Childcare Thread

kvruns · February 2017

thought it might be nice to have a catch all thread for all things childcare related

kvruns · February 2017

LO will be going to daycare probably around March 1. I'm a little worried about his naps and stuff because right now he is swaddled and has white noise and even then doesn't nap great all the time. If I were to just put him down in whatever he is wearing he wrigggles and flops around and wakes up in about 30 seconds. I'm afraid at how he will transition to daycare naps. Maybe it will just be a few bad days and he gets it?

Should I try putting him down differently leading up to daycare?

rspalding001 · February 2017

My DD was the same and I worried but they figure it out. And by they I mean the day care provider. I think for a while they literally held her for naps because swaddles were not allowed. Eventually they were able to put her down in a crib. I know it sounds terrible but I say let them do the work transitioning out of the swaddle.

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

I think it is worth a shot trying to put him down during the day in his clothes; maybe a little practice will help him develop a routine. If not, worst case is the daycare providers have to figure it out. I will admit my first one made a very easy transition to daycare and fell right in line to their schedule, so it was easy for us, but I do not see that happening with this LO and am trying to "train" him to some degree for their sake. (Though I have not dictated nap time. I just note what the consistent time he falls asleep is.)

That said I remember a few kids crying endlessly at DD's daycare for the first few weeks and now I see them grown, happy and well adjusted so some kids just need more time to acclimate. I wouldn't worry too much. Send him with things of comfort and plenty of food and let the providers find solutions that work for them.

Also, great thread idea. Thanks!

lajoliedreamer · February 2017

LO started daycare a couple weeks ago and her first week and a half she only slept maybe half an hour each eight hour day. She has been increasing her naps, and though they are never more than an hour, she is getting 2-3 a day now. The daycare staff are great about letting her fuss a little to see if she falls back asleep, but then picking her up and cuddling her if she doesn't. She has had a few days where she came home and slept for 3 hours, but then woke up for food and a bath and still gave us 4-6 hours sleep before her next feeding followed by another 2-4 hours of sleep. I've been thinking about weaning off swaddling anyway because when she wakes up in the middle of the night she tries to self soothe with her hands and spends a lot of time grunting and complaining while getting them out. Half the time she loosens the blanket just enough to move her arms, but they are still in the blanket so she covers her face up. But when I try to leave an arm out, it startles her awake when I put her down, so I haven't quite committed to the weaning yet, as scary as it is to go pick her up and find her with the blanket over her face.

RhodaMorgenstern · February 2017

A starts daycare on Friday. They require the first day be a half day and one parent stays with them. I'm doing it but feel like this is a terrible idea, won't she just be more upset when I don't stay on Monday?

lajoliedreamer · February 2017

@RhodaMorgenstern - I think at this age she won't make the connection on Monday. I had one morning where I went to drop E off and it was time for her to eat so I stayed and fed her before going and she was perfectly content chilling on a boppy as I left. It will be harder in a couple years when she can pull up those tears and say "don't go, Ima!"

RhodaMorgenstern · February 2017

@lajoliedreamer you're probably right. I'm just concerned because she screams when I walk out of her line of sight in the mornings. Ugh, I wish I worked somewhere that would let me telework...

lajoliedreamer · February 2017

@RhodaMorgenstern The key is distraction. Get her on a playmat, or on a boppy near other babies, or in one of the worker's arms so she doesn't see you go. It is much harder on you than her (I couldn't stop crying the first day I dropped her off), but it does get easier. *hugs*

rspalding001 · February 2017

@rhodamorgenstern the transition is way easier for the babies then it is for us I promise! Especially young babies... give it a week and I bet your LO will be doing just fine. Even if drop offs are difficult they usually are totally fine within minutes of you leaving. See if the day care will send you pictures for your peace of mind perhaps?

RhodaMorgenstern · February 2017

They send text updates twice a day. And she's 4 blocks from my office so I might sneak over on my lunch break to see how she's doing. I know, logically, that she'll be fine. I know it's just me that will be a mess.

Megz1902 · February 2017

Nora is wrapping up her first week at daycare. I am not back to work until Monday, so I stayed with her a bit the first 3 days and then yesterday was her first whole day, today will be another full day. I think I will feel more sad about it when I have to drop her off Monday and not be able to drop by in the middle of the day. I've been keeping busy running errands this week, but next week it will be too easy for my mind to drift to her at work. I worry because she doesn't seem to eat enough at daycare, she took 7 oz in 10 hours yesterday. Maybe I just need to give it time for her to get more used to the bottles, as she doesn't get many bottles at home, as I nurse her on demand when we are together. She seems to be making up for not eating the bottles, as she nurses frequently after I pick her up.

Is 10 hours pretty standard for how many hours a day kids are in daycare? I feel like its so long, but by the time I drop her off, drive to work, be at work 9 hours (8 working plus 1 hour lunch), then pick her up, thats nearly 10 hours... I'm trying to flex my schedule and DH's schedule to maybe get down to 9 hours. I just feel like we get so little time with her at home on weekdays when she is awake, since she gets to bed between 7:30 and 8:30.

I haven't even gone back to work yet and already am worried how I am going to do it all...baby, housework, dog, husband, career...oh and try to take care of myself... I'm ready to say screw the extra income, and stay home, and I haven't even actually gone back to work yet...

Anyone else?

rspalding001 · February 2017

@megz1902 I'd say 10 hours is pretty standard. That's what it was like for me when I put my daughter in day care in 2014. Honestly the only way to have it be less would be to not work full time which isn't realistic for a lot of families. Try not to worry about the bottles, it takes a while for them to adjust. Eventually they drink the same as they used to at home. 7 ozs isn't that bad. With my DD the first day she drank 2 oz, the second day 4 ha ha. I was super worried but eventually she was drinking a normal amount during the day again.

and don't worry about doing it all. Let your husband take care of himself, the housework can wait (or hire someone to come in once a month to help), maybe a neighbor kid can help with the dog? Regardless you will figure it out. Transitions are hard but you will find a new normal in no time. Hang in there Mama!

m6agua · February 2017

I feel very similar, but at this point we cannot afford for me to stay at home. I am looking for a job that is closer and thinking about going part time if my company would let me. I have been back to work for a week now and I don't get a lot of time with her. I get one MOTN feed before I leave for the morning (so not much interaction). I leave around 6:30 am, 40 minute commute, work 8 hours with 30 minute lunch, 40 minute commute home. I get home around 4:30 and I put her to bed between 7:30-8:30. She typically has a small nap somewhere in between that time.

I'm sad that I don't get as much time with her but I know its just how it needs to be. I am going to try and keep up my gym schedule of 1 hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays, this will give me even less time with her. But I need to take care of myself as well. So far I haven't done great at juggling dinner, housework, and the dog/cat when I get home because I focus on my LO until she goes to bed. Once she goes to bed I rush to get everything done so I can get some sleep. I figure eventually I will figure it all out and get some sort of routine. I think as she gets older it will be a bit easier as well to balance at least her and the animals.

The big thing getting me through is that she is cared for at my home by my parents and a friend. I am so thankful to have the childcare I have so I can save on costs.

lajoliedreamer · February 2017

@MegZ1902 - E is at daycare for about 9 hours. I felt how you did before going back to work (it's been five weeks already!) - totally unsure how I was going to juggle it all and ready to take the financial hit to stay home - but the benefit of being at work, using my brain, and having adult interaction has definitely made me glad that I didn't do that. My house is still a mess, my legs look like a bear's and my cat isn't getting enough attention, but I know that these things will improve as we settle more and more into the routine. This three-day weekend will hopefully give me the time I need to get my house in some semblance of order and get my body hair under control, but if it turns out I spend more time snuggling my stuffy baby, that's okay, too. (Beware the daycare cold - E has been fighting it for almost four weeks now. Thankfully no fever or cough, just runny nose, but it seems to be never ending.)

The first week is going to be the hardest - if you're like me, you won't be able to stop crying that first morning until you're focused on work - but you'll be alright. *hugs*

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

@megz1902 I felt the same way with our first and already tested up at the thought of this one going and he doesn't start for another month. These ladies are giving me reassurance that all will be well as it was with our first. I hope it's helping you too.

I will I'll admit that I was never able to carve out time for myself after our first baby and so I will probably not with this one either. Between the commute and work and the paper load (grading), it's either baby time or exercise and I choose baby even though it means I'm exhausted and a little less healthy. It also makes me a really bad sharer with my kids on weekends...

sarac986 · February 2017

LO has the daycare cold. Stuffy nose that I can't suck anything out of and a cough. I can see him gagging on his post nasal drip. It sounds extra bad at night. He seems pretty content though

Megz1902 · February 2017

First day back at work today! Feeling slightly better about it after our test run of daycare last week. I love her teachers and think this might work out. I miss her like crazy and get weepy when I pump, but I'm going to give it a month before I throw in the towel and stay home, if I still feel like that's where I need to be.

I had had a question, but the bump app made me log in to post a comment and then I forgot what I was going to ask!! Hope everyone is having a good Monday!

lajoliedreamer · February 2017

@sarac986 - that daycare cold, it's annoyingly unavoidable! E's been stuffy/runny for over 4 weeks now and this past weekend developed a bit of an ear infection. I feel so bad for her, but somehow she's stayed a happy baby.

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