Would you consider / allow your child (adopted) to see / meet their birth parent(s)?

SaphireSweetie88 · October 2016

NatalieGentry · October 2016

That is kind of a tricky question because if you are fostering you don't have a say in regards to if your foster child sees their birth parents or not, the courts decide that. Once the adoption if final then the choice is completely yours.

SaphireSweetie88 · October 2016

@NatalieGentry - True. I edited it to be more precise.

momof2buggs · October 2016

It's my understanding that most adoptions today are open, with some sort of contact agreement signed by both parties before finalization, to avoid birth parents being avoided by adoptive parents.

SaphireSweetie88 · October 2016

@momof2buggs

I that that varies state by state. I know where I live there's a choice and most do not go with open adoption.

momof2buggs · October 2016

That's sad. I personally would never agree to a closed adoption.

britters314 · October 2016

I feel like I would need to meet someone who has done an open adoption so I can better understand the logistics before I would know what to do. I know the pros, but I would need to see it. The only people I know who have adopted did closed adoptions. We are most likely going the foster care route, so of course it wouldn't be completely in my hands anyway.

SaphireSweetie88 · October 2016

@momof2buggs

I think there are some situations where a closed adoption is best - I am VERY glad it was a closed adoption when I got adopted. My biological mother was / is not a very good person to be around.

SaphireSweetie88 · October 2016

britters314 said:

I feel like I would need to meet someone who has done an open adoption so I can better understand the logistics before I would know what to do. I know the pros, but I would need to see it. The only people I know who have adopted did closed adoptions. We are most likely going the foster care route, so of course it wouldn't be completely in my hands anyway.

@britters314

That's a good point!

oneslybookworm · November 2016

We are hoping for an open adoption where our child will still have some relationship with the birth parents. Not sure if that's how it'll end up working out, but that's the goal.

agradi · December 2016

I know this is a potentially dead thread but, I am a birth mom and we are very lucky to be in our kiddos life pretty regularly. We talk to the family regularly and they have met our families. Feel free to ask any questions.

SaphireSweetie88 · December 2016

@agradi - Glad to hear you're still able to be a part of their lives.

sharjam6 · February 2017

I am adopted and have met and talked with my birth mom and half sisters on multiple occasions. It definitely depends on relationship with birth mother. Open adoptions are much easier for that kind of thing. Sometimes closed adoptions are closed because the mom wants absolutely no contact. As a child I loved the opportunity to know my birth mom. My parents told me I was adopted and we discussed it openly from a young age. She would call every year on my birthday and when I was very little sent me birthday presents. That is just my personal story though! I know it is different for every situation.

Axl2 · March 2017

My husband and I are doing open adoption. We put in our adoption profile that we would meet up twice a year and go from there. It really depends on the birth family. I think there is so many good things about the child meeting the birth family, and when the child wants to know stuff you can go straight to the birth mom. We have also decided that from day one the child will know he or she was placed for adoption. No secrets! In Canada if you go through a private agency you have to do open adoption.

britters314 · March 2017

@Axl2 You have to do an open adoption? What if the birth mother wants a closed adoption?

Axl2 · March 2017

When the birth mom goes to the adoption agency she knows it open adoption. That being said if the birth mom doesn't want to be in the child life that is her choose. I know a few couples who have adopted and the birth mom doesn't have much to do with the child. But that door is open if she wants to be part of the child life. We were told with instant placement theres a chance that the birth mom might not even be there when we get to the hospital.

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