I'm so done with winter! I just want to take my kiddos out in the nice weather and get some fresh air!!
Mhmmmmmm! I feel like an actual spring baby would have been so much easier starting this two under two thing! DD1 loves being outside and the past couple days it's been -22 with windchill up here! I can't wait till it's nice enough to just spread a blanket outside so we can get out of the house and be distracted by something other than Netflix!
We're supposed to get 12-18" of snow tomorrow. ugh
Bets on me going into labor in the middle of a snow storm??
Yep! Pretty sure I'm going to have a c-section scheduled for Wednesday, but wanna bet that baby girl decides that the middle of a snow storm is perfect time to come naturally?! Let's all hope our babies stay put until after the snow!
I've been vomiting and on the toilet for the entire night. I cannot sleep. My son is a cuddle minster so I'm between aching all the time and not wanting to be touched and then snuggling my baby boy constantly. We have a snowstorm tonight and I have a feeling that today will be the day haha
Lol @Lexxilou1986 he doesn't even really watch it! He just wants it as background noise while he plays and so he can dance when they sing stupid songs.. can you say diva?!
@Gators&BoSox mine loves to watch but also plays intermittently as well. At least lately he is taking a break from "meemo" (finding nemo) which he has wanted constantly for weeks! It's super cute that he likes to dance to the silly songs Toddlers are both awesome and terrible haha
I've yet to introduce that show! I'm sure she'll love it though because she's obsessed with her Minnie Mouse doll... so it'll be in our house soon. current obsessions are curious George and Sophia the First. The latter of which I fell asleep last night with the theme song playing on repeat in my head.
I agree that I wish it was warmer so I could go for a walk outside with LO...snow sucks, winter can go kick rocks!
My mom has been staying with me and she has been very helpful but is it bad to say I am kind of looking forward to when she leaves on Thursday?! It's been a long 2 weeks and I just want to do my thing...I feel ready. DH is going out of town tomorrow until Thurs so it will be good to have help a little longer but I'm also tired and cranky and just want my space!!
I started cutting random things out of magazines and off of mailers and letting my 2 year old tape them to pieces of paper, lol. Add markets and you've got a mixed media art project
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's older kid has been binge watching Netflix. I feel so guilty since my son used to be in daycare full time before we moved, so him having all of this TV time makes me feel like a bad mom. It's been raining so much here that we haven't been able to get outside much. Yesterday we had a reprieve and the sun was out, so he "helped" my husband with some yard work and got to ride around on his balance bike. I found some indoor activities to do to keep him occupied, but I'm so dang tired that all I want to do is sit down with my feet up. How do all of you who stay home full time do this?! I have so much adoration for all of you!
This nor'easter has got me all worked up. I hope all our babies in the snow path stay put tomorrow! We are supposed to get 10" near us then it's going to dump rain, but if I go into labor, we'd have to drive north back up in to the snow. Or drive south and deliver at a different hospital? I just want Wednesday to come so I can wake up still pregnant. And then little guy, you are welcome to arrive anytime.
I've yet to introduce that show! I'm sure she'll love it though because she's obsessed with her Minnie Mouse doll... so it'll be in our house soon. current obsessions are curious George and Sophia the First. The latter of which I fell asleep last night with the theme song playing on repeat in my head.
All sofia all the time in our house. I had an actual nightmare last night that I was trying to save Sofia and for some reason I couldn't and I was devestated because I just knew my daughter would be SO upset. #issues
@RunBooRun I'm feeling like the same will happen to me. Not quite as much snow forecasted for here but still supposed to be messy PLUS hubby works for his brother as a snowplower so basically we are all praying this baby stays put until after everything is cleared!
DS is in preschool/daycare, but on the weekends we've been watching a lot. He's a Paw Patrol obsesser. Also... watches those really weird YouTube videos of kids opening and playing with toys. And garbage trucks. Because what's more exciting then videos of garbage trucks literally just driving around picking up garbage?
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
1) FINALLY got my short term disability payment. Babies were born more than a month ago... They paid me for the wrong dates, so now I have to argue to get paid for the week + 1 day they're missing.
2) The bills started coming from my hospital stay (9 day total stay. 5 before babies and 4 after). Apparently the NSTs that were done continually on days 1 and 2 and then 4-6x a day on days 3-5 were not fully covered by insurance??? So each day of NSTs was $150 or so in addition of all of my other hospital bills. SERIOUSLY? I didn't ask them to put the monitors on the babies... IT WAS A MEDICAL NECESSITY.
3) I went to see a LC today. I was hoping for help with their latches and to learn more about domperidone and whether or not they would recommend it for someone like me with a tiny supply. I went in feeling anxious, and I came out diagnosed with "insufficient glandular tissue" or IGT. Basically, I am one of the 1-3% of women that will NEVER be able to breast feed exclusively because I don't have enough glandular breast tissue. I could pump until I'm blue in the face, eat all of the oatmeal, and drink 3 gallons of water a day and it wouldn't matter. I. Am. Crushed. I have only stopped crying for short periods of time today. I'm sad, I'm angry, I feel like my body has failed me and I am a complete waste of space. My body had literally one job... and failed. Now I have to decide if it is worth driving myself crazy to keep up pumping 8x a day for 10 oz total (which is about 1 1/2 feeds for each baby...), or if I want to switch to formula only... or if I want to do something different.
@direwolfmini I am thinking about you and praying that you will find some peace. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to get news like that, but at the very least, you know you've done/are doing everything in your power to give your babies breastmilk. Whatever decision you come too, your babies will be loved and fed and that's all that really matters at the end of the day! You're doing an amazing job mama, don't let yourself believe anything different!!
@direwolfmini I'm so sorry. You're body is definitely not a failure. Even if you can't breastfeed, you still grew those babes! And even if they're getting formula, you're feeding them and they're going to grow big and strong, and they'll still feel your love. Big hugs to you. PS I know there are also places out there you can get donor milk, if that's the direction you wanna go.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
@direwolfmini i'm so sorry and sending you a million hugs. you are a fantastic mom and you have done everything right by these babies. they know how much you love them trust me
@direwolfmini I'm so sorry your LC appointment came with that tough news. Creepy internet hugs coming your way! like everyone else already said--no matter what you decide-you are doing a great job, mama! But it's also totally normal and okay to cry and morn the loss of the expectation of fully breast feeding your littles. I know how much you've shared here your struggles and desire to do so over the past few weeks. You clearly have been doing so much to make it work-so I'm at least glad the LC was able to show you that you were doing nothing wrong!! And help you see why things haven't been happening like you hoped. Hope with tomorrow and a fresh day you can find peace and joy
@longliveregina That is a great point and I love your media arts project idea! Cheap & easy entertainment FTW!
Don't let the fancy name fool you. Today's project was letters I cut off a gift bag, scraps of colorful tissue paper fron said bag, markers, and stickers.
1) FINALLY got my short term disability payment. Babies were born more than a month ago... They paid me for the wrong dates, so now I have to argue to get paid for the week + 1 day they're missing.
2) The bills started coming from my hospital stay (9 day total stay. 5 before babies and 4 after). Apparently the NSTs that were done continually on days 1 and 2 and then 4-6x a day on days 3-5 were not fully covered by insurance??? So each day of NSTs was $150 or so in addition of all of my other hospital bills. SERIOUSLY? I didn't ask them to put the monitors on the babies... IT WAS A MEDICAL NECESSITY.
3) I went to see a LC today. I was hoping for help with their latches and to learn more about domperidone and whether or not they would recommend it for someone like me with a tiny supply. I went in feeling anxious, and I came out diagnosed with "insufficient glandular tissue" or IGT. Basically, I am one of the 1-3% of women that will NEVER be able to breast feed exclusively because I don't have enough glandular breast tissue. I could pump until I'm blue in the face, eat all of the oatmeal, and drink 3 gallons of water a day and it wouldn't matter. I. Am. Crushed. I have only stopped crying for short periods of time today. I'm sad, I'm angry, I feel like my body has failed me and I am a complete waste of space. My body had literally one job... and failed. Now I have to decide if it is worth driving myself crazy to keep up pumping 8x a day for 10 oz total (which is about 1 1/2 feeds for each baby...), or if I want to switch to formula only... or if I want to do something different.
Thanks for listening.
First, you are totally entitled to your feelings. Anger, sadness, guilt, whatever you feel make sure you take time to mourn. Its a big deal, and it's okay to let it feel like one.
But I do want to encourage you about the bolded above. One job? Only one? Lady, your body grew TWO BABIES. I thought I was going to fall apart just carrying one to 37 weeks. Your body is functioning to now provide almost 100% of care for TWO LITTLE HUMANS. Your body is doing that. You are doing that.
Its not shameful to use formula. This is what formula is FOR...so that amazing mom's like you can do what it takes to raise healthy, thriving, growing humans.
Whatever you decide, pumping or not, decide what is best for your whole family and be proud of yourself. If the stress of so much pumping isn't good for you, then stop, no shame. If it's worth it to you to keep pumping a few times a day, then do it! There is no "wrong" answer here.
I promise to stop using the bitchfest to complain about breastfeeding, I just didn't know where else to vent about it. I suppose I could look at it that at least there is a REASON why I'm having issues with supply. Some women never know why they struggled with supply. On the plus side, both babies latched without the shield, so there is that. I may just nurse each of them 1 or 2 times a day, and pump once overnight for comfort. I haven't decided so I'm going with my normal schedule of pumping until I decide how to proceed. I think I'm mostly upset to know that IF we decide for a #3 that I'll have this same issue even with a full term singleton...
ETA @longliveregina, thanks lady. I didn't see your reply when I posted this. I appreciate it.
@direwolfmini i'm sorry that you got that news, but i just wanted to echo that your babies just being here on this planet are proof that your body is NOT a failure!
i know my situation is different -- but i have been sensitive about people saying things like "your body was built to do this!" re pregnancy and having newborns because a) i needed medical intervention to get pregnant in the first place, and b) twin b and i both almost died in childbirth, and i'm not sure what would have happened without our really stellar medical team ready to go in an emergency. so while breastfeeding specifically has not been a big problem for me, i get that it is hard when things aren't working out the way you thought they would, ESPECIALLY when things seem to be easy breezy for everyone else. i'm sending you creepy internet hugs and hope that you are being gentle and kind to yourself! Your babies are fed and so obviously well loved and that's what matters. I find taking time with either baby to just cuddle skin to skin helps put things in perspective. i have totally avoided everyone's labor stories because i can't deal with hearing about them (and didn't even post my own), so maybe avoiding the breastfeeding threads would be good for you? but you konw yourself best...
[PS i also cried a lot when i found out that due to my stat c section, it was the 'classical' kind, which means i can't have a VBAC if we decide for a third. i really don't think we're going to have a third. it was really upsetting to hear anyway.]
I don't feel like I can really add much to what's already been said, but I'm thinking of you. You are a great mama! Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your littles.
@direwolfmini I feel for you. I understand your feelings, but also know that you have two beautiful babies that you carried and gave birth to. Your feeding plan may not be going as you have expected, but as PP said this is what formula is for. There is no shame in formula feeding. Keep your head up, you are doing a great job with two babies. I'm nervous about my one (when she comes!).
Gators&BoSox
member
Re: Weekly Bitchfest (3/13)
Bets on me going into labor in the middle of a snow storm??
Samantha - 4/5/2017
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19
My mom has been staying with me and she has been very helpful but is it bad to say I am kind of looking forward to when she leaves on Thursday?! It's been a long 2 weeks and I just want to do my thing...I feel ready. DH is going out of town tomorrow until Thurs so it will be good to have help a little longer but I'm also tired and cranky and just want my space!!
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
@longliveregina That is a great point
and I love your media arts project idea! Cheap & easy entertainment FTW!
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
2) The bills started coming from my hospital stay (9 day total stay. 5 before babies and 4 after). Apparently the NSTs that were done continually on days 1 and 2 and then 4-6x a day on days 3-5 were not fully covered by insurance??? So each day of NSTs was $150 or so in addition of all of my other hospital bills. SERIOUSLY? I didn't ask them to put the monitors on the babies... IT WAS A MEDICAL NECESSITY.
3) I went to see a LC today. I was hoping for help with their latches and to learn more about domperidone and whether or not they would recommend it for someone like me with a tiny supply. I went in feeling anxious, and I came out diagnosed with "insufficient glandular tissue" or IGT. Basically, I am one of the 1-3% of women that will NEVER be able to breast feed exclusively because I don't have enough glandular breast tissue. I could pump until I'm blue in the face, eat all of the oatmeal, and drink 3 gallons of water a day and it wouldn't matter.
I. Am. Crushed. I have only stopped crying for short periods of time today. I'm sad, I'm angry, I feel like my body has failed me and I am a complete waste of space. My body had literally one job... and failed. Now I have to decide if it is worth driving myself crazy to keep up pumping 8x a day for 10 oz total (which is about 1 1/2 feeds for each baby...), or if I want to switch to formula only... or if I want to do something different.
Thanks for listening.
@datalover13 my son loves garbage trucks too! so funny
PS I know there are also places out there you can get donor milk, if that's the direction you wanna go.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
like everyone else already said--no matter what you decide-you are doing a great job, mama! But it's also totally normal and okay to cry and morn the loss of the expectation of fully breast feeding your littles. I know how much you've shared here your struggles and desire to do so over the past few weeks. You clearly have been doing so much to make it work-so I'm at least glad the LC was able to show you that you were doing nothing wrong!! And help you see why things haven't been happening like you hoped.
Hope with tomorrow and a fresh day you can find peace and joy
But I do want to encourage you about the bolded above. One job? Only one? Lady, your body grew TWO BABIES. I thought I was going to fall apart just carrying one to 37 weeks. Your body is functioning to now provide almost 100% of care for TWO LITTLE HUMANS. Your body is doing that. You are doing that.
Its not shameful to use formula. This is what formula is FOR...so that amazing mom's like you can do what it takes to raise healthy, thriving, growing humans.
Whatever you decide, pumping or not, decide what is best for your whole family and be proud of yourself. If the stress of so much pumping isn't good for you, then stop, no shame. If it's worth it to you to keep pumping a few times a day, then do it! There is no "wrong" answer here.
I promise to stop using the bitchfest to complain about breastfeeding, I just didn't know where else to vent about it. I suppose I could look at it that at least there is a REASON why I'm having issues with supply. Some women never know why they struggled with supply. On the plus side, both babies latched without the shield, so there is that. I may just nurse each of them 1 or 2 times a day, and pump once overnight for comfort. I haven't decided so I'm going with my normal schedule of pumping until I decide how to proceed. I think I'm mostly upset to know that IF we decide for a #3 that I'll have this same issue even with a full term singleton...
ETA @longliveregina, thanks lady. I didn't see your reply when I posted this. I appreciate it.
i know my situation is different -- but i have been sensitive about people saying things like "your body was built to do this!" re pregnancy and having newborns because a) i needed medical intervention to get pregnant in the first place, and b) twin b and i both almost died in childbirth, and i'm not sure what would have happened without our really stellar medical team ready to go in an emergency. so while breastfeeding specifically has not been a big problem for me, i get that it is hard when things aren't working out the way you thought they would, ESPECIALLY when things seem to be easy breezy for everyone else. i'm sending you creepy internet hugs and hope that you are being gentle and kind to yourself! Your babies are fed and so obviously well loved and that's what matters. I find taking time with either baby to just cuddle skin to skin helps put things in perspective. i have totally avoided everyone's labor stories because i can't deal with hearing about them (and didn't even post my own), so maybe avoiding the breastfeeding threads would be good for you? but you konw yourself best...
[PS i also cried a lot when i found out that due to my stat c section, it was the 'classical' kind, which means i can't have a VBAC if we decide for a third. i really don't think we're going to have a third. it was really upsetting to hear anyway.]
edit: @direwolfmini
I don't feel like I can really add much to what's already been said, but I'm thinking of you. You are a great mama! Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your littles.
Samantha - 4/5/2017
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19