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My light is a little dimmed... Introduction with loss mentioned

klpangrcicklpangrcic member
in Infertility
I am 28 years old and my husband is 31- we are currently TTC and it's been over 1 year. My husband was deployed for 6 months and that is when the baby bug bit me. I couldn't stop seeing young mothers with little newborns or toddlers and being overwhelmed with jealousy. I saw a woman struggling to keep two children under the age of 3 under control in an airport and I just wanted to be her--that's when I knew it was time for my husband and I to start trying for a baby. We've been married almost 3 years and been together for 12. Once we started trying (December 2015) we actually got pregnant in the first couple months and were so excited. It happened much faster than we had imagined but it was a very happy time. At 10 weeks, right before we were flying home to tell our families, I started spotting brown and knew something was wrong. I went to the ER and after hours of waiting and tests I was finally told that there was no heartbeat and the fetus looked like it had stopped developing a few weeks prior to me showing up at the hospital. I decided to naturally miscarry instead of having a D & C and it took over 3 weeks for the miscarriage to complete. This was back in June 2016. Since the miscarriage, we've been trying every month and no result. I've gone from taking my BBT and using OPK every month plus taking extra vitamins and eating brazil nuts/ every other "secret" to getting pregnant, to at this point basically wanting to give up because it's so stressful and emotionally, I'm spent. My husband had is SA completed with no irregularities, so I am going in for an HSG test soon to see if we can identify any issues. I've always had regular periods. I'm just a little down and discouraged. Hoping someone else might have the same experience and know how difficult it is to try to not get your hopes up every 4 weeks and then have your dreams come crashing down in the form of extreme menstrual cramps and tears. :( 
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Re: My light is a little dimmed... Introduction with loss mentioned

  • laurad75laurad75 member
    Welcome @klpangrcic.  I'm sorry you find yourself here but as you can clearly see from the daily activity on this board...you are not alone.  While all of us have a different story we have so much in common and I think you will find a lot of comfort in participating in our special community.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


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  • rainbowwishes5rainbowwishes5 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. You are welcome here :)
    Siggy Warning--------


    CP #1- due April 2017 lost 5.5 weeks
    cp #2- due May 2017 lost at 4.5 weeks
    iUI #1- BFN
    IUI #2-BFN
    IVF#1- transfer 2- BFP! Due October 2017 c/p#3 lost at 3.5 weeks
    Report Reply
  • mandasdmandasd member
    @klpangrcic I'm sorry you find yourself here. I would suggest asking your Obgyn to run a basic fertility panel. You may just need a little help with medication like clomid. Don't run out of hope yet, I know it can be stressful but there are lots your doctor can do for you! I also know stress of deployments, my husband is retired now but deployed 13 times in his 21 years of active duty! I'm don't know where you are located but the military does offer some fertility clinics in the US: DC, San Antonio, Tacoma, Honolulu and San Diego. Tricare does not cover IVF or IUI’s, and may have limited coverage for other procedures. They will cover some diagnostic testing. However, if you go through one of the programs at the base hospitals mentioned above, they cover almost everything. They cover all my testing, appointments, ultrasounds, meds and procedures except for the Embrologist which is done off site. They usually have a long waiting list to get into one of these clinics and you need a referral but can save you a lot of money. 
    Me: 37 / Hubs: 42
    TTC: April 2013
    DOR: AMH .3 - 1.31 (it varies); FSH: 5.1
    Clinic NMCSD
    IUI #1 July/Aug 2016
    IVF #1 Sep/Oct Microdose Lupron Protocol - IVF cancelled only 1 follicle
    IVF #2 Feb/Mar Antagonist protocol w/estrogen priming - 0 eggs retrieved (empty follicle syndrome) 
    Donor Egg Cycle as soon as we find a match
    Report Reply
  • AlohaKumuAlohaKumu member
    @klpangrcic As a military wife, I know what you're going through seeing a million babies around you and wishing it could be you. It's been so difficult for me, too, especially when I've feared that my DH would have to be in the field or go on a long duty, setting us back even more in the process. I am so sorry for your loss, especially since military life doesn't make any of this easier.

    When DH and I weren't having any results, I got basic testing for myself with my PCM and my husband did as well. (That's when we discovered that he has a 0 count.) It's good that you are moving forward with the testing. I know it seems like it takes forever to go through the process with Tricare, but you aren't alone. If you ever want to PM me to talk Tricare or military life, please don't hesitate to do so.
    Me: 35 DH: 28
    TTC since June 2016
    Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016
    AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017
    Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017
    October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
    29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total)
    Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen
    12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP
    2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN
    Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
    ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone
    Abnormal SIS Oct 2018
    Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis.
    12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN
    Our journey has come to an end.
    ~*~*~Nevertheless, she persisted~*~*~
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