to cause problems. If I remember correctly they have already talked about it and she originally said she wouldn't use the name. I am saying if it were me I wouldn't risk a relationship over it. But, if it's important enough to you then do it. Just realize its not going to go over well. You can either use the name and she will be pissed or she gets it and you will be disappointed. There's really no good way for it to end I like your other name choices @littlefriend214.
Thanks kap1988. I do appreciate your perspective as that is what has been weighing on my heart and mind for months. I just don't want to sacrifice my feelings for someone who wouldn't do the same for me. That's what I'm afraid of. If the situation were reversed I think they would use it and not think twice about it.
I'd personally go with Siena if you have a little girl. I wouldn't play the "I don't think she'd do it for me" game. Just my personal opinion--but I like to stick to the "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" game instead. Keep a clear and positive outlook and remove the stress and drama from the naming of your little one from here on out!
Thanks kjd291. I see your point. And I wish in this case I could be the bigger person. I feel I've always been in most cases. I just don't think her pregnancy is more important than mine and vice versa. Nobody's feelings are more important. Reality is we are delivering first and don't have a name for our baby. So this, as unfortunate as it is, is the solution.
I feel like your baby's name is Charlotte if she's a girl or Henry if he's a boy. And their baby will be Charles if it's a boy or something different if it's a girl.
There's only a 25% chance there will be a conflict (2 Charlie's) and it's really OK to have 2 Charlie's in a family. Especially when you can say Charlotte/Charles when the cousins are together to avoid confusion.
We have cousins and uncles in our family all named Michael (4 total!) So we use different nicknames when we are all together and everyone is happy with it. Mikey, Mike, baby Michael, etc. I think it will work out with you guys too if you choose to go that route.
Thanks cbeanz! I totally agree. We are ok with 2 Charlie's! I just don't think she is. Which is something she may have to accept. I would never tell her there can't be 2 Charlie's. So I feel it was so unfair to say that. Hopefully she takes it better than expected.
Update: broke the news last night to my brother and SIL about naming our baby Charlie. My brother and I had a rational 25 minute conversation. Although, disappointed he understood. My SIL told me she had nothing to say to me and told me she had to go. I was able to tell her how I feel and got it all off my chest. I'm sad she's hurt as that wasn't my intention but glad my husband and I can finally enjoy the last few few weeks of my pregnancy (I'm due in 2 weeks).
I know this will hurt them for some time now but we felt it was unfair to ask us to pick 2 new baby names. I'm glad we were honest with them about it. It's a crappy situation but at the end of the day I'm so glad she's pregnant and pray for a healthy baby for us and them. Thank you ladies for your honesty, encouragement and replies as it helped me put this situation in perspective. Wishing you all the best!
She will just have to get over it. I understand names are important but if she really loves the name, she can name her baby that too. I had a situation, where my sister actually knew we wanted the name Christopher if we had a boy. However, we were not pregnant and she was. She had a boy first and his name is Christopher. She loved the name too. It was sad, but I am not going to hate her for it. If we have a boy next, who knows if we will continue with the love we have for the name Christopher, we still have other names we love like Benjamin and Luke. It is was it is and she will get over it
Thanks for your perspective and I'm sorry you didn't get to name your baby Christopher ( I also wanted christopher that's my husbands name). I hope you do choose to name your baby whatever you LOVE bc that's all that matters.
Yes thank you! I didn't expect to go well but I'm hoping she'll come around the next few weeks. They leave for Disney next week so I wanted to give them time before we deliver, hoping by then she'll come around and at least want to meet our baby. If not, then she's got some deeper issues. I'm just glad my hubbs and I can finally enjoy the last 13 days!!
Re: Baby name
BFP #3 on 7/23/16 EDD 3/30/16
baby #4 due March '17!
* we like Henry for a boy and will keep Charlotte for a girl. My husband isn't a fan of Henry. I feel terrible for making him cave on a name he doesn't truly love.
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
Why does she have to be one to let it go and pick another name though?
Honestly, you're having the baby first. If you decided on the name first, you have every right to use it. That's just my opinion though.
Mama to 2 girls - H&I
Although I am also partial to the name Siena
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
I wouldn't play the "I don't think she'd do it for me" game. Just my personal opinion--but I like to stick to the "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" game instead. Keep a clear and positive outlook and remove the stress and drama from the naming of your little one from here on out!
There's only a 25% chance there will be a conflict (2 Charlie's) and it's really OK to have 2 Charlie's in a family. Especially when you can say Charlotte/Charles when the cousins are together to avoid confusion.
We have cousins and uncles in our family all named Michael (4 total!) So we use different nicknames when we are all together and everyone is happy with it. Mikey, Mike, baby Michael, etc. I think it will work out with you guys too if you choose to go that route.
I know this will hurt them for some time now but we felt it was unfair to ask us to pick 2 new baby names. I'm glad we were honest with them about it. It's a crappy situation but at the end of the day I'm so glad she's pregnant and pray for a healthy baby for us and them. Thank you ladies for your honesty, encouragement and replies as it helped me put this situation in perspective. Wishing you all the best!