I'm having a "disassociated, want to burst out of my own skin, why tf isn't winter over" kind of morning. It comes and goes, but I'm starting to think I'm going to need to go back to weekly counseling to make it through the first tri. I don't cope well when I don't feel well physically.
@ArtificialRed - Sorry to hear about your morning. I can definitely relate to not coping well when not feeling well. It happened to me this week a little bit. I'm so nauseated and having trouble keeping food down that I just started feeling a little depressed about it all and how I'm going to make it through the next several months with 2 toddlers. I'm having constant anxiety over weight gain, but I've actually been eating really well overall so I know that's just my anxiety being a b*itch. I told a friend of mine at church about how I was just feeling like I was being like a total a-hole to my kids lately with having such a short fuse. She has 5 kids and said it was the same for her so I felt a little better, but still, blech.
@ArtificialRed@kschref I'm sorry you both feel so horrible! @ArtificialRed I hope you do what you need to do to take care of yourself and that it helps. @kschref it's hard not feeling well and growing a human plus looking after two other very young ones. Hoping you both feel better soon!
To start off, I think I'm being oversensitive and hormonal. I told my bff about our pregnancy early because she was insistent on buying bridesmaid dresses last week, so it was kind of necessary. She seemed really excited for me but threw in a comment about me telling so early and how she isn't going to do that, that kind of upset me...I didn't WANT to tell so early but felt like I should so it didn't disrupt her wedding plans. She hasn't asked how I am since I told her and it seems to me like she isn't into talking about it at all. I feel like she's kind of mad that I'll be pregnant during her wedding and all her wedding events, though I would never try to take attention from her on her special days. It's just making me sad, but again I might just be overthinking it and it's all in my head.
@DuchessOfCambridge I was pregnant for my bffs wedding. I think the brides just get so wrapped up in themselves that they forget the world doesn't revolve around their special day. I was 7 months pregnant during her Vegas bachelorette party and she was pretty pissed I didn't go. I wouldn't take it personally, but I get that it can feel hurtful.
I don't seem to be having any SSRI withdrawal which is nice. I really expected to be in the throws of that by now. Had betas drawn today though which stressed me into a tailspin. Anxiously waiting for my number tomorrow morning. It took everything in me not to break down crying at the appointment today.
Tw/* I'm in a weird spot mentally at work. I want to be excited because I am 6 wks but I feel guilt because one of my coworkers suffered a miscarriage not too long ago. It makes for awkward situations that let my anxiety run wild in my imagination. I haven't said anything to her about me being pregnant. I go round and roundin my head wondering what to do. It makes me overthink everything. Like that cycle you get stuck in compulsively from anxiety and then I get upset because I should be happier for myself but feel so afraid to show it.
I'm feeling this too @AntWolfe . I have a very close friend who has been trying for quite some time and my H told her H while they were away this past weekend, and I don't know if he told her but I just feel so guilty and awkward because I don't want to make her feel like I'm rubbing it in her face but I don't want her to think I'm not telling her for any reason either. I have no idea what to do.
Also, I've just been feeling over anxious about the whole pregnancy in general the past couple days. I've had two very healthy pregnancies but DH keeps saying things like "if you stay pregnant" or "as long as this works out" and it's freaking me out. I know we have been super blessed and I'm getting older but I already have to worry about that all day in my head and I don't need him freaking me out anymore. And if you read my bitchfest post, my mom's feelings on it aren't making it any better. I'm a mess.
Same boat. My BFF started trying the month we announced we were pregnant with my daughter in March 2015 and they're still unsuccessful and on their second medicated cycle. This is my third pregnancy before she's even had one that she so desperately wants. I'm really nervous to tell her.
I feel like my job performance has suffered over the past few months because of all of the appointments for fertility treatment. And now, I'm feeling distracted and sick and miserable.
We are closing on our new house in like 3 weeks and the thought of finishing all of the packing and moving is... a lot.
I'm off my anxiety/depression and migraine medications since we started seeing the RE and off my reflux meds since my BFP. My reflux is so bad that my doctor was pushing surgery, but I knew I wanted to be done with kids before having it.
I'm just not in a great place, and I know I should be after trying so hard for so long for this baby. I'm also feeling very sensitive about my 6yo. This baby will be my fiancé's first and his side's first grandchild. So I get why they're going to be over the moon, but I really worry that this will be hurtful to my son. It shouldn't be "omg finally a grandchild" - he's existed since they met me and is every bit as much a child in this family. I don't think my FI feels differently about him but I'm worried that his family will, once they know.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
@cnf2013 so glad you aren't experiencing any withdrawal effects. I haven't yet either but am still waiting...fx neither of us do.
@ugoglencoco DH has said things like that since we found out too. I finally lost it one day, started crying, and told him my anxiety was high enough without his negativity. He seems to have got the message but I truly don't think he understands how I am feeling and the anxiety I already have. I don't know if it would help but maybe explain to YH that the extra anxiety he is causing isn't good for you? Hugs!
@pawcall My last BMB had women who continued their meds under doctor's guidance and they are doing great! Have you had a SIBO test? That was part of my reflux and bloating. I'm now on antibiotics and they seem to be helping.
@DuchessOfCambridge I was going to be 7 months pregnant at my BFF's wedding. Now I will be a little over 4. I don't think she was super happy I'm pregnant again, but she wouldn't say it to me. I think she's more happy that I won't be showing too much now. Makes you question things sometimes!
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@NYTino24 well that's upsetting. I can't imagine being anything except happy for my friend being pregnant, especially if she's gone through something as traumatic as a loss.
@DuchessOfCambridge I think it's wedding blinders for her. She is super OCD and anal with low self esteem, so knowing her, it's an attention thing. She really is a good friend and wouldn't say anything to me. I think she's doubting getting married and having kids in general, but the pressure of being in her mid-30s is freaking her out. That's a story for another time.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
I have been slowly dropping off my topamax for migraines, I was on 100mg and now I'm down to 25mgs this week. The migraines have slowly started back. The obgyn I am seeing told me to stay on my antidepressants because my anxiety and depression is finally under control and going off it would be worse but said to for sure go off the topamax. It's been rough though. I feel for you.
Also, I have to say I'm glad that I am not the only one who has conflicted emotions over announcing when they have friends who have suffered loss. It makes me feel slightly more normal despite what my emotions try to tell me
Re: Mental Health Monday
To start off, I think I'm being oversensitive and hormonal.
I told my bff about our pregnancy early because she was insistent on buying bridesmaid dresses last week, so it was kind of necessary. She seemed really excited for me but threw in a comment about me telling so early and how she isn't going to do that, that kind of upset me...I didn't WANT to tell so early but felt like I should so it didn't disrupt her wedding plans. She hasn't asked how I am since I told her and it seems to me like she isn't into talking about it at all. I feel like she's kind of mad that I'll be pregnant during her wedding and all her wedding events, though I would never try to take attention from her on her special days. It's just making me sad, but again I might just be overthinking it and it's all in my head.
It makes me overthink everything. Like that cycle you get stuck in compulsively from anxiety and then I get upset because I should be happier for myself but feel so afraid to show it.
Also, I've just been feeling over anxious about the whole pregnancy in general the past couple days. I've had two very healthy pregnancies but DH keeps saying things like "if you stay pregnant" or "as long as this works out" and it's freaking me out. I know we have been super blessed and I'm getting older but I already have to worry about that all day in my head and I don't need him freaking me out anymore. And if you read my bitchfest post, my mom's feelings on it aren't making it any better. I'm a mess.
I feel like my job performance has suffered over the past few months because of all of the appointments for fertility treatment. And now, I'm feeling distracted and sick and miserable.
We are closing on our new house in like 3 weeks and the thought of finishing all of the packing and moving is... a lot.
I'm off my anxiety/depression and migraine medications since we started seeing the RE and off my reflux meds since my BFP. My reflux is so bad that my doctor was pushing surgery, but I knew I wanted to be done with kids before having it.
I'm just not in a great place, and I know I should be after trying so hard for so long for this baby. I'm also feeling very sensitive about my 6yo. This baby will be my fiancé's first and his side's first grandchild. So I get why they're going to be over the moon, but I really worry that this will be hurtful to my son. It shouldn't be "omg finally a grandchild" - he's existed since they met me and is every bit as much a child in this family. I don't think my FI feels differently about him but I'm worried that his family will, once they know.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
@ugoglencoco DH has said things like that since we found out too. I finally lost it one day, started crying, and told him my anxiety was high enough without his negativity. He seems to have got the message but I truly don't think he understands how I am feeling and the anxiety I already have. I don't know if it would help but maybe explain to YH that the extra anxiety he is causing isn't good for you? Hugs!
@pawcall My last BMB had women who continued their meds under doctor's guidance and they are doing great! Have you had a SIBO test? That was part of my reflux and bloating. I'm now on antibiotics and they seem to be helping.
@DuchessOfCambridge I was going to be 7 months pregnant at my BFF's wedding. Now I will be a little over 4. I don't think she was super happy I'm pregnant again, but she wouldn't say it to me. I think she's more happy that I won't be showing too much now. Makes you question things sometimes!
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
Also, I have to say I'm glad that I am not the only one who has conflicted emotions over announcing when they have friends who have suffered loss. It makes me feel slightly more normal despite what my emotions try to tell me