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How to Break Family Tradition of JJJ

towntownstowntowns member
in Baby Names
Hi there! 

We won't be finding out the gender, mostly because if it is a boy I think there will be a tough issue of whether we follow SO family tradition of J names. 

His name is John Joshua J 
Dads name John Jeffrey J 
Grandfather was John Jacob J 
 
You see the pattern... I just am not in love with any J names, no connection. I also always thought that if I had the first boy in my family I would use my grandfathers name as the middle name [Richard] or my maiden name, I only have one boy cousin and no great-grandchildren boys yet. I love classic names Henry, Benjamin, and Theodore being my favorites. 

What would you do, bite your tongue and deal with it or push the issue?


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Re: How to Break Family Tradition of JJJ

  • LoveLee85LoveLee85 member
    I would just not share name ideas with family. Then, when baby is born make name whatever you want.....and then share the name! But that's just me. Good luck. When you have a baby, it's not just the fathers family and traditions in the loop, it's obviously your family also! 
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  • MamaWren919MamaWren919 member
    I would choose a first name you just like, but be open to using John as a mn, instead of the others you had in mind. That seems like a good compromise to me. Have you talked to your husband about it? He might not even be adamant about continuing the tradition.
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  • BringmemylongswordhoBringmemylongswordho member
    I would definitely talk to him about it. Family traditions are nice and all, but it's not fair to be forced into one. You both made the child, you both name the child, compromising like adults.  Maybe you can find a j name you like and use your maiden or Richard for the middle,  or maybe do John ad the middle and pick anunrelated name you both like. 
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  • joforyogajoforyoga member
    Do what you truly want but I loveeeee J names! Some suggestions......

    Jackson
    Jonah
    Judah
    Jude
    Joel
    Jonas
    Jett
    Jesse
    Jenner
    Julian
    Jimi
    Joshua

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  • nurse714nurse714 member
    I love family traditions and wouldn't think of breaking one, but that's me. It's your baby also so you can break the tradition of you want. If you did break the tradition, I would at least have the first or middle name start with a J.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TTC since September 2012
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  • JMU_Bride09JMU_Bride09 member
    Family traditions are great if you're onboard.  But never follow them, especially for your baby, if it's not something you like.  You should love your baby's name.  If you end up loving a J name, go for it.  But if you want to honor those in your own family or pick something completely separate from any family name, you have that right.  I think that the only rule that matters when it comes to naming your baby (as far as traditions, family names, etc go) is that you and your husband love the name.  No one else's opinion matters.
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  • achays11achays11 member
    I would talk it over with you husband. He may not want to continue the tradition. 

    MH is a Jr. and said that he wouldn't mind naming a potential boy after himself. I was very adamant that I would not be having a III because I wanted my potential son to have his own identity. Not exactly the same situation, but the point is make your voice heard and maybe you guys can come to a compromise. Our compromise is that our boy will be named after his grandfather who passed away. 
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  • ellie111227ellie111227 member
    Definitely don't do it just because it is tradition. What does your husband want to do? The only opinions that matter here are yours and his, so if you are compromising, make sure it is with him, not with the rest if his family. I wouldn't discuss anything about the name with them, because asking for opinions or trying to make your case that it is ok to break the tradition really just communicates that you need their permission or approval, and you don't. If the tradition is important to your husband, I think using John as a middle name (or as a first name and having the child go by their middle name) could be a good compromise. If neither of you want to continue the tradition, pick the name you want and probably don't tell anyone else until it is on the birth certificate, especially if you think they will give you a hard time about it.
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  • towntownstowntowns member
    Thanks for all the encouragement ladies. SO really wants to continue the tradition, he goes by his middle name. I am hoping that one will stick in my head and start to feel comfortable. The ones I like are either ex-bfs or already been named in his/my family. 

    We have agreed we are not discussing names with anybody until that baby is out and named. Especially his family because I know they will put pressure on us. It's definitely tricky to discuss breaking a tradition without being hurtful but I do agree we both need to love the name. 

    Heres to hoping one sticks or its a girl! 
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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    If your SO really wants to continue the tradition, a good compromise would be for you to select the middle name (I assume first name would be John and he'd go by the middle name, or Jack or something).  If you truly can't find a J name you like, reopen negotiations about breaking the tradition.  It's hard to say "who cares, just go ahead and break the tradition!" when the father really wants to continue it...there can still be a compromise there though.
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