-Surprising thing about labor: How strange the feeling of water breaking is. Also: how true "You'all know when you're in labor and it's not BH" is. It didn't feel like period cramps, or your stomach hardening it was painful.
- Surprising thing about newborns: That they aren't as fragile as you think. Sure, you should be careful and do your best to support their heads etc, but they're pretty resilient.
- Their cries are totally different. My one guy sounds like a tea kettle when he's angry, and like a squeaky mouse when he's hungry. The other one is more chill and generally doesn't cry when he's hungry, he just starts smacking his lips.
the thing that surprised me most about labor is for me it felt nothing like it had been described to me by everyone. i didn't have any cramps that start in the back and wrap around, no period like feeling or anything like that. idk if it was bc of pitocin or if this is just the way my labor feels but i literally felt like a barbie doll having her legs pried off at the hips. i went in thinking "i've got this! i get horrible period cramps so upping them a little more shouldn't be too bad" to being totally blind sided and feeling like a lobster being cracked open. i don't intend to scare anyone.. just that labor is apparently a very unique experience for everyone. I'm hoping for the more "standard" sensation this time but i'm ready for whatever.
i agree with @direwolfmini that newborns are definitely sturdier that they look. my DS was a bit of an over achiever in that he was lifting and holding up his head in his first week. freaked my dad out! lol
I'm mostly surprised how different labor is for every person. I back labored with my first, and it felt like I was being torn in half. The little labor I had this time was closer to period cramps up front.
The thing that has surprised me about newborns, especially if they're full term, how they aren't as fragile. But my 37 weeker is definitely not nearly as coordinated as his 41 week brother was.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
Agree with the fragile comments above, once I held DD I wasn't worried about breaking her.
Also I was surprised at just how much newborns sleep. I really thought I would need DH's help the first week, turns out we just hung out at watched movies while the baby slept all the time. This time I am getting help because of the toddler!
The thing that surprised me most about labor was the immense relief after pushing the babies out, after that stinging burn of crowning and then suddenly....its all over and you feel empty! I was prepared to experience pain at incredible levels but the huge rush of contentedness and relief after the babies came out was surprising! ETA: getting stitches and dealing with them afterward is the. Worst. Ever. I tore with both my babies, the first they gave me numbing shots which were more painful than the stitches, then with my second she threaded the needle and dove right in with no numbing. The doctor with my second was a total jerk. She came in just in time to catch the baby and sew me up and then disappeared and left a plethora of nurses to care for me without speaking a single word!
The most unexpected thing about newborns for me was their little sounds. My daughter was a squeaker, when stretching, eating, pooping, hanging out, sleeping. We called her Squeeks. My son caught me by surprise with how difficult he was to read. I could never tell if he was hungry or tired, he just fussed and cried constantly for 8 months of his life. Swaddle, no swaddle, feed, change, undress, nothing seemed to matter except when I sat perfectly still holding him! And I'm always surprised at how much I love them
Labor: agreed with the above, I had back labor and it felt like nothing that had been described to me. To me it felt almost like a burning/pinching pressure in the extreme l9wee back (way intense durimy contractions, constant sore tightness between). I wasn't even sure it was time to push because I never got that need to push/need to poop sensation....it felt more like someone was grabbing the insides of my uterus and pushing down suddenly.
Newborn: how much I could not stand to be away from him or have anyone else hold him. Also how I never got that instantly connected and in love feeling. Our bond grew gradually over the first couple of weeks.
labor: how once my water broke it continuously trickled out of me the whole time until I was fully dilated. When I started the whole thing I was 2 cm dilated, so each time my body hit a new number, there would be a bigger gush of water. I had heard about throwing up, I threw up a ton of times uncontrollably. I constantly wavered between feeling hot and cold. No one told me about the stinging feeling being the baby showing, i was convinced i had a UTI and kept complaining to the nurses.
newborn: still don't know, one day i'll take him home and learn what i don't know.
Labor: I was so surprised how high my pain tolerance was and how confident I felt that I could deliver him without any interventions. (Hoping for the same this round!) And yes.. first time in the tub, I had a weird tube top on, once I went back in, I was stripped down to the naked. .... I did have a second degree test and I was shocked at how much that hurt to be stitched up when I had just delivered a baby.
Newborn: Yes! The noises drove me insane and my son ended up in his own room at 2.5 weeks so I could sleep. I was also surprised at how much care was needed for his circumcision.. FYI to moms who choose that route.
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 1 Samuel 1:27 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK no one asked me but I'm sharing some advice. This is advice for the STM+ with toddlers:
TAKE IT EASY. Even if you feel like recovery is easier the second or third time around, be sure to care for yourself! Don't lift heavy objects. Don't clean the house right away. Don't pick up your toddlers the first week. Sit down and have them climb on your lap. REST. I did too much too soon (went to the park the day after delivery, picked up two kids at once, went shopping with 3 kids etc etc) and today my postpartum bleeding got really bad. (It's not dangerous but my body is definitely telling me to slow down) So I wanted to remind you guys to relax. Chores will get done later.
Thanks @Cbeanz! I love having your perspective as a STM+! Struggling already with the transition and I don't even have my baby yet!
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 1 Samuel 1:27 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted on symptoms too, but pretty sure I lost mucous plug yesterday. I know It might not mean much, but how long after you guys lost it did you go into labor?
Labor- With 21 of PIT, the contractions I felt after they broke my water were the worst pain ever. With my first induction, I remember thinking I could handle the pain without the epidural but was scared to actually push the baby out. This time, the pitocin being so high, mixed with the pressure after my water broke was unbearable. Also, I could still feel contractions with my epidural, but they were manageable. I didn't feel intense pressure to push, just bad pain in my hips and butt. Felt like something squeezing me together really hard right on the bones. Also, my nurse warned me that there would probably be a burning/ripping sensation as baby crowned. She said first time moms usually don't have it but second time mom's do, especially if you tore the first time. Even with an epidural, it was pretty intense during pushing until the head came out.
Baby- As others have said, how sturdy a newborn is! My first was 34 weeks and so tiny, this 7 lb 37 weeker is awesome! Also, all through this pregnancy I've been worried that I'd hate the baby stage. A huge part of me was just sorta over the little baby stage and while I wanted another child, I didn't really want another baby (not sure if that makes sense). I was so wrong!! I am so in love with nursing again, snuggles, etc. I forgot about all the hormones that kick in to make the transition easier!
Also, I second what @Cbeanz said!!! Take it easy if you have a toddler! I too over did it and am hurting more now than I did 2 days after! Don't pick up the toddler..I repeat, DO NOT pick up the toddler. It feels like your uterus might fall out.
Finally, don't be surprised if you lose control of your bladder. No one warned me, and I didn't have an issue after my first. This time, if my bladder gets to full, I just pee. I can't stop it at all and have peed myself multiple times. It's gotten a bit better, but is still an issue. My Dr explained that it's like hitting your funny bone, its tingly, doesn't have feeling, etc for awhile but will eventually get better!
Thanks @Cbeanz !!! I decided to make a STM thread so we could keep this advice kinda stuff flowing!! And leave the FTMs alone to not overwhelm them too much haha.
Agree @Lexxilou1986 I too quickly realized I need to give myself wayyy more grace and time in recovery... in may be a badass... but I'm not Wonder Woman -- STM or FTM, labor and delivery is a crazy process and we need to show our bodies grace and patience and lots of time to heal!
Okay--I just passed a chunk of something that wasn't blood... grey tissue, like the size and look of an un-inflated baloon . Piece of tissue?? I know I could call, but I don't want their answer to be that I have to come back in -so I'm feeling tempted to just wait till my appointment next week to ask my midwife.
Anyone else have experience with something like this postpartum??
@kjd291 Er...I'd call just to be safe. I don't think it's bad though unless it's a large clot, like fist sized. Baloon size seems okay. You aren't having heavy bleeding right? Your milk is coming in okay?
@kjd291 I passed the same kind of thing after having my first, but was actually able to grasp it and pull it out of myself like a handkerchief. So gross! I freaked the hell out, but my mom looked at it bravely, and said it was nothing to worry about and I didn't experience any pain or bleeding or adverse symptoms. I can't recall if I asked my OB about it, so if you call please let me know what they say!
@silverbulletband sound exactly like what I just did this afternoon!!
@longliveregina my milk is coming in great, and don't have a fever, barely even bleeding otherwise... which is why I'm not overly concerned about it being a huge issue. My discharge paperwork had every kind of "please call if..." for bleeding and dishcharge excerpt for this. Haha.
STMs - How much of the non-consumable stuff did you find that you actually used? I.E. People have been very generous to us and we have a lot of hand-me-down and brand new swaddlers, clothes, hooded towels, wash cloths, etc. There's a couple from one of my baby classes that I know is in a tight spot financially and being in that same position, I was wanting to offer them some of our overflow, but don't want to end up short-changing my own family.
I had a random thought tonight- of course now all thoughts about anything whatsoever are tinted by thoughts of labor starting or watching for symptoms. What if... your water breaks in the shower. Is it possible you wouldn't know?
I can find just about anything to worry about, it's a special talent.
@jenny0228 When I had DS, I was already having contractions and knew I was in labor but when I went to the hospital and got checked they said my water had broken. It must have happened when I was in the tub at home. I had no idea and didn't leak at all on the way to the hospital. Anyways, I guess it's possible. Sorry to not relieve your worry:?
I'd say **if** it does break somewhere like that where you wouldn't notice, and **if** you weren't already in labor so you'd be heading to the hospital at some point soon anyway ... you'd notice sooner or later before it was an issue. Both times I was in labor I had seporate gushes/trickles after it broke as baby moved around. Plus water keeps replenishing for baby even after it breaks. So I'd say definitely you'd notice before it was emergent that it happened!
STMs - How much of the non-consumable stuff did you find that you actually used? I.E. People have been very generous to us and we have a lot of hand-me-down and brand new swaddlers, clothes, hooded towels, wash cloths, etc. There's a couple from one of my baby classes that I know is in a tight spot financially and being in that same position, I was wanting to offer them some of our overflow, but don't want to end up short-changing my own family.
I think as a newborn we went through something like 4 swaddles a day (used them as blankets and burp cloths), maybe four washcloths a day (once my son started eating food). Towels maybe 2 a week.
disneybaby84
member
Re: Ask a STM week 2/27
- What was the one thing in labor that surprised you the most?
- What was the one thing about a newborn that surprised you the most?
Samantha - 4/5/2017
- Surprising thing about newborns: That they aren't as fragile as you think. Sure, you should be careful and do your best to support their heads etc, but they're pretty resilient.
- Their cries are totally different. My one guy sounds like a tea kettle when he's angry, and like a squeaky mouse when he's hungry. The other one is more chill and generally doesn't cry when he's hungry, he just starts smacking his lips.
i agree with @direwolfmini that newborns are definitely sturdier that they look. my DS was a bit of an over achiever in that he was lifting and holding up his head in his first week. freaked my dad out! lol
The thing that has surprised me about newborns, especially if they're full term, how they aren't as fragile. But my 37 weeker is definitely not nearly as coordinated as his 41 week brother was.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
Also I was surprised at just how much newborns sleep. I really thought I would need DH's help the first week, turns out we just hung out at watched movies while the baby slept all the time. This time I am getting help because of the toddler!
newborn: how everything just kinda clicked-and mama mode was here to stay
The most unexpected thing about newborns for me was their little sounds. My daughter was a squeaker, when stretching, eating, pooping, hanging out, sleeping. We called her Squeeks. My son caught me by surprise with how difficult he was to read. I could never tell if he was hungry or tired, he just fussed and cried constantly for 8 months of his life. Swaddle, no swaddle, feed, change, undress, nothing seemed to matter except when I sat perfectly still holding him! And I'm always surprised at how much I love them
Newborn: how much I could not stand to be away from him or have anyone else hold him. Also how I never got that instantly connected and in love feeling. Our bond grew gradually over the first couple of weeks.
newborn: still don't know, one day i'll take him home and learn what i don't know.
Newborn: Yes! The noises drove me insane and my son ended up in his own room at 2.5 weeks so I could sleep. I was also surprised at how much care was needed for his circumcision.. FYI to moms who choose that route.
1 Samuel 1:27
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Newborn: The momma bear instinct kicks in immediately. I didn't want to sleep because I wanted to be the only one who took care of him at all times.
TAKE IT EASY.
Even if you feel like recovery is easier the second or third time around, be sure to care for yourself! Don't lift heavy objects. Don't clean the house right away. Don't pick up your toddlers the first week. Sit down and have them climb on your lap. REST.
I did too much too soon (went to the park the day after delivery, picked up two kids at once, went shopping with 3 kids etc etc) and today my postpartum bleeding got really bad. (It's not dangerous but my body is definitely telling me to slow down)
So I wanted to remind you guys to relax. Chores will get done later.
1 Samuel 1:27
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Baby- As others have said, how sturdy a newborn is! My first was 34 weeks and so tiny, this 7 lb 37 weeker is awesome! Also, all through this pregnancy I've been worried that I'd hate the baby stage. A huge part of me was just sorta over the little baby stage and while I wanted another child, I didn't really want another baby (not sure if that makes sense). I was so wrong!! I am so in love with nursing again, snuggles, etc. I forgot about all the hormones that kick in to make the transition easier!
Also, I second what @Cbeanz said!!! Take it easy if you have a toddler! I too over did it and am hurting more now than I did 2 days after! Don't pick up the toddler..I repeat, DO NOT pick up the toddler. It feels like your uterus might fall out.
Finally, don't be surprised if you lose control of your bladder. No one warned me, and I didn't have an issue after my first. This time, if my bladder gets to full, I just pee. I can't stop it at all and have peed myself multiple times. It's gotten a bit better, but is still an issue. My Dr explained that it's like hitting your funny bone, its tingly, doesn't have feeling, etc for awhile but will eventually get better!
Sorry this is is a book!
Agree @Lexxilou1986 I too quickly realized I need to give myself wayyy more grace and time in recovery... in may be a badass... but I'm not Wonder Woman -- STM or FTM, labor and delivery is a crazy process and we need to show our bodies grace and patience and lots of time to heal!
Anyone else have experience with something like this postpartum??
@longliveregina my milk is coming in great, and don't have a fever, barely even bleeding otherwise... which is why I'm not overly concerned about it being a huge issue. My discharge paperwork had every kind of "please call if..." for bleeding and dishcharge excerpt for this. Haha.
I can find just about anything to worry about, it's a special talent.
I'd say **if** it does break somewhere like that where you wouldn't notice, and **if** you weren't already in labor so you'd be heading to the hospital at some point soon anyway ... you'd notice sooner or later before it was an issue. Both times I was in labor I had seporate gushes/trickles after it broke as baby moved around. Plus water keeps replenishing for baby even after it breaks. So I'd say definitely you'd notice before it was emergent that it happened!