Whoa shit got wild while I was at work for the first 5 hours.
The ONLY time I think second showers aren't tacky are when it's been an extended amount of time (like a decade) in between. It's been so long you basically are a FTM
In my neck of the woods a shower is for showering you into motherhood, not to provide items for the baby. The gift thing drives me nuts. The fact of expecting anyone to provide for your child is poor taste (in my village, at least). Expecting gifts? Wanting a shower for gifts? Nope!
+1 for leashes.
But these are my UO's, I'm just here sipping tea, and rest assured my opinions will not effect your life at all.
"Showering you into Motherhood." Actually very well put and something that has never really been explained to me in that way. Like I said, everyone I know throws a huge bash for every baby...but if you're thinking of it from this perspective, yes, second baby showers seem totally tacky.
"You're too funny! I studied business communication in college, which is most likely where I get some of my tact from. Showers can be such a touchy subject, I find that hilarious. This thread has been fun today!"
It most definately can be, that's for sure. It either seems like you are against it or for it. I think that there are pros and cons for each scenario. To each their own, but I see no issue in discussing and dissecting both points of view, and almost always take something useful away from it. Your prior business major must have something to do with your eloquence. I studied mostly biology and chemistry, it is mostly factual or experimental and does not require much tact. This is my excuse, jk. I am glad we provided you with some entertainment today. I felt that things were slow
@CarsonsMommy Yeah it may have been a slow day but I was in finance lectures all afternoon so it was a pleasant change of pace for me to check in here! Have a great night
@Dcwtada I guess I should have mentioned this. This is our first baby, so it isn't a second shower.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Nobody is even arguing against first showers, that I can tell! I am personally against having one because I don't have many people to invite, and if my mom has her way, she wants to invite all of her extended family - honestly, I'm just tired of only seeing those people when money/gifts are exchanged. I feel weird about it.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
@GlitterFish Maybe I missed something? It seemed like the argument was against showers in general. It's possible I totally missed that nuance though.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Oh I have no issue at all with a shower for a first baby and I have no issues with people giving or getting gifts for a second baby if there is no expectation - a formal second shower was all I had mentioned in my comments. Somehow the conversation took a turn against any shower. Believe me I can't be anti-shower as I had one for my first.
Alright I totally missed the turn off. Thanks for clarifying
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I have no issue with baby showers. I think the conversation went there when someone tried to defend their point by saying any party is tacky if the purpose is only to complete the registry. But I disagree. I love going to baby showers and buying gifts for a new mom. I enjoy giving a gift of something that I found particularly useful in the newborn stages (I usually give A+A blankets at showers) and helping a new mom to get something really cool or somewhat frivolous that they may otherwise choose not to spend money on. And seeing what other people chose to give and ooo-ing and ahh-ing over the cute clothes. And then going to the shower and sharing battle stories and giving advice or whatever. I truly enjoy it, and I've been known to buy gifts for people I don't even like that much.
But it's completely different when it's a mom who has been through it before. It's just not as fun. If I was invited to a second shower or sprinkle for my BFF, I would show up with a small gift and a smile on my face, just because I'm not one to turn down a slice of cake. But I would definitely prefer to wait until the baby is born, and bring a gift when I first get to meet the baby. TBH, I think the worst etiquette in this conversation is the assertion that someone would show up to a baby shower (even a second shower) empty handed because "the purpose is just to gather with friends/family."
Oh my gosh @AdaByron I love A+A blankets, especially for summer babies - you can swaddle without feeling like you are going to overheat or suffocate them and they are just so soft and nice. I was PISSED I didn't discover them until my second baby.
Oh my gosh @AdaByron I love A+A blankets, especially for summer babies - you can swaddle without feeling like you are going to overheat or suffocate them and they are just so soft and nice. I was PISSED I didn't discover them until my second baby.
They're great for swaddling. I could never get it tight enough with other blankets. I ended up with at least a dozen of them because two different people bought them from my registry (Target registry sucks at marking what has been purchased) and then there was a sale on Amazon for the jungle animal set that I couldn't turn down. So I used them for everything. Tummy time, swaddle, sun shield in the car/stroller, burp cloth, support under his butt in the Ergo, I would just grab the closest blanket and wipe spit up, drool, snot, breast milk, whatever, and then toss it in the laundry. And the more you wash them, the softer they get! At my SIL's shower I gave her A+A blankets, bibs, burp cloths, loveys, everything I could find. I'm thinking about getting A+A crib sheets for this baby.
@AdaByron we use A+A crib sheets and they are awesome. Only issue I have is that they are pretty thin so if your crib mattress has a darkish design on it then it will show through. I had to put a plain white sheet under the A+A one but for me it wasn't a big deal. We also have the changing pad cover and it is much thicker, don't know why they wouldn't make the sheets the same way.
Oh my gosh @AdaByron I love A+A blankets, especially for summer babies - you can swaddle without feeling like you are going to overheat or suffocate them and they are just so soft and nice. I was PISSED I didn't discover them until my second baby.
They're great for swaddling. I could never get it tight enough with other blankets. I ended up with at least a dozen of them because two different people bought them from my registry (Target registry sucks at marking what has been purchased) and then there was a sale on Amazon for the jungle animal set that I couldn't turn down. So I used them for everything. Tummy time, swaddle, sun shield in the car/stroller, burp cloth, support under his butt in the Ergo, I would just grab the closest blanket and wipe spit up, drool, snot, breast milk, whatever, and then toss it in the laundry. And the more you wash them, the softer they get! At my SIL's shower I gave her A+A blankets, bibs, burp cloths, loveys, everything I could find. I'm thinking about getting A+A crib sheets for this baby.
STUCK IN BOX! Yes! They can be used for ANYTHING. So wonderful. Don't even bother buying tiny burp clothes. I had some gift cards from a shower gift and I bought a lot of them! My DH thought I was mad to 'waste' my money on them since they are expensive....but it was one of our most used items next to the boppy! Worth every penny. I will buy more for next baby because I used them for everything and they were constantly in the wash. I want the jungle animals ones, too!!!!
@lovelee85 I'll definitely need to get more for the next baby too, because DS still uses his. He sleeps with them every night. I love that his "comfort item" is something we have a bunch of. We can keep one at daycare, and never have to worry about losing it or having it in the laundry at bedtime.
My UO is that I don't belong in the eco-mom thread at all!
*snip*
Me when I opened the eco mom thread:
That's totally me when I see the thread on the main page. I don't really have a crunchy bone in my body. Not clicking on the thread. My friend who says I should do this or that because of the environment or it's healthier really doesn't know me at all...and has NO idea what I do on a daily basis.
Married: 10/13/2013
TTC #1: Mirena removed 5/26/2015; DH - normal SA, me - diagnosed with PCOS 8/4/2016 - on Metformin; BFP - 10/29/2016!!!, EDD - 7/8/2017; DD born 6/29/2017
Nobody is even arguing against first showers, that I can tell! I am personally against having one because I don't have many people to invite, and if my mom has her way, she wants to invite all of her extended family - honestly, I'm just tired of only seeing those people when money/gifts are exchanged. I feel weird about it.
@caribbeanmama Fear of missing out. (I actually know this one!!)
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
My UO is that I don't belong in the eco-mom thread at all!
*snip*
Me when I opened the eco mom thread:
That's totally me when I see the thread on the main page. I don't really have a crunchy bone in my body. Not clicking on the thread. My friend who says I should do this or that because of the environment or it's healthier really doesn't know me at all...and has NO idea what I do on a daily basis.
I clicked on it once and now I will forever have the yellow flag of 40+ unread replies. Damnit!
Is she back with a Z in her handle again? I am clueless to these things. Although, I can usually guess the murderer on L&O after about 10 minutes of the episode, so maybe I'm just not an online detective.
I won't have a shower for my second. Especially if I have another boy. We might do a little "sprinkle" with just family before the baby comes just to celebrate something wonderful is about to happen! My baby shower with DS was small with just a few friends and family and it was nice. For me I think it's more about celebrating the mom and new baby and gifts are not the main focus.
Responding to a UO from a while ago... If I didn't let my son CIO at 8 months he would still be sleeping in my bed. Which I suppose is a UO as well! He's a happy, loving, well adjusted 18 month old who sleeps 12 hours a night.
In regards to 2nd showers, if someone special nice enough to throw one for you and you don't mind the attention go for it. It is the norm in my area, it is called a sprinkle. I will say gifts for the event generally depend on the circumstances. My best friend was having another girl so we did a spa day & dinner, we all chipped in to pay for the mom to be and all gave her a few outfits. When I found out I was having twins my best friend and sister in law decided to throw me a luncheon and call it a sprinkle. They begged me to register, and I did but made them promise not to include it on the registry only if invitees asked. We were so greatful to our close family and friends who really helped us out. Babies are expensive and everyone's circumstances are different. I believe most parents will figure it our regardless but it sure is nice to have help. Now I totally agree that anyone you haven't seen/talked to since forever should not be invited. Showers are for close friends and family who want to be there.
Lurking from 2015 (because I'm totally jealous of all the pregnant ladies!): About the bolded, I think this depends on where you're from, too. I generally feel the same way, but when I was making my guest list, I deliberately left off my cousin-in-law's mom, even though I helped throw said cousin's shower, because it felt too gift grabby to invite her. Cousin-in-law called me the week before the shower and asked if she could bring her mom and twin sister's because they were hurt that they didn't get invited so she lied and told them their invite was included with hers and she forgot to give it to them. I was so shocked that they even cared enough to come! All of them showed up and brought gifts, also! So I really think it might be regional (I'm from the Deep South).
@aulrey92 Not to restart this whole thing, but my area is the same. I still think I offended some people because I didn't invite them to our wedding even though my husband had only met them once or twice in his life. I happen to be in the northeast though. Although I rarely see a lot of these people except for things like this, that's how we get together, see each other, and celebrate. It's way ruder to not invite them.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@aulrey92 Agree that there are definitely regional trends... and family-specific trends. I'm from a WASPy northeast family, and I don't even think I'm going to have a shower or publicly register, and this is my first. My brother and his wife, who had a baby last fall (the first in the next generation), didn't register - she just had a small family shower thrown by her mom. Another factor is that I have a very small group of good friends, and one of them is getting married herself this September, so I feel uncomfortable throwing a shower for myself a couple of months before that to make it all about me again so soon after my 2015 wedding.
I highly doubt this decision would offend anyone. In fact, my parents would probably support it (they didn't even want us to register for wedding gifts because my husband's career is established and they felt a wedding registry is supposed to be for people who are just starting out, but that's another story). Hey, if my mom or a friend surprises me and says she'd like to throw something, I'd of course say yes and be happy, but the chances are SLIM without me instigating, and I don't think I will.
I made everyone in my immediate family get a whooping cough vaccine. I might get $&@t for it but I don't care. Also, I cancel plans if I know that people are really sick wherever it is I'm going. I don't get enough sleep as it is, the last thing I need is for my toddler or myself to get sick...we can start those good times when the kids start school.
I made everyone in my immediate family get a whooping cough vaccine. I might get $&@t for it but I don't care. Also, I cancel plans if I know that people are really sick wherever it is I'm going. I don't get enough sleep as it is, the last thing I need is for my toddler or myself to get sick...we can start those good times when the kids start school.
Just a FYI that this thread is 1) an old thread and usually resurrecting old threads isn't something that's done. 2) Unpopular Opinion (UO) threads are a weekly thing so there are more recent UO threads that this could have been posted on (since the one for this past week was removed).
Me:28 | DH: 28 Married: 07-2014 TTC #1: Since November 2015 Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016 due to previous issues. ***TW*** BFP: 11/4/2016 *TW*
Re: Unpopular Opinions 1-26-17
It most definately can be, that's for sure. It either seems like you are against it or for it. I think that there are pros and cons for each scenario. To each their own, but I see no issue in discussing and dissecting both points of view, and almost always take something useful away from it. Your prior business major must have something to do with your eloquence. I studied mostly biology and chemistry, it is mostly factual or experimental and does not require much tact. This is my excuse, jk. I am glad we provided you with some entertainment today. I felt that things were slow
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I am personally against having one because I don't have many people to invite, and if my mom has her way, she wants to invite all of her extended family - honestly, I'm just tired of only seeing those people when money/gifts are exchanged. I feel weird about it.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
But it's completely different when it's a mom who has been through it before. It's just not as fun. If I was invited to a second shower or sprinkle for my BFF, I would show up with a small gift and a smile on my face, just because I'm not one to turn down a slice of cake. But I would definitely prefer to wait until the baby is born, and bring a gift when I first get to meet the baby. TBH, I think the worst etiquette in this conversation is the assertion that someone would show up to a baby shower (even a second shower) empty handed because "the purpose is just to gather with friends/family."
Darn you FOMO!
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
Baby showers = SRS BSNS
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Responding to a UO from a while ago... If I didn't let my son CIO at 8 months he would still be sleeping in my bed. Which I suppose is a UO as well! He's a happy, loving, well adjusted 18 month old who sleeps 12 hours a night.
About the bolded, I think this depends on where you're from, too. I generally feel the same way, but when I was making my guest list, I deliberately left off my cousin-in-law's mom, even though I helped throw said cousin's shower, because it felt too gift grabby to invite her. Cousin-in-law called me the week before the shower and asked if she could bring her mom and twin sister's because they were hurt that they didn't get invited so she lied and told them their invite was included with hers and she forgot to give it to them. I was so shocked that they even cared enough to come! All of them showed up and brought gifts, also! So I really think it might be regional (I'm from the Deep South).
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I highly doubt this decision would offend anyone. In fact, my parents would probably support it (they didn't even want us to register for wedding gifts because my husband's career is established and they felt a wedding registry is supposed to be for people who are just starting out, but that's another story). Hey, if my mom or a friend surprises me and says she'd like to throw something, I'd of course say yes and be happy, but the chances are SLIM without me instigating, and I don't think I will.
Just a FYI that this thread is 1) an old thread and usually resurrecting old threads isn't something that's done. 2) Unpopular Opinion (UO) threads are a weekly thing so there are more recent UO threads that this could have been posted on (since the one for this past week was removed).
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*