This is not really a UO, but a burning question from yesterday and I didn't want to resurrect yesterday's WTF thread: @FLAshley what is baking soda finger???
I guess it could be an UO depending on what it is!
TTGP March Siggy Challenge: Animals Celebrating St. Patrick's Day
This is not really a UO, but a burning question from yesterday and I didn't want to resurrect yesterday's WTF thread: @FLAshley what is baking soda finger???
I guess it could be an UO depending on what it is!
Doesn't baking soda finger have to do with inserting baking soda into your vag at some point around O to try to conceive a certain gender? You know, ignoring all science and logic...
My UO:
I think it's incredibly rude to bring food to a party without asking the host first (unless it's a pot-luck style party). For example, we hosted a Super Bowl party, and I had a menu planned out, but told guests to bring their own booze. I had 3-4 guests text me to announce that they were bringing food, most of which was redundant. I politely told them that either a.) I was already preparing that, or b.) another guest was already bringing that, or c.) we already had too much food, to which they all replied some variation on "oh, well I already made it, sooooooo..." I mean, we're shelling out a couple hundred bucks to throw this party and provide food and TOLD you that we didn't need anyone to bring food, but if you REALLY want to bring food, the least you could do is ASK me what to bring so that we don't end up with 4 trays of seven layer dip.
We also had one guest show up FOUR hours early, expecting to be able to use my kitchen to prepare the food that they brought (which was again redundant). Um, yeah, don't worry, I wasn't planning my to use my own kitchen to prepare for this party or anything.
I feel like I sound like the restaurant service and ranch Nazi LOL.
@adirat Of course! BSF is my area of expertise. In a nutshell (as @lund explained), it is literally a baking soda-coated finger inserted into your vag a short while before you HIO.
It is supposed to alter the pH, sway for girl or boy (I can't remember), and produce copious amounts of perfect EWCM. Disregard the burning. Disregard the nagging voice in the back of your mind shouting "WTF am I doing??"
If you need some entertainment and/or horror-inducing reading material, please Google "babycenter BSF" and prepare yourself. You will be confused. You will say, "No, just no.This can't be real." But it is real. And it's been going on for months. And months. And they never stop trying. Enjoy!
@LuND That food thing would drive me nuts! I actually enjoy planning a menu and making the food, so I'd be pissed if people just stepped all over it and brought whatever anyway. Just ask first! That way you could maybe actually bring something helpful. Ugh!
Let me be very clear that I love having grads lurk, check in, share their knowledge, sympathize, commiserate, etc. They're valuable members of our community and I love having them around.
However, I would move that we stop with the *lurker* *dirty lurker* and *siggy warning*s. #1. For the siggy warnings, when people are on mobile, they don't see the siggy anyways so they would have missed the whole thing, except that it was brought to their attention that there's a siggy to be warned about so it completely defeats the purpose. For the *lurker* parts, it still serves to separate and as a reminder that they are 'other'. And frankly, I feel like *lurker* is almost always well-intentioned but *dirty lurker* just feels like it has a little bit of "tee-hee, I'm not like you!" to it. That part is probably just my BBC creeping in, though. I DON'T look down on everyone who uses *dirty lurker* and think that they're trying to upset people. I couldn't even tell you the name of the last person I saw using that. It's just how it strikes me when I see it.
I think it's especially hard to have something that is so dividing and points out KU vs. not when it's on a thread that's about someone who is having a MC. I think it's wonderful to have people stop in to offer support but I do feel that adding the *lurker* designation just serves as a reminder that this person is pregnant while that person isn't.
Mostly, you remember who is a grad and who is TTGP. And even when you don't, someone's current status is rarely actually pertinent to that specific conversation. Unless you have a bad history here or are a drive-by with no history, you all belong here.
If everyone disagrees, cool. We'll keep at it the way we have been. If not, let's make a gradual change. There's no need to jump on people who pop in to offer support and tell them that they can't write that. Just, as new people graduate, they can start shifting to skipping it.
Edit: adding in a very key DON'T.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@LuND That food thing would drive me nuts! I actually enjoy planning a menu and making the food, so I'd be pissed if people just stepped all over it and brought whatever anyway. Just ask first! That way you could maybe actually bring something helpful. Ugh!
EXACTLY! I had ONE person ask what to bring, which was actually helpful. I enjoy menu planning and cooking too, so its very frustrating when people step all over it (I like the way you put that!). Of course DH just thought I was being a giant bitch about it. I mean, I would never be rude to someone if they showed up with unnecessary or redundant food, but I ALWAYS make a point to ask the host first when I'm attending other gatherings.
I can't stand when I'm at a casino and folks are touching the screens of the slot machines "to help them win". First of all, you look ridiculous, second of all, that doesn't work. Stop putting your dirty fingers all over everything. Gross.
@LuND YH just doesn't understand what goes into planning a menu for a get together It may seem like we are petty bitches, but please don't bring your caramel sticky buns when I have already planned to make homemade cinnamon rolls!
@cdnrunning I am headed to Vegas next week, and I promise I will not touch the slot machine screens! (Not that I ever did, but...)
@ag90 I'mma just recommend you Google that. It's insane.
@cdnrunning@alysapuggles I will just say that some of the good slots (like the rumble seat/surround sound ones) have Easter eggs in them when you touch the screen. For example, on the Ghostbusters one, if you tickle Slimer, he does all sorts of charming things. Laughs, farts, you know, Slimer stuff.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@Kiki75 I've always just thought the lurker and dirty lurker status was more of a "sorry to eavesdrop" pleasantry or to indicate to new members who may not recognize them that they don't regularly post on TTGP (but I see how that could also give off the "other" vibe). I will say the siggy warning thing really confused me when I first starting lurking though because I'm almost always on the App and I had no idea what a siggy was.
@kiki75 I don't see the "lurker" designation as a dig, or KU vs not, because there are some lurkers who are TTGP but just don't post. I see *lurker* as just a warning that "you probably won't recognize my screen name." I'd rather get the warning than see a screen name that hardly posts commenting on something, because I'd be like "and who are you?" and side-eye them. "Dirty lurker" is just tongue-in-cheek, because they're acknowledging they're being creepy.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@lund - I'm with you, lady. I had the same thing happen at our Super Bowl party, and it annoyed me. Especially since we made food and told people to bring booze, we didn't buy booze. Then people brought food and not booze, and we totally didn't have enough. And then people broke into the expensive stuff we had. It annoyed the crap out of me.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
@eggplantface I don't think it's really ever intended as a dig. I think people mean well and want to follow the guidelines and norms, it just struck me, particularly on a recent loss thread, as not being as helpful as intended.
@JJMNO1616 I agree that it's well-intentioned. I just don't know that it's necessary or helpful all of the times it's being used. If someone comes back to talk to someone else, Nancy New Girl doesn't need to know she's a grad. Sure, if it's pertinent or you're talking to someone who would wonder, "Who dis?" it makes sense. Maybe we move to less of a blanket application and more of a case-by-case?
And if it really is a UO, and if I'm the only one who feels this way, we carry on as we have been. No biggie.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@kiki75 I totally get where you're coming from. In most cases where lurkers post, it's something to offer support etc, where I don't think it matters who you are or what your screen name is - especially if the OP would recognize you either way, it doesn't matter if the other people reading the thread are like "hey, who the f is that?!" If it were a post about something that needed an educational response, I see where the *lurker* tag might be appropriate... but when I'm having bad days, sometimes I get bitter at seeing it because I probably wouldn't have noticed it was a grad anyway. But yeah, I'm bitter a lot so maybe my opinion shouldn't matter!
@Kiki75 I don't personally have any attachment or opinion on using it vs not using it. I was just sharing the way I interpreted it... also LOL at "Nancy New Girl".
@kiki75 I 100% agree with you. It's like oh great thanks for reminding me I'm still here and you're not. While I'm sure no one is doing it to be intentionally harmful, I think we can all agree long-haul ttc blows and that stuff can sting.
Also I just spent a good ten minutes looking for a gif of Lindsay from You're the Worst singing "new phone who dis" but no luck But yeah the "lurking" doesn't stop be from wondering that sometimes anyway.
I see what you mean about the type of thread. I was thinking mainly of when lurkers pop in on the drive-bys to post a snarky comment, which is usually when the TTGP non-participants post. But yeah, if you're posting on a loss thread because you know the person, it's not needed.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@LuND That drives me absolutely effing BANANAS. I'm with you! I always take time to plan menus and I hate when people bring unauthorized food. I realllllly hate when they come late and then need me to stop greeting guests in order to show them where platters are and find room for their stuff! And I REALLY hate when they arrive early and need to mess up my fully clean and party ready kitchen with their cooking! Omg rant over. @eggplantface thats how I always interpreted the lurker/dirty lurker warnings, but hearing others (@kiki75, @adirat, et all) opinions totally makes sense too.
@Kiki75 I think that having grads put their tickers in spoilers instead of having TWs is helpful. What do you think? *TW That's what I did because I couldn't quite grasp the idea what I was gone for good, although I may not be in a situation similar to others. I kind of knew staying pregnant was always going to be a challenge for me. I also get nervous seeing grads come back because I worry something went wrong, so that trigger warning tells me they are okay. *TW*
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
I'm seriously late to the party here, but I tend to use the lurker/dirty lurker when I'm on a board that i clearly do NOT belong on (i.e. my BMB each month lol)
I could totally see how it could come across both ways though. Personally, I'm gonna just follow whatever you ladies decide!
Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09 DS born 3/11 Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!! divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started) Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!! Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18 TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
I don't think we'll be able to stop it from happening, or police it without going hoarse from repeating ourselves. It will likely remain a cause of annoyance to rant about in FFFC
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
Re: UO Thursday
I guess it could be an UO depending on what it is!
My UO:
I think it's incredibly rude to bring food to a party without asking the host first (unless it's a pot-luck style party). For example, we hosted a Super Bowl party, and I had a menu planned out, but told guests to bring their own booze. I had 3-4 guests text me to announce that they were bringing food, most of which was redundant. I politely told them that either a.) I was already preparing that, or b.) another guest was already bringing that, or c.) we already had too much food, to which they all replied some variation on "oh, well I already made it, sooooooo..." I mean, we're shelling out a couple hundred bucks to throw this party and provide food and TOLD you that we didn't need anyone to bring food, but if you REALLY want to bring food, the least you could do is ASK me what to bring so that we don't end up with 4 trays of seven layer dip.
We also had one guest show up FOUR hours early, expecting to be able to use my kitchen to prepare the food that they brought (which was again redundant). Um, yeah, don't worry, I wasn't planning my to use my own kitchen to prepare for this party or anything.
I feel like I sound like the restaurant service and ranch Nazi LOL.
It is supposed to alter the pH, sway for girl or boy (I can't remember), and produce copious amounts of perfect EWCM. Disregard the burning. Disregard the nagging voice in the back of your mind shouting "WTF am I doing??"
If you need some entertainment and/or horror-inducing reading material, please Google "babycenter BSF" and prepare yourself. You will be confused. You will say, "No, just no.This can't be real." But it is real. And it's been going on for months. And months. And they never stop trying. Enjoy!
Me: 36 DH: 41
Me: 36 DH: 41
However, I would move that we stop with the *lurker* *dirty lurker* and *siggy warning*s. #1. For the siggy warnings, when people are on mobile, they don't see the siggy anyways so they would have missed the whole thing, except that it was brought to their attention that there's a siggy to be warned about so it completely defeats the purpose. For the *lurker* parts, it still serves to separate and as a reminder that they are 'other'. And frankly, I feel like *lurker* is almost always well-intentioned but *dirty lurker* just feels like it has a little bit of "tee-hee, I'm not like you!" to it. That part is probably just my BBC creeping in, though. I DON'T look down on everyone who uses *dirty lurker* and think that they're trying to upset people. I couldn't even tell you the name of the last person I saw using that. It's just how it strikes me when I see it.
I think it's especially hard to have something that is so dividing and points out KU vs. not when it's on a thread that's about someone who is having a MC. I think it's wonderful to have people stop in to offer support but I do feel that adding the *lurker* designation just serves as a reminder that this person is pregnant while that person isn't.
Mostly, you remember who is a grad and who is TTGP. And even when you don't, someone's current status is rarely actually pertinent to that specific conversation. Unless you have a bad history here or are a drive-by with no history, you all belong here.
If everyone disagrees, cool. We'll keep at it the way we have been. If not, let's make a gradual change. There's no need to jump on people who pop in to offer support and tell them that they can't write that. Just, as new people graduate, they can start shifting to skipping it.
Edit: adding in a very key DON'T.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@cdnrunning I am headed to Vegas next week, and I promise I will not touch the slot machine screens! (Not that I ever did, but...)
Me: 36 DH: 41
@cdnrunning @alysapuggles I will just say that some of the good slots (like the rumble seat/surround sound ones) have Easter eggs in them when you touch the screen. For example, on the Ghostbusters one, if you tickle Slimer, he does all sorts of charming things. Laughs, farts, you know, Slimer stuff.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
DS1: 9.6.12**DS2: 12.22.14
CP1: 6/17 @4w4d
CP2: 9/17 @4w3d
CP3: 2/18 @5w
Rainbow Baby On Board
<a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2019-03-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
@JJMNO1616 I agree that it's well-intentioned. I just don't know that it's necessary or helpful all of the times it's being used. If someone comes back to talk to someone else, Nancy New Girl doesn't need to know she's a grad. Sure, if it's pertinent or you're talking to someone who would wonder, "Who dis?" it makes sense. Maybe we move to less of a blanket application and more of a case-by-case?
And if it really is a UO, and if I'm the only one who feels this way, we carry on as we have been. No biggie.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
Also I just spent a good ten minutes looking for a gif of Lindsay from You're the Worst singing "new phone who dis" but no luck But yeah the "lurking" doesn't stop be from wondering that sometimes anyway.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
@eggplantface thats how I always interpreted the lurker/dirty lurker warnings, but hearing others (@kiki75, @adirat, et all) opinions totally makes sense too.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
I could totally see how it could come across both ways though. Personally, I'm gonna just follow whatever you ladies decide!
DS born 3/11
Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!!
divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18
TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18