@krex I don't think that is too terrible. I ended up having a c-section, and honestly felt relieved. This will probably be flamed, but I was WAYYYY more terrified of giving birth vaginally than being cut open.
Whoa now... careful i still have sunburn from the flaming I got about a similar opinion. :-)
Here's my slightly more political confession: I hate that it's always referred to as "gender" with babies. Gender is what a person identifies themselves as, not what their genitals are.
I understand that it's weird to call something a "sex reveal party" or whatever. I've even found myself slipping and asking people for recommendations for bizarre tests to "predict" gender (so we can do them all as part of a shower game) because it's so prevalent to talk about baby's gender, when in reality our baby could grow up to identify anywhere on the gender scale regardless of genitals.
Edited to add: oops, didn't realize this was a topic already addressed, I've only been here for 2 weeks!
Here's my slightly more political confession: I hate that it's always referred to as "gender" with babies. Gender is what a person identifies themselves as, not what their genitals are.
I understand that it's weird to call something a "sex reveal party" or whatever. I've even found myself slipping and asking people for recommendations for bizarre tests to "predict" gender (so we can do them all as part of a shower game) because it's so prevalent to talk about baby's gender, when in reality our baby could grow up to identify anywhere on the gender scale regardless of genitals.
This is actually pretty popular, especially here on the bump.
@EmeraldNC where were you for @neludelu thread?! Nel, don't worry, we won't head back that way but for real...Emerald, I'll direct you back to "Tearing vs. C section" thread. It's all there.
@Elyse1384 "bat signal crusty" almost made me spit out my water.
FFFC: DS and I were snuggling up this AM and I noticed his lower back felt wet. Once I determined it was not poop (via sniff test) and was just because his diaper was reeeeaalll wet, I decided to not give a f$*% and continued to sleep/snuggle in our bed for 45 more minutes. I still haven't stripped the bed yet. Whatevs.
OK, I'll probably get flamed for this one, especially considering some of the posts already in this thread.
I majorly judge anyone who gets a non-medically necessary c-section. I can not comprehend how anyone can look at both options and choose a c-section over a vaginal birth. It blows my mind. I think non-medically necessary c-sections should not be allowed, and I think it's borderline unethical/malpractice for doctors to offer them.
Do you consider having another large baby after a horrible, damaging vaginal delivery medically necessary? I think it's on the fence for some. I'm just curious what your view is.
Guys, we've already been over medically unnecessary c-sections and gender vs. sex, we are so tame as a BMB, we can't even fight about new confessions. Humph.
Confession: With my last pregnancy we had been trying for a few months. DH really wanted to get pregnant a certain month so that the due date would be two weeks from my SILs wedding. My husband was very frustrated with her and disagreed with the timing of the wedding (she wasnt divorced yet when she announced the date of the next over the top wedding) and thought if it worked out we wouldnt have to go. We tried different things that month and I got pregnant. My son was born a week early and we ended up having to do the whole thing with a newborn in tow. Breastfeeding every two hours in a gown was punishment for hoping to get out of the wedding.
As long as I don't draw the short straw on PP nurses, I think I will stay in the hospital as long as insurance will allow so I can be selfish and get more mom/baby only time while my folks and DH watch our twins.
I'm beginning to feel like I would actually LIKE most of you IRL... I seriously thought my UO about the strip clubs would get a little more back and forth...but nope. I'll dig deeper next week guys. I legit have very little to confess outside of sleeping with my pee soaked toddler...such is life!
@neludelu and @devow27 I saw some of that post... not all of it. Not that I was able to choose a c-section, it became necessary... However, I'm just incredibly lucky and had an incredible recovery from a c-section with minimal pain, etc. It is the only experience I have to base my opinion on.
OK, I'll probably get flamed for this one, especially considering some of the posts already in this thread.
I majorly judge anyone who gets a non-medically necessary c-section. I can not comprehend how anyone can look at both options and choose a c-section over a vaginal birth. It blows my mind. I think non-medically necessary c-sections should not be allowed, and I think it's borderline unethical/malpractice for doctors to offer them.
Do you consider having another large baby after a horrible, damaging vaginal delivery medically necessary? I think it's on the fence for some. I'm just curious what your view is.
I think medically necessary should be determined by medical professionals.
OK, I'll probably get flamed for this one, especially considering some of the posts already in this thread.
I majorly judge anyone who gets a non-medically necessary c-section. I can not comprehend how anyone can look at both options and choose a c-section over a vaginal birth. It blows my mind. I think non-medically necessary c-sections should not be allowed, and I think it's borderline unethical/malpractice for doctors to offer them.
Do you consider having another large baby after a horrible, damaging vaginal delivery medically necessary? I think it's on the fence for some. I'm just curious what your view is.
If the delivery was bad enough that my doctor says to me "I think you should deliver by C-Section next time" then that is medically necessary. I will say that for me personally, I judge more a FTM who has a non-medically necessary CS than a RCS mom. If you've already had a CS, I don't really judge anyone for getting another CS the next time around. VBACs aren't surgery, but they're also riskier than a vaginal birth without prior CS.
Plus, as I like to say, I'd prefer that giving birth destroy either my vag OR my abs, but preferably not both. So my fingers are crossed for another vaginal birth this time around. ;-)
my confession is that I work at probably 60% of my actual potential in the office, and yet I am constantly told how awesome I am and what a great employee I am. It's kind of sad really. If only they knew that I could easily do many many more hours of work rather than screw around online half the day. Oops. I need a new job after maternity leave ends probably. This is boring.
Yeah our FFFCs are way tame...July is so much better than us.
FFFC: I am watching a youtube video from a random hospital to remind myself how to take care of a newborn. I really need to read some of my old books again
@delujm0 But a c section stats are still riskier then a VBAC stats...so that point is null. Because yes, a VBAC poses a *slightly* more increased risk for uterine rupture, but if you go the RCS route, you're at much high risk for a multitude of things.
"Recently, ACOG stated that VBAC is safer than a repeat cesarean, and VBAC with more than one previous cesarean does not pose any increased risk.2"
Okay...I'm done...I know we've beat this horse into its second grave.
I will definitely be staying at the hospital for as long as my insurance will pay for, and i will be taking everything i conceivably can home with me. I strongly disagree with c sections for convenience sake, but I do think that the advantage of a scheduled c section over an emergency c section is enough that I would opt for that if I had a significantly higher risk of ending up with an emergency section. I haven't researched it, because it hadn't come up for me yet, but I'm not sure I would necessarily try for a vbac or a vaginal birth with a breech baby. And I'll take the strip club thing further and say that I am not ok with myself or dh going to a strip club or looking at pornography - I think it is objectifying and that sexuality shouldn't be separated from real relationships where you know and respect the other person as a person.
This is all I have for my own confession this week: I don't have a smart phone, and I don't want one. I can't justify the expense when I am somewhere with WiFi and have either a tablet or a laptop with me 95% of the time anyway.
This is a tame confession but also slightly embarrassing: I still play Neopets. You know that virtual pet website from the late 90s/2000s. At least my pets aren't dying of hunger.
FFC: H is the best man in a wedding over memorial day in Colorado. Its is all very up in the air if he can go or not since I will only be about 2 weeks out from giving birth. I hope he can't go. Because its a holiday weekend everything is an arm and a leg money wise. He needs to be there fro 3 nights and the hotel is over $200 a night plus airfare plus everything else. I didn't feel this way until they planned the bachelor party over Easter weekend in Arizona were everything is crazy expensive as well.
@danijo Neopets still exists! There goes my three day weekend.
I actually like that we're "tame." True there isn't really flaming going on but I learn a lot and think it's nice that people can disagree without being bootyheads.
I don't post 80% of what I want to because I'm afraid my profile isn't as anonymous as I'd like so I'm paranoid but I also don't want to make a new one.
@meilay I have the same concern. I'd have some good FFFCs, but I worry that I'm not really that anonymous. A tame one: My parents are in town and I have barely gotten any work done all day since they are in the other room. Another possibly flame worthy: I had a sip of DHs beer the other day. It was so good that I had another sip, and probably drank half of his beer. I know that people disagree with me, but I honestly don't care and am confident that 6oz of beer is not going to harm my baby.
FFFC: my Grandma is a mean, no downright cruel, woman. She has told my sisters and I that she doesn't love us because we're female. So I have no desire to reach out and include her in my life. She's alone in life and I totally get why.
The confession part is that I'm too much of a chicken to tell my Dad that when he asks why I don't go visit her or call her or even text her.
Here's a confession, or maybe just a vent. DH has been out of work now since November. We are officially at the point where we legitimately can't make all our bills (we already had been slacking on the "non-essentials" - not that any bill is non-essential). Like I can't pay daycare this week, I don't get paid until next Friday, and I have to pay rent the week after, but I definitely won't have enough for that, next week's daycare, and my car payment with my next paycheck.
I guess we COULD pull DS from daycare, but then DH can't have flexibility to schedule interviews, etc, and we would lose the daycare spot when he finally does get a job.
I'm legitimately freaking out right now about the money, and it's killing me. Oh, and this week I did not get child support from my ex....BUT DH is still paying his child support, so basically that's all he can do for bills with his measly unemployment check.
@MKRLTX I drink my fair share of beer while pregnant. Like maybe one beer a week. Always low ABV and always with food. But man do I enjoy that one beer. Right now there's only 2 Fat Tires left in my refrigerator. Mmmm.
My FFFC is pretty lame but it's what I've got: Nome of my extended family knows that I'm pregnant with #2, and I don't think all of my immediate family knows either. I don't see them all regularly and haven't bothered to tell them.
@awillis13 I totally hear you on this one. DH has a lot of anxiety issues and between that and him going back to school a few years ago, I've been the main breadwinner most of our relationship. We actually filed for bankruptcy last July, which will help in the long run, but means we are on an incredibly tight budget right now.
I do freelance work and my last contract ended 3 weeks ago. I have a 1 week contract coming up which will pay 2/3 the amount that DH will make in a month at his PT job, but nothing lined up yet after that. We're behind on a few bills, and need to move at the end of March but don't have enough money saved to be able to pay first/last at a new place so we haven't even started looking yet.
Because of his anxiety, and the fact that he's put so much work into his current job, it's very difficult to get DH to look for a new FT job that we will actually be able to live off of once I'm officially on maternity leave. I have to be careful about how I bring it up or else he views it as me calling him a failure, and then he kind of spirals into stress/anxiety/depression.
I I guess the FFFC part of this whole thing is that I'm kind of glad his job is really stressing him out right now, and that he had a meeting this morning with the executive director who told him they don't have the money to offer him FT (it's a non-profit so I believe it's actually true) and probably won't for quite some time. It means that he's actually decided on his own that he probably needs to look for a new job.
I guess the FFFC part (which did not get included in the original post) is we are going to Disney in April. I know people are going to side-eye this, but DH's mom and step father have paid for the vast majority of the trip, and the flights/etc were booked BEFORE DH lost his job. They paid for all but about $300 in flights, they are paying for the house rental, and the park passes. So once we get down there, we are responsible for a rental car and food.
@awillis13 no side-eye here. Shit happens, whether plans are made or not. We actually had a very similar issue where his parents bought us a very expensive 10-day Jamaican honeymoon which due to our work schedules got pushed back to only a few months before we filed for bankruptcy. It was all-expenses paid but I leginimtatly worried about how we were going to manage to eat during the actual traveling, and how we would be able to tip our room butlers (like I said, a very expensive trip...)
@CapricaAndrea I don't think people who know the full details of the trip will side-eye, it's the people who know DH is out of work but don't necessarily know the details of how the trip is being paid.
@awillis13, do you have anything you can sell? They have facebook yardsale groups where you can sell stuff almost immediately. Weekends are a great time for it. I've done this in tough times. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Re: FFFC - 12/17 Edition
I understand that it's weird to call something a "sex reveal party" or whatever. I've even found myself slipping and asking people for recommendations for bizarre tests to "predict" gender (so we can do them all as part of a shower game) because it's so prevalent to talk about baby's gender, when in reality our baby could grow up to identify anywhere on the gender scale regardless of genitals.
Edited to add: oops, didn't realize this was a topic already addressed, I've only been here for 2 weeks!
@Elyse1384 "bat signal crusty" almost made me spit out my water.
FFFC: DS and I were snuggling up this AM and I noticed his lower back felt wet. Once I determined it was not poop (via sniff test) and was just because his diaper was reeeeaalll wet, I decided to not give a f$*% and continued to sleep/snuggle in our bed for 45 more minutes.
I still haven't stripped the bed yet. Whatevs.
DH: 29
DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017
BFP #1 9/1999. DD Born 6/7/2000
BFP #2 10/2011. EDD 7/11/12. MMC discovered 11/2/11. D&C 11/4/11.
DX PCOS 10/2012.
BFP#3 1/11/13. DS Born 9/17/2013
BFP#4 9/30/17. Grow baby grow!
~Everyone Welcome~
As long as I don't draw the short straw on PP nurses, I think I will stay in the hospital as long as insurance will allow so I can be selfish and get more mom/baby only time while my folks and DH watch our twins.
Last time we left over 24 hrs early...
I legit have very little to confess outside of sleeping with my pee soaked toddler...such is life!
DH: 29
DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017
If the delivery was bad enough that my doctor says to me "I think you should deliver by C-Section next time" then that is medically necessary. I will say that for me personally, I judge more a FTM who has a non-medically necessary CS than a RCS mom. If you've already had a CS, I don't really judge anyone for getting another CS the next time around. VBACs aren't surgery, but they're also riskier than a vaginal birth without prior CS.
Plus, as I like to say, I'd prefer that giving birth destroy either my vag OR my abs, but preferably not both. So my fingers are crossed for another vaginal birth this time around. ;-)
my confession is that I work at probably 60% of my actual potential in the office, and yet I am constantly told how awesome I am and what a great employee I am. It's kind of sad really. If only they knew that I could easily do many many more hours of work rather than screw around online half the day. Oops. I need a new job after maternity leave ends probably. This is boring.
Yeah our FFFCs are way tame...July is so much better than us.
But a c section stats are still riskier then a VBAC stats...so that point is null. Because yes, a VBAC poses a *slightly* more increased risk for uterine rupture, but if you go the RCS route, you're at much high risk for a multitude of things.
"Recently, ACOG stated that VBAC is safer than a repeat cesarean, and VBAC with more than one previous cesarean does not pose any increased risk.2"
Okay...I'm done...I know we've beat this horse into its second grave.
DH: 29
DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017
This is all I have for my own confession this week: I don't have a smart phone, and I don't want one. I can't justify the expense when I am somewhere with WiFi and have either a tablet or a laptop with me 95% of the time anyway.
I still play Neopets. You know that virtual pet website from the late 90s/2000s. At least my pets aren't dying of hunger.
I actually like that we're "tame." True there isn't really flaming going on but I learn a lot and think it's nice that people can disagree without being bootyheads.
I don't post 80% of what I want to because I'm afraid my profile isn't as anonymous as I'd like so I'm paranoid but I also don't want to make a new one.
A tame one: My parents are in town and I have barely gotten any work done all day since they are in the other room.
Another possibly flame worthy: I had a sip of DHs beer the other day. It was so good that I had another sip, and probably drank half of his beer. I know that people disagree with me, but I honestly don't care and am confident that 6oz of beer is not going to harm my baby.
The confession part is that I'm too much of a chicken to tell my Dad that when he asks why I don't go visit her or call her or even text her.
I definitely giggled, too!!
Oh... I can give YOU a fake flaming: first the big baby hair bows and now pickles?!?! I thought we were going to be friends...
I guess we COULD pull DS from daycare, but then DH can't have flexibility to schedule interviews, etc, and we would lose the daycare spot when he finally does get a job.
I'm legitimately freaking out right now about the money, and it's killing me. Oh, and this week I did not get child support from my ex....BUT DH is still paying his child support, so basically that's all he can do for bills with his measly unemployment check.
He just needs to find a goddamn job already.
My FFFC is pretty lame but it's what I've got: Nome of my extended family knows that I'm pregnant with #2, and I don't think all of my immediate family knows either. I don't see them all regularly and haven't bothered to tell them.
I do freelance work and my last contract ended 3 weeks ago. I have a 1 week contract coming up which will pay 2/3 the amount that DH will make in a month at his PT job, but nothing lined up yet after that. We're behind on a few bills, and need to move at the end of March but don't have enough money saved to be able to pay first/last at a new place so we haven't even started looking yet.
Because of his anxiety, and the fact that he's put so much work into his current job, it's very difficult to get DH to look for a new FT job that we will actually be able to live off of once I'm officially on maternity leave. I have to be careful about how I bring it up or else he views it as me calling him a failure, and then he kind of spirals into stress/anxiety/depression.
I I guess the FFFC part of this whole thing is that I'm kind of glad his job is really stressing him out right now, and that he had a meeting this morning with the executive director who told him they don't have the money to offer him FT (it's a non-profit so I believe it's actually true) and probably won't for quite some time. It means that he's actually decided on his own that he probably needs to look for a new job.
BFP #1 9/1999. DD Born 6/7/2000
BFP #2 10/2011. EDD 7/11/12. MMC discovered 11/2/11. D&C 11/4/11.
DX PCOS 10/2012.
BFP#3 1/11/13. DS Born 9/17/2013
BFP#4 9/30/17. Grow baby grow!
~Everyone Welcome~