Telling Siblings

xiheatherix · February 2017

Hello All, So I am expecting #3 and have a 2 and 4 year old. I go to Doctor Feb 23 for the first time and ultrasound. When do you tell kids? I know they are young but especially my four year old I feel will tell everyone. I was going to wait until closer to the 12 week time frame when I am ready to tell the public. I already told my mom and sister. I would like to tell my inlaws and close friends early but not sure what the right thing to do with the kids.. If anyone had experience with this before I would appreciate the advice

Thanks!!!

jessafishy · February 2017

DS is only 2.5 so I don't think he will fully understand but I plan to wait until at least after my first doctor's appointment in early March.

mommac2017 · February 2017

I think it's up to you, of course. My DS is only 21 months so we've "told him" but he doesn't understand. A good friend of mine told both her boys (4 and 2) for both her pregnancies and ended up miscarrying twice. Her boys are aware that they lost 2 babies.

I guess the question is 1) how will you approach it if (God forbid) something happens? Would you want them to know or not? And 2) Can they keep their mouths shut about the pregnancy or is the whole world going to find out once you tell them? I haven't told my 4 year old nephew yet because I know he would tell everyone he saw.

rockinro_17 · February 2017

We told our kids. They're 7, 3, and 1 1/2. I know our oldest can keep the secret and thought we'd be ok with our 3yo because he wouldn't get it. WRONG! Every time that little guy sees me he pats my tummy and says "baby!" and he keeps asking to see the baby. I think he's actually excited (which is so cute) and somehow, don't ask me how, actually gets what's going but we're going to have to put this kid on lock down for a couple months! Eek!

ksf13 · February 2017

We told our 3 1/2 year old. She has done well with the "it's a secret, so don't tell everyone" lol. I was hesitant to tell her before our first appointment, but decided to go ahead. We have told close family, just so they can be praying for a healthy pregnancy, so she was excited that we let her announce to them.

ShakeUpTampa · February 2017

My son is 3, his teacher and directors of daycare know but our son will not know until right before we do finally announce. He has a big mouth and we are keeping it secret for awhile

beezeee · February 2017

I was planning on keeping it from DD (she's 2.5) at least until my first appointment, but I already let it slip. She's been talking about "her babies" and "sister" for the past few months, well before we were pregnant, so I was just too excited to keep it from her. She definitely understands what is going on. She talks about it constantly, but no one thinks anything of it because it's nothing new for her.

My only concern is that if something were to happen, it would be so hard to tell her and break her little heart, which I didn't really think about before telling her. For that reason, it probably would have been better to wait.

ShakeUpTampa · February 2017

I think the hardest part is since my Mother passed away in July, my son has been asking for a baby brother or sister and LOVES watching the Bubble Guppies episode where Molly gets a sister. One day at Target he asked us, "Can I have one of those?" and I looked and saw a little baby in a cart lol. I said, "A baby?" and he nodded his head. So I think he is more than ready but at the same time I just don't trust him to keep his mouth quiet at my sister's upcoming baby shower or on webcam with my Grandmother.

sjohns908 · February 2017

My oldest is almost 8 and is great at keeping secrets. She kept it a secret when she was 4 and we told her about baby #3. I was impressed.
Our kids are 8 and 3 next month and middle is 5.5, oldest is only one that can keep a secret lol.

*TW* When we were pregnant a few months back, I didn't want to tell them (along with anyone else) until 2nd tri since we had two chemicals before that. Good thing we didn't, since we lost that one at 10 weeks. I couldn't imagine having to explain to them that we weren't going to have a baby in June after all *End TW*

So we have the same plan this time around to wait until 2nd tri in case something happens again, I don't want to try to explain it to my kids. It was hard enough when they witnessed our rabbit die in December.

ehepner · February 2017

I'm right there with you in that my 4 (almost 5) year old will tell everyone. So i'm going to wait until after we see a heartbeat at out u/s to tell her and DS. Also too if, God forbid, something goes wrong, i don't know how to explain it to her in a way she would understand. And she's so young and innocent i don't want to have to explain something like that to her. So we will wait. I don't feel it's that fair to tell my mom and dad and not my daughter so i'm going to keep my strength, even though it's KILLING me, and not tell my parents either. boo.

kkerner87 · February 2017

I want to tell DD, but she is only 17 months old, so she won't really know what is going on. She will be such a good big sister. I watch her play with her baby dolls and she gently tucks them in, gives them kisses and feeds them a bottle! It is so cute!

sjohns908 · February 2017

@kkerner87 awww! My youngest DD will be 3 next month and she is super sweet with her baby dolls too. It makes my heart melt. She tells me all about how she's feeding them, giving them baths, changing them, etc. Yesterday while it was snowing, she went and got her favorite baby, held it up to the window and goes "see the snow?". Seriously, be still my heart. I just hope this means she'll be a good big sister and not a super jealous one like I'm worried about lol

mamabear148-2 · February 2017

I also have a 4 and 2 yr olds. I've told the 2yr old and the news hasn't registered. I haven't told my 4yr old yet bc I know she'll tell everyone at her preschool. I might wait til after our first appointment next week to let her know, but I might wait til later just so I can avoid the constant questions about when the baby will get here (and 8ish months is an eternity for kids that age) LOL

2babes3angels · February 2017

I have a 3 yo and an 18 month old. Little brother doesn't understand, but big brother does. I haven't told him yet. TW--we told our older son I was preggo back in Aug (he was part of our video announcement). We tell people super early because we've had multiple losses and wanted people praying asap. He didn't tell anyone, but a few weeks later, I miscarried again and had to explain to him that the baby went to heaven. He still remembers that and asks about the baby from time to time. I don't regret telling him so early on though because for us, it's important for our kids to know about all their siblings in heaven. Whatever you decide, I hope you feel peace about it

purplestarz · February 2017

It's a tough call. My 2.5 year old won't really understand (I don't think?), and we just don't really want to give her the vocabulary of "baby" "sister/brother", etc, right now because I just know she'll start talking about it all the time even if she doesn't understand. I feel like if she were older I would wait anyway. I couldn't imagine trying to tell her if something happened. But, to each their own. Every family is different.

I maaaaaay have asked DD the other night if she wants a brother or a sister (couldn't help myself)...she responded with sister, but then also said she wanted Dory and Nemo so I think I'm safe on her spilling the beans for now

kmornelas29 · February 2017

My daughter will be 4 in March. We told her, and she has told people, but ok okay with it because we really only see family. She told her teacher, which I thought was cute, because she's so excited. As an after thought, I realized it might not be the best "just incase," but it's done now and there is no regrets.

xiheatherix · February 2017

I know I am so anxious to tell my daughter because she is going to be so excited and such a great big big sister. But I am just not ready for her teacher and all the moms at school to know just yet, so I think I am holding off def until my appointment which is a little less the 2 weeks away now!!! My son is 2 and wouldn't fully understand so I am not worried about. I think I will see how my appointment goes. The "just incase" factor is what is scaring me because I can explain to adults but wouldn't want to have that talk with my 4 year old daughter God Forbid, she knows the world as perfect and wouldn't want her to know at a young age and develop anxiety or some fear issue if that makes sense. Thank you everyone for your input and I am hoping in 2 weeks I have an awesome ultrasound and can announce to the inlaws and extended family.. Facebook def will be the second trimester !!!

xiheatherix · February 2017

Also love everyones tickers.. I am seeming to have trouble on adding and/or i forget!! I would like to ass my DD & DS and the future son/daughter

mommac2017 · February 2017

Ever since I told my 21 month old son about the baby, he walks around saying "shhhh the baby". It's super cute! But I really don't want him to do it in front of anyone we haven't told (which is pretty much everyone else!!). I didn't think he'd understand, but apparently he does!

sqfibemom · February 2017

@CAdreamin13 I've had two losses in the last 7 months as well ❤

So I'm weird and tell my kids right away. When we had our last loss they both (the 9 and 5 year olds) knew and they were so sweet and talked about it and named the baby and everything. DS still talks about the baby in heaven. They weren't told about my previous losses and it was really hard for me to fully let myself grieve when I felt I had to put on a show in front of them. They are yappy haha and I know half the town will know before the end of the week, but I'm trying to look at the positives of seeing their excitement for now.

clairelouise34 · February 2017

Hey everyone,

Anyone have a tip on telling an older child? My son is 11. And im sure hes gonna get pretty jealous... His behaviour has not been great at home in recent weeks as it is, and I think this will make him worse. I think he will be a fantastic big brother hes very loving and kind. But I know he will feel jealous about me sharing myself too. We arent going to share yet. We are paying for a early scan next Saturday as we had a miscarriage last march. So im trying not to get my hopes up as im terrified of losing this LO too.

Fingers crossed I do get to tell him what an awesome big bro he is gonna be! :-)

Claire xxx

canonmom413 · February 2017

I have a 9.5 and 6.5 year old. We plan on telling them after our 8 week appt. praying they can keep it quiet. They are pretty good like that. Our family lives far away so we're sending them announcement cards before publicly (FB) announcing. I think my 9.5 year old will be great and not jealous, but I think I'm 6.5 year old may struggle with sharing daddy, not so much me. She's such a daddy's girl. If this baby is a boy, it would be much easier on her. But I know she'll get over it too.

sujana22 · February 2017

I have a 2 and half year old too. When I first told her, she got super jealous. I am talking to her little by little. Now, she kisses my tummy when I ask her to.

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