Perinatal Depression/Anxiety

biglauryo · March 2017

Is anybody experiencing depression/anxiety while pregnant? I had a wonderful pregnancy and postpartum with my first child, but am having a lot of issues the second time around. The nausea and fatigue are not helping; I'm 14 weeks and it hasn't gone away yet. I started seeing a therapist yesterday who specializes in perinatal and postpartum depression and am very hopeful that this is going to help. It would be comforting to hear from anyone else who has gone through or is currently going through this!

labby18 · March 2017

I went through a bit of this during my 1st trimester, but I attribute it more to being alone while DH was away on training. I've suffered from depression/anxiety disorder in the past, so I know the struggle. I am glad you have felt confident enough to seek a therapist.

HollyGolightly09 · March 2017

I've been having a lot of anxiety the past week or so. I do have generalized anxiety anyway, and went off my medication when I got pregnant, so I know that is a big part of it. Being pregnant definitely makes it more difficult to deal with, though... there's more to be anxious about, plus you can't really take anything that will help immediately.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Hopefully the therapist will help. Maybe you will start feeling better physically soon, and that should help some, too. My nausea has gotten a lot better, but when it was so terrible I definitely started feeling depressed some days.

Breath_Easy92 · March 2017

Totally about to vent right now but I'm having a rough day:

I've always had anxiety and it was very under control and well managed but since being pregnant it has morphed into uncontrollable depression. I've always wanted a baby since I can remember and now I just don't care about anything and I cry all the time . It makes me feel guilty because I haven't been excited and I feel like I'm always faking being thrilled about everything. I feel terrible that when I look at the boy clothes while shopping I don't think they're cute and I end up in the girl section, I don't feel connected to the baby, and everyone is so excited about baby showers and decorating the baby's room and I just don't care. I constantly feel like something is wrong or wonder if he is okay in there. I worry about every little thing and all I want to do is sleep. I'd love to go to therapy but I go to school Monday though Friday and work Saturday and Sunday. Plus we don't have the money, we are okay but there's no extra money and my husband already works 60+ hours a week. I really just want to sleep. I really want him but st the same time I feel so disconnected from my pregnancy that I don't even feel like it's me anymore.

HollyGolightly09 · March 2017

@Breath_Easy92 My best friend felt like that in the beginning of her pregnancy. She was trying to get pregnant, but then when she did she didn't want to look at baby things, talk about the baby, anything like that. She would call me in tears because she said all anyone cared about was the baby and she didn't even feel like a person any more.

When she had the ultrasound to find out the gender it seemed to really help. She felt more connected and more like HER baby was inside of her, rather than that weird things were just happening to her body. Her son is 5 now and she is an amazing mom.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but I thought it might help to hear you aren't the only one who has felt that way.

Breath_Easy92 · March 2017

@HollyGolightly09 thank you that does help some. I thought I might be a little more connected when I found out he was a boy but it didn't help. Mainly I wanted a girl out of spite because my bitchy MIL said "well I hope it's at least a boy, the world doesn't need another one of her" I'm really hoping being able to feel him soon will help. I keep feeling this weird bubbly type of feeling occasionally especially firstvthing in the morning. I'm pretty sure it's my uterus expanding but I like to pretend it's him and it helps some.

stephy_p · March 2017

I have struggled with anxiety forever. I have been on medication for a couple of years and was doing really well prior to getting pregnant. My doctor kept me on part of my medication, Lexapro, but I had to stop taking the medicine that was quick-acting on my panic attacks. I haven't had too much trouble with my anxiety until a couple of weeks ago at around 13 weeks. Since then, I have been having some level of bothersome anxiety almost constantly. I had a panic attack driving home from work the week before last to the point I hyperventilated, gagged twice, and had to pull over to get calmed down. I have been wondering if it is a hormone related thing. I have no advice, but I am struggling right along with you ladies. We aren't not alone.

@Breath_Easy92 Your MIL sounds like a terrible person! Try your best not to let her steal your joy. Ugh. I just can't imagine a person saying something like that to anyone! I was really wanting a girl too, but I'm not sure why. I was really bummed out and sad when I found out I was having a boy. People all around me started telling me how awesome having a boy is, and I have decided to believe them and consciously change my attitude about it. At this point I have finally become really excited about having a boy. I am a first time mom, but I have a feeling that as time goes on, we will all start feeling more connected to our babies. Right now, it's easy to forget they are there since we can't feel them. Hang in there momma!

towntowns · March 2017

My anxiety and depression have been really bad. I went off my medications and while I'm happy for the baby's safety during the first trimester I am going back on them now that I'm in the second. I just feel like pregnancy and all the changes and sacrifices happening are sucking the joy out of everything. I have been an emotional mess. It's had a big effect on SO and I's relationship, I can't control my moods or my temper and I feel like giving up all the time. It's been a vicious cycle and I don't think that our relationship is going to survive which is only generating more anxiety being a single mom.

Ive been here before so I feel confident that things will get better. I definitely would say do everything you can to find a counselor. If you can't afford it I would ask your doctor or church. They can often get you connected with other options. And talk with your doctor.

Mostly just hang in there, remember that's its normal and seek out the help that's right for you. We can't stop the problem from happening, but we can seek out guidance into helping ourselves get better.

Jamiern01 · March 2017

So glad to hear others struggling with this too. I feel totally disconnected from this pregnancy. I wanted a baby but now that I'm pregnant I feel so disconnected. I cry all the time and just want to sleep.

@towntowns sorry you are struggling with your relationship with your SO. I have the same fear of being a single mom. I think my issue is that I feel so disconnected from the pregnancy it's making me short tempered with DH. Everything he does drives me nuts!! Which irritates him and then we fight about it. Some days I'm not sure which way is up.

IsItTacoTuesday · March 2017

Thank you for posting this @biglauryo . Thank you for being open and honest. I feel a weight off my shoulders to know I'm not alone in this. I've needed meds on and off through my adult life, but off as of a year before we started trying. Been thinking lately that I might need some help, my doctor has been my gyn for years and years and mentioned that if I needed anything to let her know. I hate being pregnant, though I wanted a baby so much that I had 2 surgeries to deal with polyps and fibroids and ovarian cyst in order to get my uterus ready to ttc. When I was 4 a kid in preschool told me santa wasn't real and my mom loves to tell people that I yelled at her for 2 weeks demanding to know why she lied to me since lying was bad. I equate how I feel now to this...every woman I know lied to me about pregnancy. They mentioned nausea, but not the debilitating exhaustion and total lack of control of your body and mind. I tried to run the other week (way slower and shorter than prepregnancy) and it was glorious because I felt like I had my mental health outlet back...but for 2 days after I could barely keep my eyes open. I could vent for pages...but will end with commiseration and support to reach out for help and encouragement to cut people who shame and judge you for this out (at least for now...I had this happen from a 'friend').

MrsJessS · March 2017

I hate that you are all feeling this way but at the same time I am so glad to know that I am not alone. I very much want this baby and wanted to be pregnant but I am so overcome with worry about the things that could possibly be wrong that it's been really hard to be excited. I am a worrier by nature so this has just been an extra thing to worry about...even though I logically know that worrying doesn't solve anything.
Right now I just feel exhausted all the time and I don't think I've fully wrapped my mind around the fact that there really is a baby growing in there.

JNR6510 · March 2017

I struggled with PTSD and anxiety pre-pregnancy. I still have occasional anxiety attacks, but DH has been amazing about trying to help me keep calm and relax. Next Tuesday will officially be the longest I have ever been pregnant. That alone has been a huge relief.

towntowns · March 2017

@Jamiern01 Yes, exactly. I can't seem to take control of my emotions. On top of my moodiness I feel so guilty for the feelings I have towards the pregnancy when I really should be nothing but grateful. Sounds like other people are feeling this way too. And while its ugly and messy to talk about I really appreciate someone posting it, a good reminder we are never truly alone.

biglauryo · March 2017

Thank you so much for sharing your stories, mamas! None of my friends have shared any sort of perinatal or postpartum depression stories and I was feeling so alone ... and so guilty for not being happy! I'm just thankful that my first pregnancy was better. Some days I feel pretty good (never great) and some days I just want to check out and sleep all day. Then the guilt of being a bad mom and partner set in and the vicious cycle begins. My therapist is going to work with me on coping skills for the perinatal depression and to work with the possible postpartum depression that might set in. She also recommended taking fish oil, which I got okayed by my obstetrician, and am going to start taking tonight.

We've all got this!!!

sugarpixxie2 · March 2017

@Breath_Easy92 @stephy_p. I felt the same with my 1st. I could only imagine a girl and was disappointed with a boy. When he moved it really helped connect that it was real, and when he was born he was helpless and beautiful, I loved him. Loved having him so much that my 2nd pregnancy I actually wanted another boy.... but got a girl lol.

So there's hope.

Ps, girl clothes are always cuter

msashley2010-2 · March 2017

I have also been extremely depressed. But my depression manifests itself in exhaustion and a lack of desire to socialize or do anything. I withdraw and am not expressive emotionally. I almost feel my SO would rather me scream at him when I'm mad rather than retreat within myself and refuse to talk.

I've been on medication in the past but couldn't deal with the side effects. Now I'm just trying to force myself to do things that I enjoy, even if I don't feel like it.

I'm dreading PPD because it was terrible for me last time.

you are definitely not alone in your feelings

earthtomom · March 2017

This was me up until last week. I cannot even express the level of hopelessness and guilt I felt. I never had it with my DD and feel like some of it was attributable to my 12 week loss in 2015. We have been ttc this baby for 8 years, so it is very much wanted. It was as if I completely checked out of life when I got my BFP this time and disconnected from everyone. I think it was self-preservation in case something were to happen this time.
What helped me was finally realizing I was depressed and forcing myself to admit my feelings and talk about them to my mom and DH. I had a total breakdown and then talked to my dr about it at my 12 week appt. Seeing my baby alive and healthy at 12 weeks really took a lot of pressure off as well. My Dr told me to keep an eye on my depression over the next couple of weeks (as it should be lessening) and to talk to her about it if it doesn't. She said it is normal and that I don't have to suffer all pregnancy. There are baby-safe medications available to help me.
Anyway, I wanted to share that I just came out of a depression so horrible, I thought I might be crazy or never be the same again. But here I am. Ive emerged and feel so grateful and happy! I'm sure I will still have off days but I'm me again!
I hope you all find relief soon and if not, please talk to your dr

stephy_p · March 2017

I had an appointment this morning and talked to my doctor about my anxiety. She increased my dosage of Lexapro, and ironically I am anxious about taking it, lol! She also recommend I try to find ways to slow down. Even though I feel like a whimpy, lazy failure for not being able to keep up with myself, i do honestly think I am trying to do too much and it is leading me to feel overwhelmed, anxious and depressed. This is definitely a period of adjustment in life!

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