March 2017 Moms
kjd291
member
STM Check-In (Third and fourth timers too!)
kjd291
member
Hey Hey Hey STMama(s)
I decided I'd love a place for us to check in with how our littles are interacting/ask-share advice about being moms to more than one! Ect. and spare all the FTMs on the board of the things they don't need to think about.
I know we had a couple random check-in threads before-and one encouraging longer post a while back that I loved!
so---share away!
If you want some format to start: remind us:
When are you due/How old is baby?
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM:
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans:
I decided I'd love a place for us to check in with how our littles are interacting/ask-share advice about being moms to more than one! Ect. and spare all the FTMs on the board of the things they don't need to think about.
I know we had a couple random check-in threads before-and one encouraging longer post a while back that I loved!
so---share away!
If you want some format to start: remind us:
When are you due/How old is baby?
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM:
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans:
Re: STM Check-In (Third and fourth timers too!)
This is such a good idea!
When are you due/How old is baby? due March 25th!
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: just the general anxiety of going from two to three. I grew up with four brothers so I'm not a stranger to how messy, expensive, and chaotic it can be but am of course nervous about experiencing it all for myself as a parent. I love kids and babies especially so I'm super excited as well- its a weird conflict in my heart haha. Just praying for strength and patience to take it all one day at a time and to never lose my sense of humour!
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : so far my toddlers have been excellent- no tantrums or disciplinary issues, they eat well and sleep well and are as helpful, respectful and polite as a toddler can be expected to be, so I have a false sense of "hell yeah, I got this" that I know will be crushed one day lol. I love them so very much and they are truly my best friends. I can't imagine life without my littles! I'm looking forward to seeing a third little face when I wake up in the morning too
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
Just curious about how the transition from 2-3 was for the moms who are 3rd timers and up!
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: stay at home mom and loving it. Though I fully intend to get a job once the kids are in school but I've got a few years there haha.
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: I think I have the same concern that most moms have about going from one kid to two: that my current kid who gets all of our attention will now have to share mommy and daddy and that makes me nervous. I know my son will be just fine, but it still makes me sad to think about it. Thankfully for a 2 year old he's pretty easy. He sleeps through the night, is polite, likes to clean up after himself, etc, so I'm kind of nervous about the second kid curse.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I'm looking forward to the day when the second one is able to be active and both kids can play together. I know my son will be a great big brother and will lead the way. I also can't wait for them to have pictures together. I love looking at pics of toddlers and babies. Warms my heart.
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ Question: anyone have kids that are night and day from each other? My kid is so well behaved and easy that I'm afraid that it won't be so easy the second time around.
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: Definitely plan to return to work. As much as I love having my kid around, honestly being a SAHM isn't for me. I enjoy working and earning my own paycheck and I also need that mental break away from the kids. Daycare is expensive but it's a godsend!
When are you due/How old is baby? Due March 17th!
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: My son is such a snuggle bug, so I'm currently stressing out about having to be a needed mommy by two.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I cannot wait to see James become a big brother and whether he is going to be a big brother to a sister or if I'm going to have "brothers"
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions: Biggest concern for me is how the heck am I going to cook dinner?! My husband takes the train into Boston and his days are typically 12 hours door-to-door.. which means we eat late and eating as a family is important to us, so it only makes sense that I cook.
Also.. stressing out about childcare. Right now we have my mom, MIL and family friend who watch James. I've approached the conversation with my mom and family friend but am waiting for my husband to talk to his mom. I realize that going from 1 to 2 is a big deal in asking people to watch your children but also don't want to do the daycare route. So... huge concern as to what is going to happen next year (school year).
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: I'm a teacher.. hoping to extend my maternity leave into the summer and get to spend 5 months with this one. My district is being ridiculous.. so I may need to return for 10-15 days.. but if it means I get health insurance back then it may be worth it.
1 Samuel 1:27
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kiyamurph I'm with you other than not sleeping DS is sooo easy going. He was an aweosme newborn etc. I'm slightly terrified I'll get a polar opposite lo. On the positive side maybe she'll sleep!!?! :-)
When are you due/How old is baby?
due tmw!
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Harrison Kent turns 18 mo the 15th of this month
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM:
He still doesn't STTN.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :
I'm so stinkin excited for him to be a big brother!
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
The sleep thing. Boy am I terrified. DS now gets out of bed and comes to our bed but I know that's not going to work. I really have NO plan. I have a bassinet and a cosleeper for her to be in depending on what she prefers. But she can't be in the cosleeper with him in the bed too... bleh. I know I'll figure something out. Just wish I had a general.plan.
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans:
SAHM since DS was born and will be for the rest of 2017. Ill go back probably Jan/March 2018. So I call myself a temp SAHM.
When are you due/How old is baby? Due 3/27
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: kind of nervous about my daughter she has gotten very clingy since I got pregnant and it has only gotten worse the closer I get to the baby being born. Since our kids are so far apart in age they grew up alone for those younger years. When my DS was born my son has just started school and he mostly played alone when he came home. She on the other hand could play by herself but with her being the first granddaughter on both sides she got a ton of attention. I think she feels like we are going to forget about her so now she is in your face with antics. Today she made a tiara and just had to show hubby and I. My husband says she is starting to display the typical middle child don't forget about me syndrome.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :
I'm just ready to see how this will play out. 3 vs 2 ESP since we were much younger with the others.
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: I plan on not going back into the classroom. At a minimum I'll be out for the rest of the school year. My husband and I work part time for a financial services company so I'm looking to increase that and I'm studying for my securities license as well as a bookkeeper certification. Prayerfully I can do both of those from home and be done with public education.
Thanks @kjd291 for starting this! Hope all is going well with your new little lady!
@silverbulletband
@silverbulletbandtotally feel you on the false sense of "I got this" and anticipating the crash and burn moment to come.....
@kiyamurph@vino831
also worried about the dreaded "second child curse"! Everyone keeps saying number 2 is going to give us a run for our money.... maybe we will all be blessed with babes similar in temperament to #1.
Also trying to take it easy and make my husband do everything this weekend. Just getting packed and home from the hospital had me feeling like I way over did it: if I get up for too long I get weak and dizzy. Not sure if it's from my excess blood loss or just labor in general.
SO couch and phone time it is!
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When are you due/How old is baby? Natalie is 2 days old!
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: I've only been home half a day--but it's already easier to just be IN the transition and challenges instead of spending so much time worrying about the impending arrival of number two and how it will work out.
Worried because oldest is only 18mo-is a very clingy/dependent on mom kid! DH is home for a full week so for now just hoping that week makes a huge dent in the transition.
I'm still nervous about constant nursing and how to entertain a clingy toddler! Only current fool-proof idea is offering a bath-durint a feed time because DD1 loves taking baths/so I plan to sit on the toilet while nursing for the 20-30min.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : While I was in labor one happy thought that got me through was of being able to have that moment where Nora came to meet her sister!!
When Natalie was born super fast and I saw it was only 5pm when I was done pushing: I immediately reached for my phone and told my mom to bring her to meet her sister!
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ I'm so bummed about having a winter baby. I think it would be so much easier to have this baby a month or two from now to spend time outside with these kiddos! Walks, playtime, or just spreading out a blanket on the lawn would help immensely.
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GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: SAHM since having DD1 a year and a half ago. Planning on staying home until I'm done having babies ((THINK i still want one or two more) but I miss work and social life SO much. The SAHM struggle is real!!
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like! Thad turned 3 yesterday.
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: Making sure Thad doesn't feel ignored. It's been a hard week while Atticus was in the hospital, but I'm hoping we find a groove now.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : Thad gets really anxious sometimes, especially about loud sounds. He doesn't act out or anything, you can just sense his anxiety. He was definitely that way in the hospital, but he seems to be warming up and cares about Atticus... it's awesome to see.
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ Thankful Thad is a pretty easy kid. I'd also forgotten how much newborns sleep. Like. Anywhere.
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans Returning to work, probably at the end of April/beginning of May. Hoping to work from home for a couple weeks before returning to the office. I have the utmost respect for SAHMs. I wish I had longer at home, but I would go crazy if I were home all the time.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
@silverbulletband good reminder to "keep your sense of humor!" I often forget that should be on the list of priorities! Too often between focusing on organization, housework, discipline (etc) you forget laughter and just enjoying life is key!
@kiyamurph agree!! Terrified of the "second kid curse"! Guess only time will tell which personalities come with these new littles!
@shines721 that's annoying that you'd have to return for a few days--but yes! Totally worth it for the perks! Hope it ends up being as few days as possible!
RE-dinner. I assume your guy still takes naps? I'm planning (we'll see how it goes) on doing all my dinner prep/cooking during older kids afternoon naptime - either crockpot stuff that will be all ready for dinner or cooking and readu to reheat. That way I know I'll only have one kid awake--AND lots of baby-wearing.
@vino831 happy ((in a few hrs) due date!! Whoop whoop!
I also am in the same sleep boat--have no plan. Just trying to take it one night at a time. DD1 usually wakes up and climbs into bed with us... and we're co-sleeping with DD2 while I nurse.
We got a big kid bed for DD1 (twin bed on the floor in her room) and one option/thing to attempt is for DH to go in and lay with her in there.
DH somewhat jokingly said we should just get a king size bed instead of even trying to win the sleep battle... because let's be honest--most nights it'll be 4in a bed. Hah.
My only "plan" is to make sure that if this happens I always put myself between the two kids so I can use the co-sleeper. We re-arranged our room to push our bed up against a wall so we can get as much space as possible by setting baby up against the wall.
@hisqueen78 no experience with older kids--other than BEING a sister of a sister who was 8years younger. If she's like me--sure your daughter will love the attention she gets from you just by letting her be a little mommy/helper in raising her sister!
@julievdm12 no worries lady! Never too Late to jump in more
@datalover13 I said it elsewhere! But welcome home!!! I hope you can get settled after a long week in the hospital and get into a great groove with your boys! AND yes! What a godsend that newborns sleep so well anywhere and so much! Going to take advantafw of that as much as possible these first weeks
@vino831 My son is also a shocking sleeper. For now we are in survival mode, with me catching as many zzzs as I can, but eventually my son and Alice and I will all be rooming together just for my sanity.
@kjd291 Youknow, I'm struggling more physically this time too even though my labor and pushing was way fast. My cramping is worse (never needed Motrin last time) and I'm just sore and lightheaded. My poor toddler just wants me to pick him up and I definitely can't do it comfortably. STM thing, maybe?
@datalover13 Can Atti come and clue Alice in about the whole sleeping thing???
When/How old is baby? 51 hours
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: Nervous about my relationship with my son. He is struggling and acting out in sweet ways. He had a meltdown today because. Daddy helped him out of his seat instead of mommy. Ten after his nap he had another meltdown when He woke up from his nap and I couldn't pick him up. (he's in a floor bed; he doesn't need help out of it) During this meltdown I Sat on the couch with him as he yelled about having fruit snacks and asked, "Are you sad about mommy being in the hospital?" Immediate floodgate of tears. I told him that I was going to be home every day and I was NOT going back to the hospital. He cried some more on my shoulder, then happily are his fruit snacks. I got three unsolicited kisses after that conversation.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : see above
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ iI totally forgot how to take care of a newborn. Like, I forgot burping is a thing.
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans
See above replies.
Asher is 1 day old
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Catherine (Cate) is 2.5 yrs old
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM:
Staying at the hospital away from Cate has been hard, because it is my first time being away from her...although she doesn't seem to care nearly as much as I do. I'm a little nervous because Cate is super confident, and seems to have no concept of the fact that she can't do certain things, like feed the baby her chicken nugget (yes, that happened today). I'm worried that I'll have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn't do things like just trying to pick him up when he fusses, etc.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :
Watching Cate with Asher has been amazing. She loves him and wants to hold and kiss him and snuggle him. Highlight of my day was when I was about to feed him and I told her he was hungry, and she turned and held up her nugget to him and said "Look Asher! I'm hungry too. I have nuggets!" (Then while I was working on getting myself situated to nurse she tried to share the nugget with him.
Bring on the pain meds!
@catybug820 that is super duper adorable about Cate and the chicken nugget!! Thad looks at his brother every once in awhile and will give him kisses, but hasn't been big on trying to pick him up or hold him yet. I'm okay with that for now.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
1 Samuel 1:27
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How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: middle child syndrome... DD1 is doing great and has been through the big sister thing already. She's helpful and gentle and very secure with us so doesn't seem afraid of having another sister. But DD2 is having an identity crisis! If we call her "big girl" she says she's not a big girl. If we call her "baby" now she says she's not a baby. She says she doesn't like the new baby. "I don't like her she's bad". Poor thing. I wish she knew how much we love her and that she could never be replaced.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : loving the newborn phase again. It's just so freaking easy after dealing with toddlers.
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ Three is a handful!
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: I'm a chemist. I'll go back to work eventually. The current plan is to return by November but it could change depending on how I feel (I get paid 4 months, the rest unpaid). I love being home with a baby! But I don't love being home with all 3 at once, I can't seem to keep my act together. So they'll be in preschool part time.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
Yeah....
My mil is sitting on the couch hogging my baby for the last TWO HOURS while I clean. At least it let me put my toddler down for his nap. During this time my H and I have done dishes, done laundry, and cleaned up my son's toys. And she keeps sniffling and blowing her nose. She insists it's allergies and I don't have the balls to contradict her.
What is wrong with people?
ETA:
I stole her back!
BUT this is why I have zero family in town until I'm ready for them (easier to do when they are all out of state and im not telling them.when I go into labor)
@kjd291 this is exactly what I forsee happening.
I guess I'm just not sure how it will work once DS comes in and falls asleep on the outside side of me, DD is in the middle/cosleeper - What happens when I need to change DD's diaper?! (It's these random things I think about lol) Guess it could be DHs job!
When are you due/How old is baby?
Gwendolyn will be exactly one week old in 5 hours!
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Isaac is 2... approaching 2.5
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM:
I'm hyper sensitive about this being hard for Isaac. He is handling it very well so far, but I know it must be hard on him and it's crazy hard on me just knowing that!
Unfortunately, DH came down with a bad cold this weekend, so he hasn't been touching or holding the baby at all. He and I have been basically each functioning as single parents-- he handles the toddler and I take care of the baby. I feel like Isaac need someone me right now too but the baby has been quite demanding of my time. Hoping DH Gets better asap.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :
It was a bit surprising for both DH and I to see how obsessed Isaac immediately became with his new baby sister. Seeing how much he loves her is amazing and totally surpassed my expectations.
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
Ugh days 5 and 6 PP are so hard for me emotionally. I just feel like crying ALL the time!
Someone else mentioned about forgetting that burping is a thing... I'd have to go back and look to remember who but TB is being glitchy for me right now. However, let me just say: ME TOO!! Totally forgot all about it until my nurse gently reminded me! Lol.
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans:
When are you due/How old is baby? Due 3/18
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: Not really worried, but just curious how the logistics of going out with three kids will work, getting them in and out of the car, carrying them, getting everyone ready to go, and dealing with bedtime, night wakeups, early mornings, etc when there's no routine with a newborn.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : My kids are so excited to have a new baby, and I know they will do so great, I just can't wait to see them all interact! Plus I miss having a baby, my kids seem so old!
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ I'd love to hear from other third or more time moms, especially with kids close together, how they do things like car trips, walking to and from places without having to carry multiple kids, how to manage bedtime, etc.
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: I stay at home and do a little work from home. No formal "leave" from that, I just keep going right away. SaveSave
#2 3/2015
#3 3/2017
#4 10/2019
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: I'm a SAHM so nervous about being home alone with the both of them all day. DH will be gone for 2 weeks soon too so add that to the stress. Besides that just waiting for baby's belly to catch up with supply.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : We've had some really cute moments with DS and DD which was sweet. He's definitely had jealous moments too so these help balance them out. I love how she seems to just fit in our family. Like she's always been apart of our lives we were just waiting for her to arrive.
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ Props to all moms who do this more than twice! I love my babes but I am so sure that we are done.
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: SAHM...thankful that nice weather will be arriving sooner than later
I feel the same way @Gators&BoSox !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: I am most concerned about DS learning that it isn't all about him any longer. He's super excited to be a big brother, but we'll see what happens when baby is here!
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I'm excited to see DS learn all about his sister! He literally cannot wait for her to arrive.
Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ I'm hoping the age gap will make for a great helper. Ty is really self sufficient, so hopefully he doesn't regress, and the kid can bring me food/drinks when I'm stuck under a nursing newborn.
GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: I'll be going back part time for a few weeks at 2 weeks post-partum. It sounds crazy, but I did that with DS too, and it worked out good. It's just a really crazy time of year for me at work, plus I don't have paid maternity leave, and I'm the bread winner in the household. I only have 5 1/2 weeks of vacation, and don't want to burn it all at once. Ugh.
is anyone else finding it wicked hard to take it easy? I know I've been over doing it between picking up DS and cleaning. I'm not concerned but definitely bleeding more than I probably should be... I just hate looking at the house after a toddler tornado but I'm trying to resist
I can't imagine having hubby's impending absence hanging over your heads like that. I'll be thinking of you both often!
So we don't have any family in the area. If I REALLY needed the MIL could come up (she's about 6 hr south) but let's just say.. did you see @longliveregina's recent post about her MIL "helping"? That's what I would get.
"Oh I'll hold the baby so you can (make dinner/change toddlers diaper/clean the kitchen) NO thank you! I'd rather suffer without the comments and judgments
Ofc if anything doesn't go as planned I'll suck it up and ask her up.
What about you? Any help?
I have already been reminiscing (not in a good way) about how that happened when Sophia was born and making mental notes not to let it happen again. I definitely went through a phase of her for a few days I felt like I only got to hold her when she was thinking and is needing to eat. Definitely did not help with the whole bonding process. Really hoping to have the balls to be able to tell people when I just need to have my baby back and they can just deal with it. (Way easier in my head than actually doing it, but a girl can plan right?)
I wish we lived in like a commune together so we could help you ladies out that are gonna be without hubbies!!
im definitely having a hard time taking it easy. Getting so weak and dizzy. But I want to do basic things myself and give DD1 attention/help too. Not sure if it's worse because I had hemorrhaging/excess blood loss. But it's definitely not like last postpartum timeline. I thought I'd feel a little better by now.
I'm heading to a newborn appt this morning and worried about going alone and not being able to make it!
@julievdm12 thank you!
@kjd291 so sorry you're not feeling up to par yet! I too am surprised how this post partum has been more difficult.. I kind of thought it'd be the other way around. I hope your appointment is quick with no issues! We have one today too
Hope you have a good check up today! And maybe get some more assurance about her tummy catching up to your supply!
Ps-I love how it worked out we have Birthday buddies!
An dsorry you are still struggling with the trauma. Yours happened sometime after birth right? So it wasn't when ppl were around? Or??
Mine was immediately post birth-so it was all taken care of immediately-but was still so scary. I didn't share that part of my "birth story" but having people run in and out and different drugs being pumped in me different ways, and (almost more painful than birth) having my midwife up to her elbows inside me sweeping around pulling out giant clots!!
I hope you can have a stress free outing with babe to head to your appt-and maybe meeting with your doc can help you process some more of your birth experience! Hugs!!